by Mari Carr
Full Position
Mari Carr
Full Position
Copyright 2014 Mari Carr
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
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Formatted by IRONHORSE Formatting
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Excerpt from Blank Canvas
About the Author
Other Titles by Mari Carr
Chapter One
“So basically I’m finished with men.”
Justin Lewis rolled his eyes. “Of course you are.”
Bella leaned closer, her face completely earnest. “I mean it. You guys are part of an entire gender of fucksticks. I’m done.”
Ned snorted. “Until next week, when your hormones get the better of you.”
Bella gave Ned a dirty look. “For your information, when that happens I turn to my boyfriend, Roger. He’s reliable, efficient and he doesn’t talk.”
Justin took a swig of Dixie beer. “Giving your rabbit a name doesn’t make it a boyfriend, Bells. It’s still just a vibrator.”
“Yes, but it’s the deluxe model. No expense spared. And thanks to my cushy job with you guys, I can afford the best.”
Bella Carper had worked at Lewis and Kinnaman Marketing since graduating from college with her graphics art degree six years earlier. Justin’s best friend and business partner, Ned Kinnaman, had taken one look at her portfolio and known she was destined to be one of their artists. Since then, they’d helped mold her craft, while giving her the creative freedom to try new things. She’d lived up to every professional expectation they’d had and more.
Ned rolled his eyes. “I’m glad to hear you’re investing your income so wisely.”
Justin laughed at their easy, off-color banter. He hadn’t anticipated that Bella would become a friend as well as an employee. He’d never really had many female friends. Not in high school or even after. He figured his sisters didn’t count. He’d chalked that deficit up to a personality thing. He was too much of a guy—prone to heavy drinking, cussing fluently during televised sports and flirting rampantly with any pretty woman who entered his dance space.
And, of course, he blamed Ned too. Ned tended to intimidate women, which wasn’t entirely surprising. At six foot four and two-twenty, Ned cast a rather large shadow. Add in his dominant personality and his far-too-serious nature and women tended to give both men a wide berth.
Well, most women.
The exceptions were the submissives at Extreme Connections, the private sex club he and Ned belonged to. Those women actually sought them out. Of course, that had everything to do with sex and nothing to do with friendship.
“So what was wrong with this last guy? Phillip?” Ned asked.
“Patrick,” she corrected. “And do you mean apart from the fact he was a complete male chauvinist pig, annoying and a know-it-all? I wouldn’t mind so much, but now I have to find a new personal trainer.”
Ned failed to suppress his I told you so grin. “He never should have started an affair with you. It was completely unprofessional.”
Bella flipped her hair over her shoulder. “You and your damn professionalism. He was hot, and I’m pretty sure I won him over with my incredible stamina and flexibility. He just couldn’t resist my lunges and burpees.”
She and Ned laughed at her joke, but for some reason, Justin was finding it difficult to play along with their irreverent, off-color banter tonight. While Bella’s sarcastic wit was as firmly in place as her smile, her pretty green eyes gave her away. She was sad.
Justin realized that look had been there a lot the past few months. “Regardless of your pretzel-like physique, I’m glad you got away from Patrick. I didn’t trust that guy.”
Bella’s eyes widened a bit, betraying her surprise at his confession. Justin rarely commented or expressed an opinion on her love life. “If you want the truth, he was meek as a kitten in bed. All those sleek, hard muscles turned to mush between the sheets. Kept wanting me to take the lead, get on top, blah blah blah. Boring.” She blinked a couple times as if realizing what she’d just said then winced. “God, I’m the queen of TMI tonight—vibrators and boring lovers. I must be drunker than I thought.”
Off-color humor wasn’t uncommon between them and none of them were exactly shy about discussing the whens and whos of their sexual affairs. However, Bella had never revealed quite so many details about the during. Justin put his beer bottle down. “Wait. Back up the bus. Are you trying to tell me you prefer to play the bottom?”
Bella’s brows creased and Ned flashed Justin a warning look. Unfortunately, it was too late. “Play the bottom?”
Justin tried to cover up his mistake. “I meant be on the bottom.”
Bella tilted her head, curiosity radiating. However, before she could question Justin, Ned intervened.
“I think you’re smart to take a break from dating for a while. Gives you a chance to reevaluate what you want in a relationship. Maybe you’re going for the wrong type of guy.”
“The problem isn’t knowing what I want. I know exactly what kind of man I’m looking for. Unfortunately, my fantasy guy doesn’t exist in reality.”
Ned waved the waitress over and asked for another round, even though Justin suspected Bella had been ready to wrap things up and call it a night. Now that she’d mentioned her fantasies, it appeared his friend’s curiosity had been piqued.
What did Bella want in a man? Justin knew Ned had always cast her in the role of a Domme. Not that Bella would know that. As a result, his friend had dismissed her as a compatible sex partner. Actually, Ned would never let himself consider Bella in a sexual way because of work, which made Justin wonder if his friend had clung to that Domme excuse as a way to make it easier to stay away from her.
The truth was, Bella was quite beautiful. Her light-brown hair hung in long waves and had just a few touches of blonde highlights that glittered whenever she was outside. Her green eyes were tipped with dark lashes and incredibly expressive. Justin loved to watch them widen whenever she told a funny or exciting story. She also talked with her hands. It was rare to hear words coming out of Bella’s mouth without her hands waving around in front of her. Ned often warned her she’d take flight one of these days if she didn’t stop flapping so hard. She’d always laugh, but never attempted to still her hands.
Al
l of those things had been apparent about her right from the beginning. What Justin had only started to notice lately was her body.
They had a very loose dress code at work, so he seldom saw her in anything other than jeans, t-shirts and her standard ponytail at work. However, about a year ago, Ned had been knocked down with a killer case of the flu the morning of a big presentation. Bella had created the logo, so Justin asked her to help him make the bid. She’d shown up in a short skirt, silk blouse and sexy heels that nearly had him falling to his knees in front of her, ready to beg for mercy—or whatever else she was willing to give him. Her outfit had actually been perfectly professional, but it had taken Justin’s dirty mind to places it had no business going.
The problem was, he and Ned had never revealed any details about their private affairs to Bella either. Instead, they’d sort of taken her under their wing like an adored kid sister, sheltering her from what small-town-girl Bella would likely consider extreme sexual practices. He suspected in her eyes, they were just her easygoing, laidback playboy bosses, kings of vanilla sex with lots of women.
If she knew the truth…
Well, Justin didn’t want to consider what she’d think of that because it would tempt him. He’d been fantasizing about her too much lately as it was. Way too much. Then, six months ago, something else happened. Something that turned the tide for him for good. It was a stupid thing really, but it had burrowed in Justin’s brain and driven him crazy ever since.
She’d come to Sunday dinner at his mother’s house. Over the years, she had become a regular there, usually managing to make an appearance once a month. On that Sunday, Ned, Justin and his brothers—Caliph, Jett, Noah and Zac—had gone to the living room to watch football, while Bella remained in the dining room with his sister Chloe and Caliph’s girlfriend, Jennifer. They’d all been sitting there, drinking wine, talking about girl stuff, but when Justin passed through to grab the next round of beers from the kitchen, he heard Bella talking about wanting children. The image of her pregnant flashed in his mind—and in that instant, Justin realized he was actually jealous of the future father. So jealous he couldn’t see straight.
He’d never met a woman who made him consider marriage or babies. But since then, he’d grown more and more convinced Bella was meant to be his wife, the mother of his children.
However, Ned was determined that they keep their professional and personal lives separate, so Justin played along, despite how much that was starting to rub against the grain. At some point, he was going to have to come clean, going to have to tell his friend about his infatuation for Bella.
When the waitress headed back to the bar, Ned turned to Bella. “Why don’t you describe your fantasy man to us? Maybe Justin and I know him. We could set you up.”
Even as his friend spoke, Justin knew there were no men of his acquaintance he would consider good enough for Bella.
Justin grinned when she hesitated, spying a way to explore that complaint she’d made about her ex earlier. “Yeah, Bells. Give us every dirty detail.”
Bella tilted her head. “Are you asking for personality traits or sexual positions?”
Justin gestured to Ned. “I suspect he means personality, but I don’t think that will help you much. If this past lover bored you so much in bed, maybe we need to start with sex and work our way back from there.”
Ned gave him a dirty look, obviously thinking he was crossing a line, but Justin ignored it. Mainly because there was a shortage of blood in his brain. His cock had decided it was time to join the party about an hour earlier. He was sporting one hell of a woody and it was damn uncomfortable. His jeans weren’t exactly loose.
Bella shook her head. “I’m not about to feed your twisted fantasies, Justin.”
Justin leaned closer to her, reaching across the table to grasp her wrist as she went for her beer. The tight grip halted her movement—and drove the most beautiful flush to her cheeks. She didn’t try to release herself, though Justin’s sudden hold had definitely confused her.
Actually, Justin didn’t think it was the grip that confused her. It was her reaction to it. It made him wonder if she understood her needs at all.
“Tell us what you like in bed, Bella.” Justin was usually the most affable man on the planet, and he only ever used this deep tone when they were playing at the club.
“Justin.” Ned’s voice was quiet, but the caution was apparent. They were Bella’s bosses and she was their most valuable employee. Ned had just given Bella shit for starting an affair with her trainer, calling it unprofessional.
Jesus, the line Justin wanted to cross with her would blow that out of the water.
His grip on Bella’s wrist was unrelenting. Her eyes narrowed briefly before she licked her lips. “I want what any girl wants. For a man to sweep me off my feet.”
Justin knew plenty of women who didn’t want that. Mistresses at the club who preferred men who licked their boots and bent over to please them. Of course, now that he thought about it, perhaps that was their equivalent of being swept off their feet. “Do you mean you like a man who takes charge of the date, picks you up, pays?”
She nodded.
“What else?”
For a moment, he didn’t think she’d reply. Then she took a deep breath and told Justin exactly what he’d been waiting to hear. “I want a guy who isn’t shy about taking what he wants in the bedroom without constantly asking permission—to kiss me, to take off my shirt, to touch me. It gets really tedious and throws me completely out of the moment. I swear, the last couple of guys I slept with were totally macho until we hit the mattress. Next thing I know, I’m lying next to passive puppy dogs, waiting for me to make all the moves. Did someone tell you guys in sex ed. that women want to take the lead all the time? That females are only attracted to men who just lie there?”
Justin chuckled. “I must have skipped school the day they taught that lesson.”
Bella gave him a sure you did look. “Right. Of course. I’m pretty sure that’s what all men think.”
Ned groaned. Bella had thrown down a challenge, something Justin had never been able to resist, and his friend knew it.
Justin tightened his grip. “Do you need proof?”
For the first time, Bella sought to escape his hold. Justin hesitated for just a moment before common sense kicked in and he released her.
“Hell no.” Her strong voice was betrayed by her eyes, which darted around the room, looking anywhere except at them.
Justin’s lighthearted chuckle slowly returned things at the table to normal. Bella flashed him a look, pretending to be annoyed at his teasing. “Very funny.” Her tone told him she wasn’t angry, but the flush on her cheeks proved she was definitely feeling something else that was making her hot.
Ned sighed. Justin had managed to break the sexual tension.
For now.
Justin had been best friends with Ned since college. They’d shared a dorm room, then an apartment and, after graduation, the running of their marketing business. And more lovers than Justin could count. They’d stumbled upon the concept of a threesome during their freshmen year in college, when a senior girl set her sights on both of them at a frat party. She’d taken them upstairs to an empty bedroom and opened their eyes to a world neither of them had ever wanted to walk away from. While they occasionally took lovers separately, they preferred sharing women.
Secretly, Justin hoped it would always be that way, but he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject with too-serious Ned. Despite his kinks in the bedroom, Ned tended to view the rest of the world through conservative eyes. He believed in professionalism and—Justin feared—traditional marriages, though they’d never discussed that.
They were thirty-seven, and his friend had recently started talking about his plans for the future. Like Justin, Ned’s goals included finding a woman, settling down and starting a family. The only thing was, Justin didn’t know where he fit into that equation, so he’d kept quiet about what—actually, w
ho—he wanted to include in his future.
Awkwardness aside, Justin wasn’t finished with this conversation. Now that they’d opened the door, he was ready to walk in. “You realize you’ve basically given us nothing to go on, Bells.”
“Of course I have,” she insisted.
Justin shook his head. “You want a guy to take charge in the bedroom. That could mean anything from taking the top in missionary style, to tying you to the bed and playing with you until you come twenty times.”
Bella’s eyes widened slightly. “Oh wow. Um…yeah…I think I’d like that second thing.”
Despite how unwise this discussion was, there was something so refreshingly innocent about Bella that Justin found difficult to resist.
In the past, he’d enjoyed the company of experienced submissives, understanding Ned’s need to control a woman. Justin usually went along for the ride because he possessed more than his fair share of dominance as well. It was a fun way to pass the evening, but there was no challenge with the lovers they’d chosen. There were no emotions either. It was purely physical. Lately, Justin felt unsatisfied at the end of an evening and he always left the club wanting more.
One glance at Ned revealed his friend was suddenly starting to notice what Justin had been seeing for months. Ned’s gaze sharpened on Bella’s expression. Justin could imagine what his friend was reading in her light blush and the way she kept licking her lips. It wouldn’t take Ned long to recognize the truth.
Then Ned surprised him by entering the conversation. “Bondage is just one example of taking charge, Bella. The man could also order you to take off your clothes, and then punish you if you don’t comply.”
“Punish me?” Her question came out as a whisper that had Ned leaning closer as he responded.
“He would tug down your pants, pull you over his lap and spank you. Either with his hand or a belt.”
Bella fell silent for just a moment before her feminist side found her voice again. “Hell would freeze over before I gave a man that much control.”