by Liz Lovelock
“I don’t think I’ve had someone get off me that quick, little mouse.”
“I didn’t want your mother walking in on me dry-humping you in her house,” I squeak.
Parker takes my arm, gently pulling me back to him. “You make me laugh.” He gives me one last kiss before standing, and I follow him out of the room.
It’s dark when we leave Parker’s house about two hours later. I think Parker had had enough of Paislee giving him googly eyes. She doesn’t seem like one to hold back, and she more than showed it by asking me twenty questions. I think Parker learned more about me during her interrogation than he has at any other time.
Once we escaped and were in the car, Parker heaved a sigh of relief. Jules helped me get the wrist brace on and showed me how I should adjust it as the swelling goes down.
As we drive back to the school, I have a question which has been burning inside me. I need to know the answer. “Can I ask you something?”
Parker nods. “Shoot.”
“Where’s your dad?” I watch Parker, and take note of his reaction. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, and his head twitches slightly. “If you don’t want to talk about it that’s all right,” I quickly add.
Parker rubs his face. “We don’t discuss Dad much. He left when Paislee was only a few months old. I don’t remember much about him, to be honest. It’s always just been the three of us. Mom got herself through school to become a doctor, and we went without a lot of things growing up. My mom is truly an inspiration.”
Don’t I feel like a complete idiot now? “Oh. I’m so sorry for asking.”
Parker shrugs. “It is what it is.” The sadness in his tone slams me in the stomach. I reach across to him, placing my hand on his leg. He gently rests his hand on mine, since it’s my strapped one. “Don’t feel bad. I knew you’d ask. Everyone does at some point.”
I rub my thumb over his jeans. “Still, it must be hard answering when you don’t know much about your dad.” I can’t imagine my life without my father. Yes, he’s a workaholic, but I know if I need him for anything he’ll be there no matter what.
“It is hard, but Mom’s never kept anything from us. If either Paislee or I want to know or meet our father, she’s said she won’t stop us. Over time, I think she’s stopped hating him. As you can see, she’s done an amazing job all on her own.”
“She really is nothing short of amazing.”
Silence fills the cabin of the car. It’s not uncomfortable—it feels more like there’s a lot we’re both thinking about.
I watch as we pass the cars and the beach. It’s dark. The glow of the moon lights up the ocean, and the waves crashing as they hit the shore. We head toward the hill. At the top is a statue in the shape of a boat. It’s called The Singing Ship. When the wind blows on the pipes they have attached to it, it sounds like a soft hum. It’s peaceful, although I’ve never actually been here at nighttime.
“Still taking me on that date, huh?” I ask as we pull to a stop.
Parker turns to me. “I won it fair and square, so now I can enjoy it.”
The cheekiness in his smile makes me laugh. He climbs out of the car and comes around to open my door. As I step out into the night air, the salty ocean smell is all around me. I love the beach. It’s a thought-provoking place. Simply walking along the shore sends my mind into overdrive and puts my worries at ease.
Parker throws his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him tightly. He leads me to a bench to the left of The Singing Ship. I can hear the light hum. It’s as though it sings with the song of my heart. A sense of peace wraps around me. I don’t care what’s happened during these last few weeks. What counts is now. Right here in this moment, I know I should be with Parker. As much as I didn’t want this to happen, it’s happening, and I’m falling. I only hope Parker will catch me if I stumble.
He takes a seat and pulls me firmly against him. It’s a coolish night. We sit and listen to the waves cracking against the shore. I let my head fall on Parker’s shoulder. His hand comes up and starts running through my hair.
“Can I ask you something?” he questions, the husk to his voice sending a shiver down my spine.
“If you keep playing with my hair like that, you can ask me anything,” I moan a little too loudly.
His soft chuckle vibrates through me. “All right… tell me what the deal is with you and your sister.”
I groan. “Really? You want to know?”
“I asked the question.”
“I’m honestly not sure why she hates Devon and me so much. There was a time when we were younger, and we were the best of friends. Then, as the years went on, she grew up, got bitchy friends, and in turn began treating me like the dirt she walked on.”
Parker releases a whistle. “So there’s no real reason.”
I shrug. “I’m not sure what the problem is. Then when I started coming to college and she was in her sorority, I think she was worried I’d try and pledge with her. That stuff doesn’t interest me. I want to become a teacher to help kids with special needs… kids like Devon.” A lump catches in my throat, thinking of the others out there who need that little extra help that Devon receives.
Parker places his finger under my chin, tilting my head so I look him in the eyes. The image of the moon glows in his eyes. My heart beats furiously. Our gazes stay locked on each other. “You’re something else, Addison,” he pauses, before continuing. “I have another question.”
I don’t risk speaking but merely nod.
“Would you ever go back to Hayden?”
I jerk out of his arms and stare at him with disgust. “Do you really think I would?”
“I’m just asking.” His voice is slightly raised, and his arms are held up in defense.
“I don’t think I could ever go back to him.” I hang my head and stare down at my hands sitting in my lap. “He isn’t someone who’s healthy for anyone to be in a relationship with, if that even makes sense.”
Parker’s hand clenches and releases. “Do you know why I gave you that note? The first one?”
I shake my head. “Where are you going with this?”
“I wanted you to know you could call me if you ever needed help. I saw how he looked at you that day when you pulled away from him.” Parker pulls me back to him. I can’t take my eyes from his. I have this feeling he’s going to say more. My stomach is doing flips like a trapeze artist. Parker puffs out a breath and continues, “I’ll be honest, Addison. I was scared for you.”
“You and me both,” I respond.
“It took everything in me not to lash out at him then and there. When I saw the fear in your eyes, I knew I needed to try and be someone you could trust and rely on. Yes, I can be a jerk, but I would never treat someone how he treated you. I’d watched from afar long enough to know how much you’d lost your sparkle.”
I shake my head at all the words Parker says. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Since I laid eyes on you last year I’ve wanted you. When you were with Hayden, I always wanted you to be with me. That night at the party, I put myself in your path so often that you couldn’t resist me.” He chuckles, shaking his head. I sit in stunned silence as he puts everything out in the open. “After I kissed you, it only made me want you even more, and then you went back to that douchebag. It all backfired on me. After that night, I saw you change. The happiness you had was gone—diminished. Now I know I sound like a crazy stalker person.”
I’m sure I need to collect my mouth off the bench and shut it. All my walls and worries crumble away. Parker has dug deep into my soul.
After a moment, Parker cups my cheek. “Say something,” he whispers.
What am I meant to say after something so earth-shattering? Never have I ever had someone analyze me like Parker has. “Why didn’t you just tell me that night at the party, or even after that?” Why didn’t he?
“I went to, but I’d caught you begging Hayden for forgiveness after what you’d done. I felt that no matt
er what I said you’d think I was some basketball jock searching for his next friends with benefits.”
“Yeah, that’s probably what I would have thought.” I throw it out there playfully, shoving his shoulder. His warm lips press against my temple. Lifting my head, I glance up at him, then press my mouth to his. This kiss feels different from the others. They were lustful and desire-filled; this one is slow, sensual, meaningful, and claiming. He can have my heart, but if he breaks it, I’m not sure I’ll recover from the hurt.
Pulling back, I say, “So I have a question for you now.”
Parker’s mouth presses against my neck, and I moan with excitement. “Shoot.” His breath tickles my neck, so I push him back to see his face.
“So what is this?” My hand gestures between us.
“I want you to be mine, Addison.” Parker holds my gaze.
I want to throw myself at him, but keep my composure somehow. “Then I’m all yours, Parker.”
“Are you freakin’ serious?” Elsie screams at me loud enough that I have to block my ears. I watch her jump around our bedroom excitedly. I came back to our dorm quiet as a mouse, only once I lightly clicked the bedroom door closed, Elsie sprang out of bed and demanded to know where I’d been and what was happening. So I told her everything. My cheeks hurt because I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I let her know every single detail of the afternoon and night.
Elsie squeals excitedly. “Be quiet, Elsie. I don’t want another family meeting at a stupid hour.” I love the other girls, but I’m wanting to see if Parker lets his friends know about our relationship before I go blurting things out and sounding like an idiot if something backfires on me.
Elsie stops in front of me, taking hold of my shoulders. Her eyes are wide with excitement. “I’m sorry, I’m so happy right now. I told you to go for him.” She shakes me slightly, and I shrug out of her grip and stand from my bed.
“I’m still scared,” I admit honestly.
She stops. A soft, knowing smile sits on her face. “I know. It’ll be all right. Parker’s different. I’m sure you must see that.”
“Oh, I do. I still can’t help thinking that something’s going to ruin it, and in turn, ruin me all over again.”
Elsie sits down on her bed, and I fall back onto mine. We face each other. Elsie’s a friend who’ll always give it to me straight. She’ll tell me if I need deodorant—that’s how blunt she can be.
“You were hurt last time. Your boyfriend was a controlling freak, and you’re so much better off without him. Parker’s different. He may seem like a player, but keep in mind now you’ve met his mom and sister. Is his relationship with them good?”
I nod, listening intently to where she’s going with this. I already feel a small amount of my apprehension about the whole thing lifting.
Elsie continues, “If a guy treats his family great, even his little sister, then he’s a good one. Have fun with this, Addison. This is a good thing.”
I know she’s right. I need to let it play out, no matter the outcome. “All right and if this all falls apart, you better be there to pick up the pieces.”
“You know I’m always here for you.” She leaps toward me, giving me a hug. “I’m so excited for you,” she whispers excitedly in my ear.
I laugh. I’m excited as well. Never did I think Parker would go for me. Everything he admitted to me tonight shocked me. If he’d have told me how he felt earlier, I probably would have ended things a long time ago with Hayden. Instead, I stuck around hoping things would get better.
I was wrong.
Elsie and I take a seat at an outside table, since we both have a free hour. The sun’s shining, and the breeze is refreshing. Elsie’s still gushing over the whole Parker thing. I haven’t seen or heard from him today. It makes me a little nervous. He did say last night that he had early morning practice, so I’ll put it down to that.
“Any word from Parker?” Elsie asks, as if she can read my thoughts.
I twist the lid off my soda. “Nope. He said he had an early practice. I’ve still not heard anything.” I take a mouthful of my salad and then look out over the rest of campus. College is always so busy. It’s also party central. Every day there’s a new break-up or some story of who hooked up with who over the weekend. I wonder what will be said about me?
There was lots said when everything happened with Hayden. Now there’s something new for everyone to talk about.
“Oh, I’m sure he’ll show up,” Elsie says.
I know he will. It still doesn’t stop my mind running through a million different scenarios until he does. What if Stacey’s cornered him and has managed to get in his pants again? Or even… my sister? And let’s not forget about Barbie.
All three are possibilities.
I don’t think Parker would do that, though. I hate my stupid overthinking brain sometimes.
“What are our plans this weekend? Did you know it’s the first basketball game this Friday?” Elsie asks.
“Parker told me about it last night. He asked me to go. I said I’d see.”
Elsie’s eyes widen in shock. “Why did you say that? You’re together now, aren’t you? So why are you saying something like… you’ll see?”
“I know, Elsie.” I sigh. “I need to see if things are different first. He can sit there and say, yes we’re together, but it means nothing to me unless he shows me. For example, messaging me, showing up, and planting a kiss on me in public, or something similar.”
Elsie sits across from me with her arms folded across her chest. I can tell she’s annoyed at my response. “Don’t give me that stupid talk, Addison. It’s time to stop thinking he’s anything like Hayden. Hayden was, and still is, a dick. We both know this, and I already see a difference with Parker. When you mention his name, you smile.” She’s grinning at me, and I do the same. Especially when she mentions Parker. My stomach does a million flips at the mention of his name.
“I know. I know.”
Elsie’s face turns to stone before me. Turning in my seat, I see what’s gotten her into bitch mode. Stacey stands behind me.
I get up from my seat, not giving her the satisfaction of me looking up at her. “Can I help you?” I ask as politely as possible.
Stacey is flanked by her flock of ass-kissers. She’s wearing a tight shirt with a bright pink bra underneath, leaving nothing to people’s imaginations. Throw in her Daisy Duke cutoffs, and she’s asking for every person to check out her butt cheeks.
Stacey gives me a once-over before meeting my eyes. “I thought I told you to stay away from Parker.”
And here it goes. I fold my arms across my chest. “Whatever happens between Parker and me is none of your concern,” I state, matter-of-factly. The smile falls from her face and a blaze lights in her eyes. She takes a step closer. I don’t budge, not letting her get to me. She’s pathetic and needs to grow up.
“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong. You see, he was with me this morning, if you know what I mean.”
My composure falters slightly. I try to pull myself back together, only she’s caught my slip. An evil smile twists on her lips, and her pearly whites shine at me.
Clearing my throat, I say, “I find it hard to believe.”
I know he had practice. There’d be no reason for him to see her.
Stacey shrugs. “Why not ask him yourself?”
Her focus is on something behind me. I don’t need to turn around to know it’s Parker. My body hums in his presence. He comes to stand beside me. He doesn’t touch me or wrap his arms around me like I thought he would. Now that’s what a boyfriend should do to ward off the predators like Stacey.
He does nothing.
He doesn’t offer a single touch!
“Hey Parker,” Stacey says in her little posh, snooty, pathetic voice, shuffling a little closer to him. “It was good catching up this morning.” She winks at him.
It’s taking everything I have to not lose it at the both of them. I can feel small parts of
me crumbling. I won’t give Stacey the satisfaction of seeing me lose it, though.
Parker stands there. I can’t bring myself to look up at him. If I do, I know it’ll break me. I’m waiting desperately for him to shut down what she’s saying, and for him to plant a kiss on my lips to prove to her that we’re together now and she has no chance.
The silence he responds with is deafening.
Turning my head, I glance up at his troubled features, and his worried eyes catch mine. In that moment, I know Stacey’s speaking the truth.
A day.
Our relationship didn’t even last a single twenty-four hours.
How pathetic.
Don’t I feel like the fool, once again?
Parker finally opens his mouth to speak. I hold my breath.
Stacey jumps in. “Look at this photo of us.”
Parker looks between her and I. His brow furrows. She holds out her phone to me, and my resolve crumbles. There’s a picture of Parker and Stacey locking lips.
“Don’t listen to her, Addison. It’s an old photo.”
I don’t want to hear any more. I lift my bag and run. Elsie hurries after me. I hear Parker’s raised voice, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. I take off so fast that I lose Elsie for a moment.
I keep running until I’m back at the dorm, and shut away in my room. I quickly close down my cell, not wanting to see what Parker has to say. He should have made a statement by kissing me or holding me so Stacey could see that he was with me, yet he stood there in silence when she mentioned the catch-up this morning.
A puffed Elsie pushes open the door. “Stop!” She takes a huge gulp of air before continuing, “Don’t think the worst. Did you hear what he said to her as you were taking a jog?”
“Why the hell should I listen to him? I knew this was a bad idea from the start, and I let my silly feelings take over. I should have kept my vow to myself to not date guys like Parker or Hayden.” I scream into my pillow for a second before it’s yanked away from me.
“Will you shut up a moment?” Elsie yells at me. It’s like a verbal slap across the face. She’s never spoken to me like that.