The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes

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The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes Page 21

by Jennifer Crusie


  She was shuddering with cold now, feeling dizzy and sick in the heat of the day, chilled in the sun, not sure what had just happened.

  Something’s wrong, she thought and put the hoodie on and headed for the tattoo parlor.

  * * *

  ‘A butterfly,’ Mare said to Mother ten minutes later as she handed her the drawing, still shivering, and now really annoyed about everything. ‘And I don’t want to hear any crap about how it’s the most common tat for a girl. My name’s Mariposa and I want another butterfly.’ She felt like pouting, life was so unfair. Pouting and shivering and throwing up. ‘It’s cold in here.’

  ‘Feeling testy, are we?’ Mother said, straightening her white lab coat. She looked at Mare strangely, her cool gray eyes level under her neatly razor-cut gray hair, and Mare took a deep breath and relaxed a little. ‘That’s better’

  ‘Well, it was either a butterfly or the Statue of Liberty.’ Mare dropped her bag in the middle of the floor and stepped over it. ‘I think of her as a kindred spirit.’

  ‘She stands in one place holding a light for everybody else,’ Mother said, picking up Mare’s bag and moving it to one side. ‘How is she like you?’

  ‘She’s tall, everybody knows who she is, she’s a classy dresser, and nobody kicks her around.’ Mare hiked up her skirt and sat down with her back to Mother. And in moments of stress, I could beat somebody senseless with that big torch.’

  ‘Of course,’ Mother said, looking at Mare’s Corpse Bride dress. ‘Where do you want this tattoo?’

  ‘Right there at the base of my spine. Only tilt it. Like the world’s tilting.’ The world felt like it was tilting. She really was going to throw up if Mother didn’t get a move on.

  ‘Trailer trash license plate.’ Mother tucked the skirt of Mare’s dress into the neck of the hoodie and then held the drawing up. ‘Very buff butterfly.’ She put it on the copier and punched the button.

  ‘Yeah,’ Mare said, trying to sound chipper as the copier hummed and her stomach churned. ‘I’m surrounded by jerks. I need a butterfly that can kick a little ass on my ass.

  Jesus, it’s cold in here.’ Her skin felt damp, clammy, and she shivered again.

  ‘Color?’ Mother said.

  ‘Just black,’ Mare said. ‘If I wanted color, I’d have said color, okay?’

  Mother put her hands on her hips and looked at her, as if something was wrong or something.

  ‘I’m broke, okay?’ Mare said, looking away. ‘Plus, I like tribal. More butch.’

  ‘Yes, the world needs more butch butterflies.’ Mother snapped on latex gloves and picked up a razor. Anything happen today I should know about?’

  ‘There’d be a hell of a lot fewer victims if butterflies went armed,’ Mare said, and then Lizzie came into the back of the shop hugging herself and shivering and said, ‘Mare?’ in this tiny little voice, and Mother looked up from shaving Mare’s tailbone.

  ‘Mother, this is my sister Lizzie,’ Mare said. ‘Lizzie, this is Mother. What’s wrong with you?’

  ‘Hello, Lizzie,’ Mother said. ‘Lovely to meet you.’

  ‘You, too,’ Lizzie said, shivering hard, her voice breaking, and Mare realized she was close to tears.

  What a wimp, Mare thought and sighed. ‘What happened now?’

  ‘He’s gone.’

  ‘Charles?’ Mare said. ‘Well, yeah, I told you, he’s in Alaska. And good riddance-’

  ‘Elric,’ Lizzie said, and sat down on the floor in a heap, her arms crossed over her chest. ‘My heart hurts.’

  ‘Oh, okay,’ Mare said. Drama queen. We’re gonna be ass deep in rabbits here in a minute. ‘Deep breaths.’ She shivered as Mother spread cream on her lower back and then smoothed the drawing over it. She was really cold, dammit. And her stomach hurt, probably got ptomaine at the Fork. ‘So what did Elric say when you asked him if he knew Xan?’

  ‘He said yes.’ Lizzie made a little aching sound in her throat. ‘He said yes.’

  ‘Well,’ Mare said. ‘Points for honesty. Did he say what he was supposed to do? Like wrap us up and deliver us or something? Because I just met her-’

  ‘No. He came because I was screwing up… things.’ Lizzie began to rock back and forth. ‘My heart really hurts.’

  ‘Yeah, I know, I got a stomachache.’ Mare looked over her shoulder to see Mother studying the transfer on her tailbone. ‘How we doing?’

  I’m doing fine,’ Mother said and handed her a mirror. ‘Your sister is sick. Doesn’t that bother you?’

  ‘She gets like this.’ Mare gave the mirror a perfunctory glance. ‘Great.’ She handed the mirror back to Mother. ‘He said you’re screwing up things,’ she prompted Lizzie.

  ‘I was doing things against the rules.’

  ‘The rules.’

  Lizzie leaned forward. ‘Of the universe,’ she whispered, her face pale and damp.

  ‘Oh.’ Mare thought about telling her that rules were for the little people, but given the scope of Lizzie’s powers, that could lead to mushroom clouds and planet-sized charcoal briquettes, so she said, ‘So did he help you?’

  ‘Yes,’ Lizzie said, almost sobbing, ‘but then I told him to go and he did.’ She curled up and lay down on Mother’s floor in the fetal position, still rocking.

  ‘Quitter’ Mare sucked in her breath as she heard the hum and felt the bite of Mother’s needle. She shivered and her stomach turned over again. ‘Oh, sit up, Lizzie, he’ll be back. He’s your true love. Xan sent him.’

  ‘I know,’ Lizzie, still in the fetal position, said, her voice breaking. ‘She told me.’

  ‘She talked to you, too?’ Mare felt disappointed. That was no good, Xan wasn’t supposed to talk to anybody else, only to her, because she was special. ‘She told me we could be normal if we wanted to. Ouch.’ She looked over her shoulder. ‘Hey.’

  ‘You want painless tattoos, get a rub-on,’ Mother said serenely.

  ‘She told me to sacrifice anything for true love,’ Lizzie said, tears leaking from her eyes, the big baby. ‘She said Elric’s love was worth anything, even my power. I thought I didn’t want my power, but ever since Elric’s been here I’ve been changing my mind, and now I can’t even think straight…’

  Mare frowned at her and jerked her head toward Mother, who appeared to be oblivious. ‘Shhhh,’ she said to Lizzie, but Lizzie just kept rocking and shivering.

  Well, Mother was keeping it damn near freezing in there, so no wonder.

  ‘Is there a reason you have the air-conditioning on “frigid”?’ she snapped at Mother.

  Mother turned the needle off. ‘I think I’ll make some tea.’

  ‘Or you could just turn the goddamned air-conditioning down,’ Mare said and went over to do it herself.

  It was off.

  ‘What the fuck?’ Mare said, and then her stomach roiled again and she pressed her arms against it. The door opened.

  ‘Xan’s here,’ Dee said, sounding like Eeyore as she closed the door behind her. I’m really confused. But I think we have to go. No, I know we have to go. God, my head hurts.’

  ‘I don’t want to go.’ Mare crossed her arms over her stomach tighter, both for warmth and to block Dee.

  Dee started pacing. ‘You don’t understand,’ she said, rubbing her forehead. ‘She killed Mom and Dad. It was an accident, she said, she was just trying to take their powers to help them, but she killed them. She says she knows how to do it right this time, but I’m afraid.’

  ‘I don’t care, I’m not going, don’t care what you say, not going,’ Mare singsonged, shivering.

  All right, that’s it,’ Dee said, walking faster, her voice rising to a thin whine. ‘I have a headache, I’m freezing, and I’m tired of saving your ungrateful ass. Do I always have to make the decisions in this family? A little help would be nice for a change. But that’s fine. I’ll save you – again - and damn well drag you along.’

  Mare leaned forward. ‘Make me. I dare you. Make me.’

  Lizzie started to cry.<
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  ‘You know, it’s not enough that I have given up my life for you,’ Dee said, ‘and now I’ve lost Danny-’

  ‘How could you lose Danny?’ Mare pulled back, determined not to feel sorry for her. ‘You just found Danny’

  Dee ignored Mother, who was bringing in a tray of tea things, and dropped into the chair next to where Lizzie was curled up on the floor. ‘Danny’s going to hate me when he finds out. He hates people with powers and he’s going to hate me.’ She scrubbed at her face with both hands. ‘Maybe I should just give Xan my powers. So what if she kills me.’

  ‘Well, that’s the first thing we’ve agreed on,’ Mare said. ‘Not the killing part, but the powers part. I talked to her and thought the same thing. Sure would make life easier.’

  ‘I think my heart is breaking,’ Lizzie said from the floor, and Dee looked down and saw her and got to her feet.

  ‘How long has she been like that?’ she said to Mare, suddenly sounding frightened.

  ‘Couple minutes,’ Mare said. ‘You know Lizzie. There should be bunnies any time now.’ She looked around and felt a chill that had nothing to do with her lowered body temperature. ‘Wait a minute. Why aren’t there bunnies?

  Dee was on her knees beside Lizzie, gathering her up into her arms. ‘It’s all right, baby, it’s all right, I’m here, it’s all right. I’ll take care of you.’

  ‘I’m so cold,’ Lizzie said to her. And my heart is breaking.’

  ‘What’s wrong with her?’ Mare said, dropping to the floor beside Dee, really frightened now. ‘What’s wrong with her?’

  ‘Xan,’ Dee said, holding Lizzie tightly against her, as if to wrap her in warmth. ‘That’s what Mama said right before she died, when Xan took her power’ She met Mare’s eyes over Lizzie’s bright curls. ‘She was cold and shivering and rocking like this and that’s what she said and then she died.’

  ‘You’re cold, too,’ Mare said, putting her arms around them both. And so am I. I was cold after I left Xan. What did she do to us?’

  Mother put the tea tray down on the floor beside them: a teapot, three cups, and a plateful of cookies covered in sugar. ‘Eat. You need sugar.’

  ‘Sugar’s going to take care of this?’ Dee said, incredulous, as Mare tightened her arms around all of them for warmth.

  ‘Cookies, just like the ones they give you after you give blood,’ Mother said cheerfully. ‘Instant energy’

  ‘We didn’t give blood,’ Mare said.

  ‘Oh,’ Mother said and left them alone.

  Dee looked stricken. ‘What did Xan do? Did she touch you? She took my hand. She twisted my fingers with hers. And she was holding Mama’s hand the same way right before…’ She turned to Lizzie. ‘Did she touch you?’ She looked at Mare.

  Mare nodded. ‘Yeah. She did. Just like that. That twisting thing.’

  ‘She took our power,’ Dee said, still rocking Lizzie. ‘I know you think Xan’s my nightmare in the closet, but she took our power.’

  ‘No, I believe you, I’m with you now.’ Mare picked up a cup and held it to Lizzie’s lips. ‘Drink, Lizzie.’

  Lizzie sipped and made a face. ‘Too sweet.’

  ‘Drink it anyway, baby’ Dee said, and Lizzie did, sipping at first and then gulping, and when Lizzie was done, Mare gave Dee a cup, too, and then picked up the third cup and drained it.

  ‘Did Xan take all our power?’ Mare said, and then answered her question by lifting the needle off Mother’s tray from across the room. ‘Still got that.’ She tried for her bag, much heavier, and couldn’t budge it. ‘She took part of it. A pint. Like at the blood bank, she took some off the top. What was she doing?’ She picked up a cookie as if it were a life source and chomped her way through it.

  ‘Maybe she didn’t have time,’ Dee said, sipping and rocking. ‘We’d have noticed if she’d taken more. We’d have fought. But if she finds a way to take it all…’

  ‘I become a spoiled brat forever,’ Mare said, and called out, ‘I’m sorry I was rude, Mother’ She picked up the teapot and filled everybody’s cup again. ‘Tea. Cookies. Eat. Drink.’

  ‘And I become the most annoying victim on the planet,’ Dee said, her voice already stronger. And Lizzie…’

  They both looked at Lizzie, gulping her second cup of tea as if it were a lifeline.

  Lizzie curls up and dies just like Mama, Mare thought. We’d all die.

  ‘You three feeling better?’ Mother said, coming back in. ‘I’ve turned up the heat.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Mare said.

  ‘You shouldn’t give blood when you’re not feeling well,’ Mother said. ‘I’ll fill in the black on your tattoo now’

  Mare thought about saying, ‘You know damn well we didn’t give blood,’ but if Mother was rewinding to normal, that worked for her. She got up and sat down on the chair again, feeling the chill abate. It really was like giving blood, she thought. Probably in a couple of hours, she’d have built her power back up again. As long as nobody came along and sucked more off. Or took too much. Like her mother. Xan had taken too much from her mother. Dee had been right all along.

  Any fascination Mare had for Xan died on the instant. Lizzie pulled away and reached for another cookie, and Dee took a deep breath. ‘We need to think. We need to work this out. Xan wants our powers, and she has a plan and the guys have something to do with it. But I think she’s telling the truth about them being our true loves.’

  ‘She thinks she made a mistake with Jude,’ Mare said. ‘And I have to agree there.’

  ‘I think we have to go back to the guys and ask them about it,’ Dee said. ‘Tell them what just happened and ask them. If they really do love us, they’ll tell us the truth.’

  ‘Elric loves me,’ Lizzie said, sounding stronger. ‘He left me, but he loves me. When he finds out what she did…’

  Mare frowned. ‘Jude doesn’t love me, but I bet he knows something.’

  ‘Can you seduce it out of him?’ Dee said.

  ‘No, but I can beat it out of him,’ Mare said, looking over her shoulder as Mother filled in her tattoo.

  Lizzie watched her finish.

  ‘What’s it look like, Liz?’ Mare said when she was done.

  ‘Like you,’ Lizzie said. ‘Like a warrior’ Her color was back, her hands were no longer shaking, and for the first time in her life she looked strong and determined. ‘I want a butterfly,’ she said to Mother. ‘But not a warrior. I want a sorcerer butterfly. I want the magic.’

  Mother handed Lizzie a book of flash and then smeared cream on Mare’s back and covered it with plastic wrap, while Lizzie began to look for her sorcerer tat.

  ‘That one, the sorcerer butterfly,’ Lizzie said a few moments later, handing Mother the book as she took Mare’s place on the chair. ‘But small on my ankle. Something that’ll look great with my shoes. Whatever they turn into.’

  Dee put down her cup and got to her feet. ‘I think that’s my cue to leave. We all know about Xan now, we’re all protected because we know, we’ll talk to the guys-’

  Mother turned those gray eyes on Dee. ‘Three sisters. Three tattoos. Different but the same.’

  ‘I am not getting a tattoo,’ Dee said.

  Mother nodded, still serene, and handed her a second book of flash.

  ‘Save yourself a little time,’ Mare said to Mother, ‘don’t bother with Dee and the flash. It’s not going to happen.’

  Mother sighed. ‘You’ll be fine, Mare. Stop trying to control the universe. It’s not trying to control you.’ She put a gentle hand on her arm and Mare almost burst into tears. ‘And give my love to Crash when you see him.’

  Mare sniffed. ‘Okay,’ she said, and headed for the door.

  The last thing she heard was Dee saying, ‘Really, I am not getting a tattoo.’

  Xan was lighting the candle under her chafing dish when she saw Maxine in the see glass, huddled next to the Dumpster, looking tense. She frowned and then waved her hand and opened the portal, and Maxine stumbled into the room.<
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  ‘What’s wrong?’ Xan said, not unkindly. Maxine looked around, trying to hide her nervousness. ‘Hey, it’s nice in here. I never been in this room before.’

  ‘It’s my kitchen.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Maxine said, reaching out to stroke the black granite countertops. ‘Are those cherrywood cabinets? They’re really red. This is something.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Xan watched her for a moment and then went back to the silver chafing dish.

  The cream there was warming beautifully, thick and rich, and Maxine inhaled and sneezed.

  Xan sighed.

  Maxine moved closer to the bowl. ‘What is that?’

  ‘Cream,’ Xan said. A few spices. A little coffee. Some dark chocolate.’

  Maxine leaned closer and sniffed. ‘What are you making?’

  ‘A spell.’ Xan picked up three cinnamon sticks from an intricately painted box that held dozens and, for the moment, her see glass. ‘Lean back, Maxine, I do not want you sneezing into this.’

  Maxine stepped back. ‘Is it dangerous?’

  ‘Very.’ Xan broke the three cinnamon sticks into the cream.

  The rich spice filled the room, the cloud spiraling up in three curling strands, rust-colored arabesques with tiny red sparks that made Maxine’s mouth drop open. ‘Whoa,’ she said, leaning closer again as the spirals turned and twisted, and Xan watched, smiling, her eyes half shut.

  ‘What kind of spell is that?’

  It’s a libido spell, Maxine,’ Xan said, watching the cinnamon curl. ‘I went to Salem’s Fork today to nudge the plan back into place, and this spell is going to make sure it stays there. Tonight the sisters and their lovers are going to find each other irresistible. Tonight seals the deal.’

  ‘I’m sorry we couldn’t get the necklace, Xantippe,’ Maxine said, watching the cinnamon, too.

  ‘It’s all right, Maxine,’ Xan said. ‘You can try again tomorrow.’

 

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