by D. D. Larsen
“About as good as I deserve. I way overdid it last night.” He nods in agreement. My eyes don’t seem to want to leave Wren’s as I watch him casually lean against the wall. His white t-shirt stretches across his chest. The faint outline of a tattoo is visible through his shirt, and I have the urge to run my hands over it.
Suddenly, I remember kissing him. I really did that, didn’t I? And he kissed me back. Yes, I am attracted to him, but there is also something that makes me nervous. Until I can figure him out, it’s best we don’t extend our relationship to the physical.
After a few more beats of silence, Wren says, “Well, if you are going to puke, please do it in the toilet. I’ll be downstairs when you are ready. I’ll drive you home.”
On that, he walks out of the room.
He is so strange.
And for whatever reason, that just adds to the appeal.
After finishing my coffee, I find my way downstairs, looking for Wren to drive me back to my car. As I walk through the hallways in the massive, modern house, I feel like I’m wandering through a labyrinth. I find Wren in the kitchen, finishing his coffee. He motions to the door and I follow him out to his car. His eyes dart around nervously to the forest as we step outside, but I see nothing to be concerned about.
A man of few words, he drops me at my car ten minutes later.
After I get out of his car, he rolls his window down and says the first words he’s said to me since he brought me my coffee. “Please be careful. You’re lucky it was me you ran into last night and not someone who could have taken advantage of you. I put my number in your phone. If you ever need another ride, call me.”
With that, he drives away leaving me to wonder. I pull my phone out of my pocket and check it. Sure enough, his number is there, under W in my contacts. How did he get through my Touch ID? I feel like I have whiplash from the hot and cold coming from Wren.
As I get in my car, I decide that I need more time to recover from my hangover before I head home. Breakfast it is.
Earlier that morning, after seeing multiple missed calls from my parents, I sent them a text saying I’d spent the night at a friend’s house. They will probably assume it is Tollen, since growing up, we were constantly sleeping at each other’s house. They don’t need to know everything.
I pull up at The Sundance, my favorite breakfast place. It’s still early so I have the place mostly to myself as I venture over to my favorite table in the corner. The table has a stunning view of the mountains, making it the perfect spot to enjoy breakfast.
Grateful for my second cup of coffee of the day, which the waitress poured the moment I arrived, I look over the menu, perusing the options to see if they’ve changed since the last time I was here. They haven’t.
As I’m debating between pancakes and an omelet, the doorbell jingles and I look up.
Shit.
It’s Mark and Toby. Before I can look away, my eyes lock with Mark’s.
No going back now. I wave them over.
Sometime in my drunken haze last night, I decided that if I want Tollen and Mark to forgive me, I will have to forgive them as well. Might as well start now.
Mark looks worried, but he directs Toby towards the table, holding her hand. She gives me a shy look.
Mark places her in a chair as he goes to find a booster seat.
Toby and I stare at each other. I have never been sized up by a three-year-old, but that’s how this interaction feels.
Mark comes back with a booster seat chair attachment. Once Toby is situated, he looks at me.
“Rough night?”
I realize I must look like crap. I couldn’t find a brush in Wren’s bathroom, so my hair is in a messy bun and I’m still wearing yesterday’s makeup.
“You might say that.”
To my surprise, Mark takes my hand. “Jamie, I’m sorry if I freaked out at you the other day. It was a shock and I have to admit I’m still not over the way we ended things. But I’m still your friend, like I’ve always been, and if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
Mark is such a nice guy, I forgot just how much of a big teddy bear he was. Before I can respond, Toby says something about Mickey Mouse Pancakes and whipped cream. Mark asks me what I want and then heads up to the bar to order, again leaving me with Toby. Something about that small gesture makes my heart warm.
For the rest of breakfast, we keep the conversation light as Toby makes a mess of herself, eating her food with her hands.
As we walk out, I feel better. Baby steps.
After Mark has Toby strapped into her car seat, he turns to me. “So, I take it Tollen told you about Toby being my daughter.”
I nod.
“I just want to let you know it only happened once. It was a few weeks after my dad died, I was upset, and she comforted me. We both had way too much to drink. I wouldn’t take it back. I love Toby, but I just wanted you to know. Tollen feels extra guilty about it; maybe you could talk to her.” I see hope in his eyes and wonder if there is something between them or Mark wishes there was.
He has no reason to feel ashamed. He didn’t cheat on me; we weren’t together and hadn’t been for a long time. But a selfish part of me is happy to hear it was only a one-night thing.
I lean in and give Mark a hug. “Next time you have a free day you should let me know. We need to catch up some more. Last time we only really talked about me; I want to hear what you have been up to. My number is the same, is yours?”
He nods, and I feel guilty like I did with Tollen.
I can tell from the look in his face what he’s thinking. Yes, I got every text and call, but I never responded.
Chapter 10:
It’s my first day working at Roberta’s, and I’m exhausted. I haven’t stopped moving for the last six hours. As noon rolls around, there’s finally a break in the traffic. I collapse on the couch. Roberta showed me the ropes a few days ago and I thought I had it down, but I didn’t expect so many people to stop in for their morning coffee.
Granted, starting my first day on a Saturday during tourist season was not my best idea. But I did it!
Just as I am getting comfortable, the bells over the door jingle. Fully stretched out on the couch and ready to die, I look up to see Wren’s face hovering above me.
A small flicker of a smile crosses his face before his typical serious look reappears. I start to get up, but he motions me to stay down.
He sits in the overstuffed armchair next to the couch and asks, “Busy morning?”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “I have no idea how Roberta does this all on her own, it was crazy busy all morning.”
“She is something special. Has more spunk and energy than someone a third her age.” I would agree with that. I don’t know why she hasn’t gotten help before now. But I suspect she only offered me the job because she knew I needed something to focus on, not because she needed help.
“You want coffee?”
His reply surprises me. “I actually came to see you.”
Why would he come to see me? Yes, he let me sleep at his house the other night, but we are still basically strangers.
I smile. “Well, you see me. What’s up?”
“You.”
I laugh. I’m about as down as one can get.
“I’m serious. I can’t seem to stop thinking about you.” He gets up and starts pacing. “You don’t seem to remember, but we kissed the other night. I feel connected to you. It’s always been there, but it’s gotten stronger since you returned.”
My tired brain is trying to follow his words. Since I returned? But I had never met him before I came back home. Had I?
Wait. Hadn’t he said that before, when I was drinking? What does that mean?
The bell above the door dings, altering me to more customers.
Wren walks over to the counter as I do. He pulls me in roughly and slams his lips against mine, hard, pulling away just as quickly.
He wags a finger at me while I try to stop my k
nees from wobbling. “We need to talk, in private.” Then he walks out the door.
What the fuck?
I do my best to compose myself so I can help the family that just walked into the shop.
Yeah. I’d say we definitely need to talk.
Roberta comes in at 2 pm to relieve me and we share a cup of tea while discussing the morning. I tell her I don’t know how she still works this hard at her age, since I’m practically dead on my feet. She gives me a knowing smile and tells me to enjoy my afternoon.
As I walk out the door, my phone rings. I answer it without looking since I’m too busy trying to find my keys in my purse.
“Hello?”
The voice that replies is not one I expected, nor is it one I thought I would ever hear again.
“Hi Jamie, I get the feeling you were expecting someone else.”
I would recognize his voice anywhere. I was in love with him. How could I forget it?
My voice comes off a little harsher than I planned. “Hello, Liam. What do you want?”
“Can I not check in to see how you are?”
We haven’t talked in months, not since he told me that what we had was just a hookup and was over. And he thinks now is a great time to check in? Who does he think he is? He made it very clear that he didn’t want a relationship.
“No, Liam, you can’t.”
There is a pause and then his voice comes through the line, quieter than before. “I miss you, Jamie.”
God dammit! As if my head wasn’t already screwed up enough. I throw on my mental armor and pull out my claws before replying.
“You do not have the right to call me and tell me that, Liam. You made it clear we were nothing more than temporary fuck buddies, and I have moved on. Please don’t call me again. I’m sure your new girl can keep you entertained.”
On that, I hang up and let out a frustrated scream. Who does he think he is?
Now that I am not easily available, he wants me again. But for how long? I’m sure he can find another way to get laid. Why is he bothering me?
I get in my car and start driving, but I don’t head home. Instead, I head towards one of my favorite trails. I need to clear my head.
I pound my feet aggressively against the ground as I wind through the trees along the path. Even being out in nature isn’t helping the fury building inside of me.
How dare he?
It’s been months since we’ve talked. I never even told him I was leaving town. I wonder if he just realized I was gone and that is why he called. I’ve only been home for nine days, even though it feels much longer with everything that has been going on.
My phone dings and I see a text from Wren. Hey, is all it says. When did he get my number? Probably when he was busy entering his into my phone.
A guy is the last thing I need right now. This is get-Jamie’s-shit-together time, not boy time. Maybe in a few months when I feel more settled, but not now. I feel as if I am back for a reason, and I need to be focused on that.
I increase my pace so my body doesn’t have the energy to think about any of the boys that are currently tormenting me.
I arrive at the waterfall, my destination, in record-time. It doesn’t have a name, as this trail isn’t even on any map, but it’s a local secret and the perfect place to get away from it all.
Sweaty and hot from the trip, I decide to cool off in the water. The pool below the waterfall isn’t deep enough to swim in, but you can get under the spray of the cascading falls. After I undress, I wade in. It’s cold but the hot sun offsets it. As I approach the stream of water, I stick my head under it, letting the icy water spill over my shoulders as I hope it melts the tension away.
This has been one of my favorite spots since I was little. One of the only times I remember doing something with my brother was when he brought me here. Now, I only come here to remember him and forget everything else. We may not have been close, but he was still my brother and I never really got a chance to get to know him.
I do remember idolizing him. Who doesn’t idolize their older sibling? He was on the thin and lanky side, but I remember thinking he was so strong. He would pick me up and hold me upside down by my ankles. He had the coolest green eyes and reddish blonde hair. I was always jealous of his unique look. Tons of people have blue eyes, but not many have green.
He was the spitting image of my father. I know my mom is constantly reminded of the son she lost when she sees my father. She never even had a body to bury. He has a headstone in the graveyard, but the ground underneath holds an empty casket.
I step out from under the water and catch something out of the corner of my eye. I blink a few times, not believing what I am seeing. A shot of adrenalin shoots through me.
A wolf stands at the edge of the water, watching me.
Shit. My skin prickles with goosebumps.
I look around to find something to scare it off with and notice a stick on the opposite bank. I wade over and grab it, then return my attention to the wolf. His coat is solid black with a small white spot on his forehead. And he is huge. I know wolves are not supposed to be small, but he seems larger than I expected. Probably because I am less than twenty feet away.
We stay this way for a long time, staring into each other’s eyes. His yellow eyes are a shocking contrast to his black fur.
The wolf shakes his head. What a strange thing for an animal to do. Then he slowly starts backing away. Once he is about fifty feet away, he turns around for one last look, then takes off running.
Holy fuck. I just had a staring contest with a wolf.
As the adrenaline from the encounter starts to wear off, I start to shiver. I realize the sun has gone behind the trees. It must be getting late.
I cautiously wade out of the pool and return to my clothes. Dressing quickly, I never take my eye off the direction that the wolf ran off in. Before leaving, I find a better stick to defend myself with. It may not be much, but I have a fourmile hike back to the car in the descending darkness and it’s better than nothing.
Using a quick pace, I head back down the trail to get to my car. In my haste to get back, I step on a rock wrong and roll my ankle, bad. I let out a cry and fall to the ground.
I chide myself for not going home and getting my hiking boots before I went out. All I could think about was getting away, clearing my head, but I know better than to go hiking unprepared like this.
I stand up. It hurts, but I can walk. As I hobble down the path, I pull my phone from my pocket. No service. I never texted anyone to tell them where I was going. Well, double fuck.
I brought a bottle of water, but it’s mostly empty. Using the stick as a cane, I slowly begin to make my way down the trail.
Using my internal gage, I would say I’ve already gone a mile, so I only have three more to go. But it’s slow going. I continue down the path, keeping my eyes and ears peeled for any sign of the wolf. My dad is going to freak out at me for being out here alone. Especially after Jacob.
An hour later, it’s almost dark, and now I’m freaking out.
There’s no doubt about it now. I’m not going to make it back to my car before it’s completely black outside.
Through the trees to my right, I spy a large rocky outcropping a few hundred feet in the distance. If I climb up on the rocks, I might be able to get service. I’ll never hear the end of how irresponsible I am, but I think my ankle is hurt worse than I originally thought and I need help.
I reach the top of the rock just as the last rays of sunlight disappear.
I pull my phone out and almost cry when I see the bars. Quickly, I dial my dad. He will know where I am and how to find me.
He answers in a worried voice. “Jamie, where are you?”
Tears start falling down my face. It’s so good to hear his voice. “Dad! I went hiking to clear my head and I rolled my ankle really bad . . .” Just as I am about to tell him where I am, the phone clicks. I pull it away from my ear. The display is dead.
Can I not
catch a break?
At least I was able to get out that I went hiking. He knows that this is one of my favorite places, so hopefully he will come looking for me.
Carefully, I climb down the rock. It is so dark out and the moon is just a sliver.
I make my way back in the direction of the trail. After about two hundred feet, the ground starts to slope downward. Ugh, I must have climbed off the wrong side of the rock!
I look behind me, trying to see the rock, but I can’t make out anything.
Well great, Jamie, now you lost the trail.
Suddenly, a loud howl pierces the air.
I am so fucked.
Chapter 11:
I’m cold, tired, and scared. I messed up big time and now I am lost in the forest, alone, in the middle of the night. Sitting with my back against a rock, legs pulled in for warmth, I curse my stupidity. I know better than this, yet here I am. Hurt, exhausted, and thirsty; oh, and did I mention I’m lost in the freaking forest. If my brain wasn’t so distracted by stupid boys, this never would have happened.
After another hour of wandering around, trying to find the trail or the rocky outcropping, or anything else that looks familiar, I give up. I’m probably just getting myself more lost. With the minimal light from the moon and stars and the thick trees overhead, I can barely see anything.
I find a place where my back is protected, a rock I can lean against, and hunker down, shivering. I will save my energy for the morning when I can at least see. After my call to my dad, he probably has half the town looking for me, but it’s still a long shot. Rocky Mountain National Park is huge. They don’t know which trail I am on, and my car is not on a road where anyone will pass it.
Tomorrow I’ll get myself back to my car and into town. For now, I’m just going to try and get some sleep.
As I lay on the cold forest floor, I promise myself that if I ever get out of this, I’m swearing off all boys for the time being.
Warmth.
I am engulfed in heat. I’m moving. Someone or something is moving me. My brain registers footsteps as each one jostles my body. Someone is carrying me.