by D. F. Jones
Ruby laughed. “Girl, you know me too well. I’ve been struggling with this phone call. I had a dream years ago right after we moved into the house on Bell Street. I knew you and Jerry were going to break up. I knew he was going to start dating Rachel. I should’ve told you, but I was told to observe and not to interfere. But when I found out a month ago Jerry was getting married, I knew I had to tell you, but I put it off until now.”
Anna interrupted Ruby and said, “What? Married? You knew we would break up and didn’t tell me? You knew he and Rachel would start dating? Why, Ruby? Why would you keep that from me?”
Ruby blurted out, “I did try to keep you two together without breaking my oath to Seneca. I talked to the two of you. I’m not allowed to interfere with free will. You made your decision, and he made his. I have an awful feeling in my gut this is all wrong. In my dream, I didn’t see Jerry walking down the aisle with Rachel. There’s still time to change the future.”
Anna sucked in her breath as big tears began to well in her eyes. “When?” She closed her eyes. Not Jerry, please God.
Ruby’s voice faltered. “I—I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry. In June, the week before you move home.”
Anna grabbed a tissue from the box of Kleenex on the polished cherry end table next to the couch. She walked into the living area and sat on the couch. “You should’ve told me,” Anna said hatefully.
Ruby snapped back at her, “That’s not fair, and you know it. We talked about the pros and cons of you moving to Florida. Jerry broke up with you before you went to your first class at medical school. You had choices. You made the decision to stay. Did you think you could go away for six years and things around here would stay the same? Jerry was devastated when you moved to Florida. He practically moved in with Reed and me.”
It upset Anna that Ruby was taking up for Jerry. “I did what I thought was best for him and me. Medical school was friggin’ hard. It wouldn’t have been fair to either of us. Hell, Ruby, I just lost a patient today. And now this?”
Ruby’s voice softened. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry about your patient. I’m sorry about my poor timing. You don’t have to explain. I understand, and you have my undying support. Honestly, I didn’t think Jerry and Rachel would last. But to Rachel’s credit, she does seem to be crazy about him. But I know in my heart that Jerry still loves you. I just know it. I had hoped he would call you and tell you. I had to tell you so you would have time to stop it before Jerry ruins his life and Rachel’s.”
Anna shouted, “Me? How in the hell am I supposed to stop it? For years, I’ve tried to see Jerry whenever I came home. I wrote him letters that went unanswered. I left him messages that he never returned. He’s moved on, Ruby. I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe he’s getting married. I guess I thought when I moved home somehow we would end up together, but this isn’t the movies, and we’re all grown up and living separate lives.” Anna sucked in two quick breaths and covered her mouth to hide how hard she was crying. She picked up the remote and threw it across the room, just barely missing the mirror on the wall.
“I don’t mean to take out my anger on you. I’m glad you finally told me. I love you, but I can’t talk right now. I’ll call you later.” Anna hung up before Ruby could reply. She ran to her bed, grabbed her pillow and began to sob. In the back of Anna’s mind, she always thought she and Jerry would get back together. Anna had been a complete and utter fool. She’d been consumed with becoming a doctor. If she was honest with herself, during the grueling years of medical school, she’d completely pushed Jerry to the furthest corners of her mind.
Anna had become a successful physician. Hell, she had offers coming in from all over the Southeast region of the United States. She achieved success, and now Jerry was getting married. It wasn’t his fault. It was hers, but damn it, that news just split her heart wide open with pain.
On a whim, Anna picked up the phone and dialed Jerry’s new number. Ruby gave her his new number a couple of months ago when he moved into his new house. Why hadn’t she called him then?
The phone rang twice, and he answered. “Hello, this is Mac.” Anna frowned. Ugh. Rachel’s dad called him Mac.
“Jerry, are you getting married?” There was dead silence on the line. Anna could hear him breathing. “Jerry, are you still there?”
“Yes, Anna,” Jerry replied quietly.
“Yes, you’re getting married?” Anna wrapped her arms around the pillow and hugged it tightly.
Jerry let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, Anna, I’m getting married.”
Anna’s tears rolled off her face like Niagara Falls. “Do you love Rachel? Do you love her like you used to love me?” She leaned back against her headboard, closed her eyes, and tried to breathe in and out of her mouth slowly. Again, a silence that seemed to last for-friggin’-ever.
Jerry replied rather angrily, “Why in hell are you calling me now? Why? We haven’t dated for six years. I haven’t talked to you in, what, three years, and now you call me?”
Anna’s stomach twisted in knots as memories of Jerry flooded back to her. Those feelings triggered an avalanche of pain rolling down a hill of sorrow. “I tried calling you. I wrote you letters, but you never called back, you never wrote back. You didn’t answer my question, Jerry Douglas McDaniel. Do you love her? Have you stopped loving me? I have no hold on you. I get it. You told me once I belonged to you. You told me never to forget it. Well, I’m still in love with you. I went to school and held you in my heart for six long years. Well, I’m tired of being alone. I need someone to hold me and love me, too. So you be happy, Jerry, and maybe someday I will.” Anna’s breathing was choppy and shallow from crying.
Jerry’s voice was ragged and his breathing heavy. “I never got any letters or phone calls. I thought you’d moved on. Anna, you love medicine a lot more than you love me. Rachel loves me. And I may not love her as I loved you, but it’s real, it’s solid, and it’s dependable.”
Separated by four hundred miles, the air between them charged, as though sparks shot between the phone lines. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand why you didn’t get my letters. Why didn’t you get my messages on your answering machine? Don’t you think that’s odd? And you know exactly why I pursued medicine. It’s the same reason you write code. It’s why you’ve been so successful selling your software. It’s because we’re the chosen. Could you stop developing software or writing binary code?”
His voice softened. “No.”
Anna cradled the phone in her collarbone as tears echoed in the pitch of her voice. “Jerry, I don’t want you to marry her, but if you love Rachel, then I wish you a lifetime of happiness. But for the love of God, if you don’t love her, then please don’t do it. Jerry, please don’t marry her.” Anna curled her fingers around the receiver so tightly they were going numb.
Jerry replied, “I have to go Anna. I’m sorry, I just have to go.” He hung up on her. He effing hung up on her!
Anna threw the phone down, fell back on her bed, and launched into a crying jag that would go on the rest of the night and way into the morning.
* * *
In his kitchen, Jerry stood frozen in total shock from Anna’s call. He closed his eyes and imagined his hand against the curve of her face, feeling the soft warmth against his skin. God help him, he still loved Anna. Over the years, he had learned to live without her. Then Anna called and all that time didn’t matter anymore. Had Anna written and called? What happened to the letters? The messages? It was odd.
Jerry stared outside to the deck on his back porch and wondered. His betrothed, Rachel, sat at their patio table addressing their wedding invitations. Did Rachel delete Anna’s messages and throw away Anna’s letters? Surely not. Rachel loved him, damn it.
Rachel was good to him. Jerry had even gotten used to the idea of marrying her. Rachel would turn thirty soon and wanted kids, so she’d proposed to Jerry. He’d been honest with Rachel. She knew how he felt about Anna. It wouldn’t have been fair
to marry her without her knowing the truth. But Rachel kept pushing him and pushing him, so he finally agreed to marry her. He and Rachel had similar interests, and well, she was a wildcat in bed.
Jerry wanted a family and Rachel was willing to give him one. In real life, you learned to make concessions. He cared for Rachel and loved her in his way. He would be good to her. But he would never love Rachel like he loved Anna. Now, out of the blue, Anna called and begged him not to marry Rachel. He wanted to punch something hard.
Jerry walked through the kitchen door, stepped onto the patio, and kissed the top of Rachel’s head. She smiled up at him, and guilt racked his soul. “Hey, I have to drive out to the farm, and then I’m going to have a beer or two with Reed, okay?”
Rachel stood up, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Sure, hon. Have fun and call me if you drink too much. I’ll come and pick you up.”
Jerry left the house and punched the gas pedal of his truck as soon as he hit Salem Highway. He hit the dashboard several times with his hand. “Damn her. Damn Anna.” He cranked up his cassette tape deck with tunes from Zeppelin. How could talking to Anna for a few minutes put him in such a tailspin? Jerry had asked Anna to marry him—twice.
Memories flooded back to him that had been locked away a long time ago: I will marry you, Jerry. I’ll be back home opening my practice before you know it, and you’ll be a millionaire from selling those software programs of yours.
“Son of a bitch. Why did life have to be so damn complicated?” Jerry drove to his parents’ house. Jessie and Bill were on their houseboat at Centerhill Lake. Jerry strode through the sliding glass doors, went straight to his dad’s liquor cabinet, poured a shot of Crown Royal, and tossed it back without blinking. And then he poured another one.
Jerry picked up the phone and dialed Anna’s number. The phone rang twice and went straight to Anna’s answering machine. His voice was full of angst. “Anna, I just don’t get it. I never got any phone calls or letters. What did you expect I’d do? Wait forever? Now, out of the blue, you decide, oh hey, I’ll call Jerry, and he’ll just stop what he’s doing after six years and come running back to me. Well, life doesn’t work that way, baby.”
Jerry started to hang up when Anna answered. He could hear her sniffle in the background, and suddenly he felt like a total jerk. His stomach did a funny flip. The years melted away, and Anna was back in his arms.
Anna’s breaths were uneven from crying. “I’m sorry, Jerry. It’s all my fault. I should’ve married you when I had the chance. I was selfish. I thought I was doing what was best for both of us.” She paused, and Jerry heard her blow her nose. She said, “I want you to be happy, and if Rachel makes you happy, I’m glad for you. But remember, I’ll always love you.”
Anna stabbed his heart with a knife and twisted it. Jerry kicked the trash can across the kitchen floor and paced back and forth. What should he say? What should he do? Jerry replied, “I’ll always love you, Anna. Always.”
Jerry heard Anna crying again, and before he could say anything else, she said, “Goodbye, Jerry.” Then she hung up.
* * *
Jerry drove straight to Ruby and Reed’s and hopped out of his truck. He strode around to the back of the house. Ruby lounged on her outside chaise, sipping on sweet tea and reading a book. She glanced up and smiled at him, and her smile faded. Jerry scowled at her and pulled a lawn chair up next to her. “Why, Ruby? Why did you have to tell Anna I was getting married?” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
Ruby sat up, straightened her shoulders, and narrowed her eyes at him. “I love you, Jerry. God knows I do. But I love Anna, too, and she deserves to know the truth before she moves back home and finds you married to Rachel. Anna will be moving back here in less than a month to start her practice. I know Reed told you. And besides, I knew you were too chicken to make the call yourself.” Ruby crossed her arms defiantly.
Jerry glared at Ruby, but the wind went out of his sails. He slumped against the back of the chair. “Yeah, I’m a big fat chicken, and she’s my Achilles heel. Anna called me crying, which, by the way, ripped me to shreds.”
Ruby reached over and placed her hand on his thigh. “You want some tea?” She leaned in across the chair, brushed the hair from his forehead, and kissed him there.
“Come on, Ruby Jane, I need something stronger than tea, for crying out loud.” Jerry closed his eyes, and Ruby disappeared inside the house and returned with a cold beer for him.
Ruby sat next to Jerry with her hands on her knees and gave him a pleading look. “Please don’t marry Rachel. You don’t love her. You’ll only end up hurting Rachel and yourself in the long run. Rachel deserves better, and so do you.”
Jerry jumped up and waved his arms all about and shouted at Ruby, “Why shouldn’t I marry Rachel? She loves me, damn it.”
Reed turned the corner of the house after getting home from work, walked in front of Jerry, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Whoa, brother, stop yelling at my woman like that, or I’ll be taking you to the woodshed.”
Exasperated, Jerry said, “I’m sorry, but your woman called Anna and told her I was getting married.” Jerry plopped down hard on the chair and turned up his beer.
Reed leaned over and kissed Ruby soundly on her lips and ran his fingers gingerly down her cheek. “How are you feeling, doll?”
Ruby stood and circled her arms around Reed’s neck, looking into his eyes with adoration. “Honey, I’m fine. I’m just pregnant and the mornings are the worst. I’m sorry if I worried you.” She turned and gave Jerry a big grin.
Jerry’s eyes widened, and he faced Ruby, returning a big grin of his own. “Pregnant? Y’all are going to have a wee little one?” He ran over and pulled Ruby into his arms and gave her a big hug and kiss. “Oh, Ruby, I’m so happy for you.” He turned and hugged Reed and shouted, “I’m going to be an uncle.” Jerry and Ruby weren’t blood, but they were tighter than most brothers and sisters. His eyes watered with happiness for his best friends.
Jerry quickly stepped inside the house and grabbed a beer for Reed out of the fridge. He walked back through the French doors and tossed the beer to Reed. “Here’s to Ruby’s health and a healthy baby.”
Jerry sat down and looked around Ruby’s backyard. Soon, Ruby and Reed would have a child playing back here. He smiled as he pictured a swing with a slide in the back corner of the yard under the old oak tree.
Jerry was envious of the kind of love Ruby and Reed shared. Reed kissed Ruby, and Jerry coughed conspicuously, and they quit kissing. “Ruby said I needed to call off the wedding. What do you think?”
Reed shook his head and smiled at his wife. “Honey, I know you love Jerry and Anna. But this is Jerry’s life, and he has to make his own bad decisions.”
Jerry quickly drank the rest of his beer and placed the empty bottle on the patio table. “Well, on that note, I think it’s time for me to leave. Ruby, tell Anna if you talk to her I’m sorry.”
Chapter 10
On the Dark Side
Anna had been working in the emergency room for almost eighteen hours, and her energy was beginning to wane. It was times like these when she was so bone tired she questioned becoming a doctor at all. During those weakened moments, her thoughts raced wildly about Jerry’s impending marriage. Her feelings were running the gambit between jealousy, hatred, and sorrow.
Amy, the head nurse in the ER, walked over and tapped Anna on the shoulder, which brought Anna back to reality. “Dr. Kelly, there’s an elderly patient in bay five who’s raising hell. Help!” Amy turned swiftly, and Anna followed her to the patient bay.
Anna grabbed the patient’s chart and quickly glanced over her stats. As she walked with Amy to the rowdy patient, Anna said, “Mrs. Appleton in twenty-two needs an EKG, Mr. Williams in fifteen is on the schedule for a CT, and Ms. Underwood in nine is ready for release. But make sure you place in her release instructions that she has to follow up with her doctor in two weeks.”
&n
bsp; The rowdy patient’s name was Gertrude Travis, age eighty-five. Anna stepped over to the edge of the patient’s bed and asked pleasantly, “Now, what seems to be the problem, young lady?”
Ms. Travis bolted upright out of the hospital bed, swung around, and landed a solid punch to Anna’s right eye with the strength of a much younger woman. The patient ripped the IV out of her arm and lunged for Anna’s throat.
The crazed look in the woman’s eyes scared the shit out of Anna. Anna staggered backward and nearly crashed into the workstation behind her. Two techs, Randy and Gator, along with Debby, another nurse, rushed over to help restrain the patient. Anna took a second to gather herself and calmly said, “Give her a five-milligram injection of haloperidol. If that doesn’t help to calm her down, then add fifty milligrams of diphenhydramine and follow with two milligrams of an oral benztropine. We need complete labs on her. Once you have Ms. Travis sedated, send someone to get me in the bunker. I have to place some ice on my eye and rest for a few minutes.”
Nurse Amy made additional notes on the chart before handing the script to Debby, who swiftly turned and ran to fill the order. Amy said, “Dr. Kelly, why don’t you go home? Dr. Forrester is here, and Dr. Chandler just came on shift.” Amy waited for her reply.
The mention of Jack Forrester made Anna nervous. The devastatingly handsome head resident was a constant reminder of what she didn’t have in her life anymore—a man. Jack was an excellent doctor, and she respected his work ethic. But Jack had groupies—residents, med students, and staff who worshiped him.
Anna squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “Amy, I know you’re concerned about me, and I’ll head home as soon as you get me Ms. Travis’s blood work results.” Anna patted Amy on the shoulder and made her way to the bunker.