The two men, stared at one another as Able took on the weight of what Cole had said. He hated that it was true. He had hoped that somehow, he could find a way around it, find a way to make her love him despite his career. He had racked his brain, night after, sleepless night, trying to figure out a way that this could all go down and not leave everyone involved scar’d. But how could there be? No matter what, someone was gonna get hurt in the end. Even knowing all this Able still couldn’t let Penny go, he just couldn’t.
Cole and he had the same problem, neither men were willing to let loose of her. Not that, either of them, even stood a chance. Not unless they were willing to give up, everything they had worked so hard for.
"So, let's hear it man, are you really ready to walk away?" Cole repeated his question, though, Able wasn't sure if
he meant from the fame or from Penny. He had a feeling it was double sided.
"Are, you?" Able challenged, returning Cole’s hard look.
The silence grew so loud between them that it hurt the soul to hear. It seemed neither had an answer to give.
"Fuck this, why the fuck am I even wasting my breath talking
to you? You ain’t shit to me, anymore." Cole tsk’ed, with the roll of his eyes.
"Ya know, you act like this is all on me, like I'm the only shitty friend between us, but you haven't been straight up with me, either. I thought we were tight, man. I thought we told each other everything but you…,"
Cole spun around, giving Able a shocked look, his eyes going wide.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me?! You're really gonna stand here and give me that shit, tell me I wasn't straight up with you? Motherfucker, I’ve always been truthful with you! I fucking told you everything, always have. I never kept anything from you, except for the fact that Penny was Livi, but in the end, I even came out with that too. I felt like a piece of shit for not telling you, right away. I’ve told you every dark, fucked-up, secret I've ever had. We were brothers, closer than blood, you and I were, you son of bitch! You, on the other hand, lied about everything. You said you were never gonna see her again but you did! You fucked her after you knew, you knew man, you fucking knew, and you still fucked her! I don’t think I know you at all, maybe I never did, because the man I thought I knew, would have never sunk so fucking low!”
Cole was right up to the bars now. His eyes filled with betrayal. "Well, that makes two of us because I don’t know you either, asshole! There’s this big ass chunk of your life, that you never even told me about. All the late night talks we’ve had, and you’ve never said one word about her before all this shit went down. You never even showed me a picture of her, never let on once, that you were head over heels for some chick. And now, you wanna stand here, acting like, I’m, the only keeper of secrets, well fuck that! You never even told me you had a fucking kid, for Christ's sake!" Able screamed back, tossing his hands into the air.
"What the fuck are you talking about, what kid?" Cole scoffed, thinking maybe he had tagged his former friend, just a little too hard in the head, during their fight. He wasn’t making any damn sense.
A moment passed, of Able’s eyes growing wide and of Cole’s brows furrowing. Then, just like that, it did make sense, it all made perfect sense.
“Able, what fucking kid?!" Cole sounded, as if breath, no longer filled his lungs. His eyes begged for an answer that he already had, but just couldn’t accept.
Able’s mouth opened and closed, lost for words. He thought Cole knew; how could he, not? Quickly, he ran the story back in his head, the one Cole had told him the night they had climbed up on the Hollywood sign. After finding out the truth about Cole and Penny, Able had looked back on the story, assuming Cole, had just added the part about the asshole, who got her knocked up, and then walked out on her.
How could Penny not have told him? How could he really not know? It was clear, though, by the look on Cole’s face that he had had no idea, no clue at all.
The weight of the moment, set heavy, between the cells.
"What kid Able, what fucking kid?" Cole repeated, blinking several times. His head was spinning, his heart pounding. His
eyes felt as if they were being pierced by a thousand needles.
"I'm so sorry, man. I thought you knew! How could you not know? Trent… T.J… he's your son, Cole, that’s your boy." Able, broke it down, as simply as he could, his own voice cracking. He could see his friend coming undone, in a way, he had never witnessed before.
Cole’s hands began to tremble as he reached for the bars that set between he and Able. His knees felt like Jello as his eyes darted over Able’s face, searching for something as the color drained from his cheeks.
"No…, it can’t be, she said… she said, he was that fucking assholes kid. She told me… she never… it can't be!" Cole stumbled over his words. It felt like he was being sucker punched by years gone by, by memories, of other times and places.
"It’s gotta be, man. She told me that she had only been with me, and her kid's dad, that would make, him, you. I just thought you didn't want anyone to know. Maybe she lied, maybe she fucked someone else, and just didn’t wanna tell me. Chicks lie about that shit all the time, maybe he’s not yours, Cole, maybe I’m wrong!”Able quickly tried to take it all back.
The pain washing over Cole's features was, too much, to bear witness to. In that moment, he would have given anything to make it so his friend stopped looking at him the way that he was. Devastated and shell shocked was not a good look for a man like Cole Conners.
"T.J.'s my son…, he's my son? Oh God, he's mine, he's always
been mine…,”
Cole's voice was breathy, barely a whisper, what tone there was, was hoarse and raw. Tears welled up in his eyes as reality finally, set in. His mind was flashing through history. Back to that day at the flea market, and the look Penny had given him, the look he had missed, as her eyes darted from him to the little blonde haired boy, standing next to her. The little boy, who had looked up at him, with the same green eyes, that had always stared back at him in the mirror. He had missed, what had been staring him in the face, the entire time. The air was thick as Cole tried to suck in oxygen. His throat felt like it was closing up. He was dying, he was sure of it.
"He looks just like you, how could you not have seen it, man?” Able noted, his heart on the floor. He hadn't meant for this to happen. Cole, never should have had to find out this way, not from him, anyway.
Able had never seen Cole cry, not even once, over the years that they had known each other. Here he was, though, tears slipping down his cheeks, as his eyes stayed unfocused.
Cole was lost to what his mind was telling him was truths. Everything he had thought to be true was a lie. Penny had
lied to him. She had kept him away from his son, but then again…, she hadn’t. Really, he had been there all along, well almost all along. He had missed out on T.J.’s first two years. That was time he would never get back. How could she not tell him? How could she do that, to him?
The sob that rocked his body, echoed through the jail as Cole hit his knees, before rolling over onto his side, his body curling around itself. The sobs continued as his entire body jerked. The full force, of the situation, hit him and hard.
"Cole, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" Able repeated, dropping down to his knees. He tried desperately to reach for his friend through the bars. But, just as the tips of his fingers brushed against Cole’s shoulder, the man jerked, before rolling away from him.
“Don’t you fucking touch me!” Cole barked, crawling on all fours to the corner of his cell. Leaning back against the wall he hugged his knees to his chest, gripping his spinning head in his trembling hands.
Able pressed his head to the bars, feeling as if he had just killed Superman. That's what Cole had always been to him. He was an unmovable wall, of pure strength and determination. Nothing ever got close enough to touch him, let alone hurt him. Looking at him now, though, he appeared to be, just another man, made up of blood an
d bone, just like the rest. Superman was gone and in his place, a mere mortal set in shambles.
The next morning, the judge set bail, and after both men anted up, they found themselves walking down a long hall, heading toward the exit. Neither, had said a word to the other, all night. Tension was the only thing they were sharing, now.
They exited the building to find the sun, setting too bright in the sky. It had them both shielding their eyes as they looked around for the rides that were supposed to be picking them up.
"I'm sorry," Able spoke first, saying the only thing he knew to say.
"It is what it is." Cole shrugged, glancing down the street.
"So, is this it, is this how it ends?" Able questioned, thinking it was fucked up, how easy a friendship could be destroyed. Then again, this wasn’t easy, none of it had been.
"Are you gonna leave her alone?" Cole questioned, bringing his attention back to Able.
Taking a deep breath, Able ran his hands through his long greasy locks.
"I can't, I’m in love with her, man."
Able had almost lied in order to keep the friendship but he just couldn’t do it. Look where it had gotten him the last time. He wished he was a stronger man, he wished that he could end it, just bow out, but he wasn’t, and he couldn’t.
"Well, there’s your answer, then.” Cole shrugged, before taking a step Able’s way. “Listen, I'm only gonna tell you this once. Stay the fuck away from me! Don’t call, don’t text, don’t contact me, whatsoever, under any circumstance. If you see me, look the other fucking direction. Because, next time, I'll fucking kill you!" Cole warned, in a deadly low tone, just as a town car pulled up to the curb. He waited until Able gave him a nod, before climbing inside and slamming the cars door shut.
Able watched, as the town car pulled away with his former best friend, flipping him the bird, out the window. From here on out, he was on his own.
Chapter 26
A fter being released, Cole went straight to the airport. He wanted to get back home to Cali, as fast as possible. He canceled the day's convention. He couldn't function, let alone, deal with fans or the possibility of seeing Able again.
As soon as his plane touched down, and he made it through customs. He headed straight for Penny’s apartment. The rain was pouring down as he jetted out of the cab, making a mad dash into her building. Once inside, he took the stairs leading to her, two at a
time. His nifty key, got him inside, where he headed straight for her bedroom. Ripping open the door, he watched as Penny bolted up from the bed, her eyes going wide with panic before realizing, who, he was.
"Jesus Cole, you gave me a damn heart attack!" She screeched, clutching at her chest.
"Leave it off!" Cole ordered, stopping her, mid-reach as she went to flick on the lamp that sat beside her bed.
"Okay… but, what's going on?"
Cole stood there, unable to speak. He had so many things he wanted to say to her. He had made up an entire speech on the flight in, even. He wanted to yell at her, scream in her face, and maybe even push her around a bit but standing here now, he had nothing, the words just refused to come.
"Cole, are you okay?” Penny questioned, pushing off the bed to stand in front of him. His head was down, his body stiff and as she reached out for him, she could feel him trembling under her touch. “What's the matter, did something happen?!" She questioned, her voice sounding panicked.
"That's, my shirt," was all he could manage to say. It was his old college shirt, the one she had stolen years ago.
"Yeah, yeah it is…," she nodded, trying to understand his odd behavior.
As his eyes finally locked with hers, Penny took a step back. There was so much pain etched into his features, so much hurt and anger, that it had her gasping in a breath.
"Cole…, you're scaring me…," she whispered, looking up at him with worried eyes.
With one hand, he reached out, pulling her body to his, while the other gripped the back of her neck, tugging her closer until his lips slammed into hers.
For a moment, Penny’s eyes went wide before eventually fluttering shut. There was too much power in his kiss, it ripped everything from her, sending her head spinning.
He released her, for only a second. Tugging her shirt over her head or should it be said, his shirt, over her head. Penny took her chance.
"Cole, what the fuck is happening?!" She demanded, just as he pulled her back into his arms, lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist.
He didn’t bother giving her an answer, just a look.
“Okay,” she whispered the word, her brows still furrowed. She didn’t know, exactly, what she was saying yes to, Cole hadn’t asked her a question, just given her that damn look. It had Penny wanting to agree to anything that would make him stop eyeing her the way he was. So desperate, so lost looking. He was telling her a million things, but it was like, he was speaking another language.
She went to work, lifting the hem of his shirt as she pulled it off his body. She slowly slid her panties down her thighs as she watched him push off the bed, kicking off his boots before taking down his pants and boxer briefs.
Cole started with the tip of Penny’s big toe, leaving soft, needy, kisses in his wake. He kissed everywhere, foot, arch, calf, knee, thigh. His kisses were soft, delicate, even. He continued up her body, stopping for just a moment, to make her back arch as he licked up the center of her folds, swirling his tongue when he came to her clit. He didn’t stay long, though, before he was back to moving his lips, North. He kissed her pelvis, her tummy, her ribs, and her arms. Her breasts, where a detour that took him a moment to get through, before he moved up to the spot on her neck, the one he had found, and claimed, so many years ago. Next was her ear lobe then down to her jaw, until he came to lay over her, his weight feeling like a blanket made of safety. His eyes were on hers, his hand caressing her cheek.
"What's going on with you?" She questioned, not understanding the strange energy he was putting off. Not understanding the reason behind the tortured look that clouded his beautiful greens.
"I love you, Penny Lane. You know that, don’t you? I've always loved you, and I know that no matter what, I'm always gonna love you..."
“Cole, listen,”
"No, you listen. I need to know, that you know that. I'm not asking you to love me back, Penny. I'm not gonna ask you for anything, anymore. I just want you to know that I love you, okay, and I’ve never stopped, not once. No matter what I said or did or didn’t do. No matter what, there hasn’t been, a second of the day, that I wasn’t completely, and totally, in love with you.”
“What are you saying, Cole?”
“I’m saying, it was always you, who had the best parts of me, only you.”
Cole’s, desperate tone, had Penny, unable to speak. She wasn't
sure what this was all about but she knew something was happening, something was changing, or, already had. She wanted to force him, to catch her up to speed but his lips once again found hers, and the kiss he gave, had her toes curling in the sheets, at the same time a loud moan, escaped his rock hard chest.
He slipped inside her, so gently, that it hurt. His touches were so tender that they made her bones ache, his kiss, burning her skin wherever it landed. Nothing was fast, no finish line was being rushed to. He took her with care and ease, all the while whispering things Penny didn’t, fully understand, into her ear. His tone was light as a feather, yet, as heavy as a death in the family.
“I love you,” he repeated, time and again, trailing kisses down her neck. “I'm so sorry for, everything.” he apologized with slow, deep, thrusts. “I forgive you.” By the look on her face, that one, had caught Penny off guard but she didn’t have time to process it. He made sure of that. “It's gonna be okay, everything's gonna be alright, now.” He assured her, just as his hand slid up her thigh, pulling her leg higher on his hip. The action, allowed him to sink, just a little bit further, into her waiting core.
He knew all of her
bodies tricks, knew just how to work her, what angel and how fast. The kind of fucking that only comes with years of practice with the same partner up under you.
"I'm gonna fix it, I promise." His tone was honey as she clawed at his scalp. She tried to buck her hips, trying to force him to give her more, but he refused. He continued on with his slow, deep thrusts, driving her to the very edge of sanity. "I never meant for any of this to happen." He spoke the words just inches from her lips before sucking one into nibble. "I just thought I had more time, I love you, I love you, I love you, Penny Lane" His deep thrusts mirrored his every word as he rocked her in his arms, slow and steady.
"Oh fuck, Cole, I'm gonna cum!” She cried out as her entire body went hard against his.
Pressing his lips to hers, Cole swallowed down her moans, pulling her closer as her body trembled under his.
Penny got the feeling of wetness as Cole’s cheek pressed against hers but she couldn’t focus on why that was. Her eyes were rolling back in her head as he circled his hips, pumping slowly, drawing out, every last drop of her orgasm, until it peaked, into yet another one. She couldn't breathe as it rocked through her. It was even, more intense than the first had been.
Cole, for the life of him, couldn't stop the tears that slipped down his cheeks. He couldn't hold them back as his body jerked than released his soul into Penny, one, throb at a time. He was letting her go, all while clinging to her for dear life. He was setting her free, yet she had no idea the cage door was open, ripped clear off, its hinges. He knew he was shaking above her, knew he was coming undone, and that he should try to pull himself together but he couldn’t. He was, just too lost to it all. Lost with the way she cried out his name and lost to the way her body fit around his. Just absolutely lost, to her, just as he always had been.
Between a Rock and a Hard Place Page 40