Labeled Love

by Danielle Rocco

  “I’m ready,” Shay says, and all I can think about is how ready I am to already have this girl as mine. Mr. Stark’s words are loud and clear. “It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish.” I plan to finish with his daughter by my side, with love all around us, just like he has with his wife. I can relate to him. Strange, as different as we are, one thing remains the same: he obviously did everything to have the life he wanted, and I plan on doing the same.

  We get into Shay’s car, and I know she’s going to ask to take me home, but I won’t let her. We had such a long day, and I can tell she’s tired. She hasn’t asked me about her gift, but that’s because she isn’t used to me giving her anything. Not that I haven’t wanted to over the years, it’s just I’ve never had money to buy her things. I’ve always made her cards or wrote her little love notes. I smile, thinking about her reaction when I text her in a little while.

  “So, where do I turn?”

  “What do you mean where do you turn?”

  “I’m taking you home,” she says. I lean back in my seat and look over to her. She doesn’t look at me, but keeps her eyes on the road.

  “No, you’re not taking me home. Go to the center, Shay.”

  “No, I’m taking you home.”

  “Shay, go to the center, please.”

  “It’s late, Jace.”

  “I’m a big boy.”

  She lets out a strangled breath, as the light in front of us turns red. Turning to me, she gives me sad eyes. “Please, let me take you home.”

  I hate to see her look at me like that, but it’s not an option. Leaning in, I kiss her lips. “No.” The light turns green, and she drives to the center. I get out of the car and walk around to the driver’s side, as she stares ahead with disappointment. When I knock on her window, she hits the button, but doesn’t make eye contact with me. “Look at me, baby.”

  “I want to know where my boyfriend lives. I don’t want him to have to walk home. I thought when I got my own car things would be different.”

  Trying to make light of the situation, I say, “You want a lot of things.”

  She turns to me with tears spilling from her beautiful eyes. “I only want you.”

  I reach my hand inside the car, wiping the tears off her face. “You have me. Now, kiss me good-bye and go home and get in that nice bed of yours, birthday girl.” She opens her car door, so I move. When she gets out, she wraps her arms around me.

  “Thank you for the best birthday ever. I had the best time at the beach today, and I loved sharing birthday cake with you.”

  My heart soars at just how simple Shay is. She might have everything, but she wants very little. “What did you wish for, pretty girl?”

  “I can’t tell you, or it won’t come true.”

  I hold her so tight I’m probably hurting her, but God, I don’t want to let her go. “Do you love me, baby?”

  “More than anything,” she whispers, putting just enough distance between us for me to look into her pleading eyes. I know she wants to put me back into her car and drive me home, but that’s the one part of me that I can’t give her. It’s the only part that I can’t let her see.

  “Go home, baby. Your birthday isn’t quite over yet.”

  “What do you mean?” she says, furrowing her eyebrows.

  “I’m just saying… You still have time to eat that cake you were devouring.”

  “What? Are you saying I was eating too much cake?”

  “No, I liked watching you with your mouth full.”

  She smacks my arm as she says, “You’re so bad.”

  “Go on. Time for princesses to go to bed,” I say, putting her loose curls behind her ears. She reaches up, presses her lips to mine, and then gets into her car. She hesitates to leave.

  “Go home, baby. Get your beauty rest.”

  I watch her until I can’t see her anymore, and then I run like hell to get home, so I can text her before she falls asleep.

  WHEN I GET home, it’s nothing surprising. Grace is drunk, and there is another deadbeat in the house. Beer cans litter the floor, and music is playing too loud. You would think I’m the parent, and she is the delinquent teen. She’s staggering down the hall toward the bathroom when I make my way to my bedroom. I stop when I see the guy head toward her bedroom.

  “Hey, where are you going?” I ask him.

  Grace walks out of the bathroom at the same time. “Go to bed, Jace.”

  I turn my gaze to her. “Are we going to do this again?”

  “Do what?” she slurs.

  “Do I have to ask your friend to leave?”

  She rolls her eyes and walks to her bedroom. I wait by the bathroom door until she comes out, holding the guy’s hand. She looks up at me. “We’re going out.”

  Nothing has changed. Not even a near-death experience has shaken her into sobriety. I just keep telling myself, “It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish.”

  I’m sure the hell not finishing in a place like this.

  AS I PULL away from the center, Jace doesn’t move. Arms crossed, watching me drive away, he’s always been like that. I watch in my rearview mirror until he’s out sight. I worry, with a deep-rooted fear that one day he won’t show up at the community center, and I will be left in wonder. What if something happened to him? I would never know. I would never be able to find him. That thought scares me to the point of wanting to go against his wishes and follow him home, but I won’t. I would never betray his trust. He gave me his whole heart when he was thirteen, and I just have to trust he will always be here. Still, I just can’t shake the unsettled feeling I get whenever we’re apart. I want to know where my boy is. I always want to know where he is, but he won’t tell me.

  I know he’s a “big boy” and can take care of himself. All anyone has to do is look at his toned body to know that, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about him.

  I just wish he would let me in. It’s bad enough that I can’t reach him by phone, but at least if I knew where he lived I could have that peace of mind. Nobody’s life is perfect. Not even the ones you think are. From the outside, one might look at my life and think I have it all, but what is “having it all”? A big house, money, a nice car? They are nothing but material things that we can’t take with us when we’re gone. One thing that can’t be bought, but can only be felt is the love you have for someone. That’s the one thing that everyone can experience on the same level, no matter where they come from. My love for Jace is immeasurable. A perfect life to me has Jace James in it. Nothing else will ever matter.

  He’s my perfect.

  I know that sounds young and naïve and probably a little cliché, but it’s the absolute truth. I love him whole-heartedly. I park my car and take in the lingering scent of my boy one last time before I get out.

  Walking into our house, I can still see the candles glowing on the back terrace, causing me to miss Jace already. I hear the movement in the kitchen, but make my way onto the terrace to blow out all the candles. We couldn’t have asked for a better day in the sun. The city lights below are aglow, and the light breeze coming off the hillside makes me shiver. I run my hands over my arms to lesson the chill. I walk over to the couch Jace was just sitting on an hour ago and curl up. Closing my eyes, I let my mind drift to birthday wishes and strong arms wrapped around me. I can still hear his sexy voice singing softly into my ear as he rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb.

  Looking up into the starlit sky, I think about the wish I made, hoping it comes true. I can’t wait until the day we don’t have to part ways. That’s all I want. I want to have a lifetime with my boy. I reach over and blow the candles out on the table, and as I walk back into the house, I blow out the rest. My parents are washing dishes while talking quietly to each other when I join them in the kitchen. Mom turns her attention to me. “Did you have a good birthday?”

  I swipe my finger through the dark chocolate birthday cake, licking off all the decadent goodness. “The best birthday ever,�
� I tell her, raising my shoulders with a sigh.

  “Does Jace have something to do with that?” Dad says, sliding his finger through the top of the cake. Mom raises her eyebrow at him.

  “Yup,” I say as another big dollop of icing goes straight into my mouth.

  Mom puts the dishtowel down and looks at me. “I’m so glad you two have remained close for so long. I know it’s not easy when you don’t get to see him a lot. It’s just the cutest thing how smitten he is with you. You know, Shay, he’s been like that since the day he met you.”

  “You didn’t even see him that first day.”

  “I checked on you when you were playing football and saw a certain dark-haired boy that first day. And, I saw him when we got in the car to leave hanging on the fence watching us.” She smirks, and Dad does a little rise of his eyebrows.

  “I think it’s perfect you don’t get to see him a lot,” Dad chimes in.

  “Dad!”

  “Trust me, it is, Shay. It makes the heart grow fonder,” he says genuinely. “I can tell Jace adores you.” I smile because that’s a lot coming from my dad. “But…”

  Of course, there’s a “but”.

  “But… Like everything that’s right about Jace, there are some things that concern me.”

  “If it’s about where he comes from—”

  “No, that’s not my concern, Shay,” he interrupts me. “I work with plenty of artists that have come from hard lives. It’s not about where you come from. It’s about where you want to go. What does Jace want to do, besides be with you?”

  “Dad, he’s seventeen.”

  “I knew at seventeen that I wanted to make music.”

  “Not everyone is as driven as you, Dad,” I say, matter-of-factly. He looks at me.

  “Anyone that wants to be with my daughter needs direction.”

  “Don’t worry, Dad. He’s going to figure it out.” I pause. “You know… Jace is really good on the guitar, and I’m a great teacher. Who knows? Maybe he just hasn’t discovered his direction yet.”

  “I’m impressed. I had no idea he was musically inclined,” he says in wonder.

  “I don’t think he thinks he is, but I know music. And, my boy can play.” He chuckles. Smiling, I kiss them both on the cheek and head upstairs.

  While taking a shower, I let the salty ocean water wash away. Wow, I really got some sun today. I usually take a long shower, but I’m feeling the burn. I quickly wash my hair and get out. I’m beat. It’s been a while since I’ve surfed.

  I’ve missed it. We are definitely going to have to start surfing together. Jace loved it, and we had fun.

  I walk to my dresser and grab some booty shorts and a loose tank and plop down on my bed with a huge smile on my face. I’m blissfully content. After I plug in my cell phone to charge, I lie back, letting all my comfy pillows consume me. My phone beeps with a text, but I’m so tired I don’t want to sit up to check it. I’m sure it’s just Jules wanting to gossip about our beach day. When I start to close my eyes, it beeps again. I grab it with a huff. I have two messages from an unknown number.

  Weird.

  I open the first text.

  Unknown: Happy Birthday Baby.

  Then I open the other text.

  Unknown: Baby?

  Me: Who is this?

  Unknown: Do you love me baby?

  Oh my God! It can’t be.

  Me: Jace?

  Unknown: Is my princess in bed?

  I stare at the messages in shock. He doesn’t have a phone. How is he texting me? I can’t stand it; I have to hear his voice. Needing to know if someone is playing a cruel trick on me, I go to the number and hit Send. Someone picks up on the first ring.

  “Hello,” I say, confused and a bit nervous.

  “Hey, baby,” he answers. All concern goes out the window. It’s Jace. Oh. My. God. His voice is so sexy on the phone. I pause in shock. Taking in a long breath, I close my eyes and wonder if just maybe my birthday wish was granted. At least the part that allows me to have access to him when we are apart. I bite down on my bottom lip that I can feel begin to tremble.

  I’m so emotional hearing his voice for the very first time like this. I’ve known this boy for years, and I’ve never spoken to him on a phone. I fall silent and begin to cry. Trying to muffle my emotions, I suck in a breath.

  “Baby, are you there?”

  In a low whisper, I say, “I’m here.”

  “What’s wrong? I thought you’d be jumping up and down excited I got a phone.”

  I try to suck it up, but I can’t help it. I’m a bumbling mess. I love this boy so much. The closeness I feel to him right now is overwhelming me. All these years I just wished I could talk to him. I longed to tell him about my day, tell him I love him and miss him, but I couldn’t. Here he is, and I’m taken by the simplicity of a simple phone call.

  “Shay, are you crying?”

  “I’m sorry… I’m just so happy to hear your voice.”

  He chuckles lightly. “I wanted to surprise you.” His words sound so sweet coming through my phone.

  Bliss. Bliss. Bliss.

  “Surprise, birthday girl. Are you happy?”

  I wipe the tears streaming down my face. “I’m the happiest girl in the entire world,” I tell him with a full heart.

  “Good,” he says, “all I ever want to do is make you happy.”

  “Oh, Jace, you having a phone so we can always be connected is the best gift you could ever give me.” I pause, looking up at my bedroom wall full of pictures of us I’ve taken over the years while wiping away more tears of happiness.

  “You sound tired. Time for my princess to go to bed.”

  “I don’t want to get off the phone,” I say because I don’t want to lose this connection that we finally have.

  “I’ll call you first thing in the morning.”

  “Okay.” I pout.

  “Okay.” He laughs. “Do you love me, baby?”

  “More than anything.”

  “That’s all I need to hear. Sweet dreams, pretty girl. I’m hanging up so you can get some sleep.”

  “Goodnight,” I say, hearing him sigh as he tells me he loves me one more time before the line goes dead.

  My. Boy. Got. A. Freakin.’ Phone.

  Best. Birthday. Ever!

  I fall back on my pillow with the biggest smile and my cell phone still in my hand. I don’t want to let it go. As I close my eyes, it beeps again. Swiping across the screen quickly to read what he sent, I laugh when I see tons of heart eyes and kissing faces.

  After I add his number to my contacts, I text him back.

  Me: That was so swoony baby.

  THE NEXT MORNING a sexy, sleepy voice wakes me up. “Good morning, pretty girl.”

  “Good morning,” I say, holding back a ridiculous grin.

  “Have a great day today. I’ll be thinking of you all day long. Text me some of the pictures of us that you have on your phone.”

  “Yay! I will right now.”

  He chuckles and then hangs up. As I scroll through my pictures, my phone beeps.

  My Boy: Did you send them?

  I giggle, thinking how Jace has no idea how this whole cell phone world works.

  Me: Hang on baby. Be patient. ;)

  My Boy: Don’t get that sassy tone with me. I’m going to slap that…

  I laugh out loud.

  Me: You can’t tell what my tone is while texting.

  My Boy: I can tell baby. I don’t need to hear your voice to know you’re being

  sassy. ;) Got to go. I’m going to work out with Landon so my body stays

  just the way you like it. I love you baby ;)

  I TOLD SHAY I was going to work out with Landon, but that wasn’t quite the truth. I probably will later, but right now, I’m going to the garage to work on my bike. That’s just one more surprise I have for her.

  Things were easy for me before I had a cell phone. Once we parted ways, I didn’t talk to Shay until the following w
eek, but now, my girl is going to be calling me off the hook and probably asking me twenty questions. The biggest smile spreads across my face and warms every part of my body knowing I’m going to hear that voice whenever I want.

  Now that I’ve surprised her with my phone, I want to be full of surprises for her. Her surprised voice has become one of my favorite sounds.

  I GET UP and make my way into the darkened kitchen. I don’t know why, but I feel like opening the musty curtain and letting whatever morning sunlight in to brighten this cold place. A dusty film cakes the window. Maybe I’ll clean it today.

  Grace isn’t home, and it doesn’t look like she came home last night. Reaching up, I scratch my shoulder. Damn, looks like I got sunburned. Thoughts of spending the day at the beach with Shay come to my mind. It was the best day I’ve ever had. Just being with her like that gave me a new sense of direction. I want to spend early mornings walking hand in hand on the cold sand and nights wrapped up in a blanket watching the sunset with my girl. I want it all with her. I can even picture little dark-haired babies making sand castles. No matter what obstacles I have to go through, I’m going to have that with her. I’m going to make that girl mine. I just need to graduate from high school and figure my shit out.

  Right now, I need to find something to eat, so I don’t kill over from hunger. Looks like I’m going to have to go to the store to get a few things. I’m trying to save what little money I get from Henry. Between having to pay for my cell phone and any bike parts I need, I want to make sure I’m saving, but we need food. Plus, who knows what Grace does with her money and all the food stamps?

  After grabbing some cereal, I scarf it down while checking my phone to see what pictures Shay sent me. There’s a ton. Scrolling through each one, I recall every moment. She sent one from yesterday in her little bikini with me standing behind her with my arms wrapped around her perfect sun-kissed waist. I’m nuzzled with my lips pressed against her long neck. God, she is so beautiful. Another picture is one her mom took of her blowing out her birthday candles. As I stare at it, I think about how much we’ve grown over the years. No matter how long it’s been, I still feel that endless pull to her. My heart beats for her.