by Lindsey Hart
Cam went cold inside. A violent chill ripped up his spine. He didn’t know what prompted Sarah to tell him any of this. His heart ached for her because he knew exactly what it was like to grow up rough. Even his hatred for her brother waned just a little at her admission. “I’m sorry,” he said uselessly.
Sarah shrugged. “Yah well… Trace knew what would happen. He was fifteen and I was thirteen. He knew we would be sent into the system and probably even separated. I begged him not to let them take him away from me as well. I’d already lost everything. He took me and we disappeared. We packed a backpack each and took what food we could carry. Trace found us a hole in the wall apartment. The landlord didn’t care who he was renting to.” Sarah shuddered visibly. “It was the kind of place that resembled all nine shades of hell. Drug addicts, prostitutes, gangs. It wasn’t long before Trace found a job. I have no idea what he did. I knew he was running with gangs, doing stuff for them but I didn’t ask him. I couldn’t bear knowing. He made sure that I went to school though. It was as rough as the place we lived and it made me tough. We changed our names. He got us fake ID’s from somewhere. He changed his age. He became eighteen so he could legally look after me. No one could come for us then.”
Cam’s mouth fell open and he quickly shut it. “So your name isn’t really Sarah Redden?”
“It is now. Sarah Redden is who I am. My name before that was Amelia Pathwick. Quiet. Unassuming. I don’t even know who that girl is any longer.” Sarah blinked quickly but when she looked back up at him her eyes were dry. “Trace made sure I was able to graduate. He made sure I was able to go to college and get a legal, legitimate job. He gave up everything, all his dreams, to look after me. He became a man at fifteen.”
Cam swallowed hard. “So you think I shouldn’t be so hard on him?”
“I’ll leave it up to you what you think. I’m just trying to be honest with you so that you can see that Trace isn’t so different from you.” She glanced down, studying the bubbles lapping around her shoulders as though they held the secrets to the mysteries of the world.
Cam bristled. He didn’t want to believe he was anything like Trace Redden. “I did grow up rough and I did care for my sister but I’m not like your brother. My father shipped out right after Veronica was born. My mother had always been a functioning alcoholic before that but caring for us, trying to support us by working three jobs- it was all the working that killed her. She drank more. Binged more often. Passed out at night and barely woke in the morning to do it all again. I remember one night I came home and she had passed out with a lit cigarette. I don’t know why, I just knew that she wasn’t going to last much longer. She drank herself to death. Choked on her own vomit. I was nineteen. Veronica was nine. We had nothing and I was frantic to support her, but right from the start everything I did was legit.”
Sarah’s blonde brow arched. “Does that matter?”
“To me it did. I vowed that one day we wouldn’t live in a slum apartment with bugs in the bed and on the walls and floors and in the food. We wouldn’t hear the neighbors screaming and yelling, kids crying, things breaking. I was always good at numbers. Math was the only thing in school I ever was half decent at. I turned to gambling because I could figure the odds. I thought about doing it professionally for a while but I didn’t want to be on the other side of risk. I wanted to be the risk. I borrowed money from a loan shark and set myself up. There was no shortage of people I knew who needed loans. People are always desperate for money. I had a set clientele before I even started. I paid that loan back within a month and borrowed more. I paid that back even faster.”
“And the rest, as they say, is history.” Sarah gave a sardonic smile as she waved a sudsy hand in the air.
Cam’s stomach clenched when he realized she was mocking him. He jumped to his own defense. “I really did want to help people. I know what you’ve heard and what you’ve read about me but it’s not true. I’ve never hurt a single person. One of my men broke some guy’s finger once and the stories spiralled out of control from there.”
“Why did you let them if they weren’t true?”
“In my line of business, stories like that make sure your loans are paid back. Threats and intimidation never really harm anyone but they do ensure you stay in business. I’ve taken property but then again, so does the bank. I’ve never taken anything unjustly. People know the risks. I’m no different than any money lender. What is put up for collateral I expect to have if that person can’t make the repayment terms of their loan.”
“Well isn’t that sweet? The bank of Cameron Spade?” Sarah was still smiling but her voice was hard.
Cam ground his teeth so hard his jaw locked. He was not going to rise to her baiting. It was what she wanted. “I’ve forgiven more debt than you can imagine. I’ve lent more money to people who couldn’t pay me back when they truly needed it. I have given people the opportunity they need to get out from the bottom and better themselves. I’ve given money to people who show real promise to get an education. I don’t expect repayment. I’ve supported small businesses that banks wouldn’t dare touch. I have tried to do good things for people, whether you believe it or not.”
Those honeyed eyes blinked in disbelief. “Why doesn’t anyone know about that then?”
He allowed himself a self-depreciating grin. “I wouldn’t be a very scary loan shark if people knew about the good that I tried to do. Like I said, you only stay in this business if people are afraid of you. I’m very careful about who I lend to. It ensures I can recoup my losses. The people who can’t pay me back and need a little intimidating are few and far between. Usually I just send my guys over and they raise their voice and make threats and it’s enough to ensure repayment eventually although sometimes I just have to write it off. People keep their peace about that when it happens. Again, threats and intimidation go a long way.”
“So why are you telling me this?”
Why indeed? “I… thought if I was honest with you perhaps you might be honest with me. You told me about how you grew up so that I could try and understand your brother. I know that’s your slant. You don’t have to bother to hide it.” Sarah’s face fell. Cam didn’t know why he wanted to reassure her. It half infuriated him that it killed him to see her upset. “I just want to know why you need ten million dollars. Maybe then I can help you.”
Her brow furrowed again. “So you told me all of this about yourself so that I could see that perhaps you would help me.” She shifted again, sitting upright in the tub. The bubbles lapped against her creamy shoulders leaving wet, foamy marks. “I could never ask you for a loan. I could never hope to pay it back. I’m a school counselor. At least I was before you took me. Hopefully I don’t lose my job since I rather liked it.”
Cam tensed. He hadn’t even thought about how he would change Sarah’s life by kidnapping her; how he might even ruin it. And now he’d done the unthinkable and taken her down on that beach because he’d snapped. He hadn’t had a thread of self-control left. He should never have kissed her. It all stemmed from that one, burning kiss that he had not been able to deny himself.
“I’m sorry,” he said. His voice was softer and contained more feeling than even he knew was possible. “I never meant to ruin your life.”
Sarah leaned forward. She moved slowly, with feline grace. He didn’t stop her careful advance. She wrapped her arms around his neck and straddled his waist. “Yes you did,” she whispered. He wasn’t entirely shocked when she bent her head and kissed him.
The fires of desire that he dismissed as a weakness, roared back with the fury of a freight train. He was utterly powerless against the startling heady sensations that threatened to bring him to his knees. He realized that Sarah herself was far more dangerous than that knife she’d held to his throat. He should have stopped her, should have walled himself off and kept her at a safe distance but he didn’t. Instead his hands closed around her shoulders and he kissed her back with all the passion contained within a heart that w
asn’t quite so black, or as dead, as he thought it was.
CHAPTER 9
The ceiling in Cam’s room was thatched differently than hers. Perhaps it was the play of light and shadow. Sarah wasn’t sure. She lay on her back, staring up at the roof. She didn’t even bother trying to sleep. Sometimes she could. Sometimes she couldn’t. It didn’t bother her either way. Lying in Cam’s bed, listing to his deep, even breaths was oddly comforting. That very fact unsettled her.
She glanced to the side, at Cam’s sleeping face. His features lost their hard look when he was at rest. He was almost… serene. Who would have thought that the black hearted Cam Spade was little more than a puppy, as eager for scraps of affection and love as any normal person?
She had him right where she wanted him. He was sweet, almost docile. He was even fun. The days she spent on the island evaporated into a haze of passion, laughter and… joy. She was shocked to find that the light, bubbly feeling in her chest was happiness. She was happy. Nearly three weeks on a deserted island with Cameron Spade had turned her into the same, soft puppy that he was.
Her plan to seduce Cam to get what she wanted was paying off. The only problem with a wicked plan was that it could only work if she was wicked. Her heart, which was supposed to be hard and cold, was anything but.
Sarah shifted and slid silently out of bed. She moved to the window where she stared at the moon. Its reflected silver glow danced on the ocean waters beyond the swaying trees. She breathed in, filling her lungs with the warm, fragrant air.
This was probably as close to heaven as she was ever going to get. It turned out she was no harder or colder than Cam himself truly was. She was just a flesh and blood woman. A woman who melted into his arms, who longed for him and desired him. A woman who cared for him.
Sarah blinked hard against the sting of tears. She didn’t love Cam. It was far too soon to bandy about that ridiculous word, but there was something between them. Whatever it was it was sweet, delicious, dangerous and utterly heartbreaking. Caring for Cam ultimately meant she had to betray her brother. If she cared for Cam she couldn’t deceive him or hurt him yet if she didn’t, her brother’s life was ultimately at risk.
She turned away from the window, utterly lost. Her clothing, one of Cam’s t-shirts and a pair of his shorts that she’d altered with a few stitches here and there so at least they stayed on, lay in a pile on the floor where she’d shed them in her eagerness to join Cam in bed. Her cheeks flushed hotly as she pulled them on.
She needed to get out of this room, out of this house, in order to think. The warm night breeze and the ocean’s gentle waves called to her.
She stole out of the house, quiet, so she wouldn’t wake Cam. It only took her a few minutes to reach the beach. She walked down the strip of white sand, studying the moon and stars.
When she reached the edge of the sand, she sat. Her eyes traversed the horizon. It seemed endless. If only life was really that way. If only people didn’t die before their time. If only mothers didn’t leave their children. If only the brother she loved so much wasn’t sick.
She closed her eyes and imagined herself and Cam in another time, another world. Who knew what was possible? Maybe they had shared a past life and the connection she felt wasn’t as irrational as she thought. She smiled at the thought of her desire stemming from a passionate love affair in another century.
Sarah’s eyes lit on the sailboat that was moored to the small dock off to the left. It extended out far into the water, where the bottom gave way and the boat’s bottom didn’t touch the sand. She knew nothing about boats and even less about swimming. Growing up in Chicago she hadn’t exactly had a need to learn.
Cam had taken her out sailing one afternoon. He’d shown her how the boat worked. He made it look so easy and effortless. He’d explained everything and laughed at her face when he told her one day even she could do it.
The breeze intensified, whipping past her face and tangling her hair. No matter how strong the wind was on the island it was always warm. Not like back home. The wind was bitter more often than not. It howled and tore right through a person.
The sailboat rocked gently against the dock. The white sails sagged where they were tied down. She imagined freeing them and soaring over the ocean, completely free, the wind in her hair, on her face, fresh in her lungs.
The idea came to her so quickly she almost discounted it. Sarah shook her head to rid herself of the wild plan. The thought couldn’t even be called a plan. It was just a wild notion that was as bad as any she’d ever dreamed up. The longer she sat on the beach, the stronger the wind became. She leaned into its unseen hands. She felt the invitation and the draw of the ocean; the draw of freedom.
She had to leave. If she could get away from Cam then her brother still had a fighting chance. She didn’t want to hurt anyone and she knew the secret she harboured would do just that. Can would lose all faith in her and it would be over. Not that she thought he would ever want to see her after this anyway. She knew whatever it was that had sprung up between them came from the island’s romantic setting. She and Cam were two lonely souls who found solace in each other. It could never be more than that.
Sarah slowly rose to her feet. She stared at the boat. Cam had said it was so easy even she could do it. All she had to do was unfurl those sails and the wind would do the rest. He’d shown her how to steer and navigate. Her mind recalled what he’d told her when she’d first arrived at the island. That the nearest island was miles away. Miles, not centuries. Surely, she could make it. She had to. It was her shot at ensuring that Trace had at getting the life he deserved so badly. She would do anything for him. He was the only family she had left.
CHAPTER 10
Cam started awake. Something was wrong. He sensed it immediately. A cold band of panic gripped his chest. He was drenched in sweat.
His eyes flew to Sarah’s side of the bed. Oh my god. Her side. He couldn’t think of it like that. No, it was just the side of the bed she slept on. Whatever it was, it was empty. She wasn’t there.
Cam pushed back the sodden sheet, sticky with his sweat. He couldn’t remember dreaming. The night wasn’t overly warm. He must have had a nightmare. He couldn’t explain the cold sheen of sweat otherwise.
He ran a trembling hand through his dark hair. He paused. Why the hell was he shaking?
The silence of the house was almost deafening. Nothing seemed amiss and yet… where was Sarah? Had she gone back to her own room?
Cam climbed out of bed. He walked silently to the large window and stared out at the ocean beyond. The wind was blowing harder than normal. Palm fronds waved wildly and the ocean’s waves crashed hard onto the beach. They left silvery trails of wet sand in the wake of their fury.
Was a storm coming? He squinted and blinked to clear the last vestiges of sleep from his grainy eyes. The night was quickly fading, giving way to the bleak greyness that signalled a splendid sunrise. His eyes swept the horizon and that’s when he saw it.
A white spec, tossing and turning like a toy boat on the violent ocean. Oh no. His eyes flew to the docking area and it was as empty as he thought it would be. The boat was gone.
You stupid woman. You stupid, stupid woman. Cam rushed over to his discarded clothes and threw on his boxers in a hurry. He knew he couldn’t waste a single moment. Of all the stupid things anyone had ever done, this was the worst. Why did she do it? Why now? In the morning, in a few short hours, he was going to tell her that she was free. He had selfishly yearned for one more night with her. This was the cost of indulging his heart.
Cam ran straight to the beach. He froze at the water’s edge. All he could do was watch helplessly as the boat was pulled further West where he knew an underwater reef to be. It was silent and hidden and as dangerous and deadly as any unseen enemy.
He could do nothing at all to keep the boat from striking that reef. The most horrifying part of all was that he actually heard the sickening crunch of the impact.
The boat wa
s small. It was going to sink. He knew that for a fact. He was utterly helpless. The ocean’s waves were as furious as he had ever seen them. They would pull that boat under in a matter of minutes.
Sarah. Oh god, she can’t swim.
Bile rose in the back of Cam’s throat. There was only one thing he could do. It was fool hardy and stupid to even think he could reach her, especially when he’d be swimming against the fury of the ocean itself. He had to try.
He made a split-second decision. He knew that if he lost Sarah he was going to lose a part of himself. He didn’t know how the hell that could be but it was the truth.
He ran straight into the water, plunging himself below the surface. He swam hard, his powerful strokes carrying him towards the rapidly sinking ship. He watched it flounder as he struggled to keep the crashing waves from pouring down his throat. He would never have made it half as far as he did if he hadn’t been a strong swimmer. His arms and legs burned, his lungs burned. His entire body ached with exhaustion yet he forced himself forward. It was the only direction he could go.
He struggled against the churning waters as he neared the reef. The boat was on its side, barely above water. He saw her then, the frightened shape huddled up, desperate and fearful to stay afloat the wreck as the waves pummeled it mercilessly.
“Sarah!” Cam yelled. Her head whipped around and when she saw him struggling towards the ruined boat her eyes widened with shock.
“Cam!” She didn’t move. There wasn’t anywhere to go. Her eyes stayed locked on his face the entire time he swam. He finally made it to the listing boat. He gripped onto anything he could find in utter desperation and weariness.