“Th—that’s not it. I just wanted to know, as friends.” I stumble over my words, hating the feel of him against me.
“You lie, sweetheart. You care for him on some deeper level. Now, tell me, who does your body crave? Who do you think about when you touch yourself? Hmm?” His voice rattles my brain. All I want to do is sink into the couch and disappear.
Liam is who I want to say at first, but also Noah. Neither are acceptable answers. Not in the position I’m currently in. His eyes show no compassion, only possession.
“You,” I mutter.
“That’s right. I’ve pulled you away from both distractions, yet you still think about them. Don’t think I haven’t seen you drift off into some dreamland where you live happily ever after with them. What else do I have to do to get that through your thick skull?” His voice grows angrier and more desperate.
Hearing him talk about him pulling both Noah and Liam away from me, though … it all starts to make sense.
He sees it.
He’s the reason Noah and Liam are gone. The fact he’d go through this much trouble for me scares me to no end. There isn’t another option for him. There are no other fish in the sea.
I have the terrible feeling that if he can’t have me, no one will.
“Did you?” I can’t say the words out loud. He knows well enough what I’m asking. My body is trembling as I wait for his response.
The response I dread hearing.
The response that will change the game and drastically lower my odds of getting out of here alive.
“Kill him?” he asks simply. Licking my cheek, he laps up the tears I didn’t realize were falling.
I nod slightly. Please say no. Please say no.
“I think we both know the answer. Don’t we?” His smile is back, and I know he’s a murderer. He killed—not for me, but to have me.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Noah were dead too, but I can’t stand to ask any more questions. I fight to keep my body from shaking and bursting into tears at the thought of Noah being dead because of me. My face crumples slightly at the thought, but I keep the tears at bay.
He laughs at me. “You know, you ought to be careful. Sneaking around here, you should know by now that there are consequences for your actions.” Getting up, he dials a number on his phone and for a moment, I’m left on the couch, speechless and motionless.
As soon as he starts walking away from the front door, I get up and make a mad dash for it, knowing this is my moment of opportunity. My hand is on the door and I have it open when I feel his hand on my shoulder and the needle in my neck. Hope drains from me as I feel the medicine pump into my system. Screaming, I collapse and the last thing I see before everything fades is Liam’s figure, holding me up and protecting me.
Maguire
ONE MOMENT, SHE’S with me, and the next, she’s against me.
It’s a constant battle between us, even though half the time nothing is spoken. She doesn’t trust me but is comfortable enough with me from our past to relax and not fight.
It’s only a matter of time before I find out if she’ll stay or go.
Not that she can go, but she’ll make an attempt.
I know she still has feelings for me, and I’ve tried my damnedest to be my old self, to remind her of how it used to be.
Hearing her ask about Liam and Noah, though; I hadn’t realized she was still caught up in Liam. I also didn’t realize how much she cared for Noah.
This is why she needs me to help guide her. I can guide her away from the confusion, and with time, I know we’ll be happy together.
Seeing her run just now pissed me off. She knew those were loaded questions and should have been ready for my answers.
I wasn’t expecting to run into these complications. It wasn’t part of my plan.
Tinsley
THE FIRST THING I notice when I wake up is the horribly uncomfortable bed I’m on and the sound of the beeping monitors. My head pounds, my throat is dry, and the lights are dim, but I’m okay. Physically at least.
I was so close to freedom. It was within my reach.
I failed. I don’t even try to open my eyes. I don’t want to see Maguire’s face ever again. His solution for my disobeying is to drug me, and I’m so sick of being high. He thinks I’m his possession, his soul mate. I don’t think he realizes the hatred he’s caused me to have for him. He turned me against him. It was his own doing.
I won’t be a victim. I’m done playing nice. Once I’m back to my old self, without sedatives in my system, he’ll see a whole new side of me.
Except right now, I’m a prisoner of my own body. I pray for strength but making the simplest of movements is difficult and sleep calls my name.
WHEN I WAKE UP some time later, a female voice I don’t recognize is talking to a man. Their voices are hushed as if they’re trying to stay quiet and not wake me. The lights are off this time, but the beeping continues. Feeling around, I’m under a blanket and have a gown on.
Opening my eyes wide, I’m terrified I’ve pissed off Maguire so much that he’s taken things to a whole new level.
I’m in a darkened hospital room. The dry erase board shows my nurse’s name is Christina.
I know I must be still in a dream-like state because Liam walks into my room and to the side of the bed.
“Hello, sweetheart.” His voice is soothing, comforting my soul.
I’m hallucinating. Scrambling to pull my legs up to my chest, I scream, “Stay away! You’re not real! You’re not real.” Scratching my head, I continue, “Get the fuck out of my head. This isn’t real!”
My heart hurts, knowing it can’t be real. “You’re not real,” I repeat in defeat. I scrunch my face and feel tears weeping down my face. When he tries to touch me, I slap him away. “I know you’re Maguire. These fucking drugs. Fuck, just leave me alone!”
The vision of Liam stands and walks away, out of my room. I try desperately to snap out of this nightmare. I need a doctor, or a nurse, or someone. I need help.
Two nurses come in, one young and one old. They lay me back, and in a soothing voice, the older one tells me to get some rest. I’m about to scream when I feel the warmth streaming through my veins.
I’m helpless.
I’ve failed.
HE’S THERE WHEN I wake up. Sitting to my left in a chair, he’s scrolling through his phone. Without a word, I turn and face the opposite wall. If I can’t get him out of my room and out of my head, I’ll ignore him until the meds wear off.
“You’re awake.” The deepness of his voice makes me jump.
“Fuck off, Maguire. You’re not going to get away with this,” I snarl.
“Tinsley.” I hear him stand, but he doesn’t take a step closer.
“Go away.”
“Tinsley. Maguire isn’t going to get away with this. I swear it to you.” He’s pleading.
“What?” I fight the urge to turn around. I won’t play into his hand.
“We got Maguire. He can’t hurt you anymore.” He takes a step closer, and I grip the blanket tighter as if it’ll protect me.
I hear him walk around, and before I know it, he’s bending down so I can see him.
It’s Liam. But I know he’s not real and that it’s in my head. Tears stream down my face. He reaches out and wipes one away.
“Stop,” I whisper. “You can’t be here.” His touch feels so real that I want to get lost in it.
His eyes. They’re pleading for me to believe him. “Maguire’s behind bars, babe. It’s all over.”
I stare, not knowing what he’s talking about.
After a minute, he continues, “It had to be this way. I’m so sorry for it, but it’s over now and you’re safe. This is a safe place for you. Please don’t be frightened.” He grabs hold of my hand and rubs his thumb lightly over my hand that isn’t hooked up to the IV.
He smiles at me. “There’s a lot you need to know. Right now, I care more about how you’re feeling. The doctor said the
drugs might make you a little loopy or tired for a few more hours.” He plops down on the ground, leaning against the wall for support. “You were so brave.”
All I can do is stare at him for a few moments. Looking over each feature, he looks the same as my Liam, except he’s a bit scruffier and he’s in a suit. He never wore suits when he was with me. He’s quiet but smiling as I try to figure out if this is a reality or not.
“Liam?” I say his name in hope. “You’re—you’re not—you died?” I work through the idea of him being in front of me.
This time, only one side of his mouth goes up. “Like I said, there’s a lot we need to talk about. You’re safe. No one will hurt you now. Get some sleep and I’ll be back in an hour.” Liam stands and brushes off his pants. Taking a step closer, he squeezes my hand, and before he leaves, he places a soft kiss on my forehead.
I’m left alone with my thoughts, which are going a thousand miles a minute.
I saw Liam in the storage room; I saw the blood from his gunshot wounds. I rode with him in the ambulance and was there at the hospital when he died. We went to his funeral, moved things out of his home after selling it, and grieved over him for months.
Yet he was just here in my room.
These thoughts swirl around in my head as nurses come and go, checking my vitals and making sure I’m comfortable.
So many questions. I don’t even know where to start. I want so badly to be pissed at him and tell him to leave me the hell alone, but when I see him, I see my future. I see the man I love and will always love. My heart beats for him, and even though I should be outraged, I’m grateful for him being here with me.
When he finally comes back into the room, he shuts the door and takes off his jacket. Coming closer to me, I scoot to the side of the bed to allow him room to lie with me. He nods with a smile and after slipping off his shoes, he lies down beside me.
His smell, his unique Liam smell, overwhelms me. I’ve missed it so much. He lifts an arm over my head and I move in to snuggle with him.
This feels like home. Noah was a close second but feeling him against me now, warm and alive—there’s nothing to compare it to. I love this man with all my heart.
But he has some explaining to do.
“I love you,” he mutters as he kisses my hair.
“You died.”
“Sorta. Not really. Are you ready for a story, sweet Tinsley?” He gets under the blanket with me as I nod my head, not sure what I’m about to hear.
“I didn’t die.” He waits and watches my expressions, but at this point, all I can do is chuckle.
“You don’t say,” I say as if I’m surprised.
“Yep. No death. Before I go into everything, you have to know that my feelings for you are real and nothing between us was fake. I love you and have for years. Promise me this, Tinsley.” Desperation is hinted in his eyes. I know whatever he’s about to say is going to be monumental of some sort.
“No pinky promises, but I’ll try.” I brace myself for what he’s about to say.
“Okay. Here goes. It was planned for us to meet. You’ve been part of an ongoing investigation for over five years now. Once it became clear that you were an integral part, it was my job to step in and protect you.”
“It was all a lie? For your job?” Tears fall freely as I think back to my relationship with Liam. Never once did it feel fake to me. “Did you even love me? How could you? You left me in the hands of a crazy person!” I scream at him. I want to demand that he leave my room, but when I look into his eyes, I see how sorry he is. “I hate you. You left me. How could you? Why was it so important for me to be one of your chess pieces?”
“It didn’t go as planned. They pulled me off the case early after my death was faked. My replacement watched you and gave me occasional updates, but at some point, he was reassigned and it left no one to watch you for a few days. By the time I realized it, you had already been taken and it became a rescue mission. That was the day you opened the front door and I was there. Believe me; I never ever wanted you to get hurt.”
“Who is he?”
“Maguire. He’s a serial killer of sorts. Most of the time, they’ve been short-lived relationships that start out with him madly and obsessively in love and end in brutal murder. He was good at cleaning his trail. We’d find the girl, but no trace of him were ever left behind and acquaintances never named him as a threat. By the time we figured out it was him, he was already focused on you. You were different, though. You didn’t date him in college, and to be honest, during his time of focusing on you, he didn’t date anyone or kill anyone else. That’s why we were watching and waiting.”
More tears fall. I feel like I’m slowly dying inside. It’s a dreaded question, but one that I have to hear. “Ho—how many? How many others?”
“We can’t be sure. We know two for sure, but it could be as many as seven. Most were within a short time period when he was a freshman and sophomore in college.”
The thought sends chills down my spine.
“I don’t have to keep going, babe. We can wait until another day after you’re discharged.”
I panic. “What about Noah!?” It dawns on me that Maguire had Noah. Is he safe?
Kissing the side of my cheek, he tells me, “We got to him in time. He’s down the hall, but he’s unconscious right now. He’ll be fine. I promise.”
I want to yell at him for lying to me, but I can’t. To have him back in my life, I’m not going to waste any amount of time arguing over something that’s already been done. I’m not taking him for granted this time.
Relief washes over me. It hurts that he couldn’t tell me the truth, but I understand. All this time, he’s been alive, knowing I’m trying to move on while he has his hands tied behind his back.
“He could have killed me, or raped me, or chopped me up into itty bitty pieces and buried me in the park.” My mind wanders off thinking about all the chances Maguire had to hurt me and how Liam and his team wouldn’t have been able to get to me in time.
“Believe me when I say I wanted to stay on your case and get you before Maguire kidnapped you. It was never supposed to happen like that. When I was on the case, I begged and pleaded to stay on but superiors took over. They said my emotions were clouding my judgment. When I realized you weren’t being watched, it killed me, Tinsley. I got to you as soon as I could.”
I wipe the tears from my face.
“I’m guessing this wasn’t easy on you, either, huh?” I turn my head to see him better. His eyes look tired. His solemn smile tells me how rough he’s had it.
“Rodney kept me informed some, especially in the beginning. That’s why he was always on the phone. But, babe, seeing you grieve was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to witness. What made it worse was that I caused it and couldn’t be there to tell you things would be okay. Maguire had to believe he was making progress with you, and if I were still around, he would become more unstable. Right before he shot me, he was becoming more reckless, more agitated. He was watching you more. We made the decision to provoke him enough for him to essentially take me out. With me out of the picture, he won. At least, he did in his mind. We got lucky and he walked right into the trap and shot me in the specially made bulletproof vest. He walked away once he saw the blood, assuming his job was done.”
“So you did get shot, but you weren’t hurt? I heard the gunshots and saw you in the ambulance?” I ask, reliving the fateful night.
“It was meticulously planned. Detective Sanchez is one of our men in the FBI and the paramedics and doctors were part of the mission. It had to be believable. You had to follow the natural path of mourning, and we had our fingers crossed that he’d swoop in. The house was another part of it. While it was a listed property to the public, we specifically marketed it to him with a few strategic marketing moves. I think he would have bought it regardless, seeing as how analytical and observant he is.”
I sniffle, overwhelmed by all that I’m hearing and figuri
ng out. “He knew where you lived because I lived there with you. When he saw the sign in the yard, he probably saw it as the perfect opportunity. I played right into his hand too. I feel so stupid, Liam,” I tell him in all honesty.
Shaking his head, he tells me otherwise. “You didn’t know.” He holds on to me tighter. “You did everything right. No one got too terribly hurt, and he’s behind bars now. Let’s get some sleep and tomorrow will be a new day.” Turning the lights off, he lowers the bed a little more so we can both get some rest.
He’s wrong, though. People did get hurt. Those women before me died because of the man I was in bed with. The thought haunts me as I close my eyes and pray for sleep.
THE NEXT TIME I wake up, I’m alone in the room. Liam’s gone and in his place, he left a note.
I went to check on Noah. Use the call button to have a nurse bring you down to room 7-530. I love you.
I smile, rubbing my thumb over his sloppy handwriting and reach over to push the call button. It isn’t long before an older nurse by the name of Betty enters. It takes a little while to get the tubes situated and me in a wheelchair.
“We should be able to get you off the IV when the doctor comes in. They wanted to make sure you were hydrated after you were brought in. That fella of yours sure is something, though.” She smiles kindly, and I can’t help but thank the higher powers that Liam is back in my life. “He’s been here with you the whole time. There’s a whole lot of love in him. Cherish that, sweetie.” She wheels me down the hall, and while I’m happy to see Liam again, there’s a lot for Noah and me to discuss.
While I am still upset with Liam, I know I have to talk with Noah. He has to know that with Liam back, my heart belongs to him. Noah and I have a special type of relationship, but it can’t be the type he wants. I think he knows this, but it’s going to be heartbreaking to talk about.
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