by Gina Wilkins
On a sudden impulse, he straightened in his chair and reached for his computer. One thing he had learned during those too-few days with Madison was that it sometimes paid off to take risks.
Madison was taking a short caffeine break in a hospital coffee shop late Wednesday morning while she skimmed through her email on her phone. She took a too-hasty swallow of her coffee, almost burning her mouth when she saw Jason’s email address on one of the unread messages. The subject heading read, Forget something?
Was he just getting around to chiding her for leaving without saying goodbye? She’d figured he wouldn’t like that, but she’d hoped he would understand that she hadn’t wanted their weekend to end with an awkward, public handshake. She opened the email.
Hi, sweet Esmeralda. You forgot your lip gloss. Since it’s not my color, I’d be happy to send it to you if you like. I hope all is well with you.
It was signed simply, Jones.
Her throat suddenly tight, she set her coffee cup on the table and read the message again. She’d forgotten all about the gloss. She hadn’t forgotten about Jason, not for one moment since she’d walked away from him.
His use of their silly nicknames told her he wasn’t angry with her for the hasty departure. She was glad. She wanted him to remember her with a smile, not a frown. She certainly smiled whenever she thought of him, though she was all too aware that many of the smiles were a little misty.
No need to go to that trouble, Dr. Jones, she typed back quickly, but thanks for offering. Busy here, but I’m well. You?
She studied the breezy note for a moment before hitting Send. Did it strike the right tone? Friendly, not expecting a reply, but still open to one?
Her pager beeped and she sent the note before she could change her mind. It was only polite to reply, she reminded herself.
She found another message from him when she checked the next night before going to bed. Just as casually as before, he shared with her a humorous anecdote about his day that made her laugh. She was still smiling when she closed her eyes, deciding to wait until the next day to respond to give herself time to think of something equally amusing to say.
She sent him a funny story about her interview experience in Oregon. He responded with a laugh-out-loud recounting of something his young nephews had done. Within a few days, the daily emails had evolved from short and breezy to longer and chattier. They shared more tidbits from their days—some funny, some rather naughty, others more serious.
Madison told him about the fellowship programs she had visited and which ones appealed to her most and why. She mentioned casually that the program in Dallas still impressed her, and he responded with a light jest about how he couldn’t imagine why she’d be interested in anywhere else. He said nothing more to influence her decision, and she had no idea how he really felt about her possibly moving closer to him.
Those daily messages were becoming a bit too addictive. While she still expected them to taper off, perhaps when they ran out of things to write, they showed no signs of slowing down a full month after she’d left Dallas. Several times each day she thought of things she wanted to share with Jason, and judging by the increasingly long notes from him, he was having no trouble thinking of things to say, either.
“Are you expecting a call, Madison?” her mother, LaDonna Baker, asked after a Sunday lunch with the family.
Somewhat guiltily returning her phone to her pocket, Madison shook her head apologetically. “Sorry, Mom. Just doing a quick email check. Let me help you clear the table.”
There was no lack of help with that task. Though Thanksgiving was less than two weeks away, the whole family had gathered for this lunch, as they did whenever they had an opportunity to all be together. She knew her siblings were both wearing their pagers, just as hers was in her purse, but none of them expected to be called to the hospital that day, to their mother’s delight.
Fifteen-year-old Alice Llewellyn, Meagan’s stepdaughter, chattered nonstop, as always, while the table was emptied and the dishes stowed away. There was always a lot of energy in the room when Alice was around. They all adored the teen and accepted her as a true member of the family, just as they did her attorney father, Seth. They were equally happy with Mitch’s choice of bride, Jacqui, whom they had met when she accepted a position as Seth’s housekeeper and nanny, back when he was still a single father and Meagan’s neighbor. Someone else helped out in that household now that Jacqui was married to Mitch and had a house of her own to manage, but Jacqui still remained very close to Alice.
Each new member had integrated seamlessly into the family. Despite her occasional exasperation with her bossy older siblings, and her vague longings to spread her wings and try something new in her own life, Madison loved everyone here dearly.
She had noticed that Alice seemed a bit more hyper than usual that evening, and that Meagan and Seth kept giving each other smiles and meaningful looks. So it was no surprise when Alice finally burst out, “Can’t we tell them yet? I can’t wait!”
They had all just resettled at the table to linger over coffee or soda and a plate of homemade cookies. Jacqui, Mitch, Madison and her mom all looked from Alice’s excitement-flushed face to Meagan and Seth, who were smiling ruefully. Somehow Madison knew what she was about to hear even before Meagan spoke.
“We’re going to have a baby.”
General pandemonium erupted around the table. Their mom, of course, was tearfully thrilled that she would soon have a grandbaby to spoil in addition to Alice. Everyone, including Madison, had to leap up and round the table for hugs and kisses and happy congratulations.
“I’m so happy for you both,” Madison said to them.
Meagan looked a bit dazed, and Madison understood why. Her older sister had lost an ovary in an emergency operation three years earlier at the age of thirty-two. She met Seth while she was still recuperating from that surgery, and her life had changed so drastically since. Before, her career had consumed her, to the point that she had ignored her own health. Now there was balance. She was still a dedicated, hardworking surgeon, but she took time now for her husband and cherished stepdaughter and their goofy dog, for outings and vacations and the other things that added a little spice to life.
And now there would be a baby. Her sister’s life would definitely get crazier and more demanding, but with the support of her husband, his daughter and her extended family, Madison had no doubt that Meagan could handle it all.
She saw a look pass between Jacqui and Mitch and she wondered how long it would be before they, too, made a similar announcement. She knew they wanted kids and planned to start their family soon. The family was changing, growing. Baby sister wouldn’t be the center of everyone’s concern anymore, not that she had been really for the past couple of years. Which was as it should be—even if she had been a bit spoiled by the attention, she thought with a self-mocking smile.
“So, have you made any further progress on deciding where to do your fellowship?” Mitch asked her a short while later, while everyone else was still talking babies.
“Still thinking about it,” she admitted. “Every program I visited had pros and cons, of course, but they were all excellent in their own ways. I think I did well enough in my interviews and with my CV that I’ll get my first-choice match—if I could decide which one that should be.”
“Are you being drawn toward one in particular?”
Actually, one program was drawing her—but because she didn’t quite trust her reasons for leaning that way, she was going to give it a lot more thought before she made a choice. “I’m still thinking about it,” she repeated.
“Is it still a possibility that you’ll choose to stay in Little Rock?”
“It’s a possibility.”
Her brother studied her face. “But not likely, is it?”
She shrugged. Sh
e was aware that Mitch had considered moving away several times—for medical school, for his residency, even more recently. Each time he’d come close to leaving, something had happened to hold him here, usually a family medical crisis. Now he and Jacqui had bought a house together here in Little Rock, where they planned to raise their family. She doubted that he regretted now the choices he’d made, but she had to follow her own path.
He touched his knuckles to her chin. “You know we all want the best for you, Maddie. But we all hope you don’t go too far.”
She leaned in to hug him. “No matter how far I go, you know I’ll always come back. This is home, Mitch. That won’t ever change, no matter what else does.”
He kissed her forehead, then pulled back to search her face again. “Is there something going on with you, Maddie? Other than the fellowship search, I mean? You’ve seemed distracted lately—since you got back from BiBi’s wedding, actually.”
She forced a smile and shook her head. “Just busy. Maybe a little stressed about all the changes ahead. But excited, too.”
“If you need to talk, you know how to reach me.”
“And I know you’re always there for me,” she assured him affectionately. “Thanks, Mitch, but I’m really okay right now.”
He didn’t seem entirely convinced, but he let her get away with the evasion.
The week before Thanksgiving, Jason sat again in front of his computer, gazing rather glumly at the monitor. As much as he enjoyed the daily emails from Madison, they were becoming more frustrating than satisfying now. He didn’t want to read just words from her, amusing as they were. He wanted to see her face when she laughed at his jokes or her own. Wanted to spend more time with her to see if he still found her as fascinating as he had during the scant four days they’d had together.
Twirling her tube of gloss between his fingers, he thought about his maternal aunt and her husband who lived in Little Rock. Though it hadn’t been all that long since they had visited Texas, it had been a few years since he’d been to Arkansas. Maybe it was time for him to remedy that. He knew their door was always open to him…but would Madison close her door in his face if he showed up out of the blue after they’d already said their goodbyes?
Stumbling into her apartment Tuesday evening, Madison shrugged out of her jacket and threw it over the back of a chair. It had turned colder that week. Combined with the earlier darkness, it was clear that winter wasn’t far away. Winters in Arkansas were generally fairly mild; they saw snow only a couple of times most years, and then only an inch or two. If she chose the fellowship in Massachusetts, she would see plenty of snow. Same with Oregon.
Dallas, on the other hand, had a climate very similar to Little Rock.
She pushed her hands through her hair with a weary sigh. She’d had a long day. Three admissions, one difficult chemical restraint, a bipolar patient who’d been doing so well for the past few days but had taken a dramatic turn for the worse last night. She loved her job, but there were days when she wondered if she should have learned to serve pancakes instead.
She hadn’t had a chance to eat since lunch, which had been a long time ago. She was hungry, but first she wanted to wash her face and then check her email, something else she hadn’t had time to do that afternoon. She hadn’t heard from Jason in the past couple of days. She was sure he’d been busy, too, but he’d been taking time out of his hectic schedule to send her notes. Had it become too much trouble? She’d expected the correspondence to trail off eventually, but certainly not so abruptly.
She told herself she was making too much of this. She didn’t really expect him to write every day. Didn’t mean she would never hear from him again, just that he had other things to do. Other demands on his time. Maybe he was just running out of things to say to a woman he really didn’t even know very well, despite everything they’d shared during that long weekend.
Even though she’d told herself not to expect anything, she was unreasonably disappointed when there was no note from Jason among the notices, requests and digests cluttering her inbox. A patient had told her a joke that morning she thought Jason would appreciate, but she was hesitant to send it to him. It was his turn to reply—and maybe it was silly of her to care about that little subtlety, but for some reason, she did. Maybe she’d drop him another note in a day or two if she hadn’t heard from him, just to make sure everything was okay, and then she’d let it go. It wasn’t as if she had that much extra time, anyway.
She was on her way to the kitchen, hoping to find something in her fridge for a quick dinner, when her cell phone buzzed. Figuring it would be one of her family, she lifted it to her ear without checking the screen, already frowning at the near-empty shelves in her refrigerator. She really was going to have to find time to make a grocery run soon.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Madison.”
She almost tumbled face-first into the fridge. She shut the door quickly. “Hello, Jason.”
“I hope I’m not calling at a bad time.”
“No, of course not.” She moved to the table and dropped into a chair, suddenly feeling a bit weak in the knees. A ridiculous overreaction to hearing his deep voice again, but there it was.
“I’ve enjoyed our emails, but I missed hearing your voice.”
She moistened her lips. “It’s good to hear from you.”
She heard him draw a deep breath, as if he were working up courage for what he was about to say. Her fingers tightened on the phone in preparation.
“Listen, Madison—I’m in Little Rock, visiting my aunt and uncle for the holiday. So maybe—well, I thought maybe you and I could see each other while I’m here. If you want to, of course. And if you have time. If not, I’ll understand.”
He was here. In her town. And he wanted to see her.
She swallowed hard, trying to get her whirling emotions under control so she could think clearly. She couldn’t imagine why she was reacting so dramatically to this call. Maybe she was just more tired than she had realized. “When would you like to get together?”
“Now.” The answer was immediate, and a bit husky. “But I can wait until it’s a good time for you.”
She made herself pause for a few moments, trying to be sure she was making the right choice, and for the right reasons. That she was aware of all the possible complications and repercussions of whichever decision she made. And then she nodded, as if he could see her through his phone. “Just one request.”
He sounded resigned when he said, “I know. You want to keep it secret if we see each other.”
She couldn’t help but smile a little at his tone. “No, it’s not that.”
“Then what’s the request?”
“Food. I’m starving and there’s nothing in my fridge except mustard, outdated yogurt and one lonely egg.”
A laugh was in his voice when he said, “I think I can do a little better than that.”
She gave him her address.
“I’ll be there in half an hour,” he promised and disconnected without saying anything else.
Half an hour. After five and a half weeks, she would see him again in half an hour. She jumped to her feet, aware that she was scruffy and bedraggled from a long day at work. She wouldn’t overdo it, but it wouldn’t hurt to brush her hair and freshen up a little.
After fussing with her appearance, she made a quick dash through the apartment, straightening pillows, hiding bills and junk mail, rinsing a coffee cup and stashing it in the dishwasher. Should she make a pot of coffee? Was it too late? Maybe Jason would prefer a drink. Did she have anything on hand? Was the half bottle of white wine in her fridge still drinkable?
Jason’s arrival sent the questions out of her head.
He stood outside her door, a half smile on his lips, a searching look in his eyes. “I hope Chinese is okay. I de
bated between that or pizza.”
During the past weeks she had half convinced herself that Jason wasn’t as attractive as she’d remembered, that she had idealized her memories of him. She saw now that the memories hadn’t begun to do him justice.
“I love Chinese food,” she assured him, standing aside to let him enter. Aromatic bags dangled from his hands. It appeared as though he’d brought enough food for a half dozen people.
“When I said I was starving, I didn’t mean it quite that literally,” she teased, motioning toward the dining table in her small, open apartment.
Dumping the bags, he chuckled. “I wasn’t sure what you liked. Anything left over can be reheated for later.”
“I should make some tea. Oolong goes well with Chinese. I’m pretty sure I have some in the—”
“I’d love some tea,” he interrupted gently, moving toward her. “But first—”
She melted into his arms. As he’d said, the food could always be reheated later.
They got around to eating. Eventually. Sitting at her table wearing only his jeans and unbuttoned shirt, Jason scooped noodles with bamboo chopsticks and ate them while admiring Madison as she enjoyed her fried rice. Her hair was tumbled around her fresh-scrubbed face and she wore the short, black silk robe she’d worn in Dallas. She looked so beautiful it was hard to concentrate on the food.
“I wasn’t sure if you would be glad to see me,” he confessed.
She glanced meaningfully at their state of near undress. “I hope I managed to reassure you on that count.”
Thinking back over the past hour, he smiled. “Yeah. Though I might need a reminder or two.”