Dear Mama,
The closer we get to Christmas, the more I miss you. Violet’s boyfriend, Jackson, told me not too long ago that holidays were hard for him, too. His daddy had a heart attack and died last year.
But he told me it made him feel better to think about his daddy in heaven. That God had been the one to decide it was time for his daddy to go home, and even though it was hard for him to understand, he had to trust that was the best plan.
I’m trying really hard to believe that, but sometimes it isn’t easy. I wish God had decided that I needed you more than He did. But I guess it doesn’t work like that.
Maybe someday I’ll understand. But for now, I guess I just have to accept it, even if I don’t completely understand.
Today for the first time, I looked in the mirror and saw you. That was kind of cool. Nana says that you’ll always be with me. Maybe that’s what she meant—that I have a piece of you in me.
I hope I make you proud.
Love,
Shadow
Chapter 30
Shadow Simmons: EVERYTHING IS ALL CLOSED UP FOR THE NIGHT. NO PROBLEMS. NANA SAYS NOT TO WORRY. WHENEVER WE RUN OUT OF CUPCAKES, WE’LL JUST PUT THE SIGN IN THE WINDOW EXPLAINING THAT WE’RE SOLD OUT AND WILL REOPEN ON TUESDAY. (Text message sent December 13, 10:43 p.m.)
Violet Matthews: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HARD WORK AND YOUR HELP! A CHRISTMAS BONUS IS DEFINITELY COMING YOUR WAY. TEXT ME IF YOU NEED ME. (Text message sent December 13, 10:45 p.m.)
Jackson walked out of the hotel hand in hand with Violet. Despite the tension between Violet and her sister, they’d had a nice evening. “So what time do I need to be back tomorrow?” he asked.
“The rehearsal is at six and is scheduled for half an hour. I’m not planning on going to that. The dinner is right afterward. So maybe get here around six fifteen or so? Just call me and I’ll come down and meet you so we can go to the dinner together.”
He pulled her close. “Day one of the wedding extravaganza is over, and you’re still in once piece.”
She smiled. “Barely. And if you weren’t here, I definitely wouldn’t be okay.”
“Good to know.” His heart pounded. He wanted to kiss her again, a real kiss. Off the contract. But he had no idea how she’d feel about that. “I’d better get home. Work tomorrow.”
Violet nodded. “Good night,” she said softly.
He held her for a long moment, relishing the way she fit against him. “See you tomorrow.”
She nodded. “Of course.” Her phone buzzed, and she pulled it out of her purse. The screen lit up the darkness around them. “It’s Reagan.” She looked up at him with a worried expression. “It’s not like her to call so late. I’d better take it.”
He nodded. “See you tomorrow.”
She waved and held the phone up to her ear.
Jackson watched her walk up the path to the hotel. He’d fallen hard for her, and he was pretty sure she had no idea. And he was even less sure about the way she felt about him. He’d caught glimpses of what he thought was genuine interest, but at the same time…he couldn’t be sure until they talked about it.
He climbed in the Range Rover and looked down. Violet had left her overnight bag in the floorboard. She’d need that stuff tonight. He hoisted the bag over his shoulder and hurried toward the hotel.
He heard her before he saw her. She must still be on the phone with Reagan.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I think you should really talk to Chad though. You might be surprised by things.”
Jackson hated to eavesdrop, but he also didn’t want to interrupt. Maybe he should just leave the bag at the hotel desk.
“Okay, stop right there,” Violet said. “If I’m not allowed to judge your relationship, you’re not allowed to judge mine.”
Jackson froze. She was talking about him. About them.
“We’re just friends, nothing more.”
He nearly dropped the bag. He knew that was the party line she was giving Reagan. She’d claimed she couldn’t pretend to Reagan that they were really in a relationship, so she was just telling her they were friends who enjoyed hanging out. Still though, it hurt a little to hear her say they were nothing but friends.
“I’m not falling for him. Stop saying that. Do you really think I’ve forgotten the past so easily? And it isn’t like he has a successful relationship track record. I mean, he’s a mess and you don’t know the half of it. I’d end up getting hurt, and I’ve been hurt plenty of times before. So don’t worry.”
Jackson’s heart fell. Violet knew everything about him. Everything about his past. He’d opened up to her in a way he never had with anyone else.
And he wasn’t good enough. It didn’t matter that he’d changed. That he’d overcome the problems he’d faced in the past and was trying hard to live the kind of life that would make his loved ones proud. But clearly Violet wasn’t proud to be with him.
At least he knew.
Now he wouldn’t make a fool of himself by declaring his feelings. He’d even thought about telling her he was in love with her. That he’d never felt this way about anyone. But hearing what she really thought of him had set him straight.
He took the side entrance to the hotel and left her bag at the desk. “Please leave a message for Violet Matthews and have her pick this up.”
The clerk nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“There you are,” a familiar voice said. “I was looking for you.”
He turned to see Whitney walking toward him. “I thought y’all were headed to a bachelorette party.”
She laughed. “We are. But I thought you might want to hang out first.”
Jackson glanced at the main entrance. Violet would probably be coming through the door any minute. And he had no desire to see her right now. “What did you have in mind?” he asked Whitney.
She smiled. “There’s a little restaurant across the street that’s still open. Want to grab a bite to eat and catch up?”
He looked again at the entrance. Violet must still be outside, bashing him. By now she was probably telling Reagan the real reason they spent time together and what a mistake their arrangement had been. She should really consider theater, though, because she’d had him fooled. “I could go for some food.”
“Excellent.”
He followed Whitney out the side door and ignored the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Violet had made it crystal clear to Reagan there was nothing between them. Which meant everything had been fake. And even worse, all the bad things he’d ever thought about himself were the reasons she’d given for not wanting to be with him. That made it even worse—hearing those same insecurities echoed from the person he cared so much about. “What have you been up to lately?” He turned his attention to Whitney and tried to push Violet from his mind.
“You aren’t going to let this go, are you?” Violet asked, clutching the phone to her ear.
Reagan laughed. “Not when you’re clearly delusional. I know you well. Very well. And you don’t fall for just anyone. I’m just saying…maybe there’s more to Jackson than I thought.”
Violet had tried denying Reagan’s accusations, but she wasn’t getting anywhere. “Fine. Yes, the past couple of months have been pretty amazing. And tonight I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”
“So you admit it.”
Violet groaned. “Yes. I admit it. I have feelings for him. Real feelings. But I’m still a little apprehensive.”
“That’s to be expected. Not only have you had your heart broken, but Jackson has hurt you before.”
“He’s not the same guy he used to be. Not at all.” The Jackson she knew now was kind and sweet. He would never hurt her on purpose. “Besides, the more I’ve learned about him and his life, the more understanding I am about the stuff he did when we were in college. He really is remorseful.”
“I know. Both times I’ve seen him at the bakeshop, I’ve felt like he’s trying hard to redeem himself where you’re concern
ed.”
Violet smiled. “Now I just have to decide how to handle the situation. Do I wait and see if he tells me he has feelings for me? Or do I just tell him? And what if I’m way off base and he only sees me as a friend?”
“If he does, don’t you think you should find out soon before your feelings grow any deeper?” Reagan asked.
“You’re probably right. Maybe I’ll get up the courage soon. Or maybe I’ll just wait and see what happens.”
“I hope everything goes okay. Keep me posted.”
Violet nodded. “I will.” She clicked off the phone and headed back into the hotel. She glanced at her phone. Jackson had had time to get home by now. The past few weeks they’d started texting right before bed. It was weird that he hadn’t sent one.
She scrolled through her messages and chose his name. Just reading back over their texts from the past months made her smile. She quickly sent an “are you home yet?” message to him and waited for his response.
Thirty minutes later, she climbed into bed. He must’ve gone straight to sleep when he got home, but she put her phone on the nightstand next to her bed just in case.
Because now that she’d realized her true feelings, she didn’t want to miss a moment with him.
Chapter 31
Whitney Anderson: LAST NIGHT WAS FUN. MAYBE WE CAN DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME. SEE YOU TONIGHT AT THE REHEARSAL DINNER. (Text message sent December 14, 2:33 p.m.)
Jackson Stratford: I DON’T THINK SO. I WISH YOU THE BEST IN THE FUTURE THOUGH. (Text message sent December 14, 2:39 p.m.)
Jackson had a hard time making it through the workday. Between wondering where he’d gone wrong with Violet and realizing he’d made a huge mistake by going to the restaurant with Whitney, he couldn’t concentrate. He knew Whitney was bad news, but last night he’d been so hurt he wasn’t thinking clearly. Obviously. Otherwise he wouldn’t have done something so rash.
“You okay, Mr. Stratford?” Sheila asked. “You’re not coming down with something are you?”
Just a big case of stupidity. “Nothing a weekend won’t cure.” He smiled. “In fact, I’m about to head out. You can leave early if you want.”
“Thanks,” she said. “Have a great weekend.”
Jackson was pretty sure the odds of his weekend being great were slim to none. Actually less than none, whatever that would be. He took his suit coat from the hook behind his office door and slipped it on.
Violet had sent him a couple of texts today, but he’d just sent back minimal responses. Nothing like the exchanges they’d had during the past few months.
He still couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid as to fall for her. The fake relationship had been his idea. He’d thought it was a no-brainer with no strings.
He certainly hadn’t counted on developing real feelings. And he definitely hadn’t expected to fall in love with her.
Twenty minutes later, he pulled into the hotel parking lot. He pulled out his phone and sent Violet a quick text letting her know he’d be in the lobby.
He walked into the luxurious building and sat down on a surprisingly uncomfortable seat. Just another example of how looks could be deceiving.
“You ready for round two?” Violet asked.
He looked up to see her standing before him. She’d gone all out tonight. Her green cocktail dress was a throwback to the fifties. “You look like you could be Marilyn Monroe’s red-haired sister.”
Violet laughed. “I don’t know about all of that. I suppose this dress is a bit Marilyn inspired.”
Jackson stood. “Let’s get this done.” He offered his arm, and she clutched it. He couldn’t bear to take her hand. Not now. Not knowing how she really felt about him.
“I’m guessing we’ll have assigned seats?” he asked as they reached the ballroom. It was best to keep the conversation as impersonal as possible.
Violet nodded. “Oh yes. My sister loves the idea of telling a room full of people what to do.” She tugged on his arm. “I think we’re going to be seated with my grandparents.”
Once they were seated, she glanced over at him. “I guess you had a busy day, huh?”
He shrugged. “About normal.”
“I just figured since you didn’t text much, it meant you were in meetings and stuff.” Violet gave him a worried look.
Jackson would’ve thought her obvious insecurity would’ve given him some satisfaction. But it didn’t. Instead he just felt sad. “Looks like the rehearsal is over. I see your parents and sister.”
“Let’s get this party started.” She grinned. “I think there’s some kind of video first. Another of Amber’s ideas.” She leaned closer to him. “You know how I hate to be the center of attention? She’s the complete opposite. I fully expect for this to be an hour-long slide show full of as many flattering pictures of Amber as possible.”
Jackson laughed in spite of himself. “Surely not.”
Just as Violet had predicted, the lights flickered in the dining room and a movie flashed on the screen behind where the wedding party sat. “Welcome to the wedding rehearsal dinner of Amber and Landry,” Violet’s dad said from the podium. “We’re thankful you’re here to share in this joyous occasion with us. And now, without further ado, is a video presentation.” Mr. Matthews sat down at the table he shared with his wife and what Jackson assumed were the groom’s parents.
The video flashed a variety of pictures of Amber and Landry at various stages of adolescence. “Look at you,” Jackson said to Violet when her face flashed across the screen. “That’s some big hair.”
“It was a perm. Big mistake.” She shrugged. “It was 1989.”
He chuckled. Maybe they could pull off the fake relationship after all. At least he knew how she felt about him. He could just suffer through, forget about his attraction to her, and they’d be through with each other in less than a month.
The screen went dark signaling the end of the show, but one final shot popped up on the screen like an afterthought.
“What is that?” Violet hissed, gripping his arm.
The shock at seeing his own picture on the screen rendered him speechless. Whitney had held up her phone at the restaurant and taken a self portrait of them. He hadn’t thought another thing about it.
Until now.
“That’s what you were wearing last night,” Violet said in a low voice. “Did you go out with her after you left the hotel?”
Heads began to turn in their direction.
Jackson met the angry eyes of Violet’s grandmother before turning to look at Violet.
“I can explain,” he started.
Violet’s body trembled. There was no explanation needed. She couldn’t even have a fake relationship without being cheated on.
“Hope everyone enjoyed the slide show,” Amber said from the podium. “And in case y’all didn’t know, that last picture was of my maid of honor and my sister’s boyfriend, taken last night.” She shook her head. “Poor Violet. She has a knack for picking the wrong guys, doesn’t she?” Amber turned toward Violet’s table. “Sorry you had to find out like this, Vi, but better now than later, right? Seems that Jackson just couldn’t resist going out with Whitney last night to rekindle their old flame.”
Violet could only watch in horror the train wreck that was her life.
Amber waved at Landry. “I guess they can’t all be keepers like my Landry.” She smiled. “But maybe Violet will be able to move on now that she knows the truth.”
A murmur spread through the room as more heads turned in Violet’s direction. She jumped up. No way was she staying for another second. Without another glance at Jackson, she hurried out of the room.
“Violet, wait!” he called.
She kept going through the lobby and out the door. If she hadn’t had on those stupid high heels, she might’ve run forever. Instead she stopped at a bench outside the building and sat down.
“Please, Violet.” Jackson sat down next to her. “I’m so sorry.”
“How is it that
you’ve managed to publicly humiliate me again, all these years later? And I’m so dumb, I didn’t even see it coming.”
“That isn’t fair. Your sister orchestrated that. She could’ve asked me about it in private, and I would’ve told her she was wrong. But instead she made you a laughingstock.”
Violet shook her head. “She wouldn’t have had any ammunition if not for you. As far as I’m concerned, this is your fault.”
“I overheard you last night on the phone with Reagan.”
She drew her brows together. “What? So now you’re listening in on my phone calls?”
“I came back to give you your bag. I heard you saying all that stuff about me. About how messed up I am. How the whole thing means nothing.” He shrugged. “I guess I figured if you really felt that way about me, you wouldn’t mind if I hung out with Whitney.”
Violet glared. “You had me fooled. You certainly didn’t act like you had any interest in her when we ran into her. But I guess you are a good actor after all, I mean you’ve convinced most everyone we know that you’re crazy about me.” She took a breath. “Did you really end things with her over the summer or have you been seeing her all along?”
Jackson groaned. “When would I have had time to see her? I was too busy helping you move and paint and giving you pep talks.”
She flinched. “I think you should just leave.”
“We need to talk about this.”
Violet shook her head. She was suddenly very tired. “No. We don’t. There’s nothing left to say. You betrayed me. With some girl you used to date who happens to be my sister’s best friend. You know my sister and I don’t get along. Somewhere in the back of your mind, it had to occur to you that going off with her maid of honor might come back to bite you.” She buried her head in her hands for a long moment. There was no way she was giving him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
“Please, Violet. I’m sorry. You have to believe me. Absolutely nothing happened.”
She couldn’t think of a single thing he could say to make this better. “You need to go. And I need to face my family.”
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