Craving Control

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Craving Control Page 9

by Kylie Hillman


  I savour that time. I’m not stupid enough to think this is going to go my way without a protest.

  “Hey, where are we going?”

  There it is. Time’s up.

  “My place.”

  “Oh, no.” Maddi rolls her drink cup between her palms. “No, I said I wanted to go home.”

  Gripping the steering wheel, I twist it in my hands. I close my eyes for a second, not caring that this road is filled with wildlife that can jump out in front of me without notice and pray to the dark lords above that I can keep my temper under control.

  “I thought we could take some time together. Tonight didn’t really go the way I planned,” I say with a quick glance her way.

  It takes superhuman powers of concentration to return my eyes on the road and not keep them on her face while I wait for her answer.

  “I, uh.” Maddi stutters the beginning of an answer, then stops. In the time it takes her to formulate the rest of her response, I’ve already started mapping out different ways I could abscond with her.

  One, I knock her out and keep driving until we hit the coast then charter a plane to a deserted island.

  Two, I pull over, use my superior strength to subdue her, and peel those tight jeans off her...

  “That’s a good idea,” Maddi says. I can hear the trepidation in her tone, but it begins to dilute the more she speaks. “I need some time to cool down. That scene back at the paddock was intense.”

  Relief invades my veins. It cools the images of stealing her away from everyone. They don’t entirely dissipate, but I do file them away for future contemplation. One can never be too prepared.

  I reach over and squeeze her thigh. “Your brothers are pretty protective.”

  My casual remark sounds breezy. It’s not. The understatement is pretty clear to both of us. Maddi lays her hand on top of mine where it rests on her thigh. She lightly pats it, then sighs.

  “Benji and Joel think they’re doing the right thing. I really should stop them, but it’s hard. I promised my mum before she died that I’d look after them for her. Letting them think that they’re looking out for me is my way of looking out for them. While they’re concentrating on controlling everything I’m doing, they’re not out there being stupid. Especially Benji. He was always the most likely to go off the rails.”

  Maddi doesn’t realise that she’s just sealed her fate. I knew she was the key to my revenge. I knew she was the one person who could hurt her brothers. I just didn’t know how much. She’s handed me the key to her compliance.

  I know how to control her.

  I know how to keep her all for myself.

  I need to be the only thing that stands between Benji and serious trouble.

  After I flip the indicator and complete the turn into the long drive that leads to the mansion, I take the opportunity to pull her closer to me. Maddi slides as far across the seat as she can and, after a token show of reluctance, snuggles under my arm.

  “I’ll deal with your brothers as long as you promise me that you won’t listen to any of the crap anyone says about me.” We crest the rise that brings the mansion into view. I need to get this out before she meets my mother. “The person I was three years ago isn’t who I am today.”

  Coming to a stop in my parking spot, I pull the handbrake into the place. Maddi sits up straight and gazes out the windscreen at the monstrosity in front of us. Her eyes widen, and she lifts her eyebrows.

  “Wow. Some house you live in.”

  “It’s okay.”

  Maddi giggles. That’s number five in the bag. Despite the extra occurrences, my body’s reaction has remained the same—she giggles, and I’ve overcome with raw need. Butterflies and an overwhelming wave of serenity, followed hot on its heels by the need to possess her in the most elemental way.

  “I’d hate to see what you find better than okay,” she quips.

  With a slightly jaded smile lifting my lips, I get out of the car and come around to her side. Opening her door, I help Maddi out of the vehicle. The lights over the wide front door is lit. This means that my father is still out, and my mother is still up. She likes to passive-aggressively show her annoyance at his absence by having the front lights switched off when she turns in for the night.

  “We have two options,” I say, carefully. “We can enter through the front door and you can endure the third-degree, courtesy of my mother. Or I can walk you around to the French doors that lead into my wing where you’ll have to wait for me to open them after I’ve gone inside alone and survived her wrath.”

  Maddi bumps her shoulder against mine. She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the front door. “Considering both my brothers hit you tonight, I think the least I can do is accompany you through the upcoming Spanish inquisition.”

  Inclining my head in agreement, I hold the door open for her. “Come on in. Welcome to the den of iniquity. Home to nefarious plots and dastardly deeds. Foundation of a political dynasty that demands the blood of the innocent to maintain its unholy reign.”

  As I’m talking, I follow Maddi inside. She spins a circle in the foyer, then stops to laughs at me. “I can see the evil seeping through the wallpaper. Must be a terrr-iiible place to live.”

  She can think I’m joking as much as she likes. What she can’t say is that I didn’t warn her.

  “Let’s go,” I usher her forward. Even the butler hasn’t realised that we’re here yet. This could be my opportunity to slip Maddi into my wing without anyone knowing she’s here.

  “Quick. Quick.” Maddi mocks me.

  She continues to act like this is a joke. I don’t deter her from her delusion. Someone like her wouldn’t understand how my world runs.

  Footsteps echo through the formal lounge. Either Stanley, our butler, has heard our entrance, or my mother is taking a late saloon in the room that houses her beloved gin. I don’t know which occupant it is, but I do know that I want this easy grace between me and Maddi to continue, and that won’t happen if anyone in this house gets the chance to interfere.

  “Come now.” I point up the stairs, then walk up two steps.

  The door to the lounge begins to open. I reach down and take hold of Maddi’s shirt. Tugging her after me, I run up the steps and straight into my wing. Once we’re through the door, I slam it shut behind us and flick the lock up.

  “You’re kinda weird,” Maddi presses her lips together and tilts her head to the right. “But it’s pretty funny. See, I thought I was the only one with a family that needs hiding.”

  Our eyes meet. I see kindness and understanding in her gaze. That stupid fluttering she always creates in my stomach starts again. It’s almost unbearable, this reaction I have to her.

  While I’m mentally struggling with my physical symptoms, Maddi rubs my arm and dances away from me.

  “So, this is your part of the house?” she asks.

  I cough, followed by a shrug. I’m trying to buy myself enough time to deal with my reaction to her. It doesn’t work. The way my cock responds to her is easy to deal with, it’s how she affects the rest of me that I can’t handle.

  Maddi checks out my bookcase. She eases one of the books off the shelf, then runs to my bed and dives on it. Shedding her boots as she goes, she settles herself against my pillows and pats the spare side of the bed.

  “Stop standing there like you’ve never had a girl in your room before. I’m not going to bite.”

  The stunning girl before me is so far from the truth that it would be mean to tell her.

  This room has been desecrated by acts she couldn’t even imagine, dozens of times over.

  I toe off my leather loafers—completely inappropriate footwear for a bonfire, but class should never be sacrificed for comfort—and join her. Sitting as close as I can to Maddi, I shuffle myself down the bed until I’m the same height as her.

  Maddi leans against me, seemingly at ease.

  “What are you reading?” I ask. She’s lazily flipping pages. I don’t know if she’s readi
ng or browsing.

  “Jane Austen. Pride and Prejudice.”

  “Why am I not surprised?” It’s my turn to laugh.

  Maddi continues turning pages. She frowns and then lets the pages slip through her fingers until she’s back to the first page.

  “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” Maddi reads aloud. She snaps the book shut. “Imagine living in those times. Thank God we’re alive today.”

  I push myself upright and lean my head back against the headboard. “Times haven’t changed all that much, Maddi. Only I won’t be able to have just any wife, she’ll need to be someone with the perfect pedigree and the appropriate seal of approval from my parents.”

  She lifts my arm up and curls herself into my side. With her head laying on my chest, I feel her face move and I imagine that she’s frowning. The next second, she proves me right.

  “I’m so sorry that’s your reality. That must suck.”

  Reaching behind me, I turn the light switch to dim the lights. Stroking the top of her arm, I take my time to formulate the right response. Maddi snuggles further into me and I start playing with her hair. Touching her soothes me. Having this level of connection with her—courtesy of her brothers’ bad behaviour—calms me. When I’m with Maddi, even when we’re just hanging out at her house, peace flows through me.

  It’s something I’ve never had before.

  Something I didn’t know I wanted until I’d tasted it.

  Something I’m afraid to lose if she sees the real me.

  Thankfully, I understand the key to ensuring she stays with me.

  Forever.

  “Sometimes expectations aren’t meant to be met,” I murmur, continuing to stroke her hair. “There comes a time when a man has to walk his own path.”

  She doesn’t answer me. I peer down at her and smile. She’s asleep. Long eyelashes brushing the top of her cheeks, she sleeps with her pink lips slightly parted. Part of my shirt is clutched in her hand, although the rest of her long form is relaxed.

  I can’t help it. I need to touch her.

  It’s with shaky fingers that I pull the hem of her shirt free from her jeans. I want to know if the sparks I felt the first time are still there. With a tenderness that no one else in my life receives, I skim my fingers lightly across her hip and down the small amount of her stomach I’ve exposed.

  Electrical charges spark from my fingertips, following me as I trace my name on her skin.

  Tiny shadows of desire spin in my mind—teasing me with promises of the illicit. Could I unbutton her pants while she’s sleeping and slip my hand inside the tight denim? If she woke, would she welcome my invasion? Could tonight be the night that I make her mine in the only way that matters?

  A small beam of light invades the room. Someone has unlocked the door that leads to my wing and is heading to my room. By the determined stride, I figure it’s my father.

  Urgent need to keep him from Maddi overcomes me. The resulting panic makes my heart race and my skin clammy. Everything he touches of mine he sullies. Everything I have, he ruins.

  I need to keep Maddi safe from my father’s treachery.

  Slipping out from underneath her, I stop only to lay her head gently on a pillow. Quickening my pace, I manage to head off my father before he enters the bedroom. I pull the door shut, and the wooden barrier between him and Maddi brings my pulse back under control.

  “What do you want?” My enquiry is gruff, filled with venom and spite.

  “Now Brendan, be nice,” he cautions. “I can take every inroad you’ve made with our guest and twist it into your worst nightmare.”

  I lean back against the door with a mocking grin. “Once again, I ask, what do you want?”

  His smirk is filled with smugness. My palm itches with the need to wipe it off his face.

  Hitting my father might make up for the ass-kicking I received from the O’Brien boys tonight.

  “Here,” he says, passing a small jewellery box to me. “I heard about your little confrontation in the paddock and Stanley informed me that you had brought a tall blonde into your room. Knowing your sloppy standards, I imagine that you think you have your plan stitched up.”

  “I have everything under control,” I interject. Dealing with his current mood sets my teeth on edge. The progress I thought we’d made the other night feels lost. He’s back to doubting me again.

  “Open the box.”

  I snap out the blue velvet case. A sapphire ring, my grandmothers sapphire ring, gleams back at me. With a decisive clunk, I close it.

  “What the hell?” I ask, trying to pass it back to him.

  He pushes it away, stepping into my space. “Keep. It.”

  “No.”

  Taking hold of the front of my shirt, he pulls me toward him. “I know you’re going to screw this up. That ring is your saving grace. The minute it looks like she’s leaving you, pull it out and spin a sob story that plays on her heart strings.”

  “I don’t need it,” I grind out the words.

  “Madelaine O’Brien is innocent,” he states it like it’s an undisputable fact. “The first man to break her in will be the man she stays with.”

  I’m already shaking my head. Going by the last day of school, I’d bet the ring I hold in my hand on the fact that Maddi’s already had sex. You don’t greet a man by wrapping your legs around his waist unless you’ve been intimate with him.

  Just the thought of Maddi with Mik Kennedy makes me homicidal.

  God help him if he comes anywhere near her now that she’s with me.

  My father continues offering advice, even though I’m no longer listening. I’m too busy planning how I can kill any man who’s touched her before me.

  “If you’re not man enough to seal the deal quickly, that ring will save your ass when she gets sick of you. Which we know she will. Everyone does eventually.”

  Angry shaking takes hold of me. He’s gone from offering his twisted brand of guidance to openly berating me.

  “Before you lose your good sense and acquaint that poor girl with your particular tastes, I would make sure that ring is on her finger. I’d also caution that you make sure that you either have her worshipping the ground at your feet or you have something damning to hang over her head beforehand.”

  What can I say? My proclivities are well known within my family. All because of one slight slip up with the daughter of the Mayor that could have brought my family down if knowledge of it had got out. A few bruises and a whining little bitch who kept saying that I wouldn’t stop when she asked was a scandal even my family name couldn’t withstand without paying a steep penalty, reputation wise.

  In my social class, dastardly deeds frequently occur—the difference is that we make sure out transgressions are against those who are easily brought off or wouldn’t be believed if they spoke out. I’d made an error of the highest order by giving her to make ammunition needed to make accusations that could be proven.

  Thankfully, my grandad paid off her father while my father helped him politically. The incident ended up buried so deep that it doesn’t even legally exist any longer.

  But it raises a good point.

  My father’s reasoning is sound.

  Maddi could become another liability if I lose control.

  I push the ring into my pocket.

  Eyeballing him until he lets the front of my shirt go, I paste a smile on face. “What type of damning evidence would you advise?”

  “Something that would hurt her brothers or her father. She’s too Mary Sue to give you anything to use on her, plus I think she’ll respond better if you come after her family.”

  I can’t hide my shock. Maybe we’re more alike than we both think?

  “I think I know just the thing.”

  He claps me on the shoulder. “Good. Make sure you come to me if you need help.”

  “I will,” I reply with a nod.

  Turning on
his heel, he leaves without another word. His hand is on the door handle when I speak. “Why are you helping me? Any other time—”

  “We have a common aim, Brendan.”

  “Ruining Benji?”

  “No,” he replies. “The Black Shamrocks MC as a whole. You have your plan and I have mine. Fortunately, our cross purposes will create the same outcome. The O’Brien’s will go down and bring their club with them.”

  His explanation makes little sense, but I know better than to question him. He will tell me more when he’s ready.

  I let the door close behind him before I re-enter the bedroom. Maddi is in the same position as I left her. Gently nudging her awake, I go against my instinct to keep her, and pass her boots to her instead.

  “Oh, hey,” she says, covering her mouth when she yawns. “I must have passed out.”

  “That you did, pretty lady. Now I need to get you home before curfew. Wouldn’t want your dad getting upset with me.”

  Maddi looks stricken. Her panic is amusing to me; however, it also proves that I’ve made the right choice. By looking out for her in the ways that matter, by treating her as her own person instead of an extension of her brothers, I’m making myself important to her. Eventually, she’ll come to me whenever her brothers make her feel like a child and I can separate her from her family for good.

  Once that happens, no one will matter to Madelaine O’Brien, but me.

  I will be her gravity, the epicentre of her world.

  Her judge. Jury. Executioner.

  Her only friend. Her lover. Her tormentor.

  Taking Maddi’s boots from her grasp, I get to my knees and slip them over her feet. Zipping them up the side of her calf, I lay a kiss on the end of her nose. Standing, I help her to her feet.

  “Your chariot awaits, my lady.”

  TEN

  Spying Kyle walking away from his friends, I know that now is my time to pounce. I haven’t forgotten how he hugged Maddi at last weekend’s bonfire. This idea he has that he can lay hands on my girl needs to be nipped in the bud right straightaway.

  This party is good as any time to show him who’s in charge.

 

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