“I wish I could,” she said softly.
“Why can’t you?”
“I just—” She shook her head. “I can’t, that’s all.”
He stemmed his frustration that she still wouldn’t trust him with her story. Badgering her would be unfair, but—
“Elena, do me a favor?” He waited for her to look in his direction, her lovely brow furrowed. “Don’t make that decision yet. Until you know where you want to go, let’s just not think beyond today.” He grinned and shook his head. “I’m realizing that I’ve always been looking down the road to the next film, the next step in my career, plan after plan and…” He exhaled. “Truth to tell, I’m tired. I know it sounds crazy and I might not be worth a damn at relaxing, but…I’d like to try. For today, could we say that we’ll visit the Cliff Dwellings, then see what we feel like doing after that? You know I’m headed to the Caprock, and between here and there?” He turned up one palm. “All I can say is I’d like to enjoy the trip with you, if you’d do me the honor. No strings, no hidden agenda. Believe me?”
She stared at him. Finally she nodded.
Josh breathed a sigh of relief. He did not want to simply drop her off somewhere. He had to know she’d be okay. Every mile they traveled together, he had a chance to figure out what she was running from.
And how to help her.
He wasn’t sure why helping her mattered so much.
But it did.
Chapter Six
On the path to the Cliff Dwellings, Elena was extremely aware of Josh behind her, his presence both comforting and unsettling. He was a constant hum beneath her skin, a lure she knew she should resist. They were completely unsuitable on so many levels, and he would surely laugh if he knew she entertained such a fanciful notion.
But he’d kissed her.
Only once, only quickly, but…
She’d never forget it.
Her foot caught on a stone, and she stumbled. Strong arms swept her up.
Before she could think, she tensed. Tried to get away.
Josh set her down quickly.
She braced herself for the reaction.
But all he did was steady her before he let go. “Are you all right?”
Humiliation crashed over her. He had been nothing but kind since they’d met, yet she kept making him pay for another man’s sins.
She nodded but couldn’t look up.
A warm, strong hand cradled her cheek. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you without warning you.”
Even now he didn’t lose his temper. “How did you know I—”
“Don’t like to be touched?” he asked gently.
She nodded, still looking at the ground.
“Lorie was attacked and held captive by the man who was stalking her. Before Quinn could rescue her, the sick bastard terrified her in ways that no one should experience. She couldn’t bear being touched by anyone but Quinn and her son for a long time.”
She could hear both pain and compassion in his voice. “I was her best friend, but even I had to be careful. She didn’t want to react that way, Elena.” His voice was soft and soothing, and she wanted to rub herself against him like a kitten.
“She couldn’t help how she felt. If you care about someone, you learn what makes that person feel good and avoid what hurts them.”
Her eyes burned. He was so kind, so gentle.
And she couldn’t afford how much she longed for his comfort. She was alone, and she had to stay strong. To make her way on her own, whether she went back to Mesa Roja or not.
And if she did go back, she couldn’t drag Josh into her nightmare. She was almost certain he would come, if she asked. So she would pull away, though the need to lean was strong. She resumed her climb, but the sunshine had gone out of the day.
When she didn’t hear him follow, she looked back.
Josh stood where she’d left him, his beautiful green gaze searching hers.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and turned away.
She heard him come up behind her. “It’s all right, sweetheart. Just relax. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
Her throat swelled with the tears jammed up inside. Her heart ached with the need to give in.
Instead she began to walk again.
When they reached the Cliff Dwellings, she looked around at the very simple openings cut into the mountain. Eight hundred years ago, people had lived here, died here…given birth here. So simple, yet so hard.
She had no right to feel sorry about her lot. She’d endured, and she’d escaped. If she had no idea what her next step should be, at least she was alive to take it.
“Elena, look,” Josh whispered.
She understood the urge to silence. This was a holy place. Quiet lay all around, suffused with a pervasive sense of history. She almost felt that she could hear the rustle of their spirits, these people who’d lived here so long ago.
She reached his side where he stood near the edge, looking down an impossible height.
“Look.” He pointed. “They had a perfect vantage point from which to see anyone coming this way long before they themselves could be seen.”
She gazed down the endless rock cliff, noting the path they’d ascended winding in and out of the trees. The little valley had a stream for their water supply, as well.
These people had faced dangers she couldn’t imagine, yet they had had the courage to continue bearing children and carving a place in the world.
“They were so brave,” she murmured.
He looked down at her. “You can only do your best with what life gives you.” His eyes seemed to burn a message into hers. “Sometimes the greatest courage is just to keep trying, day after day.”
She wanted to tell him how confused and uncertain and scared she was, but she knew that if he offered his comfort and help, she’d be terribly tempted to take it. The coil she was in was hers to untangle, and it was both dangerous and complicated.
Just as Richard was dangerous and complicated.
So instead of baring her soul as she longed to do, she walked away and sat on a rock, removing her beloved hat. She scanned the horizon and listened to the murmurs of hundreds of years.
“New Mexico is such a magical place,” Josh spoke softly behind her. “I don’t know why that is, but every time I’m here, I feel it.”
He spoke her own thoughts so exactly that she turned to him in wonder. “I do, too.” She looked away, trying to put her feelings into words. “I almost feel like my soul is expanding. As if my spirit could fly if I let it.” She let her head sag back as she leaned on her hands. She welcomed the kiss of the sun, the benediction of the breeze, as she soaked in the peace, the echoes of time.
Josh settled beside her on the ground. “You deserve some peace,” he murmured. “Let go, sweetheart. Just…rest.” His fingers sifted lightly through the ends of her hair as it fell across her back.
If she stayed very still and concentrated only on his feather-light touch, maybe she could drown the memories of the disaster that was her life.
For just this one moment, she’d suspend her hold on time, and let her spirit free to wander. Let go and feel the timelessness of the universe, lost in the magic of Josh’s fingers tenderly stroking the tips of her hair.
Let go…
She closed her eyes and drifted…
“My lady, who are these brutes?” her maid screamed.
Lady Helen Douglas, daughter of Sir William, named Knight of Liddesdale by King David II of Scotland, paused in her scanning of the forest around them to comfort the older woman. She fought for her own calm. She couldn’t tell how much of her guard remained to protect her. She’d seen the captain of her guard fall, vanquished by a blow to the head. Looking around, she hoped to see a friendly face.
“My lady, I hae such a fright.”
“Sh-h, Anna, come with me—quickly!” Grabbing her skirts so she could run, Helen suspected her best option was to sink deeper into the forest. Her heart pounded wi
th the knowledge that these men meant to capture her, regardless of the cost.
Behind her, the sounds of men screaming in pain topped the thudding of horses’ hooves and the scrape of metal against metal. Her head ached with the onset of a familiar and unwelcome sensation.
“Not now,” she moaned, struggling to clear her sight. It was no use. The darkness came, and with it the blinding light of another vision.
“My lady? Oh, no, my lady, the Sight shouldnae visit ye now. Come with me,” Anna soothed, drawing her behind a tree as Helen felt the world slip away.
Her head swam with pain and anguish as a face appeared before her. Dark brown hair and green eyes, a proud nose and generous lips. A smile of blinding beauty—becoming agony as a dagger was buried in his back.
Who was this man? Even as her mind recoiled from the horror, her heart strove to meet him. Already, the vision faded, leaving behind the familiar nausea, this time with a taste of sorrow and longing.
Heavy footfalls in the underbrush sounded the alarm. Struggling to clear her head, she fought her way to her feet, swaying in the arms of her maid. Frantically she looked around for the best route.
The light was blocked out by a huge form whose shaggy head and massive shoulders dwarfed her. Fetid breath and the acrid smell of blood swamped the air. She sank away from its stench, struggling against panic. She stepped back to turn and flee—
“Too late, Lady Helen. Sir Richard wishes the pleasure of your company. Come with me.”
His tone said pleasure had nothing to do with this. She knew it was useless but fought anyway, using nails and teeth and feet, anything handy. She groped for the dagger attached to her belt, as she was hauled up against a rock-hard chest and cuffed so hard, her eyesight blurred.
“It will go worse for your people if you fight us, Lady Helen. Do not be foolish. My orders are only that you be alive. It is not necessary that anyone else survive. Be still, or I will kill them all.”
Another blow ensured that Helen heard nothing else.
“Elena, can you hear me? Are you all right, sweetheart?” The voice sounded very far away.
And very worried.
Elena blinked, trying to figure out where she was. A man’s face hovered over hers, green eyes dark with concern. She was draped across his lap, cradled in one arm as the other hand stroked her face.
But his face…it was almost as if he had a shadow. Another face that shimmered behind his.
What on earth? She shook her head to clear her sight. Dread filled her, and she didn’t know why. A silvery fish of memory flitted away before she could grasp it.
Danger.
But where? Why did she—?
Then she remembered.
Richard. He would be hunting her. She jolted to her feet. Wobbled and almost fell.
“Hey, it’s okay, Elena. It’s just me, Josh. Don’t stand up too quickly. You passed out for a few minutes. I’m going to carry you down and take you to a doctor.”
“No! No doctor,” she pleaded. “I’m—I’m all right, Josh. I—I can walk down. You don’t have to carry me.” Babbling in her confusion and terror, she turned too quickly and lost her balance again.
Josh swept her up in his arms and backed into the cool shade beneath a tree. “You’re not going anywhere. You sit right here and tell me why you’re so scared. As soon as you’re steady, we’re going back down and—”
“No doctor,” she interrupted. “I’m fine. I just need some time.”
“You need more than that, but we’ll start with rest. More food. The altitude can make you dizzy and light-headed, you know. It can monkey with your blood sugar, even for someone who’s not half-starved.”
“I’m not—”
“You are so thin it scares the hell out of me. Now please…let me take care of you.” He paused. “No obligation. No price tag. Just until you’re steady, all right?”
She fell silent, at war with herself over what she should do and what she wanted. Maybe he was right. Surely Richard could be nowhere nearby. He should be many miles back in Arizona. Maybe it was just the altitude, but she’d had the strangest feeling she’d seen…
That face…
Maybe she did need to eat.
Or maybe she was crazy.
She shook her head. This place made her imagination run wild.
“Okay,” she conceded. “But I can walk by myself.”
Josh’s grin warred with the worry in his eyes. He tightened his arms around her. “We’ll see about that. For now, I’ll be right beside you.”
Dread warred with delight as they turned to leave.
She had no idea why Richard suddenly seemed so near and menacing, or why she felt such fear and dread for Josh.
But she did. For whatever reason, she was bone-deep scared.
Chapter Seven
Carmen Zaragosa lingered in the grocery store, pretending to examine the recipe on the back of a box of cake mix.
Elena was late.
She was never late. That bastard Richard Kruger was far too fond of his stomach, so he made sure Elena got to the grocery store at the same time every week.
The rest of the time, he kept her all but a prisoner out on that ranch he was so proud of.
“Are you all right?” asked a man searching the boxes of brownie mix to her right.
Carmen glanced over. “Sure.” She jammed the box back into its spot and turned on her heel.
“’Cause you’ve read that label for a long time,” the man observed.
“What business is it of yours?” she snapped. Then she spotted the badge attached to his shirt.
He caught the direction of her gaze. “I’m not here on official business.” He pointed to his cart, which was full of man food—chips, salsa, lunch meat, beer, bread. “I’m Greg Blackwell. I’m new in town.”
Mesa Roja was small, and she knew everyone. She’d never seen this guy before. “A cop.”
“Deputy sheriff, to be exact.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Well, good luck with that.”
His own went sharp. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing. Look, I have to go.” She scanned the store for Elena, who had still not appeared.
“You have a name?”
“Am I under arrest?”
Annoyance cracked his friendly manner. “Should you be?” He sighed. “Look, I’ve been on the job a week. I don’t know anyone in town. I’m just trying to be friendly. Get to know the people I serve.”
She snorted. “Yeah, right.”
He recoiled. “What does that mean?”
“Just that the sheriff’s office…” Sheriff Carlson was very…discriminating about where he put his resources. Which mostly meant to the benefit of Richard Kruger and his interests. “Never mind.”
“You want to finish that thought?”
She had a quick glimpse of a sharp mind behind the affable demeanor.
He won’t last long.
But she had bigger fish to fry. Where on earth was Elena? She hadn’t spoken to her friend since she’d gotten in last night, but that wasn’t unusual. Richard kept Elena on a very short leash, and that included phone calls.
And he didn’t like Carmen.
Funny, that. Feeling’s mutual, creep.
For the life of her, Carmen could not understand why her childhood friend refused to even consider leaving her husband. Carmen had urged Elena many times to do so, but each time, Elena simply dug in her heels.
What had happened to the girl who’d run wild over the ranch with her, back when Carmen’s father had been the foreman of the Navarro ranch? They’d had such good times, all the way through high school.
Then Carmen had left for college, and Elena had stayed to help her dad, not that he deserved it. After Elena’s mother abandoned them, he all but abandoned his daughter, too.
But Elena stayed to care for the land, while Carmen went out into the world.
And somehow, while Carmen was away, Elena had fallen for Richard Kruger. Oh, h
e was good-looking enough, she supposed, and he’d bought land adjoining the Navarro ranch, so there was all that expanding-the-kingdom kind of thing that Elena’s father would have loved. He’d never had a son, so maybe he’d found one in Kruger.
Elena had certainly seemed happy at first, and Carmen had gone back to her life, craving the wide world outside Arizona. But then Carmen’s father had died, and she’d come home to help her mother, only to find Elena irrevocably changed.
Her clothing was designer, and she was made up like a fashion model at all times. She had little to do with the townspeople, and the daredevil playmate Carmen had treasured had vanished completely.
She had turned into a Stepford wife.
Carmen could never see bruises on Elena, but Elena had never been one for wearing revealing clothing.
She had bruises on her soul, though, of that Carmen would bet everything she owned. But every time Carmen tried to talk to her, to urge her to leave the life that clearly didn’t make her happy, Elena clammed up.
Richard or his scary Mrs. Danvers housekeeper always answered the phone, and messages from Carmen were never acknowledged, so Elena probably didn’t get them. Over time, Carmen had begun to think that her friend was all but a prisoner.
So Carmen saw Elena on one day of the week—same time, same day every single week. Best she could tell, she was Elena’s only friend now. When Elena’s father had been dying, the shell around her had cracked a little, and Carmen could see the anguished woman inside. She had one chance every week to show Elena she was not completely alone, so that’s what she did.
But now…Elena hadn’t shown.
And Carmen was worried.
“Hey, you sure you’re okay?”
She’d forgotten the deputy was standing there. He seemed genuinely nice. She wished that would turn out to be true. Wished she could trust him enough to see if he would help.
But he worked for a man who turned a blind eye to Richard Kruger, the man who owned at least part of most of the businesses in town and thereby the incomes of many of the residents.
“I’m fine. Welcome to Mesa Roja.” She turned to go, frantically trying to figure out how to know if Elena was all right.
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