One hand buried itself in her hair, his grip tightening as his mouth plundered and his body pressed against her. When she heard the moan, she no longer knew if it came from her or from him. Elena only knew that she needed, that she wanted. Edgy and hungry, she writhed against him with mounting greed.
Josh had never been so lost, so far, so fast. He’d only meant to comfort Elena, but he was honest enough to admit that he’d gone way beyond comfort now.
Blinding, brain-searing lust held him fast in its grip. It took every ounce of control not to take her, here and now. Only the thin veneer of civilization restrained him from yanking back the covers. He fought not to rend the soft cotton shirt posing one last thin barrier between her and his urge to devour.
She felt so right in his arms, so soft and fragile. With one last conscious thread of control, he pulled himself back from the vortex, the dark, seductive abyss where desire met with mindless greed. It would be easy, so very easy to forget, to drown in her sweetness. To fan the flame of the need he felt burning in answer to his own.
Oh, yes indeed, she was sensual. Passionate and, sweet heaven, greedy. He wanted desperately to bury himself within this sweet, soft, vulnerable woman who called to him like a light from the shore of a dark, storm-tossed sea.
He barely knew her, yet…
Had he ever lost himself like this in a woman?
The answer was no. It didn’t matter how little he knew about her or how little sense it all made. He didn’t care that he’d just met her and would have to leave her soon. Or that she might leave first.
No. He wouldn’t let her. She’d be here, dammit, if he had to—
What the hell? Josh was stunned, realizing how thin was the veneer over his most basic and savage inner core. He was nothing like the easygoing Josh everyone knew.
It shook him, how close to the bone she drove him.
He forced his head back and closed his eyes, struggling for breath. For sanity.
With only tiny fibers of control left, Josh reminded himself that this was a woman who’d been hurt, and hurt deeply. Her need might call to his own at a soul-deep level, but she needed healing first.
Barely he managed to draw away.
And Elena mourned the loss of him.
Though it was no more than she had expected. No different than Richard would have predicted. His retreat was only reasonable, considering how very far apart their worlds were, hers and Josh’s.
But it hurt. She hurt. And couldn’t stem a little gasp of pain.
Which Josh misunderstood.
He cupped his hand over her cheek and searched her eyes, apology foremost in his own. “I’m sorry, Elena,” he began. “I—”
“Don’t.” She didn’t let him finish, desperate not to hear that he’d thought better of his impulse. With one finger, she quieted his lips, even as the tears formed in her eyes. “Please just…don’t,” she whispered.
Thoroughly miserable and utterly confused, she rolled away, saddened by the knowledge that she was too damaged, that she would never be woman enough for him. She curled her body like a shell, leaving Josh, tense and worried, at her back.
He held his hand just above her shoulder, uncertain. For a long moment, they formed a tableau: the woman, hurt and vulnerable…
And the man who’d made it worse.
With one long sigh, Josh retracted his hand, very slowly. Head drooping in despair, he arose from her bed and moved to his own.
Neither slept, as the silence shimmered with pain.
Chapter Nine
Josh had planned to surprise her with her new clothes this morning, but if he wanted a snowball’s chance in hell of her accepting them, now wasn’t the time.
He watched her, but she never looked at him as she shuffled quietly around the room, getting dressed.
“Elena…” he began.
She looked up, then quickly away. But in that instant, he saw the damage he’d done. He saw her struggle to cover the hurt with a layer of indifference, but for a woman as fragile and damaged as this one, a solid shell was a tough commodity to find. He reminded himself that he was just passing through her life, that he didn’t need to get too involved.
But that only made him feel worse.
“I’ll be fine, Josh.” She answered in a flat voice from the doorway. “I’ll wait by the car.”
He cursed under his breath, then nodded, but there was no one left to see it. She’d already left the room.
He finished shaving and gathered up his things quickly, then strode across to the window to make sure she was all right.
He couldn’t see her anywhere.
“Elena,” he bellowed out the door, feeling the first stirrings of a deep, cold fear. “Elena, where are you? Come back!”
No answer.
He threw his stuff in the back seat and leaped into the car, tires squealing as he backed out. The car shot forward as he scanned the surrounding area, his heart pounding with dread. All pretense that she meant nothing flew right out the window.
How could he protect her when he couldn’t find her? How would he ever track her down? He knew nothing but her first name.
He didn’t even know how close she was to the danger she’d fled.
“I’ll keep my hands off you, I swear,” he muttered. “Just let me find you in one piece.”
A movement in the parking lot of the cafe two doors down caught his eye. He saw the flash of one slender leg, climbing into the cab of a semi. He sped his car across the intervening parking lots, screeching to a halt right in front of the truck.
He vaulted out, rounding the side of the cab and hauling himself up in one quick move to peer into the passenger window.
Elena’s eyes widened at the sight of him.
Her companion yelled. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, bud?”
Josh yanked open the door and grabbed Elena, leaping down to the ground with her in his arms. He reached back to grab her purse and the sack she’d carried, looking up at the driver. “I’m claiming my woman,” he spoke. “Wanna do something about it?”
The man’s eyes narrowed as he chewed angrily on his toothpick. He glanced over at Elena. “He right? You don’t have to go with him, you know.”
Josh felt Elena tense, then she began to squirm. In a tone pitched too low for the other man to hear, he warned, “Tell him it’s all right, Elena.” At her mutinous look, he pulled out all the stops. “Goddammit, you owe me.”
She let out a long sigh. She looked at the driver. “Just a little misunderstanding. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“You sure, little lady?” The man’s brow wrinkled.
Elena took far too long in answering for Josh’s comfort. He tightened his arms around her, holding his breath.
Finally, she nodded. “Yes, I’m sure.”
The driver reached over to close the door. “You’d better be on the up-and-up, buddy. What’s your name?”
Josh turned to spout off at him, and the driver’s gaze narrowed. “Holy cow, you’re Josh Marshall, aren’t you?”
Josh muttered under his breath, “Oh, hell, not now.” But to the driver, he answered, “Yeah, that’s right.”
The driver chortled. “Wait ’til I get on the horn and tell the other guys that Josh Marshall’s woman gives him trouble, too.” He slapped his thigh in glee.
While he tried to figure out what to say, Elena came to his rescue. “Oh, but the makeup sex is wonderful,” she cooed.
It was all Josh could do to mask his astonishment.
The driver broke up laughing at that remark. He was still chuckling and shaking his head as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“You can put me down now,” Elena said, neutrally.
He stared into her eyes. “Do I dare?”
She looked away. “It would be better if you just let me leave.”
“Better for whom, Elena?” He restrained the anger that had boiled up from his fear once he knew she was safe.
“You don’t need the
complications,” she protested. “You have another life to live, and I—”
“You are not leaving me like this, is that clear?” He blew out a gust of dismay and looked away, shocked by the depth of his emotions. “I have to be sure you’re all right. We have to talk. You need my help.”
“You don’t know what I need,” she snapped. “Now please put me down.”
Well, this was a new Elena. Suspicious, he set her down, tensing as he waited to see what she’d do.
She…snickered. Not exactly the reaction he’d expected.
Her eyes danced, and he followed her gaze down to the ground.
At his bare feet.
“Sorry.” A giggle burst from her. “It’s just that you look so—” Her shoulders shook as a chuckle escaped.
He’d been so frantic to find her that he never even noticed that he hadn’t put on shoes yet.
Her laughter was beautiful. And contagious. After all the tension and worry, all the opposing needs they each had, humor cleared the air like nothing else ever could have.
“God, you have a beautiful smile.”
Suddenly self-conscious, she dropped her head.
“Elena,” he asked gently. “Why don’t you think you deserve to be happy?”
She was startled. “I don’t think that,” she insisted. But he was right, she realized. Somehow she’d come to believe that happiness was for others. She’d learned to take each moment one at a time, assuming nothing. Grateful when calm prevailed.
Happiness had been too much to hope for.
“Listen, let’s make a deal,” Josh proposed.
Her amusement returned, though how it could after the disaster of last night, she had no idea.
But she went with it. “Careful, now. I could get better at negotiating if you keep giving me so much practice.”
He had the grace to flush. He shrugged his shoulders, using those mysterious green eyes to hold her in place. “This one won’t cost you anything.”
“Oh?” Intrigued, she waited.
“Okay, my deal is this: you promise to relax and just let yourself have fun without worrying that somehow you’ll be penalized for it. My part of the deal is that I’ll take responsibility for safeguarding you. You don’t have to watch your back because I’ll do it for you.” He leaned closer. “And I’m very observant. I won’t drop the ball.”
How did he know that she always feared the price she would pay for relaxing? Experience had taught her to always be on her guard. Richard’s moods were mercurial; a smile could turn to anger in the blink of an eye, and it was worse when he drank. She’d learned long ago that there was always a price to pay for lack of vigilance.
“I don’t know if I can,” she answered honestly.
“I’m going to take you someplace where you won’t be able to help having fun,” he promised.
“Where’s that?”
“Ever been to White Sands?”
She shook her head.
“Well, here’s the plan—speak up if you don’t like it, okay?”
She nodded.
“I’m starving, but I also need to stop at a drugstore. I’m almost out of shaving cream. So how ’bout we head right on into this fine establishment and take in a little sustenance, then hit the drugstore on the way out of town for White Sands? There’s no hurry to get there because it’s too hot until near sundown.”
“Too hot to do what?”
“You’ll see.”
Elena resisted a little shiver of worry. This was her first test, to give him a chance to show her how to have fun. She hadn’t known Josh long, but he’d gone out of his way to be considerate and fair.
She’d been his last night for the taking, but he hadn’t.
For which she tried to be grateful.
Uh-huh. You’ll wonder forever what it would have been like.
No, she wouldn’t. She already knew it would be spectacular beyond her most vivid imaginings. But then she would want more, and she couldn’t have it. He was not meant for someone like her.
Anyway, building a life with another man was the last thing she needed until she’d built the new Elena.
Gee, getting ahead of yourself much? She could only shake her head at the flights of fancy.
She dragged herself back to the conversation. “Deal,” she said, holding out her hand for a shake.
Placing his larger hand over hers, Josh began to pull her toward him. “I think we’ve moved past handshakes, sweetheart.” His gaze warmed as he lowered his head toward her. “I can watch your back better if I’m real, real close.” His mischievous grin gleamed, unrepentant.
She stood her ground, though inwardly trembling, less from fear than anticipation.
He bent to her. “I didn’t stop last night because I wanted to. You can trust me, I swear.” When she didn’t resist, his warm, tempting lips touched hers.
And, pipe dream or not, Elena let go of fear and embraced anticipation. When she leaned into his kiss, he growled deep in his throat. The hand that held hers tightened its grip, while the other one came up behind her head, wrapping strong fingers on the back of her neck and bringing her closer still.
And she was lost in wonder.
This was a man who knew how to kiss.
Don’t think about how much he’s practiced. Worry began, that he might compare her to all those others and find her wanting.
“Stop thinking and kiss me back.” The hand on her neck relaxed just a little, giving her the choice.
Too many tests lay within this one kiss. Could she take it casually? Could she survive the inevitable goodbye? Could she hold onto herself, even after he left?
She’d taken a big first step by escaping Richard. Surely this would be easier.
Elena took the leap and opened herself to Josh’s devastating skill. He rumbled his approval.
Then she let herself be swept away in the magic of his kiss.
Tiny shivers of desire lapped in waves just under the surface of her skin as Josh tantalized every nerve. With only the barest touch of his tongue tracing the contours of her lips, licking at the tender corners, he stole her will as surely as any thief.
But the thief himself did not escape retribution. Josh could not believe that, yet again, he was being sucked into the undertow of something so powerful, so unexpected. Last night’s kisses had shaken him. This one stirred him just as deeply, in a wholly different way. He admired Elena’s courage, and that admiration gentled his response. He managed to keep a grip on the violent need.
He didn’t want to give her any reason not to trust him, whatever was required. He wanted to add his strength to hers, not weaken her. Whatever she was running from, he sensed the brittleness of her resolve. She was fighting bravely to hold onto her commitment, but he could tell that it cost her.
So he would hold on, as best he could, to his own feelings, and fight to manage his desire. If who he was or what he had could help her, then he’d be there for her. He admired this brave, fragile woman. He didn’t even know exactly what troubles she bore, but he knew one thing: he didn’t want to leave her yet.
As Elena clung to him sweetly, Josh reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead against hers as he fought to regain his balance.
“Sweet, sweet Elena,” he murmured. He kissed her forehead, then the tip of her nose. Twining one long, dark lock of her hair around his finger, he gripped the hand he held more tightly and kissed her soft, smooth cheek. “I wish I hadn’t promised to feed you. Think we could live on kisses?”
His reward came in the twinkling of her velvet brown eyes, still soft and unfocused. Her smile of hesitant delight.
His own lips curved in answer.
Then his blasted stomach grumbled, and Elena giggled.
“I don’t think your stomach likes the idea.”
One more quick kiss upon her lips, then he tucked her under his arm and began walking toward the car. “I guess not,” he sighed. “More’s the pity.”
Elena paused beside the book r
ack in the drugstore as she waited for Josh to make his purchases. She picked up a paperback romance by one of her favorite authors, opened it to the beginning and read.
“I’m not in a hurry,” Josh said from behind her. “Take your time.”
Startled, she flipped the book closed and lowered it, wondering if he’d make fun of her choice of reading material. Richard had banned them, called them ridiculous.
But Josh only grinned. “A romantic. I like that in a woman.”
“I admire the heroines,” she felt the need to explain. “Sometimes they made me feel—never mind.”
“Feel what?”
She shook her head.
“I’d really like to know, if you don’t mind telling.” A quick glance showed that his gaze held no judgment, only interest. “Trying to engender strong emotions in an audience is my life.” When she frowned, he bent to look in her eyes. “Seriously.”
She squirmed a little before going on. “The women in these books encounter a lot of challenges and are forced to bear the unbearable at times. But they don’t give in, and they don’t expect anyone else to save them. They may fall in love with the hero, but they expect to play an active part in saving themselves.” She shrugged self-consciously. “That probably sounds silly.”
“Nope, it sounds admirable. Is the hero prohibited from helping them at all?”
“No. That’s what a hero is all about, right? Being there for you when you need him? But these women don’t just swoon and expect him to save the day.”
“But sometimes a man wants to save the day.” His expression was serious.
“Sometimes there’s no hero around.” She looked down at her feet. “Sometimes she has to find a way to save herself.”
He stroked one cheek with his finger, and she leaned toward the touch like a flower to the sun. “But there’s no rule that says she can’t accept help if it’s offered, is there?”
She looked up. Met his warm, tender gaze. “There’s no rule. She just doesn’t want to be a coward.”
“I don’t see any cowards here, Elena.”
The Marshalls Boxed Set (Texas Heroes: The Marshalls Books 1-3) Page 32