“Evie,” he whispered.
His breath brushed against the back of her neck, tickling her and sending delicious shivers up her spine. “Yeah?”
“I love you.” He nuzzled his nose against her neck and hugged her tighter.
She squeezed her eyes shut as tears threatened. “I love you too,” she choked out.
“Aw, I love you guys too,” Seth mocked suddenly.
Evie burst into giggles.
“Dude,” he continued in warning, “if you guys even think about doing the dirty while I’m laying here you can just forget it right now.”
Evie’s face burned, but Traevyn’s rumbling chuckle made her smile. She loved that he laughed more often. She sighed and thought back to the night they’d spent stranded in the fog. She had felt so right sleeping close to him, being near him. That night had changed everything for her.
She could feel Traevyn’s heartbeat as she lay there, and it made her own heart sigh a little. His beautiful heart. It was still beating. It was still alive and, as long as she lived, she would make sure it never broke again. As long as he was willing to give her his heart, she would protect it always.
* * * *
Evie had to admit, she was a little nervous sitting across from Talis. While he was much more easygoing and lighthearted than Traevyn, he had the same nerve-wracking intensity when he was being serious. She folded her hands in front of her, waiting for whatever it was he wanted to say, as it was apparent he wanted to say something.
The waitress came by to refill their coffee and take their orders, and when she left, Talis turned his light blue eyes up to Evie and smiled.
“Evie,” he began, “why do you love my brother?”
She blinked. “Excuse me?” What kind of a conversation starter was that? Talk about getting right to the point.
His smile broadened. “I mean Traevyn, in the state he was in when you met him, was not an easy man to love. He didn’t really have a lot of redeeming qualities. I’m just curious as to how someone as vibrant as you managed to fall in love with him despite his obvious issues. Julian and I could barely stand him and we’re his family. Our parents didn’t even know who he was anymore.”
She gave a small smile and played with one of the sugar packets. “Traevyn has always been beautiful to me,” she said. “Granted, I thought he was a world class jerk when I met him, but that didn’t change the fact that his art was fantastic and I knew his art was a reflection of his soul. When he gave me a glimpse of that soul outside of his paintings, I could do nothing less than love it.” She sighed. “Talis, no one’s ever really understood me. No one ever made me feel beautiful or validated. Traevyn understands me. He understands my passion and my creativity. He’s always made me feel validated in my thoughts, even when we were having conversations about nothing at all.”
Talis smiled. “I remember when I was fifteen I was pissed because Traevyn was getting married and I thought I’d never see him again. Me, Julian and Traevyn were like the Three Musketeers our whole life, but Traevyn always understood me in a way Julian couldn’t. Julian is very smart, very kind, but not really that creative. Not in the ways Traevyn and I are. Traevyn’s always made me feel validated, like you said.”
He paused for a moment and frowned down at the table. “How in the world did you get him to open up to you? None of us could do it, Evie. We thought he was going to kill himself one day. His sorrow was just eating him alive…”
Sudden tears filled his eyes and he stopped to clear his throat and compose himself. When he had his emotions under control, he looked back up at Evie. “He never got any better. He never worked through his grief. He just became more and more distant and cold. There was nothing we could do. Julian and I just had to sit back and watch as our brother and best friend slowly slipped away from us.
“When I saw him coming toward me in the airport, I didn’t even know who I was looking at. He was a completely different person. He was the brother I remembered.” He shook his head in wonder. “How? How did you do it? How did you bring him back when none of us could?”
Evie stared at him, her heart twisting at Talis’s obvious display of emotion. She shrugged helplessly. “I don’t even know, Talis. I just listened to him…and loved him. He was so easy to love. I never thought he’d love me back.” She was actually still having trouble believing any of what had happened the night before. It seemed like such a surreal dream.
“My brother has never taken love lightly. It’s not a casual thing to him. For him to tell you he loves you… Amy was a sorry excuse for a human. Maybe he can experience real love with you, Evie. The kind he deserves.”
She smiled. “I hope so, Talis. I hope I can always be everything he needs. I know that sounds really sudden, but…”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t sound sudden. If that’s how your heart feels there doesn’t need to be any set times. Just love him, Evie. Love him for real, the way he deserves. If you do, he’ll be yours forever.” He smiled. “Traevyn mates for life.”
She grinned and felt a blush stain her cheeks. She knew she should be unsettled by the seriousness of the conversation when Traevyn had only told her he loved her the night before, but it didn’t feel strange to her. She wanted to be with Traevyn. She wanted to love him forever. Talis’s words did not make her uncomfortable.
“Evie.”
She looked up and met Talis’s gaze again.
“You are a unique and amazing person. Thank you for bringing my brother and best friend back to me. Julian will love you as well when you meet him, as will our parents. You brought light back into our family.”
Evie bit her bottom lip and averted her gaze, feeling her eyes fill with tears. Blind acceptance was new to her. She thought back to the party at the deBoers, how she had watched everyone in envy, how she had wanted so much to have a close group of family and friends. Maybe she could have that with Traevyn and his family. It seemed attainable when she was talking to Talis. She sighed, thinking that Traevyn may just be the answer to all of her prayers. Perhaps they could both make one another’s dreams come true.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The day was clearer than normal with the sun shining joyfully down on the water as Evie sat on Traevyn’s balcony. She was sketching, as usual. It had been a week since they’d left Sedona and Evie had graduated to drawing on Traevyn’s balcony as it had a better view. Plus, he didn’t mind now that they were together. She spent more time in his room than anywhere else anyway, especially since he had that gigantic tub. She practically lived in that tub.
Her life had been nothing short of bliss since leaving Sedona. She and Traevyn spent almost all of their time together and were so affectionate that Seth’s gag reflexes were working overtime. Half the time Evie didn’t even know what to do with herself. She’d never had a real boyfriend and every guy she’d liked had only thought of her as a sister. Maxim deBoer had been more in her league at least, even if he was married. Traevyn was one of those men she never would have even attempted to go for. He was like a celebrity. Unattainable, too beautiful and amazing for someone like her.
She still had trouble comprehending that he was really in love with her. Her mind reeled every time he kissed her, making her feel breathless and lightheaded, and her blood burned every time he touched her. To her, Traevyn was like one of those steamy romance novel men who fulfilled every woman’s most wicked desires.
A smile curled her lips as she added some shading to her drawing. She was drawing Traevyn again, as usual. He was her favorite subject. Suddenly, she felt a light touch on the back of her neck and her hair moved away from her shoulder. She smiled wider. He was always so silent, sneaking up on her without warning. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips touch her neck. Her heart skipped a beat, as it was accustomed to doing, and she let out a soft sigh. His hands rested on her shoulders and one of them crept up to hold her head while he continued to lavish her neck and jaw with intoxicating, tender kisses.
“What are you dra
wing?” he whispered, grazing his teeth along her skin.
She grinned. “The only thing I ever draw.”
He smiled and rested his chin on her shoulder as he peered down at the sketch. There was no real structure to it. Just an absent sketch done as if she couldn’t get him out of her mind. He hoped that was the case. In the past week he had come to crave Evie. She was not only something he needed, but something he wanted desperately.
It was strange being in love and yet feeling so differently. With Amy, he had worshipped her, would have laid down and died for her if she’d asked. At the time, he’d been sure that was real love, but now he thought it felt more like slavery. While there was no doubt in his mind that his love for Amy had been nothing but genuine, Evie made him feel differently. She didn’t make him feel like he needed to sacrifice anything to be with her. She didn’t demand anything from him, except her usage of his tub, but he could overlook that. With Evie he felt more like a complimentary part to something already beautiful. Like the right shading on a well-drawn picture. She made him feel like he was special just as he was. She had always made him feel that way. Even during his blackest days.
Amy’s reasoning for cheating on him had been that she’d felt second to his painting. Evie understood his art. She was as passionate about it as he was. She would never ask him to give it up. It was essential to his survival and she knew that. He was a whole person with Evie. She made him better; she made him good. And even though she felt plain, he thought she was magnificent. He had never seen her as plain. Even on that first day when she had come to his door he had thought she was lovely, though he would never have admitted it at the time. He had long ago lost his taste for tall, figureless women with perfect hair, perfect makeup, and perfect skin. He would much rather have Evie with her fantastic curves, petite frame, and bright smile. She was more of a goddess to him than any woman on Earth.
He heaved a sigh, dreading what he was going to say next. “Evie, I want to show you something.”
She frowned and twisted in her chair so she could look at him. His voice had a serious note to it and that troubled her. “What is it?”
He gave her a small smile and took her hand in his, helping her out of the chair and leading her into his room. He sat down on the edge of his bed and slid over two thick picture albums, pulling them onto his lap.
Evie’s eyes widened as she recognized them. They were the ones Seth had knocked over, the ones Traevyn had gotten so upset about. She met his eyes and gave him a questioning frown.
He sighed again. “I want to share everything with you,” he murmured. “This is my past, who I was to make me who I am. I need to show this to you, Evie.”
She stared at him, amazed and touched that he trusted her so completely, that he wanted her to know all of him, even the parts that caused him pain. She sat down next to him, close so that their bodies were touching.
Traevyn closed his eyes, and she felt him ease almost instantly at her presence. She reached her hand up to cradle his cheek in her palm and he smiled. “Traevyn, you don’t have to do this,” she assured him. “You don’t owe me anything. I have never asked you to share your past with me and I never will. If it hurts you to look at these—”
He shook his head, silencing her. “It does hurt me,” he stated. He opened his eyes to look into hers. “But this was my life. Amy and Leanna were real. They happened. I can’t pretend they didn’t. And it’s not fair for me to ask you to pretend they didn’t either. You shouldn’t have to wonder about the secrets I hold inside. I don’t want to keep anything from you. Ever.” He sighed. “I need to heal, Evie, and I can’t do it if I keep all of my problems up on a shelf where I run from them every time I glance their direction. I need to look at these even if it hurts me. I have to do it. I have to remember so I can move on. I can’t look at them alone. I need you here with me, Evie. You make me strong.”
She nodded and reached down to take his hand in hers. “Whatever you need, Traevyn.”
His eyes filled with tenderness. “I remember you saying that to me before.” He shook his head and touched her face. “You have always been so willing to give me whatever I’ve needed.”
She smiled, knowing in her heart that there would never be anything he could ask of her that would be too much. She would do anything for him. He’d had her under his spell from the moment he’d opened his door.
“I will show you the pictures of my wedding first,” he said. “Then I will share with you the joy of my baby girl.”
She squeezed his hand in reassurance and waited.
Traevyn swallowed, took a deep breath, and opened the wedding album he had sworn he would never look at again. The first picture was their main wedding picture. He and Amy standing in a beautiful garden. He was in a double breasted tux and his hair was pulled back and braided. Amy was in a cream-colored dress with spaghetti straps and a large skirt with a long train. He drew in a shaky breath as he looked at her face. He remembered her laugh, remembered the feel of her hand as he slipped the ring on her finger…
“Traevyn, we don’t have to look at these, really,” Evie said, obviously seeing how difficult it was for him.
Her voice anchored him. She was a light banishing the threatening darkness. He shook his head, dispersing the painful memories. “It’s not Amy that it pains me to remember,” he said. “It’s the betrayal, but I’m fine.”
Evie looked down at the wedding picture and wrinkled her nose.
Traevyn caught the expression and frowned thoughtfully. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “You look funny in a tux, out of place. If I was marrying you I wouldn’t want you in a tux and I would want your beautiful hair flowing free.” She suddenly seemed to realize what she was saying and clamped her mouth shut, a furious blush staining her cheeks.
He smiled and lifted her chin with his finger. He gazed down into her eyes and kissed her with gentleness. When he pulled away, he touched her cheek, then turned back to the photo album and began the journey through his past.
It was strange to revisit his storybook wedding. It seemed like so long ago… In another lifetime, really. He supposed that’s what it was. A page in history and nothing more. There had been times, right after the divorce, when he’d stared at the pictures for hours, recalling every detail so as to never forget the way she felt, the way she smelled. Now, they were only fleeting memories. It was painful to remember, but no longer devastating. It was a dull ache brought about by the memory of such a bitter betrayal and heartbreak, but it was not her that he missed.
When Traevyn turned the last page, he felt a sense of relief come over him. He’d made it through. He still lived. It seemed less painful somehow. Maybe it was because he had confronted his demons. Maybe it was because Evie was there, still holding his hand. For whatever reason, he felt a little freer than he had before. He closed the book and ran his hand over the back cover, saying a silent goodbye to the life he once knew.
He sighed. “So, what did you think?”
“You had a lovely wedding, Traevyn,” she replied, her tone flat.
He smiled. She sounded very unconvincing. He was sure that looking at pictures of him and his ex-wife was about as fun for her as it was for him. He reached out to absently play with her hair. “How would you want your wedding?” he asked. “Have you thought about it before?”
“Thought about it?” She giggled, some of the tension in her voice dissipating. “I’ve fantasized until my brain hurt.”
His smile turned into a grin. “Tell me.”
“I always wanted to get married at night.”
He raised his eyebrows. “At night?”
She nodded. “Outside somewhere with lots of torches and Japanese paper lanterns. I don’t know. Something about the soft glow seems so romantic. All the tables lit by candles…”
“That sounds beautiful, Evie.” He didn’t tell her that he had secretly always wanted a nighttime wedding as well. Amy would never have gone for that. She was very
traditional. She would have thought he’d lost his mind.
With dread, he got back to the task at hand. He set the wedding album aside, exposing Leanna’s baby book. He stared at it for a moment, and his fingers trembled as he opened the cover. He was blasted by a picture of her as a newborn and a dried wildflower slipped out of the fold and down the page. The air slammed out of his lungs as the memory assaulted him. She had picked him that flower. The three of them had been walking and she’d run ahead. She’d given it to him along with a huge hug…
He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling sick to his stomach. Images of her barraged him, followed by the terrible scene of her little body falling under the wheels of that truck. He started to shake uncontrollably. “I can’t do this,” he rasped.
Evie took the book off of his lap and set it aside. She stood to wrap her arms around him and cradled his head to her chest. “You need to let it out, Traevyn,” she soothed. “It’s okay. I’m with you. You’re not alone. It’s okay to miss her. It’s okay to cry.”
His body shook as he fought for control. He had cried in front of Evie before, but he had never completely lost it in front of anyone. He hadn’t cried at her funeral. For a solid two weeks he had remained in bed afterward, his tears a never ending flood, but he had always been by himself. He hadn’t cried in front of his brothers. Not like he wanted to now. Not the body-wracking sobs that were threatening to choke him.
“Traevyn.”
Her voice was so soft, so loving. He forced himself to meet her eyes. She caressed her fingers across his face, tracing the lines. “Trust me,” she pleaded. “Trust me enough to let me see your grief. Trust me with the burden you have always carried alone. Trust me enough to let me in the darkest shadow of your heart. If you don‘t, you will never be whole. You‘ll never heal. You‘ll always be broken.”
Dark Masterpiece (Serendipity Series 3) Page 21