by Vivian Wood
“Thanks for the tip,” he said, grabbing her foot again as it reached the top of his thigh, gliding his thumb along the sole.
“Stop it!” she shrieked.
“Okay, okay. No need to freak out,” he said, reaching over and taking a sip from his own tumbler of whiskey. “So, you never told me. Graduation. Your degree was in… ecology?”
“Biology.”
“Close.”
“Well. I mean, I guess they both end in -ology, but that’s about it.”
“So, what’s the plan?” he asked.
“The plan is to get everyone to stop asking me,” she said, finishing her wine with a big swallow. “I don’t know. I mean, on the one hand, I feel like I should go on to veterinary school. I’ve always loved animals. On the other hand, I don’t know if I could handle making a living out of seeing so many of them suffer—I, you know, vets can’t help them all. And the euthanasia, I don’t know if I could ever handle that well.”
“Yeah. That’s… that’s tough.”
“Then there’s a part of me that thinks maybe I should go into the fundraising sector. I don’t necessarily need a master’s for that, and what with Eli’s position and all, it would be pretty easy to get connected with a nonprofit or NGO right away.”
“But do you really want to utilize Eli for your career?” he asked.
“No. That’s the thing. Oh God, Henry, this conversation is a buzzkill.”
“Sorry,” he said.
“You’re down there anyway. Why don’t you just give me a foot massage instead of random tickling attacks?” she asked, somehow lengthening those long, supple legs even more. “Come on,” she said, wiggling her toes at him.
“As tempting as that is, maybe another time,” he said, gently lifting her feet off of him and getting up. “It’s late. I’m just going to go to bed.”
“Okay, old man,” she said. “Don’t want you turning into a pumpkin.”
For the third night, Henry wrestled with images of Ellie as he lay in bed. A few minutes ago, he'd heard her slip into her own room and quietly close the door. What was she doing now? She was nearly naked each night, traipsing about in those little shorts. She probably sleeps naked.
He could almost see her, nearly feel the heat of her body radiating from the room next door. He knew it was foolish, but couldn’t help but wonder if what they said about redheads was true. Were they really that kind of unbridled wild he’d heard about? Did the fire between her legs really match those long locks falling down her back?
Henry squinted his eyes shut, willing them to see Ellie just on the other side of the wall—alabaster skin a stark contrast to the silky slate gray sheets. She was on her back, hair splayed out and covering the entire pillow, knees bent. He imagined how she’d arch her back and run one hand across her breast, urging the nipple to harden, then skim her hand across the other. Pinching her pink nipples gently, rolling them between her fingers, her other hand would start to inch down.
She’d hover that hand at her mound, teasing herself while she tugged lightly on her nipples at the same time. Slowly, she’d slide one finger into her wet folds, spreading her juices across her clit in careful circles. “Henry,” she’d whisper. She wouldn't be able to help herself. She'd have no need to suck on her fingers to slide with ease between her folds, across her clit or to dip into the warmth of her center—she'd be already nearly dripping with juices because she’d been thinking of him.
In his mind’s eye, he watched her bring herself to climax. And yet, as hard as he was, he still never touched himself.
Somewhere in the midst of it all, images of Ellie coming as she moaned his name gave way to sand. It was all he could see for miles, that red dune sand that had a way of getting everywhere. Whether it was Iraq or Afghanistan, he didn’t know. With every tour, the locations blurred together.
But this time was different. He could feel the weight of his body armor plates covering his torso and the pinch of his tactical boots. The enemy was coming after Ellie and Aunt Mary, and his core strike group was nowhere to be found. It was all up to him.
From his peripheral vision, he spotted a target approaching from the side. Does he really think I don’t see him? Holding still, like a lion before an attack, he waited until the last moment, right when the enemy was within grappling distance. With incredible speed, he turned and pinned him to the ground, using all his strength to hold down the person's arms and disable the enemy's lower body with his sheer weight advantage.
“Henry! Henry, stop! What are you doing?”
It was Ellie. The sand was gone, and as Henry took in the room his perspective was off. How did he get on the ground? And why was Ellie underneath him? Is this what I’ve been longing for?
But, no. Ellie appeared seized with absolute terror. Tears were starting to fill her eyes, but she was too scared to even cry properly. Henry froze, then rolled off of her.
Somewhere, there was the ragged breathing of an animal. Oh God, no, that’s me. Why am I so wet? What’s—
He realized he had sweated completely through his boxers. Beside him, Ellie pushed herself off the floor, wary and shaken. “My God, Ellie. I’m sorry. Are you—are you okay?”
“I’m… I’m fine,” she said, brushing her hands down her thighs. “I think I’m fine. Just… might be a little bruised maybe.”
“I’m so sorry, Ellie.” The guilt he’d felt so many times on tour began to wash over him. He could have hurt her, just like he’d hurt so many in war. Probably more than he’d ever realized.
“No, it’s fine. Really. You warned me not to come in. It’s just… I heard these noises. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Ellie, I told you—”
“You were calling for me! You kept saying ‘Ellie’!”
“I—I was?”
“Yes! That’s why I came in.”
“Look, I’m sorry. But I was asleep. I told you not to come in. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“Henry, is everything—”
“Go back to bed, Ellie.”
“Henry!”
“I said go back to bed,” he said, rising up and guiding her out of his room. She didn’t put up much of a fuss, and as he pushed her lower back gently through the doorway, he was reminded of just how small she was compared to him. If he hadn’t woken up when he did, who knows what he might have done to her.
When he heard her door shut, he grimly pulled out the suitcase hidden in the closet. He’d hoped he wouldn’t have to do this, but never left home without them just in case.
His military grade handcuffs hadn’t been used much on tour. However, they'd still been issued, particularly when he started getting into hostage negotiation territory. A few girlfriends had found them over the years and had nearly begged him to dabble in a little kink. He’d always refused. Henry never could understand why so many people thought restraints were a turn-on. For him, they did nothing but remind him of war and the powerlessness that could come with it.
It was a good thing Eli had furnished the cabin with sprawling beds complete with plenty of posts. Henry dutifully cuffed himself to the bed, tightening them as much as possible without cutting off blood flow. He was well-trained in escape tactics, and couldn’t risk his subconscious making a run for it.
The restraints were uncomfortable, just as they should be. It was another reason he’d never indulged any of his romantic interests with their BDSM fantasies—and probably why so many of the restraints at adult shops were covered in fur. When you got down to the bones of the matter, there was nothing sensual or sexy about steel limiting your movement. But for Henry, especially in this snowbound situation, it might be the only thing that could save him.
8
Day five, and Ellie was getting way too keyed up. She’d been wary about Henry ever since the incident. She’d heard about PTSD before, and knew it was common for vets, but she’d never seen it firsthand. As part of her senior capstone project, when she was leaning more toward nonprofit
s than being a veterinarian, she’d been placed at an organization that served a variety of mental health concerns, including PTSD. It made sense, a lingering skeleton from seeing what she could only imagine war included, but it was still worlds away from what she knew.
“Hey,” she said to Henry, sitting down at the kitchen table as he rinsed his coffee mug. “Let’s get out of the house. I’m getting antsy.”
“Out of the house?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder. “We’re snowbound. Or did you forget?”
“No, I didn’t forget. I mean—let’s go outside. Build a snowman, go snowshoeing. Something.”
Henry laughed. It was the first time in days. He’d clearly been avoiding her, yet acting like everything was normal. “I think I’ll take a hard pass on the snowman. But snowshoeing I can do. Getting some exercise is just what we need to work off some… energy.”
“Great, I’ll go find them.”
Snowshoeing had always been an activity she'd done with Eli and Ryan. Sure, she was the youngest, and the only girl, but she’d been a natural at it and her lanky legs helped her keep pace.
“Man, your brothers have some small feet!” Henry joked as he strapped on the snowshoes. Even though they were adjustable, he could barely squeeze in.
“Maybe you just have big feet! Like a puppy,” she said, pulling Eli’s extra thick wool hat over her ears.
“Puppies have normal-sized feet. They just grow into them,” he said.
“Well, maybe you’re still growing.”
“You know these paths, or what used to be paths, well?” he asked.
“Sure,” she said. “Eli and Ryan, they both thought it was good for us, especially me, to spend family time together. Snowshoeing and hiking in these woods was our thing.”
“Yeah, I remember that,” Henry said as they slid across the icy snow. “You all were always up here. I envied that, you know,” he said. “Having brothers. I would have loved to have brothers or sisters.”
“The grass is always greener,” she said with a smile. “I love them, but you don’t know how many times I wished to be an only child! Besides, it seems like you made up for your lack of company. Wasn’t it crazy, being in the Navy? Being stuck on a ship so long with all those guys?”
“You know, it’s not just men in the Navy. Plenty of women, too,” he said.
“Oh, well, pardon me.”
“Besides, I wasn’t just in the Navy, you know. I was a Navy SEAL.”
“What’s the difference?”
“What’s the difference? Seriously, Ellie, you could do with a little education outside ivory walls. SEAL is an acronym for sea, air, and land. It’s where Navy SEALs operate—in other words, everywhere. Although we’re still primarily a water-based force.”
“Oh. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. Most people don’t unless they’re military or family of military.”
“So… you didn’t do the whole Fleet Week thing and all that?”
He laughed. “Fleet Week? That’s what you think the Navy is all about? SEALs are the Navy’s Special Warfare Group, so no, partying from port to port isn’t really in our job description. Not that it’s in anyone’s job description.”
“Hey, us civilians can’t help it,” Ellie said, pointing up a sloping hill for their next turn. “We see the movies and that Fleet Week episode of Sex and the City, and that’s what we get out of it!”
“Well, I did attend one Fleet Week, years ago in New York when I was still in training.”
“And?” Ellie asked. Please don’t tell me about all the girls you hooked up with and how you let them wear your hat.
“And nothing,” Henry shrugged. “It was a bunch of drunk people acting stupid. The food was good, though.”
Ellie rolled her eyes. “You and food,” she said.
“Hey, in Basic, you figure out survival skills you’re good at. Mine was cooking.”
“Thanks to Aunt Mary?”
“Thanks to Aunt Mary.”
“I bet your girlfriends appreciated it,” she said, sneaking a look at him.
“Girlfriends?”
“Yeah, all the Barbies. And… if you have one now…”
“Ellie, I wouldn’t be here if I had a girlfriend now.”
She shrugged. “I was just curious.”
“No girlfriend for a while now—partially because of what you saw the other night.”
“PTSD doesn’t mean you can’t have a girlfriend,” she said. Stop it, you sound like you’re trying to negotiate with him.
“Maybe for me it does,” he said. “But what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Come on. Recent college grad, gorgeous sorority girl—besides that little time with the dumb kid you were dating, you must have been having a blast.”
Ellie laughed. “You have a funny idea about who I am.”
“I don’t know who you are,” he said. “That’s what I’ve realized these past few days. But I’d like to.”
“Well, there’s not much to know,” she said. “I was actually the philanthropy chair of my sorority. It’s not like I was the social chair or president. I spent most of my time studying.”
“Really, Ellie? Are you really going to tell me you went away to college and spent all your time holed up in the library?”
“Wow, okay!” she said. “Nobody studies in the library anymore. College kids have their own laptops now. I mean, there were some fun times. A group of us drove down to Miami for spring break my freshman year.”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Henry said with a smile.
“Don’t get so excited! None of us had fake IDs, and we were all seventeen or eighteen. Contrary to what people think, those bars are really vigilant about making sure you’re legal, especially on spring break.”
“So… no wet T-shirt contests, random hookups, anything like that?”
“Ha! No, sorry to disappoint,” she said. “One of my friends did the wet T-shirt thing, but it was gross. Not like how the movies make it look. It was just in a supermarket parking lot, most of the girls were drunk, and a lot of the guys watching were actually middle-aged locals.”
“Well, did your friend win at least?” he asked.
“No! She came in fourth. But the ‘prize’ was just a twenty dollar gift card to a local coffee shop, so it’s not like she missed out on much.”
“Yeah. I never did spring break myself, either. I mean, I got my college degrees in the Navy, so I didn’t get the whole college experience at all. But I don’t feel like I missed out on anything.”
“You didn’t,” Ellie said. “I’m thankful for my experience at Georgetown, but it’s like it was just a window of time to grow up a little more. I imagine you do it a lot faster in the military.”
“Perhaps,” Henry said. “Although I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. And what about Sean?” he asked. “Isn’t college romance a big part of the whole experience?”
“It’s supposed to be, right?” she asked. “But with Sean… well, there’s not much of a social life when you’re coupled up. All the parties and everything, there’s just kind of a damper on them when you’re there with your boyfriend. Our friends were cool about it, and of course we had friends that were couples too, but it still takes you out of the whole dynamic of what you think college is supposed to be.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Henry said. “But really now. Men must be kicking down your door trying to date you—Sean or not,” he said.
“Wow, you really don’t know me!” she said. “Yeah, with two big brothers, a guy would need some pretty impressive balls to kick down my door. And now they’d have to fight through a snowbound mountain to a remote cabin!”
“But what about that idiot, Sean? How did he pass the Eli and Ryan barricade?”
“Oh, that was different. They didn’t really care because they thought he was harmless. And I was—nevermind,” she said. Stupid! You can’t tell Henry you’re still a virgin at twenty-two.
>
“Don’t nevermind me,” Henry said, nudging her. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing, seriously!” she said. A tiny itch wiggled its way into her nose. “They just thought he was safe, that’s all.”
“Well, maybe our president’s instincts aren’t as sharp as we thought,” he said with a smile.
Ellie couldn’t hold it in anymore and let out a sneeze. “Sorry,” she said.
“Bless you. Are you coming down with something?”
“No, I doubt it. Probably just allergies.”
“It’s the middle of winter. What are you allergic to? The cold?”
“Oh, who knows. You know, many allergies have a tendency to come on later in life—”
“Okay, Ms. Biology Major.”
“Let’s turn around,” she said. “I’m getting tired. And you’re getting too nosy!”
Even though the return to the cabin was mostly downhill, it felt like they were walking for miles. Every step required tremendous balance and strength. Ellie’s knees started to ache, and that pounding traveled up her entire body to nestle in her head.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Henry asked. “You don’t look very good.”
“Thanks, Henry,” she said. “I’m fine. I’m just really tired.”
When the cabin finally came into sight, she could feel her nose was stuffy and almost completely blocked. “Go change into something warm for once,” Henry said. “I’ll make some hot chocolate for you.”
“Yeah, you don’t have to tell me,” Ellie said. Luckily, she had packed the fleece pajama set Eli had given her last Christmas. Usually she thought it was too hot and restrictive, but now it was just what she wanted.
Changing clothes had never been so taxing. Every movement demanded all of her attention. By the time she’d made it downstairs and to the couch, chills were racing through her body and she was battling nausea.
“Wow, Ellie, you really don’t look good. Do you have a fever?” he asked, setting down the mug of steaming hot chocolate.
“I don’t know.”