by Renee Dyer
“Tucker. Don’t!” She doesn’t say it loudly so it won’t attract the attention of the others, but it’s enough to rip me out of my angry thoughts. I look at Alahna who has her hand on my forearm and understanding in her eyes. No judgment. Then it dawns on me that I’m a few feet closer to Adriana and Preston and my hands are balled into fists.
Holy Fuck. What was I thinking? I never could have taken that guy in a fight. Not that I haven’t had my share, but I know how to size a guy up and he would have beaten my ass down. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! I clearly can’t think where Adriana is involved. Clenching and unclenching my fists, I try to breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth, counting to ten, stupid ass calming techniques the therapist gave me when I was young. Didn’t work then, doesn’t work now. Stupid bullshit. It’s not working because each time I look at Adriana, I see she’s still upset and I want to punch Preston all over again. I feel like the Hulk about to go green.
Apparently feeling my tension, Alahna squeezes my arm. “They need this talk.” She doesn’t let go of my arm. Smart lady. It’s the only thing keeping me grounded. I look into her eyes and the confidence I saw all night is wavering. What I see now is a friend who’s asking me to listen. Shit. No punching Preston right now. “They’ve needed this talk for a long time, Tucker, but he was afraid. Afraid she would break or run away. Hell, we’ve all been afraid of that, but it was so much worse for him.” She stops and looks at her husband and Adriana, a smile spreading across her pretty face. “Seeing them talk, really talk, gives me hope that I’m getting my friend back. I’ve missed her,” she whispers the last line. “I guess we have you to thank for that. I have you to thank for that.” She takes another deep breath. “Thank you, Tucker.”
When she smiles at me it’s so unexpected, it takes my breath away. It transforms her from pretty to beautiful. For just a second, I wonder what or who broke her to keep her from smiling like this more often.
Then her words sink in.
“Wait. What the hell are you thanking me for?” I’m completely flabbergasted.
“You’ve done something today, in one day, that we, all of her friends and family, have been unable to do in sixteen months.” I’m holding my breath, waiting to hear what I could have possibly done that was so fantastic because I feel like I’ve been in Adriana’s way all day. “You’ve gotten her to talk about Alex.” Oh, him. I know in my head that’s a good thing, but for reasons I’m not willing to delve into at this time, it tugs at my heart whenever I hear his name. “He’s been off limits for us to talk about since he died,” she continues. “His name would bring her to her knees, send her into panic attacks. But then you show up and she’s talking about him, standing up to us, and hugging us again.” She stops and I watch this woman who has kept her emotions so guarded all night struggle to keep it together. “It’s like watching a miracle unfold in front of me. I found myself thanking God the last few hours for bringing you here and for those who know me, that’s huge. Somehow you got through to her and a bit of our girl came back.”
“What is all of that supposed to mean?” I bark out, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. She’s making me sound like a savior which is so far from the truth. I can’t even save myself. My life’s a fucking mess. She’s wrong. She has to be wrong.
But she’s staring at me with this look that says “listen to me, I know what I’m talking about.”
She tries again to get me to understand, this time talking more forcefully. “When Alex died, Adriana’s spirit died with him. Physically, she’s been here with us, but it’s just been a shell of her. She goes through the motions of living, but I don’t think she’s been feeling anything. You look in her eyes and you see it. They’re vacant… dead. She’s been so… so lost.” Her blue eyes are frozen over like they may shatter and the hurt on her face is devastating to watch. I haven’t even known Adriana a full day and I know the vacant stare Alahna is talking about. It unnerves me every time Adriana goes to that place. To her personal limbo.
“I can tell she’s getting to you.” I try to scoff at her, but she waves my attitude away. “I see the way you watch her, how aware of her you are, the little touches you two shared, and how they affected you.” I really want her to stop now, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. “How you wanted to punch Preston, or worse. Hell, Tucker, your fists were balled up and you were on a one man mission to save the damsel in distress. Were you even aware of your actions?” she asks with a knowing smirk.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. “I’ve had a lot of beer tonight.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Christ, I’m clinging to it like a damn life line.
“You keep telling yourself that,” she replies chuckling. “But, let me tell you something, Mr. I’m So Hot I Can Get Any Girl I Want, or so I’ve heard, we all love Adri and are extremely protective of her. I believe she’s getting under your skin and that scares the shit out of you. Doesn’t surprise me with what you’ve just dealt with if any of the tabloids are to be believed, but Adri isn’t that type of woman. She’s honest, loving, giving. She doesn’t do anything halfway. So, when she cares, it’s with all of her. What I’m saying is, she isn’t some chick for you to just fuck a couple times, head back to movie land, and leave here a bigger mess than when you got here.” Shoving her finger into my chest and getting all up in my personal space, her eyes now glacial, she drops her tone. “Trust me when I tell you, if you do that, our entire circle of friends will find you, drag your sorry ass back here, and bury you where no one will ever find you. Understand me, superstar?”
My mouth suddenly dry, I just nod and not because of the threat, but because she gave me the speech a friend gives when they think their girl is interested in a guy. She thinks Adriana is interested in me. Well shit. I’m stupefied. Happy, but stupefied.
“Good. Hope we get to see more of you before you head back to Vancouver.” I nod again, unable to tell her I plan to leave in the morning. “Sleep well. I’m going to go save Adriana now,” she says, playfully punching me in the arm as she walks away. I watch as Adriana is swallowed in a bear hug from Preston, all previous sadness seems to be gone.
Thank God Alahna stopped me from making a gigantic mistake.
Still reeling from my conversation with Alahna, soaking in her unspoken words that Adriana is interested in me, I don’t see Mickayla B-lining for me till it’s too late. Shit. No time to brace myself to go rounds with Firecracker. Totally off my game, I just wait and let her take the first punch.
“Hey, Hot Stuff.” She gives me a slight check with her hip. “Little bit of an intense conversation you were having there?” I hear the question in her voice and give her a pleading look, hoping she’ll let this go. No such luck. She puts her hands on her hips and gives me an “I’m waiting” look.
“Yeah,” I laugh nervously. “Think my life was threatened. Intense sums it up.” She quirks a brow at me, never removing her hands from her hips. Shit. I offended her. “I get it,” I quickly add. “A guy straight out of the tabloids shows up on your grieving friend’s doorstep and weasels his way into staying with her. You all must think I’m a piece of shit.”
I normally would laugh off the threats of a woman’s friends. Wouldn’t tell them shit. Answer any questions. Surprising myself, I want these people to like me. Accept me. Waiting for Mickayla to say something, anything, is excruciating.
“I’ll be honest with you, Hot Stuff, at first when I saw you I was like holy fucking shitballs, Tucker fucking Stavros is at our cookout. He’s hot. Well, you heard me say that so now I’m just repeating myself and I doubt you need an ego rubbing.” Man, I’m going to miss this chick and her smart mouth when I leave. “Then, Adri dropped the bomb that she invited you to stay here… with her. I thought she had finally lost her mind.” The seriousness on her normally joking face is scaring me. Playful Mickayla is gone. “I thought this is it– she’s broken all the way. I’ve known for a long while that she’s been putting on a front for us. T
rying to make us think she’s getting better. Instead, she was getting more lost in her head.”
“Why are you telling me this? Won’t she be upset?” I should have asked Alahna this, too. Doesn’t this go against some code or something or is it just guys who don’t talk?
“Why you ask? Let me finish and you’ll understand. I hope. She thinks she fooled us all with her act. I’m a therapist and she thinks she had me fooled,” she scoffs in disgust. “I’m a fucking therapist, but I still couldn’t help pull one of my best friends out of her darkest hour, the time she needed the most help. She invites a complete stranger to stay in her home without talking to anyone she’s close to for an opinion, totally out of her character. The therapist in me wanted to commit her. But, I watched her for a little while tonight and I changed my mind.”
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I can’t look Mickayla in the eye. Afraid she’ll see my exposed emotions. Afraid she’ll see too much. “Wh-Why’d you change your mind?” I want to know and I don’t. Not ready to hear another friend say I’m saving her, but hoping I’m affecting her like she’s affecting me.
“She talked about Alex.” It always goes back to him, doesn’t it? I think pettily. “But, it wasn’t just that she talked about him, she got animated. She smiled when she talked about him and didn’t look like her world was crumbling. It’s the most alive I’ve seen her look since he’s been gone.” She stops. It seems like she’s trying to find the right words. I take the reprieve to check in on Adriana. Instantly, I’m caught up in the sound of her laugh, how her face lights up when she smiles. As much as seeing her with her friends makes me realize how lonely my life is, it makes me happy that she’s surrounded by all this love. I don’t know how I’ve allowed myself to feel so much for her so fast.
Mickayla’s talking again and it takes me a second to catch up. “She stopped living in a sense. Without Alex, life didn’t work for her, wasn’t worth anything. Tonight, though, I saw a spark of life in her. I think you shocked her, gave her the jolt she needed to kick start her life, make her wake up, look around, and see it’s worth living again.”
I’m staring at her incredulous, mouth hanging open. How the hell can she think I had any part in this? Are all the women around here fucking nuts? Running my fingers through my hair, I let out a long sigh and get ready to confess my frustration. “Mickayla, I appreciate you and Alahna thinking I’ve helped Adriana open up or whatever it is you think I’ve done, but you ladies are so wrong. I showed up in her driveway unannounced. Yeah I brought her groceries in, but then she cooked for me, I ate a shit ton of her food creating dishes for her, used her laundry facilities, tried to help her get ready for the cook out but just slowed her down, took a nap on her couch while she busted her ass, crashed her cook out, and weaseled my way into staying at her house. I haven’t helped her. Don’t you get it? I’m a fucking nuisance.” I rush the words out trying to make Mickayla see the truth about me. I’m not a good guy.
“Don’t you get it, Hot Stuff?” she asks, putting extra emphasis on the word you, a cheshire cat grin on her face. “That’s obviously what she needed and what we couldn’t give her. Maybe she didn’t know she needed it herself,” she says, shrugging. “Enough mushy shit already. I deal with that at work all week.” I laugh. I really am going to miss her. “As much as I think a steamy roll in the hay with a fine piece of ass such as yourself is just what she needs to get her motor started, if you hurt her, I’m going to shove your balls up your ass. Make sure you fully comprehend the definition of shitballs. Have a fun night,” she says, giving me little tap on the cheek. “Hope to see more of you, Hot Stuff.” She eyes me from head to toe and turns her back to me, winking at me as she starts to walk away. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she calls over her shoulder, sashaying all the way to the group of friends, leaving me speechless.
I think she enjoyed that talk a little too much. Definitely going to miss her.
Chuckling, I watch Mickayla walk around pinching everyone’s ass before grabbing Blake’s hand, telling him to take her home and have his wanton way with her. He’s got his hands full with her, but somehow I think he’s more than willing to accept the challenge. It might be the big ass smile spread across his face. Adriana hands them their food and I wave as they walk away, hands in each other’s back pockets. I chuckle again as Mickayla looks over her shoulder shooting me another wink. Firecracker.
Still watching them walk away, I notice Preston walking my way. I square my shoulders, body tensing, I get ready for threat number three.
Shock must be apparent on my face as he extends his hand to me. “Tucker, man, it was nice to meet you,” he says with a small laugh, a genuine smile breaking out across his face. I’ve had a lot of practice with fake smiles over the years and this one isn’t.
I grip his hand and shake it, trying not to show that he intimidates the hell out of me. “What, no threat from you, too?” I joke.
“Do I need to threaten you, Tucker?” He doesn’t raise his voice nor does he stop shaking my hand, but his grip gets a fraction tighter. Bad joke on my part. “Just kidding, man.” He laughs again. “The girls around here are hardcore. If they’ve warned you already, there’s nothing I can say that will top it. All I can do is ask you to be careful around Adri. Please.”
He’s pleading with me and my heart goes out to him. I shake my head, needing a second to find my voice. This guy lost one best friend physically and the other emotionally. I totally respect him for continually looking out for her no matter how much she pushes him away.
“It was good meeting you, too, Preston. Think I’ll go clean up so you guys can say your goodbyes and Adriana can relax.” I don’t know what else to say.
He gives me a slap to the shoulder, probably a little harder than necessary. “Good man,” he says and heads back to the girls. I start doing just what I told Preston I would. Cleaning up, my intention when I was stopped by the girls earlier. This night has been so unexpected. This whole day has. From finding this neighborhood, to the force that had me pulling into Adriana’s driveway, to breakfast, to her inviting me to stay here, to meeting her friends and feeling like part of their group. They treated me like part of their group.
I was part of a group.
I’ve never been part of a group. Always been a loner. Preferred that over cliques. Over being told how to act. Who to hang out with. What was cool. How did I end up in the profession I’m in? It represents everything I despise.
For a little while tonight, I forgot who I am and had fun. No stress. No worries.
Within a few minutes, I have everything cleaned up except the desserts. I’m not sure how she wants these packed. Adriana is yelling her final goodbye to Preston and Alahna as she walks over and stands by my side. I stand with her and watch the couple walk to the path that connects the two yards, the path Preston told me he and Alex built so their girls could walk back and forth anytime safely. Their girls. Not mine. Preston may not have meant it that way when he said it, but I’m telling myself to take it that way.
“Thanks for picking up, Tucker,” she says shyly. “You really didn’t have to do that. Guest, remember?” Why she’s suddenly shy, I don’t know. She’s been talkative and fun, feisty, and sexy. Not this shy girl wringing her hands, unable to meet my eyes.
“It’s not a big deal, Adriana. I wanted to give you a few extra minutes with your friends.” I’m surprised at how soft my voice is. By the way her head jumps up and she’s looking at me now, she seems surprised, too. The blush creeping over her cheeks has me wondering what thoughts are roaming through that beautiful head of hers. “Why don’t we finish up? There’s not much left. You must be beat.”
“It has been a long day,” she admits. We both reach for the key lime pie and our eyes shift to the one missing piece. Her friends’ odd reaction to me having a piece and them avoiding it like the plague slams back at me and my eyes find their way to her face. Her breath hitches and I can only explain the look in her eyes as pleading,
begging me to let this go.
I wish I could, but she’s squirming. We both stand there one hand on the pie plate, eying each other, not moving, not saying anything. I’m not sure we’re even breathing. I wish she would tell me the story on her own, but I know that won’t happen. Why should she? She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t owe me any answers. My resolve is slipping.
“I can get this,” she whispers so low I barely hear her. I see her flight instincts kicking in. She’s trying to walk away. I would have let it go until she did that.
“Adriana, wait.” Her shoulders droop in defeat. “Why wouldn’t anyone else eat the pie tonight? I seriously doubt they thought you poisoned it.” I try to make light of things, ease some of the tension.
She slowly turns back around and I wish she hadn’t. Vacant Adriana is back. In a voice I haven’t heard before and never want to again she says, “It was Alex’s favorite.” She sounds so somber. Like all the sun has been removed from her life and only darkness remains.
I’m confused and sad for her. Wouldn’t she know how they would react? Do they normally like it? My brain is a tornado of thoughts I can’t process. All except one.
Why’d you make it?
“T..Today would have been his birthday. I always made him key lime pie for his birthday.” The despair in her voice yanks me out of my racing thoughts.
“Huh,” I ask confused.
“You asked why I made it.” Now she looks confused.
“Oh God. I’m so sorry, Adriana,” I rush the words out. I hadn’t realized I asked the question out loud. Asshole. “I didn’t mean to. I’m really sorry. I keep asking you uncomfortable stuff. I’m the worst house guest ever.”
Her giggle stops whatever else I was going to say. The sound going straight through me. I love the sound. Unfortunately, all parts of my body love the sound and my jeans are getting that all too familiar tight feeling again. Thank God I don’t blush like her. I’d be red all damn day.