by Michelle Lee
You would see it that way because you think too much.
I do not.
Davis?
Oh.
See think too much.
"Sorry Jackson I have plans with Macy. We've got bridesmaid's stuff to discuss. Can I take a rain check?"
That didn't sound too bad; after all it is the truth.
"Oh sure, no problem. And I'll definitely take that rain check."
He doesn't sound too disappointed. Actually he doesn't sound disappointed at all. Strange. Maybe he finally sees us as being nothing more than friends as I’ve been saying all along. And that is a very good thing.
"Thanks Jackson, you're the best."
"I know. I'll catch you later."
Wow. He even sounds a little cocky. And before I can respond Jackson is gone.
I glance at the clock and notice it is about time to meet Macy for lunch. We are meeting at this café around the corner since I am fully submerged in all things Reynolds and time is precious. Three weeks isn't a lot of time, especially when the client is unavailable. I also don't want to disappoint the partners or give then any reason to lose their faith and confidence in me by taking a long leisurely lunch. Thankfully Macy is very understanding and accommodating, which is extremely out of character for her. But when it comes to my career, Macy is extremely supportive and I love her for it.
I enter the café knowing she is probably there already. Unlike Davis, Macy is never late, punctuality is her middle name; another reason why I love her. Heck, if I ever became a lesbian I would probably try and make Macy my girlfriend. She waves me over to our table.
"Hey Kas. Okay what the hell is wrong?"
Blunt and cutting straight through the bullshit as usual I see.
"Nothing, just work. Reynolds is a royal P.I.T.A."
"Um, sorry to hear that, but the look on your face tells me there's more than just work. So spill it," she demands.
"I don't know what you're reading on my face but really it's just work."
You damn well know she isn't going to let up and she will beat and I do mean beat it out of you. Did you forget it's Macy? She's a damn bloodhound, can sniff out anything and a cop, she will interrogate you till you give her what she wants.
I know I said I would talk to her about the Davis episode, but I’m not in the mood to get into it; I need to stay focused on work.
Denial, denial, denial. Avoidance, avoidance, avoidance. It's all I'm saying. OH and let's not forget scared of the truth.
"I call bullshit…wait a second; you had practice with Davis last night. That explains it. Now you better tell me everything or I'll drag it out of you. You know I have ways of making you talk," she says as if she were a Russian spy from one of those James Bond movies.
And when push comes to shove I know I will give Macy what she wants. Frankly, she scares the bejesus out of me.
"All right, it's him," I confess seething with a little anger as I quickly recount the events in my head.
"I knew it. And why are we calling him, him again? I thought you moved on from that?"
"Well you know what they say one step forward two steps back," my voice reeks with sarcasm.
"You are so cynical. Now tell me what happened to get your panties all twisted and bunched up your ass. And you better not leave anything out, I want details. Got it."
"Okay, okay. I got to the studio and of course he was late."
"I totally hate that. Did he at least let you know that he was going to be late?"
"No, but when he did show he apologized for being late and said he tried to call to let me know, but his cell died."
"Well that was decent of him. So far everything sounds fine, no panty twisting yet."
I roll my eyes at her and continue to tell her in detail exactly what transpired over the length of our practice.
"We made small talk, kinda flirted a little I guess you could say. He actually told me I looked cute and a little sexy when I was deep in thought or something like that. I was a little rude, bossing him around, so I apologized, when he said are you ready for this?" Macy waved her hand as if to say bring it on. "I can't help it if he makes me get all worked up. Can you believe it?"
"Yeah, I can. Kassidy you do get worked up over Davis. Actually anytime Chloe or Jason or myself has brought his name up since you two first met you light up like the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center or you go all ‘I’m going to hate him no matter what’. You react one of two ways—always."
"Do you want to hear the rest? Or are you just going to insult my intelligence? I think I know when a guy gets me worked up. And Davis isn't that guy."
"Honey you need a strong dose of reality. But yes, I do want to know what else happened. Continue."
"So of course I got seriously pissed off by that and told him he was basically repulsive. He then made the comment, again like that night in the club, that I was too hard up."
"Kassidy this guy really knows how to push your buttons. He totally has your number and he's obviously playing with you, but in a fun and sexy way. You my dear are hard up. When was the last time you had sex?"
I look at her, eyes blazing.
"My point exactly. It's been a long ass time. I know you better than you know yourself. You are falling for this guy whether you are ready to admit it or not. And of course because of the other him, whom I might add has royally fucked up your perception of men, you won't admit it because you are afraid."
"Afraid?" And why does she have to mention him. I have put that chapter of my life behind me. Buried deep inside where it will never be found. And here she is mentioning it so casually.
"Yes you're afraid. Afraid of what you might or do feel for Davis and vice versa. I haven't met him yet, but from what Chloe tells me you guys are made for each other. I know she likes to play matchmaker, that's her thing, but this is different. She believes even if she didn't know Davis, you two would have found each other eventually. Something about destiny; which you know I don't believe in, we make our own destiny, but Chloe does and she believes Davis is your destiny."
Wow, everyone is talking about this. What the hell? Davis my destiny, are you kidding me?
"Can we get back to my story, please?" I really don't want to think Davis and move on. As annoying telling Macy about Davis is, it is better than thinking about the other him.
"Yeah, sorry. You were saying?"
"I was saying. He made that comment about being hard up and then he said I snuggled with my vibrator at night. Can you believe it?"
"Um, wow he totally has your number."
"What?"
"Kas, you totally get way too much use out of that thing," she laughs piercing a carrot.
"Macy," I am blushing.
"Kassidy?"
"Whatever. So when he said that all I saw was red and I went to slap him."
She practically chokes on her carrot, "You went to slap him? Are you living in a black and white movie or just insane? Wait don't answer that because you're insane!”
"Anyway, as I went to slap him he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into him and…"
"And?"
"And he kissed me." There I said it, got it out. I cringe at the thought of what she is going to say or do.
She practically does a spit take with her diet Coke. "He kissed you? Did you kiss him back? What was it like? Oh my God, Kassidy he kissed you and you didn’t die. You’re alive, you’re alive!"
She is way too excited and slightly mocking about an insignificant kiss.
You’ve got to be joking? That kiss was anything but insignificant.
"No, I wasn't kissing him back. I was in fact trying to push him off of me, but then…"
"Then what? You kissed him back! I knew it, I fucking knew it."
"Yes, as much as I didn't want to I started kissing him back. Apparently my lips have a mind of their own." Or the mind of a crazy inner self.
"So what's the problem? You guys just didn't strip right there and fuck like wild rabbits and he hasn'
t called since? Fucking prick. I hate when guys do that."
"No, that's what you would have done; we're talking about me, right? When I realized what was going on, I finally pulled away from him and that's when I slapped him."
"Kas, you didn't?"
"I most certainly did. He had no right."
"He had no right?"
"Yeah, he had not right."
"He had no right to give you what deep down you really wanted? He had no right to prevent you, well almost prevent you from slapping him? Which is assault by the way. He had no right to make you forget what you were arguing about? Shit, Kassidy I think he had every right. Honey you need some serious help. And I'm not trying to be funny; it's just the truth. If I were you, I would have jumped all over that."
"Well thank the Lord you aren't me because, because…" I can't think of anything, my mind goes totally blank.
"Wow Miss Kassidy Marshall, lawyer extraordinaire rendered speechless."
"Shut up."
"Okay so after you guys kissed and you slapped him, so stupid, what happened?"
"I grabbed my stuff, bolted for the door and went for a run."
"Did he go after you?"
"Not that I know of and I don't really care."
"I just want to shake the shit out of you until you realize what is really going on. Kassidy you are so frustrating."
Tell me about it.
"I know."
"Seriously, Davis could be the real deal and you are going to blow it. Messing with your destiny." She can’t help the giggle that escapes.
"I thought you didn't believe in that mushy gushy mumbo jumbo?"
"I don't, but Chloe can be so convincing at times, ya know?"
"I know. All right can we drop the Davis situation and talk about Chloe's bachelorette party."
"Fine if that's the way you want it."
"Yes that's the way I want it," I stick my tongue out at her because she really does at times make me feel like a child.
"Okay, so I have found not one but two specialty drinks for the evening and they are absolutely fabulous."
"Really, two, what are they?"
"You are not going to believe this. Since blue, aqua or teal or whatever is Chloe's signature color I have found two drinks that are blue, aqua, whatever. But that's not the unbelievable part. One is called Blue Passion and the other, are you ready?"
"Will you tell me already."
"The other one is called Jazz. Is that not perfect, I mean it’s close enough to when she calls him Jas. Is that hilarious or what? All night long we will be drinking Jazz or Jas as we’ll call them," and with that Macy laughs her slutty laugh.
I turn thirteen shades of pink for the third time in two days.
"Chloe is going to die."
"Right I know. Tell me I'm the best."
"Macy Summers you are the best."
"Thank you, thank you."
We continue to talk about the details for Saturday night, everything is set. Macy has basically taken care of everything since I am swamped with work. We get the check, Macy treats me to lunch and we are both on our way back to work.
"I will see you Saturday then."
"I can't wait, Chloe is going to be so surprised."
As I turn to walk down the sidewalk, back to the office Macy calls to me.
"Hey Kas, have an open mind about Davis. He doesn't seem like, like well you know. Just give him a chance. I think he will surprise you and you might surprise yourself. Don't be so pigheaded. And wrangle in your lawyer-tude, it really gets on people's nerves sometimes. Okay?"
"Yes Macy, I'll try but I'm not promising anything."
She blows me a kiss and hails a cab.
As I walk back to work I wonder if I can look at Davis differently and give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess anything is possible. Destiny? Is Chloe for real? Of course Chloe is for real, when is she not? I don't really have time for this and decide to put this topic out of my mind for the time being because I have other matters at hand, like getting my P.I.T.A. on the phone.
***
Damn it, it's 8 o'clock. Time flies when you're having fun. And oh boy, are we having fun. Yippee, more files to go through. My inner self is sharing my enthusiasm for this case.
I have finally, after three more attempts gotten a hold of Reynolds and went over some questions with him, which added more work to my already boggled down stack of files. I didn't realize I was at it for so long that I worked right through dinner. The office is basically empty and dark. Every sane person has gone home except for me and a couple of other people, including the cleaning crew. Something delicious wafts through the air and I catch the distinct smell of fried rice. My stomach rumbles. The smell intensifies at the opening of my office door.
"Hey Kassidy, hungry?"
"Jackson, hi, I didn't realize you were still here?"
"I wasn't, but noticed you were working late and had skipped dinner, so I figured I would cash in my rain check."
"Rain check, right. What have you got there?"
"Mr. Ling's take out."
My stomach stands up and cheers, and wants to grab the bag from Jackson’s hands. Mr. Ling's take out is for lack of a better word the bomb.
"Mr. Ling's?"
"Yes, are you hungry?" he asks as he waves the take out containers back and forth in front of me.
My stomach is poking me, hard.
"Now that you mention it. Let's cash in your rain check."
"Great."
Jackson clears a space on the floor and sets up our dinner. He has thought of everything, he even has Mr. Ling's secret sauce for shrimp that is to die for. We are pretty quiet as we sit and eat. And it’s more than our mouths are full of food; it’s this tension or more appropriately awkwardness floating in the air coating everything. Why do I get the impression that the whole “we are just friends” thing is only being taken seriously on my part?
"So Kassidy any plans this weekend?"
Oh God he breaks the silence and I can’t help but think he is going to ask me out.
"Actually this weekend is the bachelorette party."
"Oh, cool." He sounds a little disappointed.
"Yeah, it should be a blast. I can't wait."
"So I rented my tux. And you can let Chloe know it’s Armani so it should meet her requirements and approval." He quirks an eye brow with a chopstick pointing at me.
"I’ll let Chloe know. Thanks Jackson, for going with me."
“No problem. What are friends for?"
I honestly have no response to the way he accentuates the word friends. I hope he doesn’t think that there could be possibly more to our friendship. I think, no, I know I’ve been pretty clear and blunt about how I feel, but then again that awkwardness is still swirling around the room.
"I just wanted to let you know that my sister has been giving me dance tips so I won't crush your toes."
"Oh good because I really do value my toes. Although I must warn you, you may want to invest in a pair of steel-toed shoes. Remember not graceful when dancing right here," I joke.
"I’ll remember that. Anyway, she has been taking dance lessons since she was like five or something like that, so she knows what she's doing. She even….."
As Jackson continues to go on about dancing and dance lessons I am thrown back to the other night with Davis and begin to look at the situation differently. Maybe Macy was right.
Was right?
Macy is always right.
I know I know. It's just hard to think about a guy in that way again ya know?
I know. We’ve built up our dick defenses so well that a non-dick can't even break through.
Hahaha.
It's true.
I know.
Are you gonna give Davis that third chance like he asked in his note?
Maybe?
I guess that's better than no; it's a start.
It is a start and it's all I can do right now.
I know, don't worry I've got yo
ur back.
I know and thanks for putting up with my, my…
With your stubbornness, obstinacy, inflexibility, pigheadedness…
Okay, okay I get it; I know I can be stubborn, but I'm working on it okay.
Okay.
While I am lost deep somewhere in my mind, having another padded room conversation with my inner self, I forget Jackson is still in the room. I must have briefly closed my eyes or something because I didn't see it happening. Jackson has leaned over our makeshift dinner table and kisses me.
CHAPTER 8
I just sit there, dazed and confused. It takes a few seconds for my body to catch up with my brain.
What the… Jackson is kissing me.
Do something, stupid!
And in that instant my inner self takes over.
I shove against Jackson as hard as I can, but he just grips my shoulders tighter. I then lace my fingers in his hair, grip the roots, and pull as hard as I can, but the asshole mistakes my intentions for passion and pushes harder into my lips—his tongue swipes along the seam of my lips trying to seek entrance into my mouth. This kiss isn't at all like the unwanted kiss by Davis. This kiss feels needy and desperate, where Davis’ss kiss felt warn, tender and soft.
What The Fuck!
Before I know it, his tongue is finally penetrating my mouth.
Son of a bitch!
My inner self does the only thing we can think of.
"Owwww!" Jackson is cupping his mouth and a small amount of blood trickles down his chin.
"Kassidy?" he questions, sounding as if his mouth was full of marbles with a look of terror in his eyes.
When Jackson's tongue violated mine, I did the only thing I could think of. So, I bit down on his tongue as hard as I could. My inner self is clapping; as she gives me a standing ovation.
Serves him fucking right!
I definitely can't disagree with her. Jackson has crossed the line. I didn't want him to kiss me nor did I invite him to do so. Maybe he saw something that wasn't there, but that still didn't give him the right to violate my mouth and lips. I am fuming and at this point in time it doesn't matter to me if he is a friend or the son of one of the senior partners, Jackson is wrong and he is going to know it.
"What the hell Jackson? Have you lost your mind? What in the hell would make you think you could kiss me?" I am still shaking with rage when I speak. I grab a napkin and rub it over my lips trying desperately to erase his touch.