by Horn, J. D.
“Breaking Ellen’s heart?” She raised her eyebrows and lowered her chin, looking at me with astonished distaste. “Your concern is touching,” she said, looking down her nose, “but your loyalties are misplaced.” It was all too much for me. I could not bring myself to think of either of my aunts as a murderer. My mother seemed to read my thoughts, whether through magic or because they were telegraphed by my face. “I am not making any accusations. I am only telling you that the man who has been helping me in my return, in reaching out to you, has been murdered. And that is a sign that someone knows I have returned and is working against me. The way Tucker was murdered tells me that that same someone has it in for you as well. They are trying to fit you up for Tucker’s murder.”
“I don’t think I really have to worry about the police,” I said, reasoning out loud. “I only have a tangential relationship to Peter’s great-uncle, and of course I know, knew, Tucker, but . . .”
“It isn’t the police I am worried about. It’s the families. They are of course aware of your mishap with the old man. They must have felt you draw on the line’s power, but even if they did not, their golem spy would have reported it to them at the first opportunity.”
“I don’t think Emmet is spying for them,” I said.
She paused to consider, and then nodded. “Perhaps, perhaps not. Maybe I’ve grown too suspicious over the years, but soon you will understand why. All the same, I am sure the families know of the incident.”
“You’re probably right about that much,” I agreed.
“So now Tucker has been murdered, his heart burned out of his chest just like with the old man. This time, though, there was no tug on the line’s power.”
“So the families should realize I had nothing to do with it.”
“Or perhaps they will decide that you have been practicing magic using other means to gain the power. They are aware that you have been holing up with Jilo, that you and the crone have been up to something together.”
“But we’ve been trying to find Maisie.”
“Something that they have expressly forbidden. I don’t believe that they’re aware that’s what you two have been up to, but they smell rebellion brewing.”
“I’m not rebelling . . .”
“Then what would you call it? You are simply doing the exact opposite of what they have told you to do.”
“How could you know what the families are thinking anyway?” I asked.
“I have my resources, and I know their concerns about you.” So she had her own spy among them. I wondered who might be filtering information to her. “You have been refusing to spend time under the tutelage of their golem,” she said, “preferring the left-handed training you can get at Jilo’s feet. You are not knuckling down and taking the steps you need to assume your position as an anchor of the line. If that wasn’t enough to convince them that trouble is nigh, there is the final and most damning point of all. You are my daughter.”
My heart warmed at the sound of pride in her voice, but I could not make the leap she seemed to want me to make. “I still don’t see how any of this relates to Ellen and Iris,” I said. “How you could possibly think that they are attempting to set me up? Why would they want to?”
She placed her hand on her chin, her flawlessly manicured index finger resting against her lips. Her eyes looked down and away. She seemed to be considering events long since passed. She looked back up at me. “So much history. So many secrets. I’ve been keeping them for so long, I don’t quite know how to start.”
“Tell me what happened,” I said, kicking off my shoes and drawing my legs up under me, making a conscious effort to appear more relaxed than I was. “If Ellen and Iris are so horrible, how could you possibly have left Maisie and me with them?”
Her perfect complexion turned gray. “What have you been told?” she asked. Her lips pressed together into a tight line.
“The short version? You seduced Connor and Erik, got pregnant by Erik, and then died giving birth. You were noble at the end, though, and you put me before yourself. You begged Ellen to use the last of her power to save me.”
“You poor child,” she said. “Hanging the responsibility of your own mother’s death on you.” Our eyes met. It felt wonderful to be validated, to have her see things from my perspective. The comfort did not last long; I found myself wondering if she were mirroring me, trying to say what she knew I’d want to hear to gain my confidence. She pressed her hands together as if preparing to pray. “Okay,” she continued. “Let’s start with the easy part: Connor. What do you know of my powers?”
“Nothing. We never discussed your powers.”
“Of course they wouldn’t have been discussed with you.” She concluded a train of thought I hadn’t yet boarded. “Still, your mother has a few tricks up her sleeve. One of the most useful is that I can create a double of myself. A doppelgänger. As outwardly real as I am before you now. I cannot maintain the double for long, although I have over the years gotten much better at it.”
“Kind of like Wren.”
“Kind of like my parents supposed Wren to be. They weren’t at all shocked when Oliver showed up with his new playmate. Projecting energy as matter was something they had already seen from me. Maisie used a similar skill when she helped Wren grow into Jackson. Yes,” she said after a pause, “I am aware of it all.”
I squirmed as she reminded me of what Maisie had done to me. I had very little solid emotional ground to stand on, and now this stranger, my mother, was causing it to quake.
“I’m sorry,” she continued. “I know it’s unpleasant for you to dwell on that, but I have so many unpleasant things that I must share with you.”
I nodded. “Connor?”
“Yes.” She paused. “Connor. You know what he was like. Weak, greedy, and lecherous. It’s true Iris wasn’t meeting his needs. She’d had so many miscarriages, and she reacted by shutting him out. When they returned to Savannah, Connor became fixated on me. Always there. Always reaching out to touch me. I tried to divert his sexual energies into Tillandsia.” She paused and gave me a cool look. “You know I participated in the group. I will get into my reasons shortly, but for now, please understand that I did all I could to turn Connor from me. In spite of my best efforts, he only grew more eager. I think it was more than sex, more than obsession. He had caught on to what I was trying to do with Tillandsia.” She paused. “But I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”
“I spoke to Iris. I reasoned with her. I pleaded with her to handle her husband. She refused to believe me. One morning I woke up to find him sitting at the foot of my bed. Staring at me and . . . well, touching himself.” Her face tightened with distaste. “I moved out that very day. Rented a little place near the river, but he followed me there too. Always waiting for me the second I came out the door. Telling me how I was the one he loved, not Iris. Going on about how deeply he needed me. I knew what he felt for me was not love; what he called ‘love’ was the desire to possess. Finally I decided that the only way to get rid of him was to give him what he wanted. I hoped he would eventually tire of me and move on to someone else.” A smile curved only the right side of her mouth. “I created a double, and I sent her to him. Once he had satiated himself and was asleep, she, it, would dissipate. He carried on a hot little affair with a series of my doubles, but he never touched me.”
“And Erik?” I asked and watched her face soften at the mention of my father’s name.
“Erik was different,” she said. “I am guilty of having an affair with Ellen’s husband, but I’m not ashamed. The times I spent with Erik were the happiest of my life. I never meant to hurt Ellen, but as I hope you will understand, I was in love with Erik and he with me.”
TWENTY-THREE
“Erik was the love of my life, only Ellen found him first,” she said and flushed. Her composed exterior melted, and I saw a flash of the woman she must ha
ve been at my age. I understood what she had been through, the pain that cut her on both sides for hurting her sister and not being openly able to love my father. I knew now that I had never “loved” Jackson, that the emotion I’d felt for him was actually my reaction to the power that had been used in his creation, the power that should have been mine. All the same, I didn’t think I stood in any position to judge my mother.
“Here is where it all becomes so terribly complicated and murky,” she said, and her eyes looked beyond me toward an unreachable past. “Do you believe in fate?” she asked me, regaining focus.
“I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess.”
“Sometimes?”
“I guess I use it as a rationalization. When things end up like they did with Maisie, part of me wants to believe that there was no other way for them to turn out. That Maisie never had a choice, and was only playing the role written for her.”
“And the other times, when you don’t believe?”
“When I want to take things into my own hands and make a difference.”
“Like you are trying to do now for Maisie.”
“Yes, I guess so.”
“But which would be better? If you had to choose? Control or chaos?”
“Honestly, somewhere in between,” I said and smiled.
She returned my smile. “I see you have Oliver’s way of worming yourself out of committing,” she said, the criticism hit me as a warm one, filled with pride. “But now the line has chosen you. It has made the commitment for you, without giving you a choice in the matter.” She shifted in her chair and leaned forward. “The line is an awesome power, but never for a moment think you control it. It controls you. It owns you.” She let the words hang between us, giving them time to soak fully into my consciousness. I knew she was right. I’d always thought that having access to magic would mean true freedom, but ever since the line had chosen me, my life no longer felt like my own. The families, the other anchors, they all seemed to want a say.
“There are those who chafe against its ruthless control. Those who at one time assisted in its creation, but who would now like to free themselves of its tyranny.”
“The other three families,” I volunteered.
“Yes. Renegade, traitorous, evil. I’m sure you’ve heard these words used to describe the families who have balked.”
“But what they want is evil,” I protested. “To bring down the line, to subject us to the control of monsters.”
She shook her head sadly. “Monsters, indeed. Consider the world around us, Mercy. Wars and famine. People killing one another and ruining the planet to drain it of the last drop of fossil fuel. It hasn’t always been this way. The monsters, the demons, are nothing but bogeymen, created to keep witches, the strong ones like me and you, in place.” She had gotten caught up in her own tale and wasn’t picking up on my growing wariness. “Those beyond the line are not demons. They are creators, teachers, and the most merciful of judges. They placed the thirteen families in positions of trust, but we grew greedy and willful. We betrayed them.” She stood, and paced for a few moments. “Your father, Erik, he came from one of the three families.”
“Yes, I know, but he turned away from them and joined with the other ten.”
“No.” She stopped and faced me. “He never betrayed his family. His allegiance to the ten was a fiction.”
“But why?”
“There had been a prophecy . . .”
“Yes, I’ve heard about the prophecy that was made when the witches created the line. It was said that one day there would rise a witch who would unite the thirteen families again, and together they would bring down the line. That witch would come through a union of Erik’s family’s blood—”
“And the Taylors’.” She rushed over to me and took my hands. “The ten anchors saw this prophecy as a dark and fearful thing, but the other families, including your father’s, saw it as the sole glimmer of hope in a universe gone mad. I’m sorry. I know it makes your father sound cold-blooded and calculating, but he never loved Ellen. Their meeting. Their courtship. The way he disowned his own blood. He was playing his role in a carefully choreographed scheme with the goal of creating a child.”
Calling his behavior merely “cold-blooded” was being generous, and I shuddered at the thought that my father could have been so calculating and heartless. I felt ashamed of my connection to him.
“A child,” my mother continued, not seeming to notice that I’d checked out emotionally, “who could restore order and bring peace. Ellen knew nothing of this prophecy at the time. The few witches who did know of it considered it more or less a fairy tale, but then Erik and Ellen married. The mere possibility was enough to give those anchors loyal to the line pause. They conspired to prevent her from conceiving, but her own power to heal kept setting her body to right. That’s the real reason Ellen’s powers began to fail her for a time. After Paul was born, Ginny turned Ellen’s ability to access the line’s power down to low, low enough that Ellen’s body couldn’t keep the families’ magic from making her incapable of conception. They would never have allowed Ellen to bring her child to term, except that the prophecy called for a female child to be born. Paul owed his life, short though it proved to be, to a Y chromosome.”
“But wait,” I said as I struggled with my own sense of history. “I remember a time when Paul was still alive. A boy was hit by a car outside Ellen’s flower shop. He was dying, and she managed to bring him back. It scared the crap out of me. If Ginny had already been tampering with her powers, how could she have managed it?”
“The adrenaline? The emotion? Something kicked Ellen into high gear and allowed her power to loosen the valve Ginny had put on it.” She paused. “I’m sure you remember that Paul and Erik died only a week or so after the incident.”
“But that really couldn’t have been connected to Ellen’s saving the child.”
“Ellen had proven that she couldn’t be controlled, at least not with one-hundred-percent certainty. The families felt justified in stepping in and dealing with the matter.” The blood drained from my face, and nausea washed over me. “You think that wreck was an accident?” She shook her head. “No, the families arranged the crash to make sure that neither Erik nor Paul would ever sire a daughter.”
My mouth fell open. It was too horrible. I didn’t want to believe a word of it, and yet it explained so much. I weighed the doubt I felt toward what my mother was saying against the way the pieces fit so tightly together. “Did Ginny know about this? Did she help kill them?”
She returned to her chair and took a few moments to collect herself. She wrapped her arms around her torso and looked past me. “I don’t believe so. Ginny was a great many things, but she fell short of being capable of murder.” Her tone seemed to imply that she was being magnanimous in her assessment of my great-aunt. “They would have kept the deed from her until it was done, and then found a way to convince her they’d done it in the line’s best interest. It wouldn’t have taken much convincing, of that I am certain.”
“But what about Maisie and me?” I asked.
My mother relaxed and leaned forward, a mischievous look in her eye. “In spite of all their magic, the ten families and their anchors, they are still just people. They are neither omnipotent nor omniscient. They believed that you were Connor’s daughters,” she said and then shocked me by throwing back her head and laughing. “As if that weakling bastard could ever engender girls like mine, like you or our darling Maisie. Anyone with half a brain could see that your blood is far superior to any Connor had to offer. You come from a much purer stock.”
“But Iris and Ellen knew,” I prompted her.
“Yes, they knew.” She licked her lips. “Your aunts are very much like this house, I’m afraid. What you see on the outside is very different from what you’ll find within. They are capable of actions you might never believe.”
> “Such as what?” I asked. She was very likely right that I wouldn’t believe, but I had to know what she’d say. “Tell me.”
“They were both very angry with me. I think it’s fair to say they hated me. Iris blamed me, rather than her own frigidity, for her marital problems. Of course, that couldn’t be further from the truth. On the other hand, where Ellen was concerned . . .” She paused. “Please remember that Erik and I had fallen very much in love with each other. Desperately in love, the way I hope you and your Peter are, or at least may someday be.” I remained silent. She kept pointing out similarities between our experiences, as if she was trying to trick me into identifying with her. “We knew it would hurt Ellen, but we had decided to run away together. Leave Savannah and return to Erik’s home in Germany. Raise our children there, where we could protect them, you, from the line’s anchors. Somehow, Ginny learned of our plans, and she put all the pieces together.
“She and my sisters conspired against me. They came to me with the proposal that they would protect you and Maisie. If I left, letting everyone, including Erik, believe that I had died, they wouldn’t turn the two of you over to the ten families. Oh, it worked out great for each of them. Iris could hold on to Connor because he believed himself to be your father. Erik was happy to remain with Ellen, knowing that she would be a good mother to you even though she had divined the truth about your parentage, especially since I had died and could no longer threaten her marriage. Ginny got to get rid of me, the only member of the Taylors who didn’t kowtow to her and accept her slavish support of the line.”
“But they held a funeral. The whole of Savannah came. They buried you,” I said, not as statements but as a demand for explanation.
“It wasn’t me they buried. They buried a doppelgänger your aunts and Ginny forced me to create. That coffin they buried has been empty for years.”
“How did Tillandsia play into all of this, though? You were trying, weren’t you? You and Erik? You were trying to build up enough juice to bring down the line.”