Destiny (The Academy Series Book 1)

by D. D. Larsen

  I don’t want to get into details because I know that’ll only hurt Mark more but, somehow, I can’t help myself.

  “We were like animals tearing at each other’s clothes. There was this need in me I had never felt before or since. It was fast and full of desperation. As soon as it was over, he pulled on his pants and left. Just walked out the door. I was so confused and shameful, I never told anyone. I couldn’t explain it to myself, let alone anyone else. I dressed quickly then snuck out to the car before anyone could see me. I texted Tollen that I was in the car and wanted to leave. I never went back to another Academy party.

  “That month, I was late. I was terrified. I knew you would step up no matter what, but I was being eaten up by guilt. I had already felt trapped, and when I thought I could be pregnant, it pushed me over the edge. That was when I realized I didn’t want to be trapped in this small town.

  “It turned out to be a false alarm. I didn’t talk to anyone, even then, because I didn’t want anyone to try and bring me back. I was running away. Now I am running back.”

  We say nothing for a long time. I know I fucked up.

  He stands up and looks at me. There is pain in his eyes. “Jamie, I had hoped that we could at least be friends. You were such a big part of my life and I missed having you to talk to. But I am going to need time to decide if we can be.”

  On that, he walks off the back patio without looking back.

  Chapter 7:

  I have really made a mess of my life. Would it have been so bad to marry Mark and live in this beautiful place? I had it all and then I just threw it all down the drain.

  That night still haunts me. Why didn’t I just walk out? What drove me toward that boy I had never met? Was I so desperate to get out that I had to sabotage myself?

  As I have done a hundred times before, I try to pack it away in a little box in hopes I will forget about it.

  Maybe I should just go back to the city, or a new city, get a different job, start fresh. Why do I still feel so drawn to this damn town, even after what happened?

  I spend such a long time thinking about it that by the time I bring my latte to my lips, it’s already cold. The chair next to me scrapes on the ground as it is pulled out. I look over to see Roberta sitting down.

  “Are you all right, honey? You’ve been out here staring at nothing for the last hour.”

  I’m about to tell her I’m fine and not to worry, but then I think of the look on Mark’s face. I can’t stand to hold it inside anymore.

  I spill it all.

  Everything. When I’m done, she stares at me for a long time, not speaking. Then, she slowly rises from the table.

  “Well, haven’t you gotten yourself into a right pickle. I think this is a conversation that needs refreshments. I will be right back.”

  A few minutes later, Roberta returns with two iced chais and two chocolate-covered coconut macaroons.

  “All right, Jamie, let’s start with an easy fix. You said you want to stay in town? How would you like to work for me a few mornings a week?”

  Of all the directions I thought the conversation would go in, this was not one I expected. But now that she mentions it, I have been thinking of getting a part time job until I figure out what I want to do. Books and coffee, two of my favorite things.

  I raise an eyebrow. “Are you just making this position because you feel bad for me or do you actually need help?”

  “You’re a smart girl, which is one of the reasons I have always liked you. To answer your question, I’ve been thinking about hiring someone else to help me through the summer. It would be nice to have a few mornings off a week. Plus, it will help me keep an eye on you.”

  I’ve always loved this place and I am not ready to start looking for a full-time job yet. “Yes Roberta, I’d love to work for you. That way, I can make a little money.”

  Roberta nods. “All right, now that we have that done, what else? Why did you feel you needed to leave?”

  For the next few hours, we go through each problem one by one, and at the end of it, I feel better, clearer. I know talking about it isn’t going to fix anything, but at least my thoughts aren’t as jumbled as they were.

  First things first, I need to repair my friendship with Tollen. She was my best friend and I don’t know much about her anymore at all. I don’t even know who her husband is.

  But by the time we’re done, the sun is setting, so I decide to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will begin to fix everything.

  I wake up the next day with a mission. After ignoring Tollen for seven years, I’m going to try and get her to go to dinner with me. I know if I can just talk to her, we can repair our friendship. Hopefully.

  My mom told me that Tollen works at one of the art galleries in town. I feel kind of bad ambushing her when she is at work, but she hasn’t returned any of my texts or calls. Although, I don’t blame her, since I ignored her for seven years.

  As I open the door, the bell over the door rings. I know she is alone because I have been waiting outside for an opportunity when there isn’t anyone else in the shop.

  She calls a cheery, “One second!” from the back as I take a moment to look around. On the wall to my right, there are nature photographs of the beauty that surrounds our town. People take it for granted when they see it every day, but it really is mesmerizing. On the other wall, there are paintings of Colorado’s nature and mountains, done in different styles.

  I’m studying a watercolor painting of a wolf when I hear feet shuffle behind me. Tollen rounds the corner with a big smile on her face, which instantly dies when she sees me. Again, I don’t blame her, but it still hurts.

  “What do you want, Jamie?”

  Maybe this is a bad idea.

  No, I’m here, and it’s never going to get any better if we don’t talk.

  “Tollen, I just want to talk, but you won’t respond to any of my texts or calls.”

  “Feels pretty shitty, doesn’t it?”

  “Okay, I deserved that. And a lot more. What I did was shitty, and my reason for doing it will probably not be enough, but I’m asking you to give me a chance. Let me take you to dinner and at least tell you my side of the story.” For the next moment, a debate takes place behind her eyes. Finally, she sighs.

  “Fine. You have one shot, so don’t mess it up. Toby’s dad doesn’t work tonight so I can ask him to watch her. I’ll text you my address and you can pick me up at six. And I will be ordering at least three drinks, so no cheaping out on me.”

  With that, an older couple comes in, and I know our conversation is over. She said yes to dinner at least. It’s a start.

  Chapter 8:

  What do you wear to dinner with the best friend you’ve ignored for the last seven years?

  I really didn’t think she would say yes and now I’m panicked about the details. I want to keep it casual, but don’t want to look cheap. I decide on the Italian restaurant and call ahead to make a reservation.

  Opting for a nice pair of jeans, tank top, and sandals, I head to my car so I can pick up Tollen. As I start to drive, my hand goes to my necklace and I will myself to be strong. This is going to be rough, but I must face my previous actions if I want to stay in town.

  Fifteen minutes later, I pull up to a small house situated up on the hill right outside of town. The house is light blue with a white fence surrounding the front garden. As I get out and walk to the front door, I get a better look at her garden. It’s beautiful. Flowers of every color pour out of the beds and there is a vine climbing up a trellis with a bench under it.

  As I am thinking it would be the perfect place to sit and read a book, the front door opens and Tollen appears. She’s traded her work clothes for jeans and a T-shirt. Happy that I went with jeans instead of a dress, I raise my hand to wave.

  She doesn’t respond, just turns around, locks her door and heads to the passenger side of my car. Neither of us say a word during the short drive or as we’re first seated at the table.

/>   After our waiter comes over for our drink order, I finally decide to break the silence.

  “Let me just start by saying, I’m sorry. I know it will never be enough, but I really am sorry. I had my reasons for leaving, but I could have at least talked to you.”

  I’m interrupted as our waiter brings our drinks. As I say thank you and begin to talk again, Tollen cuts me off.

  “You know the whole world doesn’t revolve around you. We’ve all been fine without you and we’ll be fine again as soon as you run off again.” Grabbing her drink, she takes a sip.

  Okay, maybe I’m going about this the wrong way.

  “Why don’t you tell me about Toby? She is adorable.”

  At the mention of her daughter, she brightens slightly. She smiles. “I was finishing up my degree when I found out I was pregnant with her. Luckily, she waited until after finals to be born. I’d already planned on moving home but when I had Toby, I knew I wanted to be around family. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You know, all I ever wanted to do was be a mother. I lived with my parents originally, but as soon as we could afford it, we moved out.”

  She finishes and I realize she didn’t mention anything about a father or a husband. My curiosity is piqued, but this is not the time to dig for information. So, I give her my life update, not really sure she cares, but it’s better than sitting in silence.

  I finish with, “Pretty much as soon as I arrived back in town, I realized how much I missed it here. So, I’ve decided to stay.”

  I can tell my last sentence shocks her. She expected me just to pop back into town for a little while and then leave again. From my track record, it would be an accurate assumption.

  We order food and I try to keep the conversation light, but she isn’t biting. She is clearly done with me. As dessert arrives, I know I have to do something. Something drastic.

  “I know you think I went on to greener pastures, but I didn’t. It’s been terrible. I’ve always felt a part of me being pulled back, telling me I shouldn’t have left. I was scared that if I kept any contact, I would get sucked back. I missed you, and it broke my heart every time I ignored you, but I felt like I needed to be away. I’m only back now because it felt like it was time. Before I left the city, I had hit rock bottom.

  “I slept with my boss. Let me finish before you start judging me. I fell in love with him. I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with him and then he dropped me as if I was nothing. That was when I realized I had embellished our relationship. Or lack of relationship. On top of that, I despised my job. It broke something inside of me to realize what I had always dreamed of doing was not what I thought it would be. As things got worse, I realized I needed to return and be surrounded by the mountains.”

  Tollen, who’s working on the third drink I promised her, just stares at me.

  After drinking the rest of her wine in one big pull, she tilts her head at me. “Please tell me he was at least hot and not some fifty-year-old fat guy.”

  I can’t help but laugh. Tollen joins in as the reality of the situation sets in. My life is like a bad soap opera. Seriously, who has this much drama in real life?

  “He was very attractive and only in his early thirties. I was stupid and got attached and then he traded me in for the newer model. I feel incredibly stupid.”

  To my surprise, she takes my hand and looks me in the eyes, “We all make mistakes. We are human, it is what we do. But sometimes those mistakes turn into miracles.”

  We finish dessert and I drive Tollen home. The atmosphere in the car is less tense than it was on the way to the restaurant and I feel like we’re making progress. I don’t want to rush it, but I miss my best friend.

  As we pull up in front of Tollen’s house, I wait for her to jump out, but she just sits there. I can tell she wants to say something. I expected a lot of things to come out of her mouth but not what she says.

  It comes out in a rush, like she needs to get the words out as fast as possible.

  “Mark is Toby’s father.”

  What?

  Mark? As in my ex-boyfriend, Mark? The one that will probably never talk to me again after what I told him yesterday, Mark?

  Before I can find my words, Tollen gets out of the car, says thank you for dinner and heads toward her house.

  I have no right to be angry, but I am. Mark was always mine. We were each other’s. Even when I left, I still thought of him as my Mark. I know it’s not fair, and by no means did I stay away from other guys during the last seven years. But I’d never move in on my best friend’s boyfriend? She had to know that I’d be upset if I ever saw her again. Did she do it just to spite me?

  I have so many questions flying around in my head. I debate walking up to her door and demanding answers, but I’m too angry to talk to her right now.

  Instead I head to Roy’s, a local bar, for a drink. Typically, I’m not much of a drinker but at the moment I just need to forget, at least for one night. On top of everything, this is just too much.

  Ordering a Sea Breeze, I find a table in the corner and take the time to organize my thoughts. Or forget them. I haven’t decided yet.

  Time flies by, and I’ve had five drinks before I realize it. When I was eighteen, I thought life was so difficult and every little thing was such a huge deal. It wasn’t, but now my life is a true disaster.

  Alienate all my friends and make them hate me, check.

  Ruin my career by sleeping with my boss, check.

  Best friend and ex-boyfriend hook up which leads to a baby, check.

  Shit.

  Seriously what else could possibly go wrong?

  I need some air.

  I stand up to head outside. I’m a little wobbly, but somehow make it to the door. I know I can’t drive and there are no Ubers up here. Delaying the inevitable, I lean against my car and look up at the stars while I contemplate who to call.

  My parents will lecture me about being irresponsible, Mark hates me, and I still don’t think I can control my anger around Tollen.

  As if he could read my mind, someone says, “Do you need a ride?”

  I lower my eyes and stare directly into those yellow brown eyes I find so fascinating. Wren.

  I barely know this guy. Isn’t accepting rides from strangers when you’re drunk like the number one don’t on the list? But I really don’t have much of an option unless I want to wake my parents, since it’s close to midnight.

  “Sure, that would be great.” As I push off the car, I’m even more off-balance than before. I forgot to account for the higher altitude when I was drinking. I’m smashed.

  Tripping over my own feet, I wait to feel the gravel against my face but instead feel hands wrapping around my arms. Wren catches me and now I’m pressed up against his hard chest. I feel heat everywhere our bodies touch. The attraction I have been trying to squash between us flares up as I get a closer look at him. He is really tall. The top of my head comes only below his chin.

  Before I have time to think, I get up on my tippy toes and pull his lips to mine.

  An explosion of sparks ignites as our lips meld together. My body fills with a desire that I have only ever felt once in my life. I need him. Every cell in my body is screaming for me to take him. There is an animal need inside me clawing to get out.

  I try to pull him closer, but, at the same time, he holds me out at arm’s length. We are both breathing heavy and I can see the same desire mirrored in his eyes.

  He feels the pull, too.

  “Jamie,” he breathes. The way he says my name only makes me want him more. Nobody is around and I’m trying to see where we could go that isn’t in the middle of an open parking lot.

  As if reading my mind, Wren starts to talk. “We can’t do it here. Plus, when I have you again, I want you in my bed and I want you to remember.”

  Have me again? My brain feels fuzzier and fuzzier and my last thought before I black out is, Who is Wren?

  Chapter 9:

&nb
sp; I feel like death.

  I don’t open my eyes as I regain consciousness. Ouch. I knew I would regret drinking so much last night, but at the time it seemed like such an easy solution to all my problems.

  Seriously, I don’t remember feeling this bad before, even in college. Must be the higher altitude.

  After a few more minutes, I attempt to pry my eyes open. I need water and drugs.

  It takes me a second to realize I don’t recognize my surroundings. Quickly, I check to see if I am dressed and am relieved to find that I am. Where am I?

  I look around the large room and take in the dark wood furniture and the dark green bedspread I’m lying on. Everything looks expensive and the room is filled with neutral colors.

  Slowly, I ease out of bed and head toward the bathroom I see attached to the bedroom. As I walk in, I’m shocked by its size. It’s bigger than my bedroom at my parents’ house. I look longingly at the shower but decide to stick with splashing some cold water on my face.

  Feeling slightly more human, I go in search of the coffee creating the aroma I smell. As I put my hand on the door handle, it swings open. In front of me, Wren is standing there with two cups of coffee.

  The sense of need I feel every time I see him resurges. He hands me the coffee and heads to the other side of the room. Is he as affected as I am? Grateful for the coffee and the distance, I thank him. Why do I feel this way?

  I take a moment to take him in as I bring the warm coffee up for a drink. Everything about him screams danger. From his dark jeans to his stoic face, he fits the bad boy look perfectly.

  After a few moments of silence, he asks, “How are you feeling? After you passed out, I wanted to make sure you were all right. I brought you back here so I could keep an eye on you.”

  When I think back on last night, I remember dinner with Tollen, her admission about Mark, drinking too much … and then it gets a little fuzzy.