‘No!’ roared Tarvin.
‘Ah, but it is! Marriage is that way. It is right. Marriage means that — to be absorbed into another’s life: to live your own, not as your own but another’s. It is a good life. It’s a woman’s life. I can like it; I can believe in it. But I can’t see myself in it. A woman gives the whole of herself in marriage — in all happy marriages. I haven’t the whole of myself to give. It belongs to something else. And I couldn’t offer you a part it is all the best men give to women, but from a woman it would do no man any good.’
‘You mean that you have the choice between giving up your work and giving up me, and that the last is easiest.’
‘I don’t say that; but suppose I did, would it be so strange? Be honest, Nick. Suppose I asked you to give up the centre and meaning of your life? Suppose I asked you to give up your work? And suppose I offered in exchange — marriage! No, no!’ She shook her head. ‘Marriage is good; but what man would pay that price for it?’
‘My dearest girl, isn’t that just the opportunity of women?’
‘The opportunity of the happy women — yes; but it isn’t given to every one to see marriage like that. Even for women there is more than one kind of devotion.’
‘Oh, look here, Kate! A man isn’t an Orphan Asylum or a Home for the Friendless. You take him too seriously. You talk as if you had to make him your leading charity, and give up everything to the business. Of course you have to pretend something of the kind at the start, but in practice you only have to eat a few dinners, attend a semi-annual board meeting, and a strawberry festival or two to keep the thing going. It’s just a general agreement to drink your coffee with a man in the morning, and be somewhere around, not too far from the fire, in not too ugly a dress, when he comes home in the evening. Come! It’s an easy contract. Try me, Kate, and you’ll see how simple I’ll make it for you. I know about the other things. I understand well enough that you would never care for a life which didn’t allow you to make a lot of people happy besides your husband. I recognise that. I begin with it. And I say that’s just what I want. You have a talent for making folks happy. Well, I secure you on a special agreement to make me happy, and after you’ve attended to that, I want you to sail in and make the whole world bloom with your kindness. And you’ll do it, too. Confound it, Kate, we’ll do it! No one knows how good two people could be if they formed a syndicate and made a business of it. It hasn’t been tried. Try it with me! O Kate, I love you, I need you, and if you’ll let me, I’ll make a life for you!’
‘I know, Nick, you would be kind. You would do all that a man can do. But it isn’t the man who makes marriages happy or possible; it’s the woman, and it must be. I should either do my part and shirk the other, and then I should be miserable; or I should shirk you and be more miserable. Either way such happiness is not for me.’
Tarvin’s hand found the Naulahka within his breast, and clutched it tight. Strength seemed to go out of it into him — strength to restrain himself from losing all by a dozen savage words.
‘Kate, my girl,’ he said quietly, ‘we haven’t time to conjure dangers. We have to face a real one. You are not safe here. I can’t leave you in this place, and I’ve got to go. That is why I ask you to marry me at once.’
‘But I fear nothing. Who would harm me?’
‘Sitabhai,’ he answered grimly. ‘But what difference does it make? I tell you, you are not safe. Be sure that I know.’
‘And you?’
‘Oh, I don’t count.’
‘The truth, Nick!’ she demanded.
‘Well, I always said that there was nothing like the climate of Topaz.’
‘You mean you are in danger — great danger, perhaps.’
‘Sitabhai isn’t going round hunting for ways to save my precious life, that’s a fact.’ He smiled at her.
‘Then you must go away at once; you mustn’t lose an hour. O Nick, you won’t wait!’
‘That’s what I say. I can do without Rhatore; but I can’t do without you. You must come.’
‘Do you mean that if I don’t you will stay?’ she asked desperately.
‘No; that would be a threat. I mean I’ll wait for you.’ His eyes laughed at her.
‘Nick, is this because of what I asked you to do?’ she demanded suddenly.
‘You didn’t ask me,’ he defended.
‘Then it is, and I am much to blame.’
‘What, because I spoke to the King? My dear girl, that isn’t more than the introductory walkaround of this circus. Don’t run away with any question of responsibility. The only thing you are responsible for at this moment is to run with me — flee, vamoose, get out! Your life isn’t worth an hour’s purchase here. I’m convinced of that. And mine isn’t worth a minute’s.’
‘You see what a situation you put me in,’ she said accusingly.
‘I don’t put you in it; but I offer you a simple solution.’
‘Yourself!’
‘Well, yes; I said it was simple. I don’t claim it’s brilliant. Almost any one could do more for you; and there are millions of better men, but there isn’t one who could love you better. O Kate, Kate,’ he cried, rising, ‘trust yourself to my love, and I’ll back myself against the world to make you happy.’
‘No, no,’ she exclaimed eagerly; ‘you must go away.’
He shook his head. ‘I can’t leave you. Ask that of some one else. Do you suppose a man who loves you can abandon you in this desert wilderness to take your chances? Do you suppose any man could do that? Kate, my darling, come with me. You torment me, you kill me, by forcing me to allow you a single moment out of my sight. I tell you, you are in imminent, deadly peril. You won’t stay, knowing that. Surely you won’t sacrifice your life for these creatures.’
‘Yes,’ she cried, rising, with the uplifted look on her face. ‘Yes! If it is good to live for them, it is good to die for them. I do not believe my life is necessary; but if it is necessary, that too!’
Tarvin gazed at her, baffled, disheartened, at a loss. ‘And you won’t come?’
‘I can’t. Good-bye, Nick. It’s the end.’
He took her hand. ‘Good afternoon,’ he responded. ‘It’s end enough for today.’
She pursued him anxiously with her eye as he turned away; suddenly she started after him. ‘But you will go?’
‘Go! No! No!’ he shouted. ‘I’ll stay now if I have to organise a standing army, declare myself king, and hold the rest-house as the seat of government. Go!’
She put forth a detaining, despairing hand, but he was gone.
Kate returned to the little Maharaj Kunwar, who had been allowed to lighten his convalescence by bringing down from the palace a number of his toys and pets. She sat down by the side of the bed, and cried for a long time silently.
‘What is it, Miss Kate?’ asked the Prince, after he had watched her for some minutes, wondering. ‘Indeed, I am quite well now, so there is nothing to cry for. When I go back to the palace I will tell my father all that you have done for me, and he will give you a village. We Rajputs do not forget.’
‘It’s not that, Lalji,’ she said, stooping over him, drying her tear-stained eyes.
‘Then my father will give you two villages. No one must cry when I am getting well, for I am a king’s son. Where is Moti? I want him to sit upon a chair.’
Kate rose obediently, and began to call for the Maharaj Kunwar’s latest pet — a little grey monkey, with a gold collar, who wandered at liberty through the house and garden, and at night did his best to win a place for himself by the young Prince’s side. He answered the call from the boughs of a tree in the garden, where he was arguing with the wild parrots, and entered the room, crooning softly in the monkey tongue.
‘Come here, little Hanuman,’ said the Prince, raising one hand. The monkey bounded to his side. ‘I have heard of a king,’ said the Prince, playing with his golden collar, ‘who spent three lakhs in marrying two monkeys. Moti, wouldst thou like a wife? No, no — a gold collar i
s enough for thee. We will spend our three lakhs in marrying Miss Kate to Tarvin Sahib, when we get well, and thou shalt dance at the wedding.’ He was speaking in the vernacular, but Kate understood too well the coupling of her name with Tarvin’s.
‘Don’t, Lalji, don’t!’
‘Why not, Kate? Why, even I am married.’
‘Yes, Yes. But it is different. Kate would rather you didn’t, Lalji.’
‘Very well,’ answered the Maharaj, with a pout. ‘Now I am only a little child. When I am well I will be a king again, and no one can refuse my gifts. Listen. Those are my father’s trumpets. He is coming to see me.’
A bugle call sounded in the distance. There was a clattering of horses’ feet, and a little later the Maharajah’s carriage and escort thundered up to the door of the missionary’s house. Kate looked anxiously to see if the noise irritated her young charge; but his eyes brightened, his nostrils quivered, and he whispered, as his hand tightened on the hilt of the sword always by his side —
‘That is very good! My father has brought all his sowars.’
Before Kate could rise, Mr. Estes had ushered the Maharajah into the room, which was dwarfed by his bulk and by the bravery of his presence. He had been assisting at a review of his bodyguard, and came therefore in his full uniform as commander-inchief of the army of the State, which was no mean affair. The Maharaj Kunwar ran his eyes delightedly up and down the august figure of his father, beginning with the polished gold-spurred jack-boots, and ascending to the snowy-white doeskin breeches, the tunic blazing with gold, and the diamonds of the Order of the Star of India, ending with the saffron turban and its nodding emerald aigrette. The King drew off his gauntlets and shook hands cordially with Kate. After an orgy it was noticeable that his Highness became more civilised.
‘And is the child well?’ he asked. ‘They told me that it was a little fever, and I, too, have had some fever.’
‘The Prince’s trouble was much worse than that, I am afraid, Maharajah Sahib,’ said Kate.
‘Ah, little one,’ said the King, bending over his son very tenderly, and speaking in the vernacular, ‘this is the fault of eating too much.’
‘Nay, father, I did not eat, and I am quite well.’
Kate stood at the head of the bed stroking the boy’s hair.
‘How many troops paraded this morning.’
‘Both squadrons, my General,’ answered the father, his eye lighting with pride. ‘Thou art all a Rajput, my son.’
‘And my escort — where were they?’
‘With Pertab Singh’s troop. They led the charge at the end of the fight.’
‘By the Sacred Horse,’ said the Maharaj Kunwar, ‘they shall lead in true fight one day. Shall they not, my father? Thou on the right flank, and I on the left.’
‘Even so. But to do these things, a prince must not be ill, and he must learn many things.’
‘I know,’ returned the Prince reflectively. ‘My father, I have lain here some nights, thinking. Am I a little child?’ He looked at Kate a minute, and whispered, ‘I would speak to my father. Let no one come in.’
Kate left the room quickly, with a backward smile at the boy, and the King seated himself by the bed.
‘No, I am not a little child,’ said the Prince.
‘In five years I shall be a man, and many men will obey me. But how shall I know the right or the wrong in giving an order?’
‘It is necessary to learn many things,’ repeated the Maharajah vaguely.
‘Yes, I have thought of that lying here in the dark,’ said the Prince. ‘And it is in my mind that these things are not all learned within the walls of the palace, or from women. My father, let me go away to learn how to be a prince!’
‘But whither wouldst thou go? Surely my kingdom is thy home, beloved.’
‘I know, I know,’ returned the boy. ‘And I will come back again, but do not let me be a laughing-stock to the other princes. At the wedding the Rawut of Bunnaul mocked me because my school-books were not as many as his.’ And he is only the son of an ennobled lord. He is without ancestry. But he has been up and down Rajputana as far as Delhi and Agra, ay, and Abu; and he is in the upper class of the Princes’ School at Ajmir. Father, all the sons of the kings go there. They do not play with the women; they ride with men. And the air and the water are good at Ajmir. And I should like to go!’
The face of the Maharajah grew troubled, for the boy was very dear to him.
‘But an evil might befall thee, Lalji. Think again.’
‘I have thought,’ responded the Prince. ‘What evil can come to me under the charge of the Englishmen there? The Rawut of Bunnaul told me that I should have my own rooms, my own servants, and my own stables, like the other princes — and that I should be much considered there.’
‘Yes,’ said the King soothingly. ‘We be children of the sun — thou and I, my Prince.’
‘Then it concerns me to be as learned and as strong and as valiant as the best of my race. Father, I am sick of running about the rooms of the women, of listening to my mother, and to the singing of the dance girls; and they are always pressing their kisses on me. Let me go to Ajmir. Let me go to the Princes’ School. And in a year, even in a year — so says the Rawut of Bunnaul — I shall be fit to lead my escort, as a King should lead them. Is it a promise, my father?’
‘When thou art well,’ answered the Maharajah, ‘we will speak of it again — not as a father to a child, but as a man to a man.’
The Maharaj Kunwar’s eyes grew bright with pleasure. ‘That is good,’ he said — ’as a man to a man.’
The Maharajah fondled him in his arms for a few minutes, and told him the small news of the palace — such things as would interest a little boy. Then he said laughing, ‘Have I your leave to go?’
‘Oh! my father!’ The Prince buried his head in his father’s beard and threw his arms around him. The Maharajah disengaged himself gently, and as gently went out into the verandah. Before Kate returned he had disappeared in a cloud of dust and a flourish of trumpets. As he was going, a messenger came to the house bearing a grasswoven basket, piled high with shaddock, banana, and pomegranate — emerald, gold, and copper, which he laid at Kate’s feet, saying, ‘It is a present from the Queen.’
The little Prince within heard the voice, and cried joyfully, ‘Kate, my mother has sent you those. Are they big fruits? Oh, give me a pomegranate,’ he begged as she came back into his room. ‘I have tasted none since last winter.’
Kate set the basket on the table, and the Prince’s mood changed. He wanted pomeranate sherbet, and Kate must mix the sugar and the milk and the syrup and the plump red seeds. Kate left the room for an instant to get a glass, and it occurred to Moti, who had been foiled in an attempt to appropriate the Prince’s emeralds, and had hidden under the bed, to steal forth and seize upon a ripe banana. Knowing well that the Maharaj Kunwar could not move, Moti paid no attention to his voice, but settled himself deliberately on his haunches, chose his banana, stripped off the skin with his little black fingers, grinned at the Prince, and began to eat.
‘Very well, Moti,’ said the Maharaj Kunwar, in the vernacular; ‘Kate says you are not a god, but only a little grey monkey, and I think so too. When she comes back you will be beaten, Hanuman.’
Moti had half eaten the banana when Kate returned, but he did not try to escape. She cuffed the marauder lightly, and he fell over on his side.
‘Why, Lalji, what’s the matter with Moti?’ she asked, regarding the monkey curiously.
‘He has been stealing, and now I suppose he is playing dead man. Hit him!’
Kate bent over the limp little body; but there was no need to chastise Mod. He was dead.
She turned pale, and, rising, took the basket of fruit quickly to her nostrils, and sniffed delicately at it. A faint, sweet, cloying odour rose from the brilliant pile. It was overpowering. She set the basket down, putting her hand to her head. The odour dizzied her.
‘Well?’ said the Prince, w
ho could not see his dead pet. ‘I want my sherbet.’
‘The fruit is not quite good, I’m afraid, Lalji,’ she said, with an effort. As she spoke she tossed into the garden, through the open window, the uneaten fragment of the banana that Mod had clasped so closely to his wicked little breast.
A parrot swooped down on the morsel instantly from the trees, and took it back to his perch in the branches. It was done before Kate, still unsteadied, could make a motion to stop it, and a moment later a little ball of green feathers fell from the covert of leaves, and the parrot also lay dead on the ground.
‘No, the fruit is not good,’ she said mechanically, her eyes wide with terror, and her face blanched. Her thoughts leaped to Tarvin. Ah, the warnings and the entreaties that she had put from her! He had said she was not safe. Was he not right? The awful subtlety of the danger in which she stood was a thing to shake a stronger woman than she. From where would it come next? Out of what covert might it not leap The very air might be poisoned. She scarcely dared to breathe.
The audacity of the attack daunted her as much as its design. If this might be done in open day, under cover of friendship, immediately after the visit of the King, what might not the gipsy in the palace dare next? She and the Maharaj Kunwar were under the same roof; if Tarvin was right in supposing that Sitabhai could wish her harm, the fruit was evidently intended for them both. She shuddered to think how she herself might have given the fruit to the Maharaj innocently.
The Prince turned in his bed and regarded Kate. ‘You are not well?’ he asked, with grave politeness. ‘Then do not trouble about the sherbet. Give me Moti to play with.’
‘O Lalji! Lalji!’ cried Kate, tottering to the bed. She dropped beside the boy, cast her arms defendingly about him, and burst into tears.
‘You have cried twice,’ said the Prince, watching her heaving shoulders curiously. ‘I shall tell Tarvin Sahib.’
The word smote Kate’s heart, and filled her with a bitter and fruitless longing. Oh, for a moment of the sure and saving strength she had just rejected! Where was he? she asked herself reproachfully. What had happened to the man she had sent from her to take the chances of life and death in this awful land?
Complete Works of Rudyard Kipling (Illustrated) Page 43