“You’re spoiling me rotten, Cav. You know that, don’t you?” She closed her eyes, their long, thick lashes sweeping down across her cheeks. Longing hit him hard as she entrusted herself utterly to him, her hands clasped over her stomach. And then, miraculously, she fell asleep.
Cav absorbed the moment like a man who had been without water all his life. The play of breeze ruffled Lia’s hair, the sunlight emphasizing the purity of her skin and how relaxed it had become as she slept. What would it be like to sleep with this woman in his arms every night? To awaken and see her just like this beside him?
Cav was building many new dreams—new because in all his life, he’d never entertained any of these thoughts. He’d come from a dysfunctional family where any feelings of love had been destroyed when he was still a child. Now, for the first time, he could understand how love could take such deep roots in a person’s heart.
Lia gave him the time and space to see his life differently. Better. More hopeful. And she had become his hope and healer, whether she knew it or not.
Cav gazed down at Lia, and realized that on some level, Lia knew he was with her. She knew she was safe and protected with him. Cav always wanted her to feel like that with him. He would never use his strength against her. He would always use it to hold her safe, give her a world of peace and joy. With him.
He watched the breeze play among the maples, elms and oaks crowding the summit where they sat. Light and dark shadows danced as shafts of sunlight wove down through the branches. So much of his early life had been in total darkness. The SEALs had given him a way out, a way toward the light.
As he gazed at Lia’s serene features, he realized on a profound soul level that she was his light and his life. She would help him get out of his self-imposed prison. Lia might have physical scars that revealed she’d spent time in her own personal prison, but he had just as many, if not more, handed down to him from the moment he’d been born.
As he sat on that precipice with Lia sleeping peacefully, Cav realized they’d taken another important step together. Gratitude flooded through him because he had never believed he was worthy of such happiness. All his life, his father had told him he was worthless, that he was no good, that he was a loser. Cav had actually believed it, until he’d gotten into the SEALs.
Those men had become a far better family for him to grow into, develop with, and realize he wasn’t a worthless piece of shit, as his old man had told him over and over again. His “Sea Daddy,” Chief Jacoby, had wisely guided Cav through his late teens and early twenties. He made Cav aspire to go beyond his limits, and had been responsible for Cav getting his BA from Cal Poly.
By doing so, his mentor and surrogate father had prepared him for a life beyond being a SEAL. Jacoby had told him that one day, he’d be too old and beaten up to continue at the breakneck pace the team required. One day, Cav would return to civilian life, and when he did, Jacoby said, he would need a career that he could step into, make money, and never look back.
Jacoby had pounded into his head that someday Cav would find the right woman, one he’d want to settle down with and start a family.
Cav had retorted that he’d never get married and have a family—not after having barely survived the one he’d left behind. It was then that Jacoby began inviting him to meet his wife, Rebecca, and their two boys, Sean and Paddy. Every time Jacoby could get him to his house, he did, and soon Cav began to see the difference.
In his own way, his Sea Daddy was showing, not telling, what a real, loving family consisted of. Jacoby was a tough old salt in the SEALs and he didn’t take shit from anyone. Everyone respected him officers and enlisted alike. And he’d shown Cav that getting married, finding the right woman, and having a family was a dream that could come true.
Family was a positive thing, not a negative one. It didn’t have to be dark and toxic. It could actually be light and joyful. Gazing at Lia, Cav cupped her cheek, leaned over, and pressed a light kiss on her smooth brow. He wanted this woman forever.
Jacoby had given him his hope back. And now, Cav was going to throw his entire heart and soul in pursuit of Lia, hoping that she wanted the very same things he wanted with her.
CHAPTER 19
July 4th
Lia brought a huge bowl of potato salad to Robert and Dilara Culver’s home for their annual Fourth of July picnic. She was surrounded by many of the people who were building Artemis Security, and the atmosphere was festive in their backyard.
About forty people stood around holding cold beers, iced tea or other drinks, chatting amiably with one another. Lia knew most of them, nodding hello as she skipped up the steps into the huge screened-in porch. Cav moved ahead of her to open the screen door leading to the kitchen.
“There you are!” Dilara called as she stood over the sink cleaning ears of corn.
“Sorry,” Lia said, “We’re running late. There was an accident on the freeway while we were trying to get over here.” Cav opened up the huge double refrigerator so that she could put the bowl of potato salad in it.
“Oh, dear,” Dilara murmured, wiping her hands on her dark blue apron. “Anyone hurt?”
“It didn’t look like it,” Lia said, coming over to the sink. “The ambulances were there and the police were just trying to get traffic past the area.”
“More like a stupid fender-bender,” Cav put in, leaning against the granite counter, nodding hello to Dilara. “Probably some careless kid who was texting while driving.”
“It’s an epidemic,” Dilara agreed. “I have about two dozen corncobs to husk, Cav. Would you like to take over? You have big, strong hands.”
“Sure,” he said. “Is there anything else I can do to help?”
“I’m sure Robert would like company out at the huge gas barbecues after that. He’s going to start with the hot dogs and hamburgers in one barbecue, and in the other, he’ll put all the veggies. When you get done here ask him what he wants to come out first.”
She pointed to the fridge. “All the meat is on the top two shelves. Veggies are below.”
“Got it,” Cav said. “You two take off and do what women do best,” he grinned, grabbing an ear of corn setting on the counter.
Dilara gave him a quick hug. “Watch it or I’ll talk you to death, Cav.”
Everyone chuckled.
“What can I do to help?” Lia asked.
“Nothing, actually. A lot of the wives are here and they’ve pretty much organized the chaos, so we’re in full forward motion.” She glanced at her delicate Rolex watch on her wrist. “In about an hour I think we’ll be ready to eat. The ladies have all the picnic tables set up with linens on them. Let’s go out back and sit on the porch. Do you want some iced tea? Wine?”
“Just iced tea,” Lia said. “Thanks.”
Dilara poured them each a glass, leaving Cav to his shucking duties. He smiled, watching the two women amble past the large windows in front of the sink. Lia looked particularly beautiful. Today she wore a capped sleeved bright red top, and white shorts that fell to just above her knees. She’d boldly worn clothes that clearly showed her scars.
Cav knew it was a huge step, and he was damned proud of her. Her hair was longer, curling softly around her face now, giving her a sensual look. Cav didn’t think women realized how much of a turn-on their hair could be for men. While he understood the need for short hair in a hot climate, he still liked a woman with longer hair.
He supposed it was stamped in his DNA. His mother always wore her hair long, too.
He spotted Robert out with the construction owners who had won the bids to build Artemis. They were all power players. Cav smiled a little. Robert was damned tall, standing over everyone, which matched his General status. Even in a pair of brown Bermuda shorts, sandals and a white polo shirt, he couldn’t hide his military bearing. He’d just flown in from France after a NATO exercise, and Cav was sure the man was reeling from jet lag. But if he was, it didn’t show.
He liked Robert and had seen him
occasionally at Artemis, checking up on the building progress of the three upper floors, as well supervising the two-story digging going on where the basement used to be.
Cav, when he could steal a moment, was interested in the “underground bunker,” as it was called. The bunker was being built with the latest materials, which would make it immune to being opened up by an overhead satellite, laser intrusion, heat seeking infrared, or any other device. All the top-secret files, computers and equipment to hold and create security, would be in those two underground floors. The bulk of the construction was going on there right now, because without it being built first, other construction couldn’t move forward.
Cav’s gaze moved to his left, watching Dilara and Lia sit down on the large, comfy swing at one end of the enclosed screen porch. He felt light and hopeful. Over the past month, Lia had been steadily making progress regarding her scars. He noticed what kinds of clothes she wore, and more and more often, she was exposing her arms to the public.
Cav also noticed that when new people entered her office, they would look at the scars casually, not focusing on them. Lia’s warm personality was far more interesting to them. It truly was a non-issue, and he could see Lia begin to ease up about her concerns that people were staring at her.
And that was good for them both.
Cav shucked the corn quickly, placing it in two large aluminum pans sitting on the counter. The fact that Lia boldly wore shorts for the first time actually amazed him. They no longer talked about her scars or how she felt about them. Cav wasn’t sure this was a positive development because he’d learned that if Lia could talk about whatever was bothering her, it no longer had the power over her. Maybe she wasn’t as bothered by the scars anymore, or at least it was less upsetting than it had been.
Cav decided he wasn’t going to push his agenda on her. She was coming along nicely, and far more quickly than he could believe. Inside, he knew it was the emotional support he was giving her, which pleased him that he could play that kind of “rear guard” action with Lia.
He had special plans for their next weekend, and he could hardly wait to spring it on her. He imagined how she’d look when he told her where they were going.
Finishing up, he washed and dried his hands. Cav had made some good friends among the construction crew and decided to see if Robert needed anything yet. Then, he would join the group standing beneath the large elm tree. A cold beer sure would taste good on a hot, muggy July day.
“How are you and Cav getting along?” Dilara asked Lia directly, not mincing words.
Holding the beaded glass of cold iced tea in her hands, Lia said, “Really well, actually.” She wasn’t sure that Dilara knew of their after-hours relationship, and decided she was referring to their work at Artemis.
“He’s a very insightful young man,” Dilara murmured, sipping her tea, pushing the swing a little with the toe of her white leather shoe.
“I’m amazed at his knowledge of Asia and Africa,” enthused Lia. “I’m learning so much from him.”
Dilara hummed a bit, then smiled. “I was referring to your private life, Lia. Not that it’s my business, but I rather pride myself on knowing the people who work with me. Cav seems very devoted to you.”
Squirming inwardly, Lia chose her words carefully. “He’s very sensitive. I know he’s a security contractor and my original judgment about him was wrong. He is so much more than that.”
Cav had been right when he said Dilara was a cosmic mother hen of sorts. She truly cared for everyone and made it her business to know them on a personal level. That, in part, was why Lia wanted to work at Delos—precisely because she’d heard talk that Dilara Culver was the dream boss to work for. And the gossip had been accurate.
“You seem to enjoy his company on weekends. I hear talk from the girls at HR that you two are usually gadding about, like going caving in Virginia.”
Lia smiled a little, running her fingers through the cool beads of water on the tall glass. “Yes. My father is a spelunker and he started teaching me caving when I was ten. I love it. And Cav does, too, as it turns out.”
“I know nothing about caving,” Dilara admitted. “And I did know Cav was interested in them. I whispered to him one time that he should take you caving while you were both in Costa Rica.”
“Yes, he did.” Lia smiled at her. “And he later admitted that you’d whispered that information to him about me. He said he had to learn about caves when he was a SEAL.”
Dilara studied her through her thick lashes. “Well, I think you two are well matched. I knew about Cav’s training as a SEAL and knew you loved spelunking, so I thought that was a natural fit for you two.”
“I was, actually,” Lia admitted. “It brought us together, Dilara and I’m glad you told him.”
“I rather pride myself in pairing up men and women who I instinctively feel are right for one another,” she admitted.
Lia chortled. “You know you’re called the Royal Matchmaker behind your back, don’t you?” She saw Dilara’s aquamarine eyes gleam with amusement.
“Indeed I do. I tell Robert that I wear that badge with a great deal of pride.” She reached out, touching Lia’s knee. “And what does caving do for you? There must be some kind of positive experience you receive from it…”
Lia appreciated Dilara’s insight. “A cave makes me feel safe, Dilara. I feel like I’m in Mother Earth’s womb and I’m the child she’s carrying. A lot of caves are alive, wet and humid. There’s life in there, and you can feel it. Every cave breathes, and I can almost feel it, like our Mother Earth is breathing. I feel completely alive in a cave system and love exploring them and discovering all their secrets.”
“I see. And Cav? Does he feel similarly?”
“Yes, he does love exploring the caves,” Lia admitted,”
“I know you were caving while in Costa Rica. It must have helped you a lot.”
Lia knew she was referring to her struggles with the attack. “Yes, it did. It’s a very healing hobby for me, Dilara.”
“I can see the results of it right now. To me, that’s amazing.”
“Maybe you’d like to go with us? We could show you how to do it.”
Laughing, Dilara held up her manicured hand. “Oh, no! You’ve discovered the chink in my armor. I’m claustrophobic! I can’t stand being in enclosed places and I could never go into a dark, wet, small place like a cave. I’d panic.”
Lia’s heart went out to her. “I didn’t know,” she murmured, reaching out to touch Dilara’s arm. “Were you always that way?”
“No, dear, but when I was six years old Turkey had an earthquake. You know Turkey has earthquakes quite often?”
“Yes.”
“I was with my mother in an old mosque they wanted to repair and save. She was going to give the owners money for repairs. It was a very old building in a small town, inland and north of our home. We were down in the basement when an earthquake struck.” Dilara grimaced. “We ended up being trapped there for two days before they found us and dug us out. I can remember the earthquake’s roar, the feeling of ground heaving, and then everything falling in on us.
Luckily, there was an old, sturdy wooden table that my mother had the wits to drag me beneath. A huge amount of bricks and mortar fell on us but we were shielded by the table. I remember choking on the dust, and the darkness terrified me. I couldn’t breathe and began to panic. My poor mother held me and told me it would be all right. But at six, I didn’t believe her.”
“That must have been awful,” Lia sympathized. “No wonder you’re afraid of small, dark places. I would be, too. Did you have any way to call for help?”
“No, we didn’t. And I was dying of thirst, and cried so much that the tears stopped forming in my eyes. My mother was beside herself because I was so frightened.”
“Were you hurt?”
“No. My mother had a broken arm, but she never let me know it. After they found us and dug us out, I saw how swollen and bruised her arm w
as. At six, you don’t realize very much about other people,” and she gave Lia a wry look.
“Of course not,” Lia agreed. “How long did it take you to get over the shock of that, Dilara?”
“Many, many years. Originally my room at my parents’ villa was very small, an inner room without windows. I remember that first night when my mother tucked me into my bed and I cried my eyes out. I said it felt like I was trapped in that mosque basement again. I refused to stay in the room, leaving my bed and went out into in the hall. There my mother found me the next morning, sleeping on the swing out on the patio. There were nice, fat cushions on it and it was during the summer, so it was very warm. I slept well out there. My parents wisely moved me to a new bedroom in another part of our villa, with huge windows and lots of light. I was very happy there, and I could sleep and not feel as if the walls were closing in on me.”
“It’s so amazing, Dilara. Looking at you, no one would guess you’d had such a devastating experience. You’re so self-assured!”
Patting Lia’s hand, she said, “We all have scars, my dear. Some are just better hidden than others.”
“You’re right,” Lia agreed quietly. “How did you handle the feeling of being buried alive?”
“A day at a time,” Dilara said. “I was traumatized, of course. The claustrophobia was subtle at first, but by the time I was twelve, I realized how imprisoned I was by it. I’d look at every building and assess it. If it seemed too small, too dark, or if I had a bad feeling about entering it, I didn’t. My father finally sat me down one day and had a long talk with me. He was very loving about it, but he told me I had an invisible jail cell I carried around with me.”
Her lips twitched. “He painted me a very visual picture of what was happening to me and I got it.”
“What did you do, then?” Lia asked, interested for her own reasons.
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