‘I did hurt Joanne… . I tried to kill her… . I wanted to kill her. I could have done it with my bare hands!’
Kathy rose from the chair, but David gently held her arm and sat her down again. ‘No, you have to listen… . You must know why I did it. You must trust me.’
David told them everything. Of Joanne’s affair with George Keldas. How she said he’d abused her and then how she’d stalked him in retribution. How David had unwittingly kissed Joanne, and how she’d followed him and pestered him ever since. He told them about the night on the fells, when Joanne refused to come home if he didn’t give her a promise of marriage. Then there were the endless letters she’d sent him when he was still at Keld Head. The phone calls and her diary, explicitly describing the relationship with George Keldas and the love and fantasies about himself. And finally, how they had met on Claife Heights, when she had taunted him. How she’d struck him on the back with a heavy branch of wood; a blow so strong that David thought it could have killed him if it was any higher, or on his head, which he was certain it was intended to be. That she’d blackmailed him, saying she knew George wasn’t his real father, and threatened to expose it to everyone. And that he now knew the identity of his real father.
David looked into his mother’s eyes and witnessed the reaction he had waited long months to see.
‘This is all my fault, Davey. I’m so sorry… . It’s not your fault. You shouldn’t have to go through this hell.’ She shook her head; her heart now heavy.
Angus Piercy interrupted. ‘David… . Do the police know any of this?’
David looked at the kindly man, and strengthened by his mother’s apology said, ‘No, I don’t think so … but I don’t know what Joanne’s told them.’
‘Have you admitted anything?’
‘No, I lied.’
The solicitor shook his head. ‘Do they have any evidence against you - anything that could prove you were with her?’
‘But I’m guilty… . I did hurt her.’
‘Then it must be self-defence - you were provoked. If they have no evidence, they cannot keep you here long. Leave this to me. You must come too, Mrs Keldas, please.’
David paced the floor of the small room and wondered if he had any hope left. He remembered the clock in the interview room and knew he should have been with Hannah by now. He cursed and gently banged his head against the cold wall.
*
It was some time later in the evening when the door was opened again and one of the policemen called him. ‘Right, Keldas… . Out!’
David slipped from the bed expecting another interrogation.
‘You’re let off this time… . But don’t go anywhere near that girl again. You’re both lying and we know it. She insists she doesn’t know her attacker and she says it certainly wasn’t you. But we know it’s you all right … she’s dropped all charges. I don’t believe either of you, and you’ve both wasted our time.’
David found it hard to believe he was actually free and was stunned as he wandered into the dark hallway of the police station. Kathy was sitting alone on a small bench.
‘Come on, son… . Let’s get you home.’ She led David out into the cool night air, holding firmly on to his arm as if to guide him.
He took a deep breath to fill his lungs and remove the stagnant air of the police cell from his body. Then the beaming headlights of a car shone across the car park and David saw a Mercedes waiting, with its engine running.
Barry Fitzgerald came over and put his arm across his son’s back and guided him to the rear seat. As they drove away, David could hear his mother’s voice quietly talking to Barry, as she sat beside him in the front seat. David fell asleep. He didn’t know where he was going; he didn’t really care.
*
The large bed was snug and warm; David slipped under the covers. A hot bath had rested his muscles and the chicken broth his mother had made, reminded him of life back at Keld Head; the glass of brandy Barry had given him, stood empty at his side. The cotton sheets felt soft and comforting to his body. David had said very little as he entered his father’s house.
As daybreak crept into the bedroom, David lay awake, not knowing if he had slept. And as he listened to the dawn chorus, he looked around at the opulence he found himself in. His soiled clothes still lay in a neatly folded pile on the chair beside him. He heard a few cars driving by and the clinking sound of milk bottles as a milkman delivered.
He began to contemplate, that, if not for his mother, he would probably still be in the prison cell. He attempted to sleep again but the more he tried the more sleep fled from him. He wondered where Hannah was; was he close to her room? Yet, he had no desire to look for her.
Through half-closed eyelids, David looked at the plush carpets, the soft furnishings of turquoise jacquard and lace. He wondered what life would have been like if this had been his home, and he’d been reared by his real father. And, as he mused over his surroundings, a shivering feeling stole through his body as if he had been woven in the womb and re-born, like he had come into the world with just the skin on his body, and through a hard labour.
David heard the bedroom door open as it brushed on the fibres of the deep shag pile carpet. He sat up in bed, stretched and brushed his hair straight with his fingers.
‘I’m sorry it’s early, Davey, but I couldn’t sleep.’ Barry lifted David’s folded-up clothes off the chair and put them on the floor. He sat beside him on the bedside chair and handed him a mug of tea.
‘Don’t worry… . Neither could I.’ David yawned. ‘What time is it?’
‘It’s five-thirty and I have to be in Kentmere by seven. I wanted to speak to you before I left… . This is a funny kind of meeting place isn’t it? I never dreamt one day you’d be sleeping under my own roof.’ Barry looked closely at David expecting to find a clue to his feelings, but found none.
David leant back on the softly padded headboard and sipped his tea. ‘Thank you for looking after me.’
‘It’s something I should have done years ago.’
David smiled and Barry knew he could continue.
‘I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry - if you can accept my apology. But I wanted to tell you not to hate us, especially not your mother. I’m just as guilty.’
‘Please … please don’t. You don’t have to do this.’
‘No, you’re wrong. I do have to do this. I couldn’t bear for you to think badly of your mother and me. Please don’t speak now, and just hear me out. I must explain.’
David looked at Barry and for the first time in his life, saw the face of a father he respected, and tried to see himself in the man’s eyes. Although David’s own eyes were heavy through lack of sleep, they widened as he saw a mirror of his own reflection and wondered why he’d never noticed it before.
‘Your mother and I were young… . I was still at university and she was already engaged to George. We made a big mistake, Davey, and although we dearly loved one another, it was too late. She told George she was pregnant by me, and that she must break off their engagement, but he pleaded with her. He promised her he would look after you as if you were his own and never tell a soul. It broke my heart to see her marry him. I felt helpless. I had years of studying in front of me and at the time couldn’t have given you the life you deserved. I finished my training and married Eleanor and I stayed here so I could be near to you. I tried to help you with the farm bills, not to make them so high… . Eleanor never wanted any children, but that didn’t matter because I had you. I could satisfy myself by coming to the farm now and again - that made me happy. Before George was taken to prison, even before he tried to shoot you, I could see you were unhappy. I argued with your mother that we should tell you - in fact, I begged her, but she thought, and perhaps wrongly, it would hurt you more if you knew the truth. We made a bad decision, Davey, and I’ve found it hard to live with, and I guess so have you.’
David listened to every word he said, trying to put the jigsaw pieces of his life tog
ether. Although Barry’s explanation wasn’t complete, it was sufficient to satisfy him; he guessed one day he could learn more.
‘I hope someday you can forgive me, I can’t stand it, that you might think badly of me,’ he repeated.
David didn’t realise, but Barry’s desire for love reflected his own. They had both been denied it and as David listened, he knew why he’d always felt comfortable with this man.
‘Your mother thinks we should still keep things quiet, but that’s up to you, now.’
‘I don’t want anything to change. I’ve had a rough time, but I feel safe now. I don’t even feel I deserve this attention.’
Barry stood up and collected the empty beakers. ‘Then stay with me a day or so. Hannah leaves on Tuesday and I think you’ll want to be with her as much as I do. Oh, by the way, we’ve told her everything. She’s in surgery this morning, but I’ve given her the rest of the day off. Get some rest and make yourself at home, because that’s how I want you to think of this place if you can.’
Hope was within grasp.
After Barry left him, David felt peace return. He belonged to someone, he was loved again and everything he had ever wanted was in his hands and ready for the taking. But this luxury could never be his home; he’d thought Foxglove Cottage to be a haven and Betty was the only one who’d loved him when he needed it. David didn’t know if he should stay long with Barry; he loved Betty too much.
He slipped back down under the sheets and, finally, slept.
*
Hannah had taken full control of Barry’s kitchen. She had tidied the cupboards, re-stocked the fridge and cleaned the cooker and worktops; all that Eleanor had neglected.
She started to prepare some bacon, carefully removing the rinds with scissors. She washed some mushrooms and tomatoes, put coffee in the percolator and poured two large glasses of orange juice. The sun poured down into the kitchen and onto her face. Hannah felt a kind of euphoria today and she knew why.
As she worked, she became aware someone was watching her. She turned and saw David standing behind her, wearing Barry’s navy blue bathrobe. He looked scrubbed and clean, his face a little puffy from sleep.
‘Good morning, or should I say good afternoon, David.’
He stayed motionless at the door, unsure of what to do. He hesitated, and then padded bare foot across the cold lino towards her.
‘I have strict instructions to get you some breakfast.’ Hannah’s face said everything.
All he could say, was, ‘thank you.’
David sat at the table and watched her working as she started to fry the eggs and grill the bacon. She chatted to him nervously about her morning’s work; how she had removed some rotting teeth from a poodle, and helped give an elderly labrador a hysterectomy.
David had the appetite to eat everything Hannah gave him, as she sat opposite him across the table. When he finished, he reached across the table to take hold of her hand. ‘I’m going to miss you, Hannah.’
‘I don’t want to go, Davey. I don’t want to leave you and Barry.’
‘I’m flattered you feel that way. I can understand it about Barry, but I’m not worth it… .’ and he shook his head. ‘I must persuade you to go, as much as I want you to stay… . Don’t hang around for a loser like me. You can’t let all those years of work go to waste.’
‘But there’s so much here for me. Barry said he would have given up everything he could for you, but your mother wouldn’t let him.’
‘Maybe she was right.’ David squeezed her hand. ‘I can give you nothing. What have I got? An old car and that’s it! I’ve no money and probably no job … oh, yes my genetic makeup may be accounted for now,’ he wryly smiled, ‘but look at the upbringing I’ve had. Surely, George’s influence will have more say on my character than Barry’s ever will. I’m at rock bottom, Hannah.’
‘None of that matters. It’s you - it’s you that matters, can’t you see it,’ then she laughed. ‘I think I hated you once, you know, but that didn’t last long. When I saw you with Linzi at the bus-station, I thought you were lovers, I was so jealous. When I thought you had something going with Joanne Milton, I found myself hating her. Any way, you do have something: this house is rightly yours and this wealth.’ Hannah gestured. ‘Barry will look after you now.’
‘That doesn’t matter to me… . I’d rather live at Foxglove Cottage and sleep in my aunt’s rickety old bed. This luxury isn’t for me.’
Hannah knew David was right and was pleased he was no gold digger. His honesty endeared him more to her.
‘On the day of Uncle Fred’s funeral I vowed I’d never leave Keld Head or marry any one. And I think that decision influenced my behaviour - I was rude to you, I know. And I’ve done nothing these last six months to make up for it. I only flirted with you to satisfy my own desire.’
‘Oh … thanks, Davey! And is that what this is all about?’ Hannah held her gaze at him - she had to be sure.
‘No, it isn’t … I’m sorry. I’m useless with words. I want more than flirting, Hannah. But remember I would have been in prison, if I hadn’t have lied. I could have killed Joanne you know!’
‘Oh, for goodness sake, David! Stop it. I could have killed her too, when I found out what she’d done to you.’ Hannah gathered up the empty dishes and took them to the kitchen sink and, turning her back on David, began to run the hot water. It didn’t matter what he said; Hannah’s feelings for David had taken over and her heart was careering out of control. There was nothing more he could say that would change her opinion of him. She knew she was being irrational. She lowered her head and wanted to cry. She stood for a few moments unable to speak and wondered how he would respond.
Then she felt David slide his arms around her waist and envelop her. He leant on her back and began to kiss the nape of her neck and her hair, whispering and breathing softly in her ear. ‘I’m sorry, Hannah, I’ve made you cry … I only want to do what’s best for you.’
She reached back and their hands entwined; fingers were bound together as an unbreakable chain.
22
WITH GOLD
Kathy once again tried to take charge of her son and, for now, he let her. She understood that their relationship would have to take on another aspect; if David put his foot down she would have to relent and, besides, there was now another woman in his life who would have a greater influence.
Kathy liked Hannah. She was a pretty girl, sensible too, and would be good for David. But it was Hannah’s bond with Barry that recommended her the most, and if Barry didn’t think so much of her, Kathy doubted she would.
Hannah had also made David happy again. He laughed and teased as he used to. Some of his wit he’d learned from spending long days with Tony Milton.
Kathy had been devastated about the behaviour of her dead husband; she never believed him to be the adulterer as he’d rightly accused her. She was still uncertain if they’d been told the truth and perhaps Joanne Milton was fantasising again. But it meant her relationship with Barry could take on a new meaning, as David was no longer ignorant of the past. Yet, even in this, she would have to be cautious and not cause any gossip. She would continue to keep David’s genealogy a secret.
David still refused to talk about Keld Head and showed little interest in the farm. It disturbed Kathy to think how much work he’d left her with, but she treated it as a just punishment for her error. And as much as she wanted him back, it had to come from him, but it didn’t.
On the first occasion when they were alone at Barry’s house, she confronted him about Keld Head.
‘David, you must think about your future. What are you going to do? Will you come back to Keld Head?’
He looked at her, bewildered. ‘No, I’ll go back to look after Betty and try and get another job… . I can’t leave her now.’
Kathy was ashamed she hadn’t considered it; she was still thinking of herself. ‘Then you’re more righteous than I am, son. Don’t worry about money; look after Betty and we’ll
help you out. She isn’t short of a penny or two. If you go back to her, she’ll do anything to see that you stay. If Betty can see out her days with you, she’ll be happy.’
David had already thought this out.
*
On Hannah’s last few days, they were inseparable. They had walked together, laughed and played like children, tormenting Barry with late nights and loud music. He said he would be glad of some peace, but that was a lie.
The morning Hannah was due to leave was a scorcher; deep blue sky was speckled with white fluffy clouds, which floated across the horizon on gentle breezes. The fells stood out gloriously, enticing her to stay; but she was committed to go.
The emotional rescue of David had taken its toll on Hannah’s feelings. But the few days’ rest with him and his happy and cheerful manner bonded them closer.
She learned how alike Barry and David were, not only in appearance but also in disposition. In fact, Hannah was glad David was returning to Betty’s cottage before their connection was discovered. Their obvious similarities may have given away their true relationship to anyone who saw the two men together. But Hannah had more than one concern about David, as he never mentioned Joanne Milton to her and, in some ways, she wished he had; she hoped David had nothing more to tell, but his silence on the matter did nothing to reassure her.
David packed away his few belongings in a holdall and put them in Barry’s spare car. Hannah insisted she be the one to take David home to Foxglove Cottage. Home, was the expression David had used when he left Barry. He didn’t mean to infer any disrespect for the kindness he’d received, and neither did he want to snub Barry’s offer of a roof over his head; he knew he may need it one day.
*
When Betty saw Hannah again, she peered into her lovely brown eyes. She remembered the young woman now; her features had become lost in her memory. But Betty hadn’t forgotten how easy David was with Hannah, and she understood why he liked her.
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