by Gina Wilkins
“I understood, BiBi.” To a point. “You were protecting your little sister.”
“Foolishly,” BiBi admitted. “I mean, I wasn’t doing her any favors to encourage her to think Jason might change his mind about her. I guess I just got carried away with all the wedding stuff, you know?”
“I know,” Madison replied gently. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s great. She’s been seeing Brandon quite a bit. I think there’s some rebound involved, but she seems to really enjoy being with him for now, anyway. And he thinks the sun rises and sets with her, so that’s what she needed right now. She told me she’s a little embarrassed now about letting herself be carried away with her schoolgirl crush on Jason, especially since she’s decided they’d never really work as a couple, anyway.”
“That was awfully quick,” Madison said somewhat doubtfully, wondering if Corinna was protesting too much.
“Well, really, she hasn’t spent that much time with him in the past few years. She was away for college and then pharmacy school, and I think she romanticized him more than a bit—something that was encouraged by both families, for that matter. I think now she’s seeing him a little more clearly. I mean, yeah, he’s a great guy and all, but a woman would have to have the patience of a saint to put up with his divided attention!”
Madison wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. Jason had made time in his crazy schedule to visit her that week, but that was no indication he could continue to do so in the future, even if they tried to maintain a relationship. And with the demands on her own time, she imagined people felt the same way about her—that a man would have to be very patient to accept the time she had left to offer. Of course, both of her siblings were in highly demanding medical careers, surgery being even more all-consuming than psychiatry, yet they’d both found mates who not only accepted those commitments but actively supported them.
“So, anyway,” BiBi continued breezily, “if you want to see Jason, I’m okay with it. And I’m sure Corinna will be, too, once she has a little time to get used to the idea.”
“Look, BiBi, it’s not like Jason and I are a couple or anything. I mean, we’ve shared a few hours together, total. We’ll be spending tomorrow with our separate families, then I assume he’ll head back to Dallas soon.”
“Still, something could happen. Especially if you choose the fellowship program here in Dallas. You know I would love it if you were that close, and I bet Jason wouldn’t complain, either.”
Even though BiBi couldn’t see her, Madison resisted an impulse to roll her eyes. Talk about a complete turnaround! Now BiBi was going to push her into Jason’s arms?
She knew newlyweds had a reputation for wanting to see all their single friends hooked up, but Madison would just as soon BiBi would back off this time. It had been more comfortable all around when no one else had known Madison and Jason were hanging out together. She’d never really expected it to become an issue, since she’d thought their goodbyes in Dallas had been permanent.
“Look, BiBi, I appreciate what you’re doing. I didn’t like feeling that I was keeping secrets from you, and I’m glad we can be honest with each other.” To a point. “But you have to understand that as much as I like Jason, it’s very unlikely anything permanent will develop between us. We’re just having a little fun in our crazy schedules while we have some time off for the holiday. I’m sure before long we’ll both be too busy to even send a text message.”
She should have expected BiBi’s loyal instincts to kick into high gear. “If that’s true, then Jason’s even more of an idiot than I thought. If he has any sense at all, he’ll do whatever he has to do to keep you in his life.”
There was no arguing with BiBi on this subject. Madison just hoped her friend would keep this conversation between the two of them. She was fairly confident in that respect. BiBi had her flaws, as Madison did herself, but gossip wasn’t one of them.
Promising they would talk again soon, they wished each other happy Thanksgiving and then concluded the call. Madison drained her latte, then tossed the cup into the compostable bin before heading once again for the stairwell. She would call her mom from the parking lot after using the walk to her car to clear her head a little.
She still hadn’t decided if she was going to mention Jason to her family tomorrow. Wasn’t sure what she’d say if she did. How would she casually bring up a heated, impetuous and likely fleeting affair to her mother, sister and brother? It wasn’t as if she hadn’t had other rather brief, casual liaisons—but there was something different about Jason. About her convoluted feelings for him. And she wasn’t sure she could discuss him without revealing too much to their all-too-discerning family.
She was afraid they might see that for the first time in her life, she had fallen hard and fast. As quickly as it had happened, as unlikely as it was to end happily, as bad as her timing—she was beginning to suspect she had tumbled precipitously into love with this ultra-responsible, deeply-rooted, commitment-overloaded family doc. And that scared her right down to her previously carefully guarded heart.
Madison had given Jason her spare key so he could let himself into her apartment if he got there before she did. He had asked her if she’d rather he check into a hotel for the remainder of his visit, and she had taken a moment to think before answering. While she couldn’t help worrying a little that having him stay with her would become awkward—or that she would like it a bit too much!—she still found herself unable to ask him to leave.
His car was in the lot when she parked, and she felt her pulse rate accelerate at the thought of him waiting for her. She should have stopped for food, she realized as she climbed out of the car, shivering when a gust of cold wind tossed her hair and slithered into the open collar of her coat. She’d been too eager to see him again to even think about food until this moment. Considering the state of her pantry, they’d either have to eat leftover Chinese or order pizza unless he wanted to go out for a meal.
Letting herself into the apartment, she stopped in surprise when she was immediately greeted by delicious aromas. She could see Jason moving around in her little kitchen. He’d cooked for her?
There were flowers and candles on her table, she realized. And music drifting from the kitchen. She took a couple of steps, then paused abruptly when she recognized the song. An oldie. “Leather and Lace.” She swallowed when Tom Petty wailed about never wanting to leave once he walked into his lover’s house. Just the mention of the word moonlight in the song made her knees go weak as she remembered that first lovely kiss.
“Jason?”
His hum dying in his throat, he whirled, spoon in hand. “Oh. Hi. I didn’t hear you come in.”
His shirt was partially unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up on his forearms. A lock of his dark hair fell over his forehead. He looked so sexy and charming pottering around in her kitchen that she couldn’t help sliding a little farther into love with him.
She cleared her throat. “You cooked dinner?”
He chuckled. “I wish I could say yes. I’m just plating takeout. I thought you might be too tired to think about dinner. I hope you like barbecue.”
She had to get a grip on her runaway emotions before she gave away too much to him. Tossing her coat and bag into a living-room chair, she spoke breezily as she moved toward him. “I’m from Arkansas. Of course I like barbecue.”
“Hmm.” Turning back to the bowls on the counter, he glanced at her over his shoulder. “If you want real barbecue, you’ve got to come to Texas, of course, but I’m told this place makes a passable substitute.”
“Not getting into that argument.” She headed toward the refrigerator. “But thanks for the food—even though you didn’t have to provide for us again tonight. Wine or tea with your meal?”
“I saw your wine. I’ll take tea.”
She laughed.
“You’re in a mood tonight.”
He caught her shoulder when she was within reach and spun her into his arms for a thorough kiss.
“A good mood,” he said when he gave her a chance to breathe.
She released a long sigh, bracing herself against him for a moment until her knees remembered how to support her again. “Hmm, me, too. Now.”
He smiled and picked up a platter to carry to the table when she started toward the fridge again. “How was your day? Other than long?”
“I’ve had worse.” She would share a few tidbits with him during dinner. But first… “BiBi called me as I was leaving the hospital this evening.”
Silverware clanked. Jason looked sharply at her. “Because of me?”
Filling two glasses with iced tea, she nodded. “Ostensibly to tell me happy Thanksgiving. But yes, really because of you. She heard through the impressive family grapevine that you were here in Little Rock, and she put two and two together.”
“Was it bad?”
“Surprisingly…no.” While they sat down to eat, she gave him a quick summary of the call—leaving out the part where BiBi had pretty much mapped out a future for Madison and Jason.
Jason shook his head in bemusement. “So we now have her approval to spend time together?”
“Something like that.”
“Madison? Your friend BiBi? She’s not quite normal.”
Madison laughed. “Trust me, you aren’t telling me anything new. But then, some people would say the same about me.”
He made a show of considering, then nodded. “I can see that.”
She laughed again, enjoying the banter. “Would you like some more iced tea?”
“Yes, please.”
She stood and moved toward the fridge, sheepishly aware she wore a besotted smile as she did so.
“So, now that we have BiBi’s blessing…”
Lying on the pillows snuggled next to Jason later that evening, Madison lifted an eyebrow in response to his out-of-the-blue comment. “You’re still thinking about BiBi’s phone call?”
“Thinking about it again,” he corrected. “I was distracted earlier.”
She walked her fingers up his bare, still slightly damp chest. “Pleasantly distracted, I hope?”
“Fishing for compliments?”
Grinning, she traced the faint indention in his chin with one fingertip. “No, but feel free to throw a few this way.”
“You’re beautiful. And sexy. And funny. And brilliant. And…”
Laughing, she covered his mouth with her hand. “Okay, that will do, thank you.”
He kissed her fingers before tugging her hand away. “As I was saying about BiBi…does it make you feel better about us to know she doesn’t mind?”
“I suppose. Though obviously I wasn’t letting her disapproval stop me from seeing you.”
“We just couldn’t tell anyone.”
“There was never any need to tell anyone,” she corrected. “I said all along that I didn’t consider us sneaking around. Just being discreet.”
“So maybe we could be a little less discreet now?”
She looked at him in question. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“I’d just like to be able to come visit you without using my aunt as a cover story.”
She lay very still, letting the impact of his words sink in. “So after you go back this weekend…?”
“I’ll still want to see you again. Did you really think I would just go back home and forget all about you? That didn’t work before. I see no reason to think it will this time.”
Her heart was suddenly beating so fast she could feel it in her throat. “Jason, I can’t—”
This time it was he who covered her mouth with his fingers, understanding in his eyes. “I know what a busy time this is for you. I know you still have half your last year of residency to finish and I remember how hectic that period was for me. I know you haven’t made your final decision about where you’ll spend the next two years for your fellowship—though, I’m going to keep reminding you that Dallas is the most obvious choice,” he added with a faint grin.
She knew her answering smile was weak at best. That decision of fellowship programs was becoming more complicated all the time. She was beginning to worry about whether she would be able to decide independently of her feelings for Jason. If she chose Dallas, would it truly be on the merits of the program, or because she wanted to be closer to him, to have a chance for a future with him? If she didn’t choose Dallas, would it be only because she found another program to be more attractive, or because she worried about the potential heartbreak and complications of living in the same town as Jason?
“All I’m saying is that I understand, and I won’t make any great demands on your time,” he went on, oblivious to her convoluted ponderings. “I’d just like to see you occasionally, when we both have a free weekend or holiday. It’s only a little over a five-hour drive, or an hour flight. And in between, we have phones and computers.”
“What you’re describing is a long-distance romance.”
He shrugged. “No need to label it.”
“And the goal of this unlabeled liaison?”
Though he seemed amused by her wording, he answered enticingly, “Fun. Laughter. Escape.”
Her pounding heart sank a little. Was that the way he still viewed her? His fantasy diversion from the crushing demands of his life at home? He had described an ambiguous future in which they went about their individual pursuits, getting together whenever it was convenient for both of them for a good time and some rousing sex. Friends with benefits. No real strings or commitments, no extra demands on their time, which was so limited already. She should probably be pleased that he was making it so simple.
And yet the description left her feeling somewhat hollow. Dissatisfied. Which was only further evidence that her feelings for Jason had already progressed far beyond attraction or even infatuation.
Telling herself she must be tired, or still rattled by BiBi’s call or just generally not thinking clearly, she made herself smile and say lightly, “I always enjoy spending time with you, Jason. I certainly won’t hang up on you if you call.”
He chuckled, but she thought there was a certain discontent in his expression, too. Or was she merely projecting her own feelings?
She sighed lightly and nestled more deeply into her pillow. “I’m getting sleepy. Long day today. Another long day ahead tomorrow.”
She was expected at her mother’s at noon, bearing the dish she had to get up early to bake, and she would be expected to remain there until late afternoon, visiting and playing games and watching football on TV. Because her son would be having Thanksgiving lunch with his girlfriend’s family, Jason’s aunt Lindsay would be serving a later meal, a Thanksgiving dinner beginning at five.
Obviously, each of them could join the other’s family for the holiday meal. Yet even after BiBi’s call had removed some of the pressure for circumspection, and even though Madison was certain her family would welcome another diner at their Thanksgiving table, she’d still hesitated to suggest it. When she’d tentatively floated the possibility past Jason, she could tell he was just as uncomfortable with the idea.
Still, it seemed only polite to offer one more time. “You’re sure you don’t want to join my family for lunch tomorrow?”
He smiled and brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “Thank you for asking, but I won’t intrude on your family. Not this time, anyway.”
He was definitely leaving the possibility open for future holidays together, she realized. Jason seemed serious about wanting to maintain a relationship with her after he returned to Dallas, as undefined and long-distance as that relationship might be. Filled with a new sense of budding optimism, s
he envisioned a vague future with Jason as an important part of it—and it made her happy, she realized with a little thrill of excitement and nerves.
As if making sure she wouldn’t waste time fretting about him, Jason added, “I’ll be fine hanging out here watching TV for a while, and Aunt Lindsay told me I was welcome to show up early at her house to hang out with my uncle. Have a great time with your family.”
“You do the same.”
“I will.” He leaned over to kiss her. “Good night, Madison.”
She snuggled into his shoulder, trying not to think about how empty her bed would be this time next week.
Perhaps it was a demonstration of her state of mind that Madison was acutely aware of the vibes between her siblings and their spouses during their holiday together. The shared looks and smiles. The unspoken thoughts that obviously passed between them when something struck them as funny or particularly interesting. It had never particularly bothered her to be single in a room full of couples because she had always been content with her own company, but still she found herself missing Jason that day. Several times she pictured her sharing a laughing glance with him or thought of how much he would enjoy a certain anecdote told by one of her family members. She thought he and Mitch and Seth would get along very well, and she had no doubt that the women would love him, as women always seemed to do.
How could she be so keenly aware of his absence today when he’d never even spent time with her family? When she’d spent so little time with him, herself, actually?
He had implied that there would come a time when they would meet each other’s families. She would like that. From what she had seen of them at BiBi’s reception, his family had looked nice. Maybe sometime during the Christmas holidays she could take a day or two to pop over to Dallas. She wondered if Jason had any plans for New Year’s Eve….