by Liz Lovelock
The only sound between Parker and me is the traffic. I need to leave, to run, to clear my head once again. Why does this keep happening?
“Don’t assume to know me, Parker, because you don’t. You actually know very little about me. See ya around.” I run off as fast as my legs will carry me.
Tears slide down my cheeks, and are left in the wind. Yet again, another conversation with Parker down the drain. He assumes so much. I also think he might know me better than I know myself. We may not have spoken much since our kiss last year, but I’ve always felt his focus on me. Following me. Appraising me.
Why, I’m not sure.
My phone alerts me to another message. I take it from my pocket.
“Urgh. Come on. Leave me alone.” Rolling my eyes, I delete the message from Hayden. He’s been non-stop with them lately.
“What a dick. Have you heard from Ella?” Elsie asks as we walk to our next class.
I stuff my phone back in my pocket. “No, not a word. We have a family dinner on Sunday, so it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out. Any time I’ve seen her here she quickly busies herself in an attempt to avoid me.” Not that I care too much for her at this point in time.
“What a cow. What kind of sister does something like that?”
I shrug. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“Look out, look out, there’s a tramp about.”
I look at Elsie, grinning at what she’s said. She’s giving death stares to someone, so I follow her line of sight, straight to Stacey standing in front of me. Her pouty red lips are plumped out, as though they’ve been injected with something to enhance them.
Stacey throws a hateful look to Elsie, who smiles pleasantly at her. “Shut it, bitch,” Stacey says.
“Can I help you with something, Stacey?” I question curtly, not allowing her to get under my skin.
Stacey laughs, and my hands twitch. I want to block my ears or maybe even slap her.
“You think Parker would go for someone like you? You better stay away from him. He’s mine!” Stacey says.
Now it’s my turn to laugh in her face. Elsie joins in, and I compose myself after a moment. “Stacey, I don’t know what drugs you’ve been smoking lately, but there’s no way I’d go near Parker in that kind of way…” I pause, placing my index finger over my lips as though I’m pondering something. “Are you sure he even wants you back? If he does, he’s stupid.”
Stacey stamps her foot like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum. “Pfft. He’ll come crawling back to me by the end of the week. He needs this. He loves it.” She gestures to her body.
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better,” I say before stepping around her and her two other misfits with their plumped up lips and dishcloths for clothes.
“Suck it,” Elsie hisses at Stacey as we stride away with our heads held high.
“Can you believe her?” I ask Elsie.
“I wonder why she’s got that thought stuck in her head. You don’t have anything to do with him, do you?” She speaks the last two words very slowly. Does she know something I don’t?
I shrug, shaking my head. “I don’t have anything to do with him. After he beat Hayden up, he walked me back to campus. I dropped him on his ass with a karate move, and he’s insulted me twice since then. So yeah, I’m fine not having anything to do with him. If he wants to go back to her, then I wish him all the luck in the world, because he’ll need it.” I purposely choose not to mention the way that Parker makes my chest squeeze tightly. Or how his touch ignites a swarm of sensations in my stomach. Those feelings are nothing but artificial, and they’re only happening now because I’m vulnerable after what happened with Hayden and Stacey.
Elsie stops. I grin at her as her mouth hangs open in shock.
“What?” I hold my arms out, shrugging, unsure of her sudden demeanor.
“He walked you back, and you dropped him?” A devious smirk spreads across her features, and I already know what she’s getting at.
“Nope. You clear that from your head right away.” I slap her shoulder and keep walking to English.
“Oh, come on. Why not have a little fun at Stacey’s expense, and also Hayden’s? Oh, my hell, that would be brilliant…” She claps excitedly, clearly missing the furious shaking of my head.
“No, Elsie. Did you miss the part where I said he insulted me the last two times we’ve come face-to-face?”
“Oh, who cares about that? I want to see Hayden and Stacey’s reactions.” Her laughter continues on.
I shake my head furiously. “It’s not going to happen. No more dating for me.”
“Oh, come on, Addy. Don’t be like that.” She wraps her arm around my waist, pulling me closer to her. “Let’s have a little fun. I’m going to find us the biggest, baddest parties to hit this weekend. So be prepared to go to work with a hangover on Saturday, and then we’ll repeat it Saturday night.”
Actually, it doesn’t sound so bad to enjoy myself, since I haven’t in a long time.
“Well, I’m down for the parties, but no Parker, and no other guys. Got that?” I give her a pointed stare, attempting to drive my point home.
Elsie pouts. “Whatever, you party pooper. Here’s your class. I’ll meet you here when you get out.”
We say our goodbyes, and I step into my classroom. I release a sigh of relief, Parker’s not here yet.
I take a seat in the second row, right in the middle. I don’t want to get caught next to Parker again. We’re like oil and water. Whenever we come into contact, we don’t mesh well.
After about five minutes I hear high heels clicking into the room. My head flicks up and Mrs. Wilson marches in with a bowl, filled with what looks to be scrunched paper. Not two minutes later, Parker strides in and I’m entranced by his movements. He’s damn good-looking in his fitted black tee and black basketball shorts. Are they the only kinds of shorts he owns? He looks up and scans the room.
Please don’t sit next to me. I keep my head down, staring at the black screen of my cell phone. “Please don’t. Please don’t,” I beg under my breath.
A body sits beside me. I don’t move. I remain focused on my small wooden desk. My fingers trace the scratches previous students have made on the desk, as though I need to learn them for an assignment.
“Are those marks telling you a good story?”
I jump when I hear that sweet voice in my ear. I twist to my left. Parker rests back in his seat.
“At least they’re much nicer to me than the company I have sitting beside me,” I bite back.
A vast pearly white smile spreads across his face. He has a dimple on his right cheek I hadn’t noticed before. “Oh, little mouse, I love your little nibbles.” He chuckles.
I’m about to rebut when the teacher calling my name stops me.
“Addison! Could you please pay attention, as you’re distracting the class with your chatter.”
My face heats up. I’m sure it’s turning the shade of my red tank top. I think Mrs. Wilson has it in for me. “Sorry, Mrs. Wilson.”
She peers at me before continuing, “Now, as I was saying… we’re going to do a paired book report. We’ll be choosing our pairs out of this bowl. I’ve put half the class names in the bowl, and the other half will choose their partner. Addison, since you’re so keen, how about you go first?”
Perfect. More embarrassment.
Standing, I step in front of Parker, my butt toward him. I’d prefer that than having to face him. I’m 100 percent sure he’s checking out my ass as well.
I reach my hand in the bowl. I know I’ve got a very slim chance of picking Parker because there’s probably about fourteen names in that jar. I have to hope he’s a picker, and not a name. I shuffle the folded pieces of paper around and pull out one neatly folded piece.
With shaky hands, I slowly unfold it.
Parker Kent.
Of course.
The universe has it in for me.
“Read out w
ho you’ve been partnered with, please,” Mrs. Wilson says.
I really don’t want to. Sucking in a deep breath, I say, “Parker Kent.” My voice trembles as I read his name.
I watch his face light up, and I’m not sure why, but I have a sudden urge to drop him on his ass again.
“Thank you. Go and sit with your partner.”
I walk back to my seat in a daze. Why does stuff like this keep happening? Sliding past Parker again, I feel the heat of a hand through my jeans on my thigh. Moving quickly, I fall back into my chair.
Leaning over toward Parker, annoyance fires through my veins. I whisper into his ear. “Do not touch me without my permission ever again,” I seethe. Still, that mischievous grin doesn’t shift off his face. That same dimple taunts me with its cuteness. Damn him.
“Come on now, partner. We’re going to be stuck together for a while. You’ll learn to love me.”
Is he kidding himself? I’m not sure what kind of game he’s playing at. I have no intention of getting involved either way.
“Maybe I’ll see if someone can swap with me?” I already know that won’t be allowed.
“Ouch, little mouse,” he mocks, his hand gripping his chest dramatically.
Damn, he frustrates the living hell out of me, and it’s clear he gets his kicks from me arguing with him. It’s better for me to ignore him and stick to my guns.
The lovely Mrs. Wilson drones on about Shakespeare and something else. After half the lesson has gone by, I zone out, trying my hardest not to acknowledge the person beside me who keeps looking my way. His scent wraps around me, and slowly puts me under his spell. A spell I don’t want to have any part of.
While taking some notes down, a neatly folded piece of paper is placed right on top of where I was writing. I push it out of my way and finish what I was doing.
Mrs. Wilson announces the end of class. I pack my books, and shove the note away in my jeans pocket.
“I’ll be seeing you later, little mouse,” Parker whispers in my ear.
My stomach clenches, and I pause. My breath hitches in my throat. Slowly, I turn toward him, but he’s not there. He keeps doing stuff like this. Getting close, the letters, whispering seductively in my ear, it twists up my insides and makes them go crazy.
Rising from my chair, I walk out to find the last person I want to talk to in the hallway: Hayden. Elsie isn’t here like she said she’d be. My eyes dart left and right, and something catches my attention. Parker stands at the end on my right, watching me. His stare isn’t a playful one. He’s ready to attack. The hate he holds for Hayden is more than evident in his dark glare.
Turning away from Hayden, I attempt an escape. For some reason, I go the way Parker is. When I look back to where he was standing, my heart sinks. He’s gone. And here I was thinking he was going to be my back up if I needed him.
Hayden comes after me. “Addy, baby. Please talk to me,” he begs.
That’s something I’ve never heard from him. It’s usually me doing the begging for him to not be angry at me.
“Go away, Hayden. I don’t want to talk to you.” I gain some speed. He grabs my arm, and I whip around, pulling it from his grasp. “Take the hint and leave me alone. We’re done.”
Hayden hangs his head, and when he looks up, I stop. Hayden has tears in his eyes. My chest tightens.
“Please, Addy. I miss you.” An actual tear slides down his reddened face. I feel bad for him, and I know I shouldn’t. He steps closer to me. I let him. I’m not sure why. He’s never shown this kind of emotion before. “It’s only fair you forgive me this time.”
Did I hear that right? I move away from him.
“How dare you?” I hiss. “Yes, I made a mistake, and you’ve taken full advantage of that with the way you’ve treated me.”
Hayden scoffs. The vulnerable side he showed seconds earlier is nowhere to be seen. What a liar.
“You think you’re something so special. Let me tell you something: you’re not. At least your sister was a better lay than you.”
Everything in my vision shimmers red. My hands clench. My nails pierce the soft skin of my palm. I raise my fist and swing. It connects with Hayden’s already colored cheek.
Hayden holds his face, staring at me like a deer stuck in headlights.
That felt amazing.
I should have done it sooner.
I hear laughter behind me. I spin on my heel. Parker and Elsie stand there, gripping their ribs as they laugh together. Tears fill her eyes.
“I should have let you take him on the other night,” Parker says.
I feel damn proud of my punch. Thanks to karate and kickboxing, I didn’t injure my hand. If Hayden had actually paid attention to the things I was doing, he would have had some idea to not confront me.
“You bitch,” Hayden jeers.
I turn back to face him, not able to deal with this anymore. I step up to him, mustering all my courage. “Hayden… things between us are over. If you say my sister is better than me, maybe you should be dating her. I couldn’t care less.” I back away from him and walk toward Elsie and Parker, who both have huge-ass grins on their faces that match my own.
Parker throws his arm over my shoulder. I watch Elsie eye the exchange between him and me. I can see her brain is ticking over, and I’m sure I’ll hear another of her Parker spiels when it’s just us two alone together.
“Well, now, look at you go, little mouse.” Parker chuckles.
“I told you the other night I could handle myself,” I state, matter-of-factly.
“You should have believed her,” Elsie jumps in.
“Next time, I’ll leave you to your own defenses.”
“Well, now you know. Come on, Elsie, let’s get to our next classes. Catch ya around, Parker.” My chest flutters being close to him. I quickly shrug out of his arm, not liking the way my body is reacting and betraying me.
I hook my arm with Elsie’s and we take off, leaving Parker standing there openmouthed. I glance back, and he’s still there… watching.
Finally, the weekend arrives. I couldn’t be happier to see the close of this long, drawn-out week.
Hayden, Stacey, and Ella—I’ve got nothing else to give in regards to these people. I plan to get wasted tonight. I’m overdue for some fun.
Arriving back at the dorm, before I’ve even opened the door I hear the music vibrating against the walls. Stepping inside, I’m greeted with my girls strutting around in their matching bras and lacy underwear as they swap and trade each other’s clothes. The scent of beer and pizza strikes my nostrils, and my stomach grumbles as I realize I skipped lunch today. After my run-ins with Hayden, I didn’t want to risk facing him again, so I went to the library instead for some quiet.
“Sweet cheeks is here,” Willow announces to the entire building.
All the girls cheer.
Willow comes toward me. I can tell she’s already had a fair few drinks, and it’s only six p.m. Tonight’s going to be crazy.
Willow opens her arms and hugs me, and I give her one back. “Are you ready to party? We’re heading to a frat house for some fun tonight. You said no Hayden or Parker, so we’re going somewhere they’ll most likely not be.” She kisses my cheek and releases me, going back to her room. I better not get too drunk tonight, especially if Willow’s already in that state.
Elsie struts up to me in a fitted short black spaghetti strap dress. It has roses embellished over the fabric. It’s a beautiful dress which sits just above her knees. “Come on, girl, let’s get you a beer and some food. We’ve got to get you all dolled up for a night of fun and laughter with the girls, and… maybe some guys.”
I give her the evil eye. “I’m happy with no guys. I just want to be with you girls.”
Elsie strips me of my backpack and thrusts a chilled beer in one hand and a plate with a slice of pizza in the other. I take a bite as she leads me to our room, shutting the door behind her. She doesn’t say anything. She goes to her cupboard and begins di
gging through it, and after a moment, she produces a shopping bag.
“I bought this for you. No returns, and you have to wear it tonight. If you don’t, it’ll break my heart. It can be a breakup gift.” From the bag, she pulls out a navy blue dress. It looks similar to hers, but there are no roses on it.
“Elsie, can’t I wear a pair of jeans? I’m not a dress kinda girl, and you know that.”
She shakes her head. “I swear you’ve been in those same jeans for the last three days.”
She could be right. If I can get away with not washing them every day, I’ll do it.
I place the food and drink down. Wiping the grease from my fingertips, I take the dress from her. It hangs off its spaghetti straps on both my index fingers.
I’m unsure. It’s a beautiful dress, only it’s not me.
“Addy, listen to me. You need to start stepping out of the little box Hayden shoved you in. Be that outrageous girl I first met when we arrived in a shared dorm together last year.”
Deep within me, I know she’s right. I need to step out again. Get the confidence back and be the girl who doesn’t care.
“We’ll see. Now, get out, and let me get dressed.”
Elsie jumps up and down excitedly, cheering as she leaves the room.
I stare at the dress. Guess I’d better get to it. I empty my jeans pockets before taking them off. My fingertip grazes something. Pulling it out, I realize it’s the note from Parker. Slowly, I open it. Again, there’s a number on it. What’s he playing at?
Taking my cell from my back pocket, I put the number into my phone under Parker’s name. I decide to play a little game of Guess Who.
Addison: Who is this?
Hitting send, a grin spreads across my face.
I tear off my clothes and pull the silky material over my body. It glides on perfectly, and sits nicely in the places it should. I run my hands down the front while looking down at myself. From this angle, it looks great, but I’m still unsure. I go and stand in front of our full-length mirror.