Finally, one afternoon while high on morphine and painting, Gastien became so frustrated with his inability to “paint the energy” that he ate his paint. His altered mind convinced him that perhaps if he ingested the color he would truly become one with it; he would be able to better express the energy since it was finally inside of him. He ate Vermilion, which had mercury and sulfa in it.
Luckily, Sophie decided to stop over, catching Gastien in the process. When he looked up at her, she saw the red around his mouth and screamed. She thought it was blood. Mic was going upstairs; and hearing her, Mic rushed in. Seeing Gastien, he knew immediately what had happened because it was too red-orange for blood.
Mic dug his fingers into Gastien’s mouth. When he pulled them out they were covered with paint. Reaching in again, he found a glob of the paint and brought that out. Cursing his ami, he hauled Gastien out to the well. Mic quickly used old clothes soaked in water to get as much paint out of Gastien's mouth as possible.
Gastien was so high he could hardly function. Mic kept asking him what he was on. Gastien finally admitted that he had taken a very high dose of morphine, because of extreme pain.
Mic screamed at him, “DID YOU DRINK ALCOHOL, TOO, GASTIEN? WERE YOU STUPID ENOUGH TO MIX WHISKEY OR ABSINTHE WITH YOUR MORPHINE?” Gastien did not answer. Mic slapped him. “ANSWER ME! THINK! DID YOU DRINK TODAY?”
Gastien finally slurred, “Non…oui…ummm...” Then he slumped down in Mic’s arms.
Sophie was sobbing. She told Mic she was going to get a doctor. When the doctor came, he tried to get Gastien to tell him how much paint he had eaten.
“Don’t know,” he mumbled. “Don’t – wanted energy inside – I jus – “
“How full was the paint tube this morning? Do you remember that?” the doctor asked.
“Almost gone. Needed more. Quarter.”
The doctor looked at the tube. “Well, there is still some in there, so you did not consume a whole lot. You should be very thankful. Severe poisoning could have set in, had you eaten much more. Your ami pulled quite a gob out of your mouth. Even so, you have taken way too much morphine. We better take you in, do a gastric lavage, and then give you some ipecac syrup to make you vomit, too. That will get any remaining paint out.”
The doctor and Mic carried Gastien to the wagon.
“Where am I going?” Gastien cried, finally scared.
“You are going to get your stomach washed out and pumped,” snapped Mic. “Maybe that experience will be unpleasant enough that you use some common sense from now on!”
“I want the energy, Mic. I can’t paint the energy. I – “
“Just be quiet, and calm down. You are high.” Mic sighed. He tenderly ran his hand down Gastien’s face. “It is going to be all right. We just need to get the paint out of you, Gaz.”
The gastric lavage was very uncomfortable. Gastien knew he did not want to go through something like that again. He was also given ipecac syrup and a bowl to vomit in. Soon, he was heaving up the last of the watered down paint in his stomach.
Sophie asked Mic if he would go to Odette’s to explain to their son that Gastien was ill, and she would be staying with him tonight. She sat through the night without sleeping, watching Gastien. She wanted to make sure that he did not stop breathing. He was so zoned from all of the morphine that he was quite content to just lay in bed and stare.
The next day he promised Sophie, and himself, that he was done with all opiates. He knew the heartache he had just caused her. There was no way he wanted to put her and Mic through that again. Sophie went to work without any sleep. She was extremely relieved to know that Gastien was giving up those two drugs. The hashish and absinthe were bad enough at this point, she did not like dealing with the opiates, too.
Mic and Gastien painted together that day in Gastien’s studio. Gastien swore to Mic that he was done with opiates, and asked Mic to throw out his morphine pills. He went through several days of hell because he was becoming dependent on the drugs.
Finally, at the end of two weeks, he was over the worst of it. Gastien seemed to have made it back from the grips of the poppy.
XIX
Once Gastien turned 39, he started spending more and more time with Sophie, after she was done with work. He painted almost constantly when she was not around during the day. At night, he sometimes still went out to his favorite places, but he avoided the opium dens.
He suddenly realized that his sex drive had finally decreased to what most people would call normal. Gastien no longer felt the need to have sex with someone else if he did not see Sophie. Sometimes when they were together they did not have sex, either. It was actually quite a relief that his mind was not always occupied with needing sex. He found that he could finally fully appreciate other things in life.
Gastien tried to see his son more often now that he was not on opiates, but Tristan Michel was fifteen. He was starting to rebel against his father. He did not want to be anything like Gastien, and he let Gastien know it. When they did try to do things, Tristan Michel ended up angry at his father for one reason or another. It seemed like no matter what Gastien said, his son disagreed and got mad at him.
Tristan Michel did not come and stay now at Cassie and Vic’s, nor did he want to stay in the studio. He would meet Gastien and Sophie for dinner at times, or come for the afternoon, but he appeared so disinterested that they finally gave up on that, too.
When Gastien tried to talk to him about it he was shut out. All Tristan Michel would say is, “I don’t want to talk about it. You will do as you please anyway. Even if you changed now, that does not change your past.”
Gastien still told him that he loved him, but Tristan Michel never said it back anymore. Gastien kept hoping that this was just a stage during his son’s teenage years.
XX
Gastien turned 40. The winter passed. All of a sudden it was spring. He and Sophie had made plans on Thursday morning to go to Moulin Rouge on Saturday night. She would then stay with him overnight. In the morning, there would the usual Sunday dinner at Odette’s.
As they headed to the cabaret, Gastien could not stop admiring Sophie. Her thirties had been good to her, giving her an alluring look of a woman in full flower. She was still very small and slender, but her breasts were fuller; and she had hit her sexual peak. That she enjoyed being a woman, and the love making that went with it, were obvious in her walk. Gastien loved her more deeply than ever.
As they danced that night, they both stayed melded to the other as if to separate would cause each of them to die. They were in a world of their own, that world where lovers only hear the heartbeat of each other. They danced for several hours, mostly without talking. Holding each other close, they did not need to use words. They both knew the story of their love.
Finally, Sophie quirked her finger to Gastien. He bent down to hear her. “Take me to your studio now, Gastien. Take me there and make love to me,” she whispered. “I can’t wait any longer.”
Gastien kissed her and picked her up, once again carrying her out the door. They were both giggling as they left, heedless to what others may think of their dramatics. This night was just for them.
When they got home, Gastien slowly undressed her, teasing her with his mouth and tongue as he revealed each new part of her body. It took him a good half an hour. She was squirming with desire by the time he had her completely unwrapped. Like a choice piece of candy, he continued to taste her, ignoring her pleas to do more. Burying his face in her femaleness, he used the tongue as only he knew how.
Just when she was ready to explode, he pulled back, moved up and kissed her. She whined in frustration.
“Not so fast, Petite Oiseau. We have all night.”
“But I want you, Gastien!”
“Well, here I am! Do what you want with me. I am all yours.”
She undressed him then, and made sure he suffered as she had, taking her time with each item of clothing. There was not a spot on Gastien that did not get attentio
n from her lips and tongue, sometimes her teeth. When she had him fully naked it was her turn to drive him wild.
“Mon Dieu, woman! Have some mercy and take it fully in your mouth!” he cried out.
Sophie laughed softly. She refused to do so, instead tasting that tender part along the rim, until Gastien thought he was going to go insane.
Finally he had had enough. He moved away, threw her to the bed, and held her captive while he entered her deeply. They both gasped in pleasure. Gastien stopped, staring into her eyes.
“Sophie, I do believe you are the most beautiful woman in the world. You are even more beautiful now than in your twenties.”
Sophie smiled. “Oh, Gastien. There are many more glamorous than me. I know that.”
Gastien kissed her. “I did not say glamorous. I said beautiful. You are so beautiful on your own, you don’t need those extra helpers many use to become glamorous. You are just glorious the way you are.”
Sophie’s face lit up. “Merci, Gastien. I am glad you find me beautiful.”
“Keep looking into my eyes while I take you, Sophie. I want to see your face, and the pleasure I give you written on it, while I claim you as mine once again.”
They rode together for several minutes, gazing happily into each other’s eyes. They both cried out in pleasure at times. Gastien could not remember ever finding the deep satisfaction from sex that he was experiencing that night. As they reached their climax, it felt like the world was exploding into millions of tiny lights, each charged with their special energy.
He knew then that he must now have her with him all of the time. He no longer wanted to live alone. Gastien wanted to have Sophie with him, so that he could wake up and see her next to him in the mornings. They could share day to day life together.
He would also like Tristan Michel there, but wondered if Tristan Michel would feel the same. Gastien decided to tell her in the morning. Right now he was filled with such peace that he could not move. They fell asleep in each other’s arms.
The next morning they woke up early, and made leisurely love to each other. Sophie teased Gastien that it felt like they were on a second honeymoon.
“I don’t know why our lovemaking has such deep meaning to me this weekend, Gastien. It is like I have fallen in love with you all over again, only more intense. I do believe I could make love to you all day long.”
Gastien laughed happily. “I feel the same, even if I am getting old! I am not doing too badly for a forty-year-old this weekend, am I?”
“I don’t think you will ever have a problem with those skills! Besides, forty is not so old,” she assured him tenderly.
Gastien was quiet a moment. Then he confessed, “Sophie, I think I have finally grown up. I find I no longer need other women; have no desire for the raw, hard sex that used to rule me. I seldom even think of that now. I don’t think I have been with another woman for over a year.”
He kissed her face repeatedly. “I only want you! I want the kind of lovemaking that means something. The kind I have with you.” He smiled happily. “Sophie, if you can stand it, I would very much like you and Tristan Michel to move in with me. He may not want to, though.”
Sophie was filled with joy. At long last, she would be able to be with Gastien every single day! “Of course I will move in with you, Gastien! I just can’t believe you are asking me!” She was laughing and crying at the same time.
“Well, I am. I wish I could have sooner. The awful desire that I carried for so many years was not always fun. It consumed every part of my life. I must be getting old, because I don’t have the same need any more. However, I am quite glad about it. In fact, very glad! I even feel I will be able to balance painting with life a little better now!”
“Does that mean I won’t be getting sex very often? I don’t know if I will move in, then. I may have to replace you with someone younger,” Sophie teased.
“Don’t you worry about not getting enough sex,” Gastien retorted. “I said I am no longer driven insane by that drive, I did not say I was dead! I will give you every bit as much as you can take, and maybe a little more, woman!” Gastien started to play with her nipples. “In fact, if you don’t get out of bed and put something on, I may take you another time right now!”
Sophie playfully undulated her hips against him, quickly slipping out of bed when Gastien tried to do more. “Oh non you don’t, Gastien Beauchamp! We will be late for Sunday dinner.”
“Maybe I want to eat something else for Sunday dinner!”
“Well, I think I could use a bath more than I could use anything right now. Sorry, you are going to have to wait until Tuesday!”
“It is probably just as well anyway. I am just talking a good game. I am glad that I don’t have to prove my words.” He stood up and held her. “Sophie, this weekend…it meant even more to me than usual. I don’t know why, but for some reason I feel like our love is even deeper now.”
“I do, too. It was magic, this weekend. Like a moment frozen in time.”
After bathing together, they left for Odette’s. They wanted to get there before Odette and Tristan Michel left for mass. The discussion about moving in as soon as possible was something neither of them wanted to wait for.
XXI
Tristan Michel was less than thrilled about the news. He simply looked at them for a moment without speaking. Then he turned his back.
Gastien reached out and put his hand on his son’s shoulder.
“Tristan Michel, I would really like you to live with me. Will you please come?”
“How convenient for you, Father! I will be sixteen in about a month and done with school. After that, since I have been apprenticing with a builder, I can be out on my own. You did not want me for sixteen years, but now you want me to live with you. How generous! What you want is my mother, now that you don’t have to have me around for long.” He grimaced. “Non, merci. I will stay here.”
“Son, that is not true! I would not expect you to leave when you turn sixteen. Oui, you are old enough to work and be on your own. I know you are skilled enough. You can also go on to more school. However, you are welcome to stay as long as you like. I would be happy if you stayed until you are forty! I really would like to have you there.”
“And where would I sleep? On the floor, like a pet dog?”
“Non! Of course not! We would get you a bed. We would build you a bedroom, too. You could help design it.”
Tristan Michel’s look was steely. “I said I wanted to stay here at my aunt’s! Can’t you hear?”
Gastien dropped his hand. “Well, it that is what you want, that is how it can be. Think it over. Your mother would really miss you, Son, and I would like more time with you.”
“What would we talk about? How you almost overdosed? Or how you love to get drunk as often as possible, or high? Oh! Maybe you can give me some tips on how to find a wife, and then leave her at home while I bed other women! Perhaps you can share some pointers on seducing rich men’s wives.”
Sophie interjected, “Tristan Michel I won’t have you talking to your father like that! Our agreement was made openly between the two of us, and does not concern you.”
“But it does, Mother! It always has! Your ‘Gastien’ has been a source of ridicule and embarrassment for me all through school. I will not make it worse by moving in with him! Please go with him if you wish. I know you have waited a long time to do so. Truly! But don’t ask me to. I just can’t.”
Sighing, Sophie said, “We will talk about this later.”
At the end of the day, Sophie said, “I will see if I can talk some sense into him. It may take awhile.” She kissed him. “I am so happy that you want to be together now, Gastien! This feels like a dream! We will work everything out, just you wait and see!”
Gastien kissed her back. “Je t’aime, Sophie. I know things will work out, too. I am sorry that I am going home a little early. I am extremely tired today. I think I am lacking sleep.” He grinned. “I wonder why.”
Gastien hailed a cabriolet. He just did not feel like the long walk tonight. He was very frustrated with his son. Why did Tristan Michel have to make things so difficult?
Getting home, he went straight to bed. To top it off, he kept waking up cold throughout the night. Since he was half asleep, he did not get out of bed to turn on the stove. It is May, he thought stubbornly, it should not be that cold in here. He refused to get out of the covers to light the stove.
XXII
The next day, Gastien woke up with a terrible cold. He painted all day, but decided to stay in that night. He made soup, hardly touching it, and read. Mic stopped by to see if Gastien wanted to go out, but he declined.
He went to bed early and spent a miserable night. Gastien was so plugged up he could not breathe, yet his nose constantly ran. His head pounded. He was either throwing the covers off, drenched in sweat, or scrambling for more covers because he was freezing.
On Tuesday, Gastien got up to have a pastry and coffee, and then tried to paint. His head really hurt him. In addition, he felt dizzy. He wondered if there was anything more miserable than a spring cold. He forced himself to go get something for lunch, maintaining a polite distance from the shopkeeper. Once he got back to the studio, he managed to get most of it down. Soon he felt even dizzier.
He became warmer and warmer. By the time Sophie was crossing the street he was burning up and shaking quite violently. He felt like his insides were ready to melt.
Sophie took one look at him and knew Gastien was sick.
Gastien: From Dream to Destiny: A Caddy Rowland Historical Family Saga/Drama (The Gastien Series Book 2) Page 35