“I’m… just so used to it being dark when we are together. I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“How many times have we made love?”
“Not many,” I tell him in a whisper.
“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed of having you like this? Seeing your beautiful body wrapped around me in the daylight? I’ve been dreaming of having my girl wrapped up in bed sheets.” He tilts his head, making his hair fall into his eyes. He pushes it back. His eyes are tender as they look into mine. “In a bed, baby.” I bite down on my bottom lip when my dress hits the floor. He reaches up; his strong hand finds my cheek. His touch is comforting. “You have no idea what this means to me. How much I truly love every single inch of you. I can’t get enough of you, Shay. This right now… I will always want you like this. Naked, in a bed, in the middle of the day. I just want you.”
He takes his finger, releasing my lip that I’ve been biting. “Come here, pretty girl.” I walk into his arms in nothing but my matching pale pink strapless bra and undies. He undoes the clasp of my bra, letting it drop to the floor. I lower my eyes. He takes his thumb and lifts my chin to meet his eyes. “You will always be the prettiest girl.” Dropping to his knees, he kisses my bare stomach, causing a quivered breath to escape me. Lowering my panties, he glides his hands down my thighs. I run my fingers through his hair as he kisses me where he has never kissed me before, taking in a breath when his lips brush against me. “You are so perfect,” he whispers, standing quickly, lifting me and then laying me at the end of the bed. He scoots me up, making room and lies between my legs. “When I said I need to be inside you, I meant it. You are my home. When I’m with you, I’m home, and when I’m inside you, it’s like no other feeling. I don’t want to be without it anymore. I need it every day, and I don’t mean the sex part. I mean, I need you every day. I don’t want to be without this. I want to go to bed every night being inside you, and I want to wake up every morning sleepy-eyed holding you.”
I run my hands up and down his muscled back as he inserts one finger inside me. “I want that, too, Jace,” I say breathlessly as he takes his finger out of me, and with one thrust, he’s inside me. Placing one hand underneath me, he pulls me into him while cradling my head with the other.
“I don’t want to be without you anymore. I can’t. I promise you…” He moans. “God, you feel so good, baby. You’re so warm. You make every part of me warm. You always have.”
Meeting his thrusts, I reach down, holding on to his ass, feeling him. “I love you, Jace.”
“Shay, you have no idea how much I love you.”
Something feels off. Jace is holding me to him as if I’m going to leave him. His normally strong hands are tighter against my skin, and he’s thrusting deeper than he ever has before. My heart is full, and my body feels cherished with each touch. “I need you, baby,” he says with a pained voice.
“You have me,” I whisper against his shoulder.
“Let it go, Jace. Let everything go, baby.” Slowing down his thrusts, he moves his face from my neck and looks into my eyes. I’ve never felt so at one with him before. Our bodies are moving together perfectly, just like our first time, so perfect.
“I can’t hold it anymore.” His voice holds so much emotion.
“Don’t hold it.”
He lowers his face to mine so our mouths can connect. When they do, he groans out my name against our lips. I’m sure he wants to collapse, but he doesn’t. He continues pulling me into him until I tighten around him. Slow and steady, we ride it out.
“We make the best music together,” he says, repeating what he said that night at the beach. He pulls me on top of him.
“The best,” I tell him, closing my eyes.
He wraps the blanket over me and rubs my back. Making me laugh, he says, “Be ready for some repeat of that sexy song.”
I look up with my hands under my chin. “You do know I love singing, right?”
He chuckles. “Yeah, baby, I know.”
“Then you know I can sing that tune all night long,” I tease. His eyes go wide.
“All night, huh? You might be sorry you said that, pretty girl.”
“I’m never sorry when it comes to you.”
“Come here, baby.” I scoot up and give him a quick kiss.
“I need to use the bathroom.” He nods with a satisfied smirk. I get up with a sway of my hips and go clean up. I hear him chuckle. When I walk back into the bedroom, he’s staring at the ceiling, heavy in thought. With the sheet pulled up to his waist, he looks like a dream. As I climb back into the bed, he positions my back to his front. “My boy knows how to spoon?”
He kisses my shoulder. “Is this spooning?”
“Yup.”
Pressing against me, he tickles my skin when he says, “Then I love spooning.” With his arm draped over me, I hold his hand, playing with his fingers.
“Tell me about your nightmare.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Jace, I could feel your fear with the way you held on to me. Tell me.”
He sucks in a breath, and when he exhales, his warm breath surrounds me. He kisses my shoulder, and I snuggle back into him. “You feel so good, Shay. There will never be anything better than this.”
I kiss his arm. “Tell me, please.”
“There’s nothing to really tell. It was one of those nightmares that seemed and felt real. All I know is when I woke up, I felt empty. I just remember hearing you scream, and people were trying to take you away from me.”
“What people?”
“I don’t know, baby. I just woke up feeling really alone.”
I turn in his arms, so I’m facing him. “You’re never going to be alone. We are always going to be together.”
Closing his eyes, he kisses my forehead. When he opens his eyes, he says, “Do you know how hard it is for me to want to take care of you and not have the means to do it? I picture you all the time with your ratty Converse on and pink tank top. The day I met you is ingrained in my mind. I knew that very moment I wanted you to be mine for the rest of my life. You would be the only girl for me, and here we are all these years later, and I still can’t take care of you. I’m not a thirteen-year-old kid anymore. I’m an adult, and I want my girl—”
“You have your girl,” I quickly tell him, cutting him off. He smiles, rubbing his feet against mine.
“I know I have my girl, but I want this every day, and I know I can’t have it yet. You have so much more you need to do.”
“Jace, everything you think I need to do… I want to do it with you. If you’re talking about school—”
“Yes, Shay,” he interrupts me. “You have to go to college. I can’t hold you back from that. I’m going to do whatever I can to be where you are.”
“You won’t need to.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, confused.
“You talk about us making music together all the time…” I stop talking and roll my eyes while he gives me that sexy sly smile, letting me know what kind of music he’s thinking about. “I’m being serious, Jace.”
Putting a loose curl behind my ear, he says, “I know you are, baby, but I can’t help where my head goes. The sounds that come out of your voice when we make ‘musical’ love are pretty amazing.”
“Okay, lover boy, get your mind off all my sexiness so I can finish being serious for a moment.”
He raises his eyebrows up and down and leans into me, saying, “As long as I get to make music with you after you plead your case to me… I kinda want to be inside you right now.”
I kiss his lips and continue. “Baby, I don’t want to go away for college. Why would I go away for four years to get a degree in music when I can start making music now? I want to make real music with you.” He gently takes my face in his hands. “You have the rest of our lives to take care of me. Let me help us now.”
“Shay.”
“Please, don’t be proud about this. We want to be togeth
er. Isn’t that what life is all about? Finding your passion? Finding what makes you happy and never letting it go? We’ve always made each other happy. I don’t want to wait. I want to start now. We have no idea what life has in store for us. I don’t want to waste time. Not when the only thing I’m truly passionate about is right here. You and me… That’s my passion, baby. I want to take care of your heart for the rest of my life, and waiting to achieve a degree to take care of my boy’s love doesn’t work for me.”
“I’m so in love with you, Shay.” He pulls me close.
“Don’t deny me this. Let’s start our lives now and make music together. Maybe we can live here,” I say.
“Baby, your dad is not going to let us live here together right now.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because you’re too young,” he says adorably.
“You might be surprised. My dad wants me to pursue my dreams and be happy. If we are making music, he’s going to be happy. Trust me, I have lots of talks with my father.”
He squints his eyes. “Did you have an ulterior motive when you bought me the guitar for my birthday?”
I can’t help the mischievous grin that makes its way to my face. “I bought you a guitar because I believe in you. Because the guitar is a part of us… It always has been, and I wanted you to have one,” I say as Jace furrows his eyebrows. “Okay, yes, I did have a light bulb moment during one of my sessions with Adam, too. And, Jace, I just knew that we were meant to do this.”
His eyes soften, and the low tone of his voice tells me he’s sincere when he says, “We’re going to do this, huh? You really ready for all this?” He raises his head.
“Are you?” I ask him.
“Baby, I was ready the day I met you. You wrapped up in my arms every day is the only thing I’ve ever wanted. Now, the music part… Well, as long as I’m making music with you, I’m ready.” He kisses my nose as I wiggle out of his hold.
“Let’s walk to the coffee house on the corner. I need to fuel you up.”
“I don’t need coffee for energy, baby.” He winks.
I roll my eyes jokingly. “Come on, we’re practicing playing house. How fun is it going to be?” Jumping out of the bed, I throw my pale pink sundress back on as Jace lies there with his hands behind his head, smiling at me. He’s so sexy. Then he catches me off guard, stopping me in my tracks. I lose my breath as I stand before him, smiling from ear to ear.
“Marry me, baby.” I look at him, wide-eyed. “I don’t want to live with each other for years playing house. I want you to finally be mine. I want you to be my wife. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I would have married you when I was a kid if it would have been acceptable.” He laughs, bringing a shy smile to my flushed face. Sitting up, he reaches for me. I take his hands, straddling him, letting my sundress surround us. I can feel him beneath me as I grind against him. Smiling, he whispers against my bare shoulder, “Marry me, baby. We want to start our lives together. Start it as my wife.” He pushes up into me and groans. Holding me against him, he keeps whispering, “Marry me, baby.” I pull my body flush to his and lower myself on him. “Make my dreams come true. Be my wife.”
With our faces inches apart, my dark blue eyes look into his pale blues. I’m looking into the eyes of my soul mate. The only boy I’ve ever loved and ever will. He has every piece of my love. Every bit of my body has only ever belonged to him and his to mine. I take in the biggest, clearest breath I think I’ve ever taken and answer the question I’ve dreamed about Jace asking me since I was a young girl.
“Yes, baby, I will marry you.” He pulls me tightly around him. Warm skin, loving words, and promises of forever surround us. The softness of the sheets and the soft glow of the night sky making its way into the room are all put to memory. Slowly I start to come undone in his arms. Only a moment passes before Jace shudders against me. Breathlessly, I tell him, “I can’t wait to be your wife. ” He flips me over on my back, kissing me hard.
“I’m going to make you so happy, baby.” Closing his eyes, he stills on top of me. When he opens them, he softens his voice. “I promise you, I will be the best husband.”
I reach up and kiss his lips. “Well, then start by getting your woman some coffee.”
He laughs. “Okay, baby.”
When we walk into the café, we see someone drinking hot chocolate. We both order a small cup because it looks so good. As we head back to the condo, hand in hand, the sky is full of stars. I walk into the bathroom to clean up, and when I come out, Jace is stretched out on the bed. “Someone’s getting cozy,” I tease.
“Baby, you have no idea how good this bed feels.” I try to hide my sadness. I want to ask, but I don’t. He wouldn’t tell me anyway. “I know what you’re thinking,” he says.
Darn it, I can’t hide it. It’s written on my face.
“Come here, Shay.” I walk over. He lifts the covers to let me slide in and pulls me into him. “These sheets are just really soft, baby. I’m not used to sheets this soft.”
I look up into his eyes. “We’re going to have the softest sheets I can find.”
“Oh, yeah,” he says, biting my shoulder.
“Yeah, baby, we are.”
“I can’t wait to fall asleep with you in my arms like this every night,” he says, holding me tight.
“We’re going to make it happen. It’s supposed to happen. We are meant to always be like this, Jace.” His voice gets quiet. Kissing my temple, he says, “Yeah, it was always supposed to be like this. Go to sleep, pretty girl.” A few minutes pass. Jace is quiet, but my wheels are happily spinning.
“Jace.”
“Uh-huh.”
“When do you want to get married?” He peeks over the top of me so I can see his face. “Baby, I wanted to marry you when you were twelve, so tomorrow would be perfect.”
“You’re being silly.”
“Not silly, baby. I’m just in love. When your dad gives me his blessing, that ring is on your finger.” He pulls me into his lips and kisses me gently. “Goodnight, my future wife.”
I close my eyes, snuggle into my boy, and find comfort in his peaceful voice. “Goodnight, baby.”
WEEKS HAVE PASSED since I asked Shay to marry me. I know the proposal wasn’t formal. Maybe it wasn’t the picture-perfect proposal every girl dreams of, but for me it was the best moment. I didn’t plan it, so she had no idea, and quite frankly, I didn’t have any idea I was going to ask her. Still, it was raw, real, and everything I felt when I looked at her.
I’ve always told Shay how I feel, and my love for her overflows. I asked her once if she knew the meaning of love. For me, the meaning has always been clear, since the moment I looked into her big blue eyes. She will always be love to me.
Remember that mountain I said I’d climb for her? It’s been a steady climb. No real rough terrain. Nothing I couldn’t handle without a few bus rides and late night walks to see my girl. But, like every mountain, eventually there will be rough patches, steep paths, and rocky roads. If you look over the side of a mountain worth climbing, there is a cliff that can plummet you to dangerous grounds. You’re either going to survive or fall to your death. Falling isn’t an option for me. I just need to ask her parents for their blessing, set our path in motion, and then make my girl Mrs. Shay James. Everything else, we’ll figure out.
Pretty Girl: Hey baby! Don’t forget tonight is the grad party I was telling you about.
Me: I didn’t forget. I will be there as soon as I can.
Pretty Girl: I can’t wait to see you. I love you.
Me: Have I told you how much you mean to me?
Pretty Girl: Always.
Me: See you later baby.
I set my phone down and smile. The day I asked Shay to marry me was the day I fully committed to a career in music. She’s always believed in my guitar playing ability. I guess I just never really thought about it, but I’ve been playing for so long now, I can play anything. She taught me well. My girl is so talented, a
nd just the thought of making real music with her has excitement flowing through me. I can’t wait for what our future holds.
There’s a knock on the door. I’ve been expecting Landon. “Come in,” I yell.
“What’s up?”
“Hey.” I look him up and down. He’s wearing a polo shirt and khaki shorts. “Bro, where do you get your clothes?”
“What do you mean? I get them at the mall.”
“I get that.” I laugh. “I’ve just always wondered.”
“Aw, Jace, do you like my clothes? All you had to do was ask, bro. I would have let you borrow them.”
I glance over at him. “I didn’t say I wanted to wear your fucking clothes.”
“I don’t know, Jace… I have a really pretty pink polo if you ever want to borrow it.”
“Seriously, do I look like I’d wear a pink polo?”
“Nah, I’m just messing with you.”
“So, where are we going?”
“I want to check out some of the local cafés around town that have open mic nights.”
“You’re really going to start playing for real?”
“That’s the plan.”
“You figured it out then?”
“Figured what out?”
“What you’re passionate about.”
“Well, I figured out a long time ago what I’m passionate about, but like you said, I had to figure out how to take care of her.”
“So, you and Shay are going to be the next hot duet?”
“She’s going to be hot. There’s no doubt about that, but wait until you hear her sing. She’s amazing. Prettiest voice you’ll ever hear. Me, on the other hand, I just want to see if I can sing in front of others. I have no problem singing in front of her, but I need to get my feet wet. Plus, I need to show her dad I’m working at it.”
“Yeah, if you can’t impress the old Pops, you’ll be screwed if you want to move in together.”
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