by Lace, Lolah
“Be right back.” Bash beamed and jogged over to the passenger seat of his own car. I walked over to the wood and iron bench at the entrance of the restaurant. I sat and watched as the guy’s girlfriend ambled over to where I was. I guess I could be friendly since her man had completely ignored her. But no, I won’t.
The car’s doors closed. I watched as some stranger backed out of the parking space in Bash’s Porsche. Bash lowered the passenger window and had the nerve to wave at me as they drove off. I wanted to be mad but I didn’t have any reason too. What if Bash dies in a car accident? Who the hell is this young guy driving him around? Does this guy even have a driver’s license? Oh my god, I sound like someone’s mother.
I was thinking like a crazy person when I felt her eyes on me. “My boyfriend really likes cars.” She speaks. “I guess your boyfriend does too.”
“He’s not my boyfriend. We’re just on a date.”
“Oh he seems like he really likes you.”
“Yeah maybe.” Why was I being such a bitch? Stop it! “I’m Nina.”
“I’m Karen and my boyfriend is Rick. We’ve been together for a year.”
Not even sure why she shared that. “That’s cool.”
“Yeah he’s like the best boyfriend I ever had. He’s supercute. He looks like Colton Haynes.”
I shook my head. Who the hell is Colton Haynes? I guess some white boy that looks just like this white boy.
I listened for about ten minutes as Karen rambled on and on about her relationship with Rick. It wasn’t that bad. It took my mind off of my missing date. Karen and Rick seemed innocent enough, just young. From what I saw of Rick they made a decent looking couple. They were both young pretty white people. That was all I could gather from a few minutes.
Bash returned with Rick behind the wheel. The geeked young man whipped into the same parking spot. The duo emerged from the car donning huge smiles. Ugh, this man car love stuff is so gross. I only had seconds to decide if I would act pissed. I wasn’t like ten minutes sitting on a bench next to Karen was torture. It was like a bathroom break or watching a whole bunch of commercials. Pretending to be mad seemed stupid. I vetoed that idea.
Everybody said their goodbyes and Bash and I drove off.
He glanced over at me when we were stopped at a red light. “Nina, I’m sorry I left you.” Damn he seemed like he was always reading my mind.
“It’s okay.”
“I want to explain. I have felt like a caged animal for years. But since I met you, I mean it’s just now, now I feel like I can be myself. The way I was before.” Bash turned back to the road even though the light hadn’t changed to green yet.
“Before what?”
“Uh the divorce.”
“Oh.” The light turned green and I was at a loss for words. The ride to my condo was quiet. So quiet I could hear my heartbeat. I wasn’t sure if I said something to warrant the silent treatment. A bell rang in my head. I never said anything foul. Maybe it was how I was acting. Bash was the one that started apologizing for leaving me high and dry. His blatant reserve scorched me. I didn’t like it.
Three lights and two stop signs later we ended up parked behind my garage.
“Bash, I wasn’t upset at all. You were only gone for ten minutes. I talked to Karen, the girlfriend and she was nice.” I was talking too much. I wanted old happy Bash back. Where did he escape too? I need cheerful Bash to return to me.
“Really?”
“I thought I sensed an attitude.” He said with one brow hitched up high.
“I’m a black woman. I always got a attitude.”
Bash laughed out loud and all the tension faded away. I didn’t laugh at my own jokes. I didn’t think I was all that funny. Half the time I was being serious and not trying to be funny.
“I can’t wait to see you again.” He professed with sincerity.
“I feel the same way.” I smiled and turned my body toward him. He reached over and put his hand on my bare thigh.
“It’s so easy being with you.”
“I bet you say that to all the ladies.”
Bash chuckled and I got sucked into his dimples. “No I have never said that to any human ever in this lifetime.”
“So you said it to some alien life forms in another lifetime?” Now it was my turn the hitch my brow high.
He grinned. “Maybe a extraterrestrial from a galaxy far far away.”
“Huh, so I’m special?”
“In so many ways.”
Stop! Why does he always say the right things? This guy right here.
“Nina.”
“Bash.”
“Come here.” His brow furrowed. We were back where we were yesterday. Bash telling me what to do. This time I knew better. This time I was going to inch my ass closer to Mr. Bossy Man.
I leaned into his driver’s seat. “Is this close enough?”
“No.” He smirked. “Come closer.”
I did as instructed. This time I was the one moving in for the kill. I kissed him. I parted his lips with my tongue. I sucked him deep into my mouth. I reached around and palmed the back of his neck and pressed his face into mine. I raked my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. I showed him what a future in Nina’s World feels like. I showed Mr. Dimples what a chocolate kiss really tastes like.
I’m not sure how long our lip-lock had gone on. I did know we fit together perfectly. I did know I wanted more than a kiss. But, but, but I’m going to be good. I’m going to go into my condo. Alone.
I left Bash with a smile on his face, plus the taste of Nina on his mouth. Bash was complicated and simple. He was what I needed right now. He was Bash.
That night I lounged in the bathtub and thought about how devastated I would be if he stopped talking to me. Stupid thoughts that feed my insecurities. Buck up bitch! A quick pep talk to push my confidence to the forefront.
Men do things that make no sense at all. You can be into them and think they’re into you. Then they disappear without an explanation. It’s happened to me. It feels terrible. Apparently there were other women in the front row when I was in the nosebleeds. I knew I liked Bash more than I should but since I never felt this way before I decided to just say fuck it. Feel what you feel. When the feeling is so good.
Damn, it feels good.
I had a text. I should stop bringing my cell into the bathroom. I sat up too quick and water splashed out of the tub into the floor. I dried my hands on the nearby towel and grabbed my cell off the rack by the tub. I swiped.
[Can’t wait to taste your lips again. Sweet dreams beautiful.]
My cheeks ballooned. Oh my. I stared at his text and reread it four times. I’m turning into a soft ass goo-goo gaga chick. Ugh! I can’t stand myself. Whatever. What should I text back?
I typed. [Same here.] I looked at my text and hit DELETE on all these dumb ass letters. That was stale and stupid. What? What? What?
Think nasty. Think of something that will make his dick hard. Okay. I reread his text.
I texted. [I can’t wait for you to taste my other lips. Sweet dreams…Sebastian.]
Oh that was good.
My fingers hovered over the send button. I checked my text for spelling errors. I quickly debated if I should send this explicit message.
SEND. The debate was over sooner than later.
Deep breaths. I smiled, placed my cell back on the shelf and inched myself down in the water up to my shoulders.
My text alert sounded in seconds. This time I only dried one hand. I grabbed the phone as my heart drummed.
[That would be my sweetest dream.]
Mr. Vandervol, damn you. I closed my eyes and soaked up the image of Bash’s face in between my thighs.
I let him have the last word. Although no one would ever call me submissive I know when to shut my mouth. I thought about pleasuring myself. I decided against it. I wanted desire to build up inside me. When that day comes for Bash to take me I wanted to feel it in my toes.
I
wasn’t sure how long I was in the bathtub. I woke up and the water was freezing cold. I wasn’t sure why I woke until I heard the banging at my front door. It had to be late. I popped up and grabbed my towel. I dried off quickly. Bash was here. I guess he was going to taste my nether lips sooner rather than later.
I looked in the mirror to make sure I wasn’t hideous. I was still cute, just a little cold. I quickly wrapped the towel around my wet body, folded and tucked the top. I grabbed my cell and I didn’t have any more texts. I placed my cell on the sink. I didn’t have any pockets. I rushed from the bathroom and headed to the front door.
Panic hit me when I looked into the peephole. No! No! Motherfucking no!
“I know you’re home.” David’s voice came from the opposite side of my locked door. My eyes glided down to the chain. “Nina, let me in.”
I saw David outside my condo complex when Bash was waiting outside my garage. I had forgot all about him. Bash had blocked David from my thoughts.
“David. I have a restraining order.”
“I don’t give a fuck about that.”
“Get the fuck away from my door!” The prospect of new dick gave me life. David didn’t have a chance in newly renovated hell. I was on Team Bash.
“Let me talk to you girl.”
“Get the fuck on before I call the police.”
“You gonna call the white man on me?”
Well it ain’t too many black cops out here so yeah a few white men are bound to show up if I dial 911 on that ass. I didn’t say that, the truth.
“David leave me alone. I’m going to call the police.”
“I seen you drive off with that white dude in the Porsche.”
“I don’t care.”
“You hooking now?”
This motherfucker is an asshole. He knows I don’t need any man’s money. “I’m getting my phone. I’m calling them right now.”
“Bitch!” I heard him yell as he kicked my door. The brutal thud made me jump out of my skin. I walked away from the door. I scurried into the bathroom and grabbed my cell from sink’s countertop. I’m too old for this mess. I held my cell. I counted to twenty. I went onto my bedroom. It was pitch black and I didn’t bother the flick on the light.
I made my way to the window without stubbing my toes. I stared out the window praying to get a glimpse of David’s Escalade leaving my complex. I held my cell so tight I got a cramp in my hand. I exhaled and loosened my grip. I watched out my window. There he was leaving the premises. Thank God.
CHAPTER 9
NINA
★MONDAY★
I didn’t get much sleep last night. I worried that David would come back and I would actually have to call the police and get him locked up. That was my last resort. I didn’t want him to go to jail. I just wanted him to leave me alone. There’s no way in hell he liked me that much. If he did he wouldn’t have been out in them streets so tough.
I was tired but I still made it to work on time. I couldn’t concentrate. I let that no good David Jenkins invade space in my mind.
I had blocked all of his numbers on my cell but that didn’t stop him from calling my job. I wasn’t quite sure what to say to him that hadn’t already been said. We were over. I couldn’t pinpoint why he felt otherwise. He called and I hung up as soon as I heard his voice. I repeated this three times this morning. Finally he stopped calling. I didn’t want my assistant screening my calls. I didn’t want her all up in my business like that. Janice is cool but we not that cool.
David didn’t understand. I knew he cheated on me before this last time. He didn’t know I had tried to distance myself from him more than once. I understood he was in the music industry and that’s why I gave him a pass when I found out about the first chick. She called me and I never mentioned it to him because I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. Side chicks always feening to hit center stage. I wasn’t about to let her move into the lead role when she was a nothing ass understudy.
I didn’t love David. I never did. When he professed his love for me I said it back but it was a lie. I was lying. I’m always cautious with men. I never fall hard and so quickly. That’s just not my style. Maybe I shouldn’t have said I love you back. Too late now. I guess he really thought I loved him. My life is plagued with what ifs and maybes.
It was hard to give much thought to David when all I had was Bash on the brain. I blocked David from my mind and focused on my work and Sebastian. I had never been so profoundly affected by a man before. I found it hard to concentrate and as my workday went by I found myself replaying and reliving moments I spent with Bash. I even wondered if he maybe did the same. I thought about him more than I should and the feelings were exciting and scary. Having feelings for him of any kind were terrifying.
I had finally got a chance to block Blondie out and focus completely on my job when my assistant knocked on my door. I wondered why she didn’t call first but she had a distinctive knock that I easily recognized. It was all chipper and shit.
“Come in!” I called out to her. Janice bounced in. She was so white girl cheerful. I noticed the huge bouquet of flowers before I noticed the huge grin plastered all over her face. One of my eyebrows stretched toward the fluorescent light fixtures.
My ghetto brain said, who that for? My mouth said. “Are those for me?” I knew they were. Janice would have sent me a picture in a text if they were hers. She’s twelve years younger than me. She loves to text me. I don’t think she’s ever received flowers at the office. Damn, have I? No, I haven’t. That’s messed up.
“Yes yes. They are for you of course.” She was excited. I wasn’t. Looking at the flowers just put David back on my mind. Ass of a hole. Ugh!
“Who are they from?” I asked with the enthusiasm of a zombie.
“I don’t know. I didn’t read the card.” Janice placed the huge bouquet on my desk and snatched the enveloped card from the side. She handed it over to me. Her eyes grew large. You would think these were for her.
I opened the envelope and removed the card. It read: Nina, these flowers smell sweet but you smell delicious. I hope you’re free for lunch. I will be there in an hour. XOXO Sebastian Vandervol.
Sighs all around. Not really because I read the card to myself.
“Who’s it from?” I almost forgot Janice was standing there.
“This guy I’ve gone on a few dates with.”
“You met someone?”
“Ah I guess so.” I dismissed my connection to him as nothing.
“He sent you flowers. That is so romantic.”
“I guess so.”
“You deserve a good guy. You are super-duper-fly.” Is she trying to talk slang again? She bent to smell my flowers. Did I even tell her David and I broke up. I must have.
“You do too Janice.” I wanted to tell her she had a much better chance of finding a man. She was young, white, thin and blonde. She had a decent job and statistically speaking she had a much better chance than any black woman. I knew it was true but I would never keep it real like that with her.
Janice babbled on and on but I blocked her out. Sure it was rude of me but she was younger than me. We just didn’t have much in common. As soon as she left my office my heart went into beatbox mode. Was Bash really going to show up here?
I grabbed my purse out the bottom drawer of my desk. I removed my small makeup bag. I started doing a quick reapplication of my make-up. I didn’t wear much regularly. But I was at work and wearing a snazzy pinstripe suit. I had my fresh professional face on today. I realized Bash had never seen me like this. I hoped he liked this version of me. Was he really coming here at noon?
Time passed turtle slow. I checked my cell a dozen times and he had never called or texted. Huh. Well it was eleven, fifty-four. I jumped in my chair when my office phone rang. I answered it before it could ring again.
“Janice.”
“Ms. Norwood there is a Mr. Vandervol here to see you.” She is so professional. I love Janice.
�
��Thank you. Please send him in.” I hung up. Janice’s desk wasn’t all that close to mine. It would be a few seconds before he got to my office. I started my massive panic attack. I looked around the room. My office was always tidy and organized. I hated clutter. I was a neat freak and another kind of freak too but that was TMI.
Time to pretend to be busy. Janice opened my door with a one hundred and twenty watt smile. She ushered Bash into my office.
“Mr. Vandervol.” She was gawking dead at me but saying his name.
“Thank you, Janice.”
“Door open or closed? I’m thinking closed.” Janice grinned.
“Closed is fine.” I held in my delight. I refused to give Bash eye contact in front of Janice.
I waited until she pulled the door shut to take in a breath. Okay here we go.
“Mr. Vandervol. You found me.”
“I did.” He stood. I stood. We were standing.
He was wearing a pinstripe suit. I was wearing a pinstripe suit. We were sort of matching. It was weird. His suit was so blue it was almost black. He was wearing a rusty peach shirt underneath his suit jacket. I had never actually come across that color before today. Did it have a name? He looked shitty sharp, dapper don, all that and a bag of Doritos with hot sauce.
“Thank you for the flowers.” Should I have called him? I reckoned I would thank him in person. Was that proper etiquette? “They are lovely.” I said to squash my rabid thoughts.
“You’re welcome.” He looked down at the flowers and dismissed my appreciations. His eyes were back on me. “You look pretty tasty this afternoon. Step from behind the desk. I want to see you from head to toe.”
I did as commanded. I was sharp as an office tack. At least I thought so. I even did a full pageant turn. I stood there smiling. Bash wasn’t smiling at all. Why? I wonder.
He turned his back on me and headed for the door. Where is he going?
Nowhere.
His hand moved to the doorknob. He locked my office door. He turned back to me. His eyes barred into mine stealing my breath. Oh my.
“I missed you.” He proclaimed.
“I missed you too.”