by Amy Andrews
She missed Mack.
And then she hated how much she missed Mack, and how it was ruining her adventure. So, she spent her time alternating between being sad and pissed off.
Why was she moping over a guy who hadn’t even called? He hadn’t returned her voicemail. He hadn’t texted to say bon voyage, or I had a great time, or even how’s the weather. What more evidence did she need that Mack hadn’t seen her as anything other than a body in his bed?
So, she needed to get over him.
But then the night came and she just…craved.
Relived all the moments they’d shared in bed together. The fun, the excitement, the pure sexual rush.
The intimacy.
Memories of his touch, his kiss, the thrust of his hips, and the long hard length of him inside her had her stuffing her fists between her legs to ease the unbearable ache, or contemplating using the Orgasmatron, but knowing it could never substitute for what she really needed.
Mack.
A gentle knock at her door heralded her mother who entered, like she had the last seven mornings, carrying a steaming hot cup of tea. Josie sat up in bed and took it gratefully. “Thanks, Mum.”
Thelma Butler smiled at her daughter, and Josie was struck with how content she seemed. There’d been so many years when her mother had worn her desperation to find a man like a stamp on her forehead. So many years of heartbreak, of being with the wrong guys because she couldn’t bear to be alone.
Josie was thrilled that her mother had finally found a keeper. A good guy who treated her right.
In fact, she was a little envious.
“Darling…” Thelma said as Josie sipped her tea. “I get the feeling you’re not very happy at the moment.”
She paused mid-sip. She’d been trying really hard to be enthusiastic and jovial, but obviously not enough. “I’m fine, Mum,” she said. “Just a little jet lagged still I think.”
Her mother reached out and squeezed her hand. “You think I don’t know what a woman suffering guy problems looks like?”
When she opened her mouth to deny it, Josie realized that she wanted to talk about it, to unburden herself before the misery ate her up. She’d never really confided in her mother about men—for a lot of her life, Josie had counseled her mother in that department—but it felt good to know she could lean on her mother now.
Josie wrapped her fingers around the mug. “Everything’s a bit of a mess, really.”
Her mother smiled gently, tucking her hair, the red faded with grays now, behind her ear. “I know leaving Curtis wasn’t an easy decision for you, darling. I know you feel guilty about it. But he’ll be fine. You can’t stay in a relationship where you’re unhappy. I know that better than anyone.”
“It’s not Curtis,” Josie said. “It’s…Mack.”
And then Josie was telling her the whole sordid story. The list and the alley and the proposition. Everything.
“You love him.”
Josie nodded, a lump in her throat. “Yes,” she confirmed huskily.
Her mother reached out to brush the bangs off Josie’s forehead and smiled at her. “Then what are you doing here?”
The lump grew thicker, and Josie was irritated by her mother’s overly simplistic reply. “I don’t fall in love after ten days, Mother.”
“Because that’s my department, right?”
Josie was instantly contrite. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’re right. I was in and out of love like a yoyo. I didn’t set a very good example for you, did I?”
She shrugged, voicing one of the things that had been eating at her the most. “Insta-love never lasted very long for you.”
“And you’re worried it’ll turn to dust for you, too? We’re very different people, you and I. And don’t forget you and Curtis were together for five years. You have practice at longevity.”
“But I wasn’t in love with Curtis. Not in that truly, madly, deeply way. I was in love with what he offered me, what he represented.”
“And you don’t feel that way about Mack?”
“Oh no,” Josie shook her head emphatically. “Pardon the pun, but I feel like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck. And I want to do it all over again.”
Thelma laughed and pulled Josie into a hard hug. “That sounds about right. So, what do you plan to do about it?”
Josie’s eyes filled with tears. “I want to see him again. I honestly don’t think I can go much longer without seeing him. I want to tell him how I feel… But what if he rejects me?”
Her mother pulled out of the embrace. “Well, I remember Mack being pretty smart, so I don’t think he’s gonna. But if he does, then you’ll deal with it and, because you’re you, you’ll deal with it far better than I ever did. But giving up without even trying?” She shook her head. “That’s not an option. Love’s too important for that.”
Josie looked into eyes that were scarily like her own. Except older and, in this case, a hell of a lot wiser. Her mother was right—she had to at least put herself out there. Take a chance.
But it was a terrifying prospect. Leaping into the unknown. Without a parachute.
Thelma rubbed her hands up and down Josie’s arms in a familiar caress. “Trust me, okay?”
“Okay.” She took a deep breath and then swung her legs over the side of the bed. “Can I use your computer? I need to get on a plane.”
…
Thirty hours later, Josie was standing outside the front door of the Kennedy vet practice ringing the after-hours bell. It was ten o’clock Friday night. She was equal parts exhausted, nervous, terrified, and nauseated.
And she was pretty damn sure she was either going to jump Mack or barf all over his shoes the second she saw him.
Either way, she was probably going to disgrace herself.
Thankfully, Sal answered the door. “Josie!”
Sal pulled her in for a hug, and for long, long moments, Josie sunk into it eternally grateful that her friend was still talking to her, that she didn’t hate her.
“Are you okay?” Sal asked.
Josie shook her head, close to tears. “No. How’s Mack?”
“Completely unbearable. Please tell me you’ve come to sex him out of it?”
Josie laughed, and it felt good to release the tension that had plenty of time to build on her interminable flight.
A car pulled up at the curb and beeped its horn. A taxi.
“Do you love him?” Sal asked.
She nodded miserably. “Yes.”
Sal laughed. “You have perfect timing. Go up. I’ll just tell the cab he’s not required, and I’ll go do some charting to give you guys some privacy.”
Josie’s legs felt like wet string as she climbed the stairs, dragging her overnight bag with her. She pushed through the open door of the apartment to find a large suitcase at the door and Mack calling from the next room, “Sal? If that’s the taxi, tell them I’ll be just one minute.”
Josie’s heart crashed around in her chest. He was leaving?
And then he was striding into the lounge, looking sexy and capable in blue jeans and a snug, long-sleeved shirt that emphasized his broad shoulders and the rangy length of his torso. His old, leather, bomber-style jacket was thrown over his forearm.
Her heartbeat stuttered to a halt. He looked so damn good, and her belly twisted hard. It appeared that jumping him was going to be her vehicle to disgrace.
“Josie?”
Nausea threatened. “You’re leaving?”
“Josie… You’re here.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “Yes.”
“Oh, thank God.” He strode across the room to her in four easy steps and dragged her into his arms. “I was coming to you,” he muttered, pushing his fingers into her hair, cradling her face in his hands. “My flight leaves in three hours.”
Her heart just about leaped out of her chest. “You were?” Surely, if he was flying to England, that was good?
He smiled and her pulse tripped. �
�I wrote a list,” he said.
“You…did?”
“It’s not very big.”
Josie wasn’t sure where this was going, but his thumb was stroking her temple, and his gaze kept dropping to her mouth, and she was damn sure she wanted to find out. “It’s not?”
“There’s only three things on it.”
“Can I… Can I see it?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t write it down. I memorized it.”
Josie held her breath. “Oh?”
“Fly to England. Find Josie. Tell her I love her.”
Josie swallowed as tears threatened again. “That’s a good list,” she said, her voice rasped.
He grinned. “I like it.”
“You love me?”
His gaze locked with hers. “I do. I love you. I’m in love with you. I fought it because I was trying to be measured and guard my heart. I mean, we were together for what, ten days? That’s crazy, right?”
Josie’s chest pounded. “Well, fifteen years and ten days, but yeah. Completely crazy.”
“And I know you need to go off and sow your wild oats, and it’s wrong of me to get in between that, but every time I think of you with somebody else…” He rubbed his thumb along her bottom lip. “I want to smash things.”
“I don’t care about my oats,” Josie dismissed. What she really wanted was right here in front of her. And he loved her.
“No.” He shook his head emphatically. “You should. I care. And if you’ll have me, I’d like to go with you and show you things that’ll blow your mind. I want to show you the Colosseum. I want to drink Guinness with you in Ireland. I want to take you for a gondola ride in Venice. And I know it won’t be the same free-love extravaganza you dreamed about, but I can promise you as much smutty sex as you can take, and I’ll learn all the dirty words in every European language.”
Josie laughed. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I hope so, because I am totally, madly, deeply in love with you, Josephine Butler. What do you say? Let’s get the next plane and go sow your wild oats together.”
Josie’s heart soared at his wonderful proposition, but her head soon pulled her into line. This was so much more than she’d hoped for on the plane ride over, but it wasn’t time to celebrate just yet. “What about your Hendra stuff?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he dismissed. “Not as much as you do. I’ll find a replacement.”
“No.” She was touched by his consideration—it made her love him even more—but there was no way she could let him do that. “Absolutely not. You can’t do that, Mack. I love you too much to just let you walk away from an important project because of me. You can’t let Cathy down. And what about John? You promised him, and I won’t let you back out on that. Europe’s not going anywhere. This Hendra thing is too important.”
He threaded his fingers deeper into her hair. “You love me?”
There was wonder in his voice, and she reveled in the giddy little trip it gave to her pulse. “Yes.” She smiled. “I do. But”—she pulled his hands away from her face—“Hendra project first.”
“I really can get someone else to take my position,” he assured. “I can think of several excellent candidates.”
“But then you wouldn’t be the Mack I know. And I don’t want any part of that guy. You have to do this. I’m not going to take no for an answer.”
He frowned. “You’re serious?”
“Absolutely.”
He smiled at her. “Boy, did I get lucky with you.”
She smiled back. Damn straight he did. “Hendra, then Europe. Okay?”
Mack nodded, sliding his hands back into her hair again. “What about Hendra first, then an extended honeymoon in Europe?”
A sigh fell from her lips. It sounded bloody perfect to her.
Josie raised herself up on her tippy toes and finally gave into the wild urge to kiss him.
“I’m sorry I ran out like I did,” she said, when she finally pulled out of the kiss. “I realized I’d fallen in love with you, and I…panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I was an idiot.”
Mack ran his finger along her bottom lip again. “We’ve both been idiots.”
“I do remember pointing that out,” a dry voice said from behind them.
Josie and Mack laughed as they turned to face Sal. “Next time, we’ll listen to you,” Mack said.
Sal rolled her eyes. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”
Josie filled up with a surge of love and happiness. She glanced at Mack; she couldn’t help it. He loved her. They were going to be together.
Sal made juvenile barfing noises, but Josie could tell she was just as thrilled. “Well, go on then, get,” Sal said. “I do believe there are some pages in that book you haven’t completed yet.”
Mack hugged his sister. “You’re the best.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sal said and waved them off.
Josie didn’t need to be told twice and followed Mack eagerly down the hallway and into the privacy of his bedroom.
“So, which page will it be,” Mack murmured as he picked up the book on his bedside table. “Ladies’ choice.”
She shook her head. “No. No page. Just you and me. Face to face. I want to look into your eyes when we make love.” She took the book from him and threw it in the trash bin beside his bed. “No more hanging lotus or leg cramps or need for anti-inflammatories. I want Mr. Nice Guy.”
Mack smiled and opened his arms. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Josie murmured, walking into them gratefully.
His kiss was sweet and slow and tender as he laid her down on the bed. Just like a first kiss should be, and Josie clung to him, giving herself up to the bliss.
She mewed loudly when he pulled out of it seconds later, pushing away from her. “Hang on,” he said. “Just a second.”
He leaned over toward the bin, grabbed hold of the book, and pulled it out. “Nothing wrong with the hanging lotus every now and then, right?”
Josie smiled. “Nothing at all.”
And she dragged him back down into their forever.
The End
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Acknowledgments
I’m thrilled to finally join the exciting Brazen line with one of my very own. I’ve been reading these books since the line started and just love the intense love stories that make Brazen so special. I’d like to thank all the authors who write for the line for their wonderful books that have titillated and inspired me.
Special thanks go to Liz Pelletier and Robin Haseltine who did an amazing job helping me pull this book into shape. NMMNG is much stronger because of their input and it was a pleasure to work with them.
Here’s to many more.
About the Author
Amy is an award-winning, best-selling Aussie author who has written forty+ contemporary romances in both the traditional and digital markets.
She loves her kids, her husband, her dogs, cowboys, men in tool belts, cowboys in tool belts and Happily Ever Afters. Please, do not mess with the HEA! Also good books, fab food, great wine, and frequent travel—preferably all four together.
She lives on acreage on the outskirts of Brisbane with a gorgeous mountain view but secretly wishes it was the hillsides of Tuscany.
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