Same/Difference (The Depth of Emotion #4)

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Same/Difference (The Depth of Emotion #4) Page 9

by D. D. Lorenzo


  “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. My friend and I were talking.” I quickly changed the subject to his favorite topic, himself. “What are you doing in Vegas?”

  He eyed me skeptically but behaved himself in front of Liz. “A little relaxation; a little gambling.” He turned toward her and extended his hand.

  “Blake Matthews. And you are?”

  Her eyes flared at his flippant tone. “Elizabeth Santiago. Paige and I go way back.”

  “Really?” He looked at me, straightening his shoulders. “I don’t remember her mentioning you.” His stare was intense. “I haven’t seen you for a while. We should have dinner while I’m here.”

  Liz quickly resented his misguided sense of authority, and intervened. “I’m afraid I’ve monopolized her calendar while she’s in town.”

  He didn’t look at her, behaving as if she wasn’t there. “I’m sure not all of her time is taken,” he countered. He gave me a defiant look.

  “Lunch, then.”

  Liz took a step and I thought for a minute she might slap him. I stilled her by touching the back of her hand. “I’m afraid I have plans.”

  He grinned spitefully. He issued a challenge in his slimy expression as he looked between Liz and me. “Well then. I’ll be sure to catch up with you when you get home.”

  His arrogance bristled my nerves. I couldn’t wait to get away from him. “I’m sorry but we have to go. We’re meeting someone.”

  As we walked away I could still feel his eyes as they burned a hole in my composure. I didn’t say a word, moving quickly toward the intersection of the street to put as much distance between us as I could. While we waited for the light to change, Liz touched me. I’d been so intent on getting away from Blake that I jumped.

  “Breathe.” Liz said the word so softy as she tried to calm me down.

  My shoulders slumped. As if the prospect of an evening with Falcon and Liz hadn’t peppered me with enough edginess, running into Blake fully flavored my nerves. My shoulders slumped from the weighted tension, but Liz’s soft command brought me back to reality. I took a deep breath. Whenever I was near Blake my chest tightened like I’d worn a sweater made of armor, but it was lightening with each breath. I was dizzy from trying to maintain my composure so Liz led me over to a street vendor who was selling cold water. She opened and handed me an icy bottle and I took a slow, long drink. She said nothing, not pressing while giving me some space. Once we began to walk more slowly, her concerned expression turned questioning.

  “He’s the guy I met through Aria’s husband,” I began slowly. “The ‘pain in the ass’ guy I told you about. He keeps pressing, like he wants to go out, but I just don’t like him like that. I don’t understand why he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t need me—and I don’t want him. He’s around models all the time. He’s also one of those guys who’s a little into himself. I mean, he’s good looking enough that he could be a model himself, but I’m really not interested. I just wish he would leave me alone.”

  Liz’s brow furrowed and her jaw clenched. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like that. Don’t get me wrong, you were certainly polite enough, but I could tell you were just going through the motions. I think you’re wrong and he does get it; I just think he doesn’t want to accept it.”

  I shook my head because I disagreed. “I don’t know. He acts like he’s made up his mind that there is more and, because I act nice to him, he thinks there’s more to it.”

  “Or maybe he knows there isn’t more to it but he doesn’t like it,” she countered. “This guy seems like a narcissistic ass. He’s used to getting what he wants and he thinks he’s entitled to you because he wants you. You’re a challenge and, from what I saw, I think he’s a little unstable.”

  “He’s unpredictable, Liz, but he’s harmless. I just want him to leave me alone.”

  Her hand folded over mine and she patted it in a sweet and protective way.

  “Just be careful, Chica. I don’t get a good feeling from him.” She gave me a very cheeky smile. “Now enough of this! Let’s go meet your man.”

  We. Were. Drunk.

  Seriously.

  Drunk.

  I clung onto Falcon’s hand so I wouldn’t fall off my heels. I self -medicated my jumpiness with alcohol. I couldn’t remember what I was nervous about. Dinner with Liz had been completely uneventful. As usual, I overreacted. She was as sweet and sassy with Falcon as she was with me, nonetheless I felt it necessary to calm my frayed nerves. I couldn’t remember all of the bars we went to, but I distinctly remembered that we laughed so hard all night that my face hurt. Our last stop must have been very close because we were walking. Liz, however, was enjoying a ride to her house. I remembered Falcon and Jorge after going to the clubs, but details escaped me like effervescent bubbles. Both men helped me get out of the car while making her stay inside of it. Liz leaned her head out the window. Once she thanked him for a great night she gave him a big kiss on the cheek. Falcon patted the top of the car and told Jorge to get her home.

  My high heels dangled in my fingers and bounced with each step. The concrete beneath my feet connected me with more sober thoughts as I swam in the sweet surrender. Falcon was so close beside me I could feel his body heat. He held my hand, steadying me with each stumbled step. His touch was blistering my plans for being casual. With a blowtorch of pent up desires, I leaned into him savoring the burn while he walked me all the way to my room.

  “Do you want to come in?” I shivered with boldness only to be instantly flamed by a fire of liquid confidence. Each word that tumbled from my lips was laced with need.

  “Yes.” A chuckle came from deep in his chest. “But I’m not going to. Not tonight.”

  “You don’t have to go. You can stay here with me.” I pouted and slid my arms around his neck. He claimed me with a kiss before I knew what was happening. It was hot, wet, and demanding—and better than I’d ever expected. My head grew woozier; my knees went weak. He teased my lips as his tongue ran over them. I wanted more. Need and heat bubbled through my core, threatening to boil over.

  “Stay with me,” I pleaded.

  “Don’t tempt me.” The vibrations of his voice strummed my starving sexuality. I stood on my toes to purr into his ear.

  “I’m not tempting. I’m asking. Nicely.”

  He reached around me and fed the key into the slot. My arms were cascaded around his neck when he opened the door. We practically fell into the room as I lost my balance. As he tried to catch us both, our weight took us slamming into the wall. He fell against me, pinning me with his body and his heat. My hands slid from his shoulders while my fingers enjoyed the ride over the masculine ridges of raw power beneath his shirt. The need in me grew as his muscles rippled beneath my fingertips. Our eyes locked and I fell into a sea of green emotion. He wanted me. His hips pressed into my belly as I threaded my fingers through his hair. He pulled my hips roughly against him. The hard evidence clearly defined the depths of his craving for me, and the knowledge was heady. I breathed hard against his lips.

  “Stay, Fal. Please. You know you want to and…I want you,” I whispered, and followed his lead by lightly licking the rim of his bottom lip.

  “Woman…you’re killing me!”

  His groan resonated through me like an obsessed embrace. His hands slid down my body, possessively grinding me. The wall at my back chilled me while the front of him torched my hunger. He crushed his mouth over mine and expertly claimed it with his tongue. The intensity delivered a shattering explosion of need to my core. It was so intense I barely breathed. I wanted to feel every inch of him in the dark. A woman blind to all else except the detonating intimacy of touch.

  My need for him grew with each breath and drove me to be careless to my own rules. I wanted him to want me, to strip my insecurities and lay bare my hurts. My appetite for him was gluttonous and pulsated deep inside me. I knew he was struggling. He groaned as he came up for air.

  “I want you, beautiful, but…” He pushe
d away. His hands flexed into fists as he regained control. His eyes never left mine as he backed himself toward the door. I narrowed my eyes wickedly, seductively motioning for him to come back with my finger, but it was no use. He reached behind him for the door handle and turned it, the click of the latch severing my hopes with a brutal blade. His lips curled into an agonized smile, the painful evidence of his sacrifice straining beneath his zipper as he strained to speak.

  “I’ll see you in the morning, beautiful.”

  Damn it!

  Frustrated, I flopped on the bed as the hunger inside me dissipated into a black death. I had extended an invitation for him to take what he wanted from me and, still, he was the gentleman, and I wondered about the rumors that called him a man whore. Strangely, I was baffled, but happy. If they were true it meant I really was special to him. Waves of joy and disappointment alternated, swelling and diminishing as fresh memories of the night consumed me.

  I don’t know how much time had passed because I was still savoring them when I heard a faint knock. Excited, I pushed off the bed. I pictured him kicking himself for leaving and coming to his senses. I felt a wide grin begin to form on my lips as I anticipated teasing him. I curled my fingers around the knob and flung the door open fully prepared to mock him.

  “Soooo… change your mind?”

  I froze. Adrenaline rushed through me sending every nerve into overdrive. Blake leered at me as he leaned against the doorframe. Instantaneously, I sobered as fear changed hope into despair. I grabbed the door and tried to slam it. His eyes blackened and he pushed back. I stumbled as he barged into the room.

  “Awww. You don’t seem happy to see me.” Sarcasm dripped with each word. He was drunk.

  I tried to stay calm but teetered between fear and anger. “What are you doing here?”

  “What? No hug and kiss?” His words were slurred and his snicker was filled with evil intent. He grabbed my arm, painfully squeezing as he tried to pull me toward him. I shoved his chest as hard as I could and lost my footing.

  “Get out!” I tried to sound in control as the panic in my voice raised to a dangerous level. My knees shook as I pointed toward the door.

  An evil sneer painted his expression. My demand had the opposite effect and he laughed at me. He lunged and I tried to move but his fingers closed around my throat. Using both hands to break free I struggled to breathe. I sunk my nails deep into his hands drawing blood and he slammed my head against the wall. My fear quickly transformed into terror.

  He pulled one hand away and looked at the blood. His face was tight with rage and I flinched as he raised his fist to me. “You think you can play games with me?” He growled as I sifted oxygen into my lungs. He licked my face like a mad dog. “You know you want this.” His tongue burned my skin as it slithered down my neck and his words burned like acid. I fought like a trapped animal.

  “Get off of me!” I spat the words out through gritted teeth as my mind scrambled for an escape route. I was fighting two battles—Blake and the suffocating panic. “Let me go!!” I screamed and brought my knee up, hard, but he blocked me. He laughed at my effort like a demon possessed. I barely threw him off balance but it was enough to break free. I jolted to the door but he blocked my effort. With nowhere else to go, I scrambled to the other side of the room.

  “It’s okay, baby,” he chuckled. “I like it rough.” His eyes were emotionless. With all my might I strangled my tears but my heartbeat thundered against my chest. He was an animal and I was his prey. His frustration and anger over the many times I’d kept him at arm’s length collected like a powder keg and his anger struck like flint. At any minute he would lose control completely and hurt me. I sobered as an icy sanity rushed through my veins. If I could just stay calm, I could use it to my benefit.

  “C’mere, bitch! We’re just getting started.” He snarled and his expression contorted. He was breathing hard when he lunged forward but, in his plastered condition, his foot caught the edge of the bed. He crashed to the floor. I ran to take the only advantage I might have to escape. I flew over the bed and headed straight for the door in a tsunamic frenzy. I’d just gripped the handle with fingers damp with sweat when I was pulled backward. I screamed as Blake gripped my hair. My neck snapped back as my scalp cried in agony. He wrapped my hair around his arm like a recoiled whip pulling my face to his.

  “You wanna play hellcat, bitch?” His breath reeked and assaulted my face while his spittle seared my skin. I weakened under his powerful hands. I tried to push against him but my petite shoulders were no match for him. He gripped my waist in a painful grasp and tossed me to the floor like I was a ragdoll. I crawled backward as I looked in his eyes. My only hope was to try and reason with him. With a rapid resolve I focused my energy on calming my voice.

  “Blake, we’re friends. You don’t want to do this.”

  “Oh, but I do.” His eyes burned with fury. Like a raging bull, his nostrils flared and the realization that I might not leave this room alive slapped me in the face.

  “Blake, please. You’re drunk,” I said calmly. “Just leave. Go back to your hotel and sleep it off. We’ll forget this ever happened.”

  His gaze dropped to the floor. A flicker of hope sparked and led me to believe that reason was slicing through the madness. I could only hope that I was getting through to him and, if I wasn’t, all I had to do was keep him calm enough so that I could run out of the room.

  As I stood, I inched my way toward the door. He raised his chin watching my every move. I was nearly there when he shrugged his shoulders. He rotated his head to the left and right like he was releasing tension. Pops and cracks from the motion filled the momentary stillness.

  “Maybe you’re right.” An eerie air of calm washed over him and I froze as he walked past me. He reached for the door handle and I prayed he’d leave. All I had to do was keep him calm and wait for him to step out into the hall, and then I could throw the lock. I barely breathed as his fingers tickled the metal. His eyes caught mine and he smirked.

  “But I don’t think so.”

  He swung around so fast that I didn’t realize what was happening and, as he pivoted, his fist connected with my jaw. My vision splintered into fragments as I crashed, face first, into the mirror. My reflection exploded into shattered grains of silver and my world upended. He tore at my hair, and once he had a handful in his fist he pulled back with a ferocity that guaranteed my surrender. I screamed a nightmare as a flood of black terror swallowed me. He pulled my neck back brutally. I landed against his chest with a thud so hard it winded me like a punch to the gut. Blake’s forearm tightened around my neck until I was so immobile I couldn’t breathe. Life drained out of me in puddles of terror as he bit the back of my neck, sinking his teeth in ravenously until I felt the tender skin give way to blood that trickled from my violated flesh. He was a madman.

  There was no one to hear me cry. I had two choices. Surrender or fight. In desperation, I whipped my body back and forth in a tragic dance, hoping to break his hold. My vision was so distorted that I couldn’t focus. Deep in the bowels of desperation I blindly bit and clawed at anything on him that I could reach. Still he refused to let me go, using my head as a battering ram against the fortress of my sanity. I shook so hard that I thought fear would break my bones, but it wasn’t strong enough to break his grip. The carpet raked my skin when he threw me on the floor. He kicked me and I felt the contents of my stomach rise in my throat. One more kick and I rolled to my side praying that I was quick enough to keep my bones from being broken.

  “You’re nothing but a goddamn cock tease.” He spat at me, the slimy excretion landing on my throat as I coughed and gagged from his brutality. The unmistakable sound of a descending zipper ripped me apart with misery as I heaved scattered memories on the floor. I’d been betrayed by his friendship, deluded by his normalcy, and violated by his inhumanity. Of all my tormentors, he would be the one to break my body and set my soul free.

  Tears stung my eyes and a knot
formed in my stomach when I thought of the people who loved me. When I kissed and hugged them goodbye I never thought it would be the last time. I might not come out of this room in anything other than pieces. At best I’d be raped, at worst I would die, but I knew that no matter what happened I would never be the same. I couldn’t help but think of the people I loved, now collateral damage to a madman.

  Blake bent over and made two ropes of my hair. He used them as a painful hoist to raise me to my knees and then he pulled my face to his crotch. His legs were spread and his hardness repulsed me. I tried to turn away but he held me tightly in his grip.

  “Open your mouth damn it!”

  For one hopeful moment clarity presented itself. I realized that my hands were free. I thrust my hands up between his legs and, using my fingers, I grabbed his sack in a death grip and twisted with all of my strength. An ungodly scream escaped him. He let go of my hair and pushed at my head with his fists.

  As he doubled over and fell to the floor I scampered back until I gathered the strength to stand. I tried to hop over him, but he caught my ankle in midair. I kicked at him with my other foot but, even injured, he was stronger than me. He pulled me down and rolled me under him while he slithered over me like a snake. His hips were even with mine once he subdued me. He straddled me and slapped me so hard my ears rang. Two hits—forehand and backhand.

  “You’re going to pay for that!” He growled against my ear. With the last of my energy I bucked my hips up but I couldn’t move. Violently, he ripped the delicate material of my dress and bra and I was smothered by the reality of my circumstances. With a meaty hand, he pulled downward and the ravaged material fluttered over my breast. Sadistically, he exposed me, unveiling a lifetime of disguise with one, brutal motion. Staring at my uncovered flesh, he paused. His mouth twisted and a sadistic sneer appeared.

  “Well, aren’t you just full of surprises.”

  His words stabbed at me with a thick and impaired tongue, but he poked at my tender skin with a pointed finger. I felt my throat close up as fresh emotion choked me. I began to sob.

 

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