CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Trina
Trina poured a cup of hot coffee and sat down at the kitchen counter. She stifled a yawn of her own. Sam being extra restless last night only added to her insomnia. After what went down last night, there was no way she was sleeping well under any circumstance.
Tyler called early to see how things with Sam were. She wasn’t in a great mood, but she knew Tyler, of all people, would understand.
“Sam’s still sleeping. He had a rough night.” She yawned again. “And so did I. He did lots of tossing and turning. I thought he might, you know, without the pain pills. I’m surprised he even slept.”
“Tri, I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around this. Was he okay… with what happened? I was concerned how things would be after you got home. I mean… I didn’t know how he’d be. I don’t know what I’m even trying to say. I felt bad about it all. We were just as shocked as you when they pulled him out of the line-up. As far as we knew, he was a game-time decision, and Coach already determined that he’d be in. But rules are rules, and if he still has a concussion or even post-concussion symptoms, he can’t be out on the ice. It’s too dangerous.”
“I know.” Rob had come to see Trina while socializing in the room with some other wives and kids waiting for the game to start. He asked her what she knew about Sam’s symptoms and the meds he’d been taking, and then gave her a head’s up about Sam’s situation. There was no good way for them to explain why Sam was being scratched from the game, other than telling her the truth.
When she and Sam got home, she went looking for his pills. She was shocked and still couldn’t believe what Rob had told her, and assumed she’d only find his migraine pills in the drawer. But there they were. The Oxycodone pills.
After she had been quiet too long, Tyler broke the silence. “Tri, are you okay?”
“Honestly, I don’t even know the answer to that. I want to be supportive. What that means, I don’t really know. But isn’t that my role as his wife?”
“That I can’t answer. I mean, I would hope Paige would stand by me if I was in this position, but I also imagine she’d kick my ass for not only being stupid, but risking everything—my welfare as well as our future. Tri, you know how hockey players think. You’ve been around this all your life. You’ve seen me play sick, and you’ve seen me try to play injured. I think you should just be grateful they caught it when they did. It could’ve been worse, but it wasn’t.” Tyler took a breath, but continued before she could say anything. “Look, if he starts being as ass, just let him. Don’t take it too personally, but if I need to come beat him down, let me know. He can be mad, but he can’t treat you poorly. I won’t let him. I know how much he loves you, sis, but take care of you and Willow first. We’re here if you need us, or if you want to come over. Just say the word.”
What did he mean by that? Take care of me and Willow first. “I don’t foresee you having to keep him in line, but I will keep it in mind. Thanks, Ty.” Sam wasn’t an asshole; he was generally laid back. She couldn’t imagine him getting in her face. Especially after how he was last night, sad and sorry. Willow’s voice carried through the baby monitor. “Oh, sounds like someone’s awake. I better go get her before she makes too much noise. But thanks, Ty. I’ll be sure to call on you guys if I need you.”
Trina hung up the phone and stood up from the counter, turning quickly. The sudden motion caused the room to spin, because dizziness took her over, and she found herself on her butt back in the chair.
The dizzy spell only lasted a minute. She wasn’t feeling well at all this morning, and this was the second dizzy spell since she’d crawled out of bed. She hadn’t slept much at all, so feeling terrible wasn’t a shock to her. Maybe it’s all the stress. Who wouldn’t be affected by it? When she climbed the stairs, she had to take a break halfway up. Her stomach flopped, and sourness rose in her throat.
She hadn’t eaten yet this morning. Maybe that was it. Stress, no sleep, and no food. Bad combination. Taking a deep breath, she kept moving. She had a daughter who was counting on her. No matter how bad she felt, she needed to be strong for Willow.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Sam
Sam closed his eyes in the dark bedroom. He balanced on the edge of the bed, holding his head. The dogs ran around, their nails clicking against the linoleum floor. Every little sound made pain shoot through his skull, and his head pounded. Even the sound of Trina’s chewing. She’s gnawing on a fucking carrot stick in the bedroom. What the hell? And why is she always eating lately, anyway?
Every crunch made him cringe. “Fuck,” he whisper-groaned. His stomach tossed, as the intense pain created nausea.
Toby dog barked, sending stabs of pain shattering his skull, followed by a female voice doing her best to quiet the dog. Paige was downstairs in the living room with Willow, playing. The little screams and coos of joy from his sweet daughter bit through his skull like sharp daggers.
Belle pushed her way into the bedroom, and her paws clicked against the floor. Her cold, wet nose pushed against his arm. He loved his dog, but even her concerned whining shot through his brain. Nausea traveled up into his throat.
“Belle,” he growled, making the dog jump. “Go downstairs. Get!” Even his own yell made his head throb.
The dejected dog walked slowly out of the room with her tail dragging, instead of her usual happy gallop through the house.
“Did you take your headache medicine the doctor prescribed?” Trina asked meekly from across the room, obviously aware of his discomfort.
His brain responded with a kind “yes,” but the words that came spilling out of his mouth were harsh and nasty. “What do you think?”
Tri took a slow step backwards. Her head lowered as she slunk towards the door. “Get some rest… I love you,” she sadly whispered, before closing the door behind her.
Obviously, he had made her feel like shit. Sam didn’t mean to hurt her, but he had no control over what was coming out of his mouth. It was as though the pain had taken over. Even with his vicious response, even if he was hurting her, Trina was still caring. He felt like a dick doing so, but the pain that shattered his skull with every little noise was so intense that all other thoughts vanished.
The cooing and laughing shrieks turned into high-pitched screams. He cringed at his own baby’s cries, while heat seared though his veins. Willow continued to cry, and even putting a pillow over his head didn’t help muffle it.
What is wrong with me? This isn’t right. I’m not right.
He had never planned on being nasty to Trina. She was his best friend, lover, and soul mate. He would never speak to her like that. His brain seemed to be hijacked by the pain or was on overload. Either way, it was backfiring. As soon as the words snarled from his lips, the pain on her face had made him recoil. But he couldn’t change what had already happened.
Willow’s crying continued way too long. Curling up into a ball, hoping to ease the stabbing pain in his skull, he grasped at his burning brain. “Why is she fucking crying still?”
Jumping up from the bed, slightly dizzy as he did so, he stormed across the floor. Swinging the door open, he rushed to the balcony overlooking the living room. Glaring down at his family, he couldn’t stop what came out of his mouth next. “What don’t you understand about quiet?”
Tri rushed up the stairs to meet him, cuddling a screaming Willow in her arms. Tears streamed down the toddler’s cheeks as she wailed. “I’m so sorry, babe.” Tri rocked side to side, trying to quiet the child.
His poor wife looked exhausted. Her hair was up in a ponytail now, and strands had pulled out randomly. “Go back to bed. Willow can’t help it. I think she has an ear infection. I can’t get her in to the doctor until the morning, and I thought having her downstairs would be less noisy for you than keeping her in her room.”
The words crossed his lips before he had time to even filter them. “Outside would be even better.” He shook his head at his own crass words. Why
would I say that about my own daughter? My little girl? This pain has turned me into such a dick.
But then another blood curdling scream pierced his brain. Closing his eyes, all he saw was red. “For the love of all things fucking holy. Can’t you stop her from screaming?”
Trina took a heavy breath. Tears filled her far away eyes, and her cheeks grew pink. She bounced with Willow on her shoulder, patting Willow’s back in the comforting way moms do. “Sam, babe, I love you. I really do. But…get out.”
“Excuse me?” Clearly, he had not heard her correctly. This was his house too. How dare she?
She squared off her shoulders and cleared her throat. “You heard me.”
“Trina?” he begged, but unfortunately it came out as a bark.
“I’m taking Willow and going over to Paige and Tyler’s house. When we get back, I want you gone.” She sadly turned to leave, but paused. Tears fell down her cheeks. “Sam, I love you with all of my heart. And I know this isn’t you. But you’re being unbearable. I can’t live like this, and I refuse to put Willow through this… Just… Please get better.”
“But…”
Trina looked up at him one last time. “Like I said, I’m taking Willow to my brother’s. You need to be gone when we get back. Please, go find help. Call Rob. He’ll know what to do. But you can’t stay here. I’m sorry.”
She shut the bedroom door, and that was the last he saw of her.
Rushing around with stabbing pains running though his brain, he was so nauseous that he thought he might throw up. As soon as he’d tossed some clothes into a bag, along with a toothbrush and hair brush, he ran out the front door, not knowing where he was even going to go.
Trina was going over Tyler’s, so that wasn’t an option. As it was, he was shocked that Paige hadn’t come up to kick his ass. Sam was limited to where he could go for some kind of shelter. Trina was close with so many of the wives, and he didn’t want to make this even harder on her than he already was. He never meant to hurt her. He’d never hurt her intentionally. Shit wasn’t right in his head, and the pain was turning him into an asshole.
That summed it up. He was an asshole. A total asshole.
His head pounded. Sam just wanted the pain to stop. Tightening his hand around his keys, he jumped into his car and sped aimlessly down the street. After an hour of driving in circles, he just wanted to go to sleep and get rid of the pain.
It was no longer just pain in his head. It was screaming and sirens, and loud rushing sounds that made him want to bash his head against the wall if it would make them go away.
He just wanted them to stop.
The sleeping pills he had were approved by the team doctor, so they were okay to take. He’d give anything just to sleep right now. Pulling into a housing complex parking lot, he shifted the car into park, turned off the engine, and swallowed two pills, the exact dosage on the bottle.
It was cold outside, but by some grace of a divine power, it wasn’t bad for winter in Pittsburgh. Yeah, there was still snow on the ground, but it was warm enough for now that it was wet and melting. He nestled into his jacket, wrapped his hands in gloves, and pulled a scarf around his neck that Trina had left lying on her seat. He’d be fine here for a few hours. Then when it was a decent hour, he’d go see if Luc was home.
Sleep came on quickly. In one moment of clarity, he tried looking around in the dark. This might be Luc’s place, but he couldn’t be sure in the shadows. He’d verify in the morning, then maybe see if he could stay there.
Waking up with a shiver, bright sunlight in his face, and the sound of cars driving by, Sam yawned and took inventory of his surroundings. He recalled driving around aimlessly after having a fight with Trina. She ultimately had thrown him out. This was all like a bad dream ending in a hangover.
He remembered everything. He was an asshole.
It was dumb luck that he ended up at Luc’s townhouse. The sports car, sitting a few spots away from where he had hunkered down for the night, told him he was in the right place. That intense pain in his head last night had him in the equivalent of a drunken stupor. He was thankful he made it this far.
He knew Luc better than some of the other younger guys, and he was in too much pain, and too tired, to keep searching for a place to stay. It was a better option than sleeping in his car again.
Knocking on Luc’s door, he realized he had no plan as to what he was going to say, and hoped Luc wouldn’t make him explain. He and Trina were supposed to be the perfect couple. They kind of had been perfect—until now.
Thinking about his wife made him miss her more and want to kick himself in the nuts for treating her the way he had. All she wanted to do was to be there for him and help him though this. Not to mention, poor little Willow was sick, and he hadn’t even been sympathetic. The thought of his tiny daughter crying in pain made his chest ache. He needed to get his head on straight, then beg Trina for forgiveness and hope he hadn’t fucked this up too badly.
“Did you get kicked out?” Luc studied him carefully. His voice cracked as if he was joking, but the way he squinted his eyes, Sam knew it was more of a serious question than a joke.
Luc was in the same get up as Sam would wear to bed; more than likely, he’d gotten Luc out of bed. Guess there was no practice this morning.
“Hell, no. Are you serious, dude? Nah.” He shook his head in the most convincing way he knew. No one needed to know his business. But he was pretty sure Luc would figure it out, regardless of what he said. “Willow has an ear infection or something, and she’s screaming non-stop. It’s super annoying, and with my current headache, I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. There was no quiet place in my whole damn house. Then the dogs started howling at her crying, and it was a goddamn mess. I had to get out of there. Trina doesn’t understand how bad it hurts my head when Willow cries like that.”
Luc stood quietly, with his arms crossed and head tilted.
“Did you want to call her and ask her to verify my story?” Sam snapped at Luc, before holding out his cell phone in his teammate’s direction. “Do I need a note from her or something?”
Luc put his hands up in front of him, not taking the phone, but pushing it back at Sam. “Woah, not questioning you, bro. And no, I’m not going to call Trina. You’re welcome to stay here if you want. It’s quiet, at least.”
“No bunnies? ’Cause I’m not dealing with that shit right now.”
“No bunnies this morning.” Luc motioned around his place. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll make sure there are no bunnies while you’re here, if that’s what you want. Okay?”
Sam had a bad feeling about this young gun. The last thing he needed was to get caught in an unintentional, compromising position with a bunny. He was already in the doghouse with Tri as it was. Maybe this is a bad idea. “You know what? I can’t deal with your bunny-den here, so maybe I’ll go see if I can stay with Kaden for a few days.”
“Surfer-boy, has that bleach sunk all the way to your brain?”
“I don’t bleach my hair…” Sam grumbled, not even close to being amused.
“Whatever. You do realize that Kaden and Ali are expecting their little one, like, within the month, right? You think Willow’s screams are bad? Imagine being there after that baby is born. I hear babies cry a lot. They cry when they’re hungry, wet, and especially when they’re tired. Hell, I think they even cry when they’re happy!”
“You know a lot about goddamn babies for a ladies’ man. Did you hook up with a bunny that has a kid or something?” His comments were harsh, even if he didn’t mean them to be.
“Dude, don’t be an asshole to me just because your lady tossed you out on your ass. Shit, with that fucking attitude, I might’ve done the same thing if I were her.” Luc pulled back and looked over Sam for a moment before saying more. “Anyway, Kaden talks a lot about the books he’s been reading on newborns. But I’m not stupid. I know that newborns cry more than older kids like Ian.”
Sam hadn’t even though
t about Kaden’s home situation. Maybe he could stay with Kris just for a night. Ian was a little older than Willow and didn’t cry at night anymore… but that little guy liked to play. All the time. Sam would just be an overgrown playmate for Ian. And he was in no mood for Legos or Hot Wheels. “Never mind. I’ll just grab a room down at the hotel.”
“Morris, I’m not saying you can’t stay here. If you want to, I have a spare room, and it’s yours. I’ll keep the bunnies at bay while you’re here. Unless you and Tri are having issues. Then you may want to—”
Luc had to go there. What the fuck is this guy’s problem? “Shut your damn mouth, asshole. I love my wife. Okay? I just need a fucking break from it all!” He wasn’t going to deal with this young gun questioning him. Who does he think he is? What does he know about anything? He’s always screwing whatever piece of ass comes his way, in whatever city we’re in. He isn’t an expert when it comes to relationships.
Cringing at the pain that was shooting through his head, Sam grabbed on to the door jamb to steady his balance. He needed to relax, and fast. “Don’t worry about it.” Snatching up his bag, he walked out of Luc’s townhouse, leaving the guy going on about something behind him. He growled. “I said, don’t fucking worry about it.”
Before he could storm away, Luc put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. “Morris. Seriously, man, are you okay?”
As he turned to face his teammate, his temper was festering again. He couldn’t help it. The pain had a mind of its own. It was turning him into something he hated. “What the fuck are you talking about? Besides the fact that my head is throbbing like a motherfucker, I’m fine. Peachy. Just fucking wonderful.”
“I mean are you okay? You don’t seem like yourself, Sam. You’re usually a nice guy. Not the prick that you’re acting like. Maybe you should call the doc and have him check you out. Man, I’m worried about you.”
Sam had gotten closer with Luc than some of the guys had. But he wasn’t in the mood to deal with this shit. Shaking Luc off, Sam wasn’t interested in what he had to say. I’m perfectly fine, except that I can’t stand the sound of my own baby girl crying.
Blindsided: Renegades 7 (The Renegades Series) Page 13