by Dawn, Tara
"Hazel, I–"
"Shut up, Jimmy," I snap and he cowers. I hold my hand out not able to look at him. "Give it to me."
"What?" Panic laces his voice.
"You heard me."
"I…I can't," he responds.
"Jimmy, listen to me. That shit is making people sick. People are fucking dying. You think I haven't noticed how strung out you've been?"
Jimmy's head bowed in shame snaps up in shock. Did he think people wouldn't notice he was on drugs, walking around with dilated eyes and moody as hell? Oh, they've noticed. The sweet and kind Jimmy is being replaced with this strung out mess standing before me.
"Does Mariah know? Does she know that you're spending your hard earned money on drugs and taking care of your child high as kite?"
He turns his head before admitting, "She does it with me."
My heart is breaking. I can't believe they are doing this to themselves, and to their child. Tears blur my vision knowing I can't do anything about it. Once again someone I care about is using this shit without thinking of the consequences.
"Please give it to me." My voice croaks and he turns at the sound.
"No." He puts his head down and turns his back to me going to the time clock to punch back in.
As he steps toward the doorway to go back into the kitchen I call out to him.
"Jimmy."
He stops, back stiffening, but doesn't face me.
"The same goes for you. If I catch you buying or using at work, I'll fire you and call the cops."
He doesn't acknowledge me, just walks into the kitchen and gets back to work. I hope and pray that he thinks about what I said and what he and Mariah are doing to themselves and their little family. If Roger discovers he's on drugs, he's gone. I'm trying to help him here, but I'm too late. They've gotten a taste of Snap and they like it. And it's hooking them. I mentally berate myself for not saying something to him sooner. If I had, maybe I could have prevented him from using.
Pretending like nothing happened, I get back to work. I keep my distance from Jimmy and he keeps his from me. We only speak if we have to and it's short and to the point when we do. This is how our relationship will be from now on. Everything has changed and I hate it. I love Jimmy, but this is not the Jimmy I love. I'd say that Jimmy would never do anything like this, but he did.
Cady strolls through the door a little later in her uniform and I look at her questioningly.
"What are you doing here?"
"Roger called and asked me to come in and help with the dinner shift. He thought y'all could use the help and I could use the money." She smiles and looks around at the full dining room.
"Wow. That's a shocker."
"I know. Oh! Erick said Bobby agreed to stay at your place. I'll pick them up from work when I get off and we'll be over after that."
A weight lifts from my shoulders hearing her words. After telling Dustin and Phil off, I worried I'd get paid a visit tonight and have no one there with me. I reacted in anger without thinking. Hell yes it felt good, and no I will not let him intimidate me anymore, but that doesn't mean I'm not worried about what will come from that encounter.
"That's a huge relief." I lean toward her and whisper, "Dustin and Phil were here today. They weren't here to eat, either."
"You okay? He didn't try anything, did he?" she asks, concerned.
"I'm fine. I'm pissed off, but I'm fine. I'll tell you guys about it tonight."
She nods her head then goes to put her stuff up and clock in.
I planned to tell Cash about the drug deal, but now that Bobby is staying, there is no need to. He won't be able to do anything while he's out of town. Telling him will only upset him and I don't want my muddled life to get in the way of his job. After all, that's the whole reason he's here.
Phil
After the little incident this afternoon, I drove a paranoid Dustin back to his house and left him there even though we had a lot to get done. I made my way out to our makeshift lab in the middle of bum fuck Egypt. Finding this place was a nice surprise. It's a little bunker beneath ground on an old oil mining property my grandfather owns. The almost hour drive to it is boring as fuck, but the location is perfect. Being private property, and way the hell out there, no one ever drives these roads. Well, if they can even be called roads. More like dirt paths now. It's been a good twenty years since these oil drills were active.
When I get to the point I can no longer drive, I park the car in the turnaround spot. Getting out, I walk into a wooded area where Dustin and I hid some ATV's under a tarp. I uncover one and climb on. The rumble of the engine when I switch it on puts a smile on face. The day may have started as shit, but I'll fix it soon enough.
The short trek to the underground entrance only takes a few minutes. I pull the keys from my pocket and unlock the rusted door once white. Remnants of the paint flake off as I open the door. Walking down the steep steps, I push aside the curtain to step foot inside the concrete room. The mix of chemicals in the air have my nose burning instantly. I have no idea what this was once used for, but I'm glad it's here. The set-up fits perfectly with extra space to store stuff and sleep here if needed. One side of the room is set up with our own personal chemistry set, the other side set up as a makeshift bedroom. The thick sheets hanging between help us get shut eye when we're working into the night.
It took some time to get this place cleaned up enough to work in. Bugs and rodents had claimed it for a long time, but somehow we managed to do it and get the inside sealed so moisture couldn't leak through anymore. The ventilation system is shit down here. Maybe it would work better if we weren't running off a generator. Snap is selling like nothing I've ever seen. Pretty soon we can get the hell out of this shit hole and upgrade.
Punching in the numbers, I open the door to my safe under my cot. My handgun, bullets, stacks of money, and a black toiletry bag sit inside. The gun stares at me for a moment making me itch to pick it up and feel the cool weight of it in my hand. It won't be long before carrying it on the daily will be a necessity, but not today. No, today all I need is my bare hands. A smile spreads across my face as I grab the bag from the safe and shut the door.
***
"I need your help again," I say into the phone as I watch Hazel walk through the parking lot of Maggie's toward her car. She's looking around and over her shoulder as if she expects someone to jump her out in the open.
"That was a one-time deal, man. I don't know what else I can do for you," the annoyed man says down the phone line.
"I need it again." The snarl that leaves me has me even pausing. Desperate, I plead with him. "I'll pay you double what I did last time."
"It isn't possible. What you want is on lock down now. We don't have access to it and each of us are responsible for just our part. Sorry, man."
He doesn't sound fucking sorry. I can make him sound sorry when I cut his fucking fingers off one by one. My hand grips the phone to the point of crushing it. Hazel climbs into her car quickly and starts the engine. I pop my car in drive and wait for her to pull out.
"I gotta go," the man says.
"Wait," I almost shout at him. "Can you get me inside? I'll do it myself, just get me inside." I don't know where this thought came from, but it's the best idea I've come up with yet.
"I don't know." The man sighs then it's quiet while he thinks about it.
Her car pulls out of the lot and I wait until a couple of cars pass me to follow behind her.
"I'll pay you ten g's if you can get me inside. That's it. Just get me through the fucking door."
When I don't think I'll get a response, he finally says, "Come up with a plan. We'll meet at the same spot we met last time to discuss it. If I think it'll work, I'll find a way."
Money always works. For the right price, you can buy anyone.
"I'll call you soon."
I hang up the phone and follow Hazel to her house. Cash's truck still sits in the same spot he left it yesterday. I drove by several times o
ver the last twenty-four hours, and the sight of it every time I passed pissed me off more and more. Dustin doesn't know much about him, but he told me what he did know. I smacked that bitch in the back of his head for letting some out of towner in his house while we're working on this shit. We don't know who he is or if he'll say anything to anyone. That's all I need is Dustin getting busted for dealing right now. Fucking idiot.
Hazel parks and goes inside her house closing the door behind her. My gut twists as I pray that asshole leaves tonight. Hazel and I need to have a little talk after her outburst today. I expected her to calm down and leave it be when I made myself known. Threatening me only infuriated me more. She should be glad I didn't storm over there and whoop her fucking ass in broad daylight. I thought about it, except doing it in private brings me far more enjoyment. I can take my time.
I'm watching the sun start its decent and thinking about all the lovely things I could do to Hazel when her door opens. It's only been ten minutes since she entered. Cash and Hazel step out on the porch, her arms crossed over her chest and her head hanging. Something's not right in paradise. By Cash's body language he's ready to run and Hazel looks upset. A moment passes and Cash lifts her chin. Hazel nods in response to something he says then he kisses her quickly. He gestures to her house and she walks inside and closes the door.
My body heats with excitement as I watch him climb into his truck. I grab a syringe out my bag and slip it into my boot as I wait. Cash takes off down the street and when I see him turn the corner I make my move.
I tap the door with my knuckles in an upbeat tone and hear her laugh.
"Did you forget something," she says as she unlocks the door and swings it open.
The smile on her face disappears when her eyes meet mine in surprise. She looks over my shoulder in search of Cash who is long gone. Lunging forward, I put my hand over her mouth to stop the scream I know is coming and wrap my other arm around her. Her struggles make it easier to push her into the house. I shut the door with my foot as a smile crosses my face. This was far easier than I thought it would be.
She pries an arm loose and attempts to punch me, but I jump back and laugh. Her chest heaves as her eyes dart around. She's not going anywhere. It's time to speak my piece and she's going to listen.
"You didn't really think you were going to get away with threatening me, did you?" I ask as I back her into the kitchen.
I smirk as her mouth opens and closes rapidly trying to come up with something to say. I'd be speechless, too, if I was met by my wrath. One never knows what they will receive from me. Hell, I don't even know for sure what I will do until that second. It's nicer not to have a plan. Spontaneity has its perks. It's the hindsight that's a bitch. The wishing that you had done something instead. Most well laid plans are made in hindsight.
Hazel squeaks as her back hits the counter, but she doesn't look away from me as I step toe-to-toe with her. Placing my hands on either side of her, I lean down to get eye level and feel her shaking. Her fear is an aphrodisiac that amps me up more. At first, it made me angry because I wanted her. I still want her. But now I enjoy it. Fear is a powerful thing to wield, and I'm going to control hers. I'm going to use it to win. I love winning. Let the games begin.
I rub my face against hers reveling in the tremors and light sobs. It reminds me of the night I took from her what I wanted. What was rightfully mine to take. She had been strutting around in front of me for so long with those tight jeans and her tits falling out in my face. My dick grows hard begging to let him out and play with me. She gasps as I press myself against her, feeling my painfully hard dick against her stomach. I slide my hand behind her and grab a knife from the block on the counter. She stiffens and sucks in a breath as the sound of the blade sliding from its holder echoes through the quiet room. It's a symphony to my heart, which picks up its pace with every breath she takes.
I pull my arm back and hold the knife next to her face. Her wide eyes roll to the side until they lock on my hand.
"So pretty," I whisper as I stare at the light reflecting off the blade.
Being with Hazel enabled me to act on the urges pulsing through my body. I fought them for years, always being the dutiful son and doing what was expected of me. Expectations. I hate them. They cause us to deny what we want and how we truly want to live, trapping us in a meaningless existence. The moment you cut the ties that hold you to them, is a freedom like nothing I have ever experienced before. Drugs don't even compare to the high you get from truly being free.
I began taking Snap as a way to let loose a little bit, but when I discovered just how free I could be, the alternate life I could live, I couldn't stop. I wasn't addicted to Snap, because you can't get addicted to it. I was addicted to the possibilities. The thrill of it all set me free. When my dealer approached me about sponsoring his journey into this new drug, I was more than happy to comply and wanted to be part of it. He paid me back handsomely for the money I lent him, but cut me out of the deal completely. In anger, I decided I'd work beneath him for a period of time, learn the ropes, and get my retaliation. But as time passed, I realized the mistake those who created Snap made and started about correcting it.
A while back, when I was collecting my parcel from Gavin, I overheard him saying that he was getting more delivered that day. I waited and watched, following them for a long four hours further south until they exited for Hattiesburg and pulled into an industrial area. They parked at a chemical company named RCC. I went home and did my research. A Gerald Rians owns it and they manufacture industrial strength cleansers. After several visits, I decided to approach one of the men I had followed and talk to him about getting in on the action. Fuck Gavin for cutting me out. But when the night shift left that night, the man never appeared. His car sat there along with several others, but no one else came out. About an hour later, more cars started pulling in and parking. I thought it odd because on their website under employment opportunities, they only have two shifts. And the guy I wanted was always here at night. People entered the dark building and I wondered if something happened and they were working overtime, but I hadn't seen any of these people come and go during the days or evenings I'd previously watched. The lights never came back on, yet twenty workers walked through the door. What were they doing and where were they doing it?
Several hours passed before the man I needed walked tiredly to his car. I approached him and told him I was a friend of Gavin's. He was furious that I was there and asked if I was trying to get him killed. I didn't understand why he would get killed for me visiting him at work. Then it clicked. Third shift workers where there isn't a third shift. Lights not on and complete quiet when the factory should be up and processing. A pissed off drug dealer afraid he's going to be offed. I was as giddy as a teenage girl. I found where they were making Snap.
I backed off him for a minute, but came up with a plan and approached him once again. He followed me to a local all-night diner after I told him I had an offer he couldn't refuse. I laid it out for him over coffee and he agreed to it. He'd get me the formula, I'd give him five grand and five percent of sales once we got it off the ground and started selling. When things eventually go to shit where he is, he'd pack up and come work for me making more money than he could imagine.
On the night he delivered, he walked by my car on his way toward the building and slid a paper through my window without missing a step. I opened it and it was fucking Greek to me, and the last part of the diagram was smeared to boot. I guess I should have been more specific. I wanted it in Betty Crocker terms.
I jumped out of my car and chased after him, but he was already walking through the door. By the time I got to it, it had clicked shut and I couldn't get in no matter how hard I tried. It took me a moment before I realized what I was doing. I didn't notice the security camera recording my every move until after. Luckily it was dark and I was wearing a ball cap. I hauled ass back to my car and got the fuck out of there.
The next week was spent searc
hing online for what the abbreviations and symbols meant. At first I thought it was coded and wanted to break that fucker for ripping me off. But after doing some research, I was able to figure out what the codes meant. All except the last one.
It didn't take much to get Dustin in on the action. He needed money to care for his grandmother. I was able to gather all the ingredients and we tried our hand it, but something was off. Probably the last ingredient I couldn't decipher. I wanted to make it more potent anyway, so we started dabbling with other ingredients found in other street drugs, testing it out ourselves and on Dustin's unsuspecting buyers. Snap was stronger and more addictive than ever. All I could see were money signs. That was probably my downfall.
After being fucked over by Gavin, I couldn't trust Dustin. I never told him all of the ingredients and how much to use. The few times we made it, he always came in at the end only knowing what to use in the last steps. The formula stayed on my person at all times. I didn't want him getting any ideas like I had.
I look at Hazel, trembling in my embrace, and remember the last night I took her out. I got Dustin started on his part and went to pick her up. I took her out, slipped my version of Snap into her glass, and got her to drink it. I knew she would be fucked up. We tested that batch extensively. Dustin had been drinking when he dosed up and said he felt like he was on ecstasy. He wasn't lying. When I tried it, I would've given anything to be buried balls deep inside of Hazel. Instead, I got balls deep inside my fucking hand. But I rectified it that night.
I wanted her to feel as good as I did. She responded gloriously, arching into every touch, nip, and suck. I got carried away and let myself go with her, giving her everything she needed until it became too much and her moans of pleasure turned into screams of pain. The first time I heard her scream, I jerked back to see I had bit her so hard I drew blood. The indents of my teeth on her milky white tit slowly turned red. I was fascinated by it. I slid my finger over it and her blood smeared with the movement, making her skin seem paler. It resembled the lipstick smeared on Hazel's face from kissing me. It was more intoxicating than the liquor and Snap I consumed.