‘It’s called being cool,’ Zak snapped back.
‘It’s called being stupid,’ I sniped.
‘OK, you two, that’s enough,’ said Dad. ‘We’re not here to start World War Three. We’ve got a film star and an elephant to rescue. Where’s the lorry, Zak?’
My brother (the zombie one) pointed to the largest warehouse, a crumbling wreck of a building in the far corner of the trade park. It was mostly made of corrugated iron, with a few dirt-smudged windows and big, sliding doors.
‘The lorry is behind there. It’s empty. We saw the back open and took a peek inside.’
Dad nodded. Batpants tried to climb up him and suck his ear but Dad wasn’t in the mood. He’d gone very serious which meant he was thinking hard.
Zak screwed up his nose, which meant he was thinking too. He does that sometimes – I mean think. He does have a brain somewhere. It’s just that it doesn’t get used a lot, probably because so much of it is taken up with thinking about GIRLS.
‘Packeederm Removals,’ he murmured. ‘It’s a funny name for a removal company. It’s almost as if the kidnappers wanted us to find them.’
Dad turned sharply. ‘Really? You think so? Why would they want us to find them?’
Zak shrugged. ‘I don’t know. It just feels odd.’
Dad nodded and told us he was going to take a look at the building more closely and then report back to us. We watched him zig-zag across to the warehouse, keeping by the fence so he was less likely to be seen.
India gazed at Zak with sparkling eyes. ‘Zak’s always thinking of something,’ she said, with stomach-churning admiration.
‘I bet he is,’ I muttered, and Mum nudged me hard with her elbow.
‘You wait till you’re his age,’ she smiled. I took a step back and fixed my mum with my stoniest stare.
‘I can tell you now, Mother, that when I am Zak’s age I will NOT be looking for a SNOG with a BOY, or anyone else for that matter, thank you very much.’
Did that have the effect on Mum that I wanted? No. It only made her burst out laughing. Parents. Huh. Will they EVER understand? Probably not.
We waited in silence until Dad came back.
‘There’s a door at the back which is loose. I think I can force it open. I’ll go in first and if it’s safe you can follow.’
‘What about Batpants?’ Mum asked. We looked at the orang-utan. She returned our gaze and calmly picked her nose.
‘I’m not sure she’s going to be much help,’ Mum sighed.
‘We can’t leave her outside,’ I said.
‘We can’t take her inside,’ Zak argued. ‘She could give us away. One hoot from her and we’re done for. We don’t know what might be inside.’
Batpants looked at Zak and put a big hairy hand across her mouth, just as if she was saying: ‘I’ll keep my big mouth shut’.
India solved the problem. ‘I’ll take her in with me and if she gives us any trouble I’ll bring her out again.’
Zak was worried. ‘I don’t want you getting into danger,’ he said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. He’s so sweet, isn’t he? NOT!
‘Zak? Excuse me – there are several other people here,’ I pointed out. ‘What about your poor little sister and even smaller little brother? Aren’t you worried about them?’
‘No.’
Was I gobsmacked? Not in the least. That’s Zak for you. Huh.
‘Look,’ Zak went on. ‘If anyone sees you, Tilly, they’ll die of fright on the spot. And they won’t bother with Finn because he’s just a small kid.’
‘No I’m not!’ cried Finn. ‘I’m almost eight.’
‘Finn, you won’t be eight for another eleven months – that’s almost a whole year,’ said Zak.
Finn was about to protest but Dad held up his hand.
‘Any more arguments from you three and we shall have to go straight home. Are we going to rescue Manley and Fudge, or not?’
‘Rescue!’ Finn and I chorused.
‘I don’t mind rescuing Fudge,’ muttered Zak. Obviously he wasn’t too worried about gorgeous hunk, Manley Strutt. Dad ignored him.
‘Good, no more talking then.’
‘Yeah, taisez-vous,’ I added.
Dad eyeballed a warning at me. ‘Follow me,’ he growled.
Bit by bit we made our way towards the warehouse, edged behind it, and there was the big yellow removals lorry. I studied the name on the side. Packeederm Removals. Maybe Zak was right. It was an odd name for a removals company. Rats. I hate it when Zak’s right.
The door that Dad had found was small and battered and made of metal. It looked as if an army had taken turns at trying to kick it down. It squeaked horribly as Dad pushed his weight against it and then it grated open. Batpants gave a low moan, but India quickly put her hand over the ape’s mouth and she stopped. We listened for any sounds from inside but all was quiet.
‘Wait here,’ Dad whispered. ‘I’ll come back for you if it’s safe.’ He vanished inside.
We stood out there by the door for what seemed like ages, our ears straining for the least little sound. Our eyes kept flicking round the deserted trade park in case someone came, or a car arrived. We were keeping watch and worrying about Dad. He was taking such a long time. I had the strangest feeling that it was like being in a film; that it wasn’t real at all.
But it was. It was only too real. A storm of noise burst from inside the warehouse. Shouts and running steps. Things crashing over, yells and thuds, bangs. Somebody cried out. Then slowly the noise lessened and all went quiet again.
We looked at each other. Now we were facing a disaster of mega proportions. We had lost our leader. I glanced at the others. We must have looked like a bunch of ghosts – everyone had turned white. My heart was almost falling out of my mouth. The silence crushed us, pressing in like a huge weight. Even Batpants look scared. She was hiding behind India and trying to make herself look small and invisible, which is pretty difficult if you’re a large, orange, hairy ape.
‘Mum, what do we do?’ I croaked. ‘The kidnappers must have got Dad. He’s not coming back, is he?’
Mum threw her arms round Finn and me. ‘No, darling. He’s not coming back. It’s up to us now.’
‘We’ll have to go in after him,’ Zak announced grimly, flicking back his hair for added effect. Mum nodded.
‘I’ll lead the way,’ she said. ‘If we run into trouble the best thing we can do is to split up. We should all run in different directions. The kidnappers will never be able to chase all of us, so at least one of us will escape. Whoever escapes, go to the police.’
‘Why don’t we ring the police now?’ asked Finn, clinging on to Mum’s left leg.
‘It’s too dangerous. The kidnappers said if we call the police they will harm Manley, or Fudge, or your father, or even all of them. We don’t go to the police until we absolutely have to. If we can get them freed without the police it will be much better. Keep quiet, keep out of sight, and if we get rumbled, run for it.’
‘I knew you should have let me bring my Mega-Zonic-Ray-Gun,’ Finn complained.
Mum gave him a brief smile then pushed her way through the door, quickly followed by Zak, India and Batpants. I grabbed Finn’s hand and held it tightly.
‘Ow,’ he squirmed.
‘Taisez-vous!’ I hissed back and pulled him in after me, heart pounding.
9. All About Thursday
It took several seconds to get used to the dark. Batpants flung one arm round my left leg and clung to me. She was also hanging on to India with her other arm, so basically it was almost impossible to walk. We shuffled along with the orang-utan between us, making little moany noises.
‘Mmmm-ooooo-eeeem-eeem-eeeeeemmmm!’
The ape was slowing us down. We couldn’t call after the others and soon they had disappeared up ahead. Once we lost sight of them we didn’t know which way to turn. They could have gone anywhere. A shiver of fear grabbed my spine. Batpants clutched my leg even more tightly.
/>
‘Oooooooo-eeee-oooooo-eeee!’
‘Shh,’ I hissed at her. ‘Will you please stop sounding as if you want to go to the toilet.’
Batpants didn’t like being told off. She slowly turned her head towards me, puffed up her cheeks, pressed her lips together and went: Pfffff! That was her way of showing me she wanted to shoot tomatoes at me!
The warehouse was full of ancient bits of equipment and giant packing cases piled up into higgledy-piggledy mountains. Shafts of light streamed down through a scattering of dusty roof windows. It all made for a pretty spooky place, full of dark corners where anything might hide, waiting to pounce.
And then we saw Dad, and Manley, and Fudge – AND THE KIDNAPPERS! They were all in a clearing in the centre of the warehouse.
Dad and Manley were tied to chairs. They had socks stuffed into their mouths. And they looked really uncomfortable. Dad was struggling angrily as one of the gang tightened the ropes that bound him to the chair. Fudge had a rope looped around one leg, with the other end attached to a rusty iron pillar supporting some kind of platform above. Keeping watch over them were four thugs, big burly men, with bulging muscles, and balaclavas pulled over their faces.
I can tell you my stomach was doing somersaults. This was bad – really, deeply BAD. I whispered to India. ‘What do we do now?’
She shook her head. So did Batpants. She moaned again and looked at me accusingly as if to say: ‘Why have you brought me to this horrible, dark, dangerous place?’
‘We’d better try to find the others,’ I suggested.
India nodded and we stared around, trying to decide which way would be best. Should we go to the left or the right?
‘Left,’ said India, just as I whispered, ‘Right’. So that was a good start.
‘OK, make it left,’ I agreed, just as India said, ‘Right is fine with me.’
In the end it was Batpants who made the decision for us. She suddenly opened her mouth and howled with despair.
Have you ever heard an orang-utan howl? When they are in their native jungle in Borneo you can hear their howls from miles away. The noise travels that far. Miles! IT IS VERY LOUD! And now Batpants opened her mouth to the heavens.
‘HOOOOOOOO-WAAAAAA-HOOOOOO-WAAAAAAAAA!!!’
The guards spun round and stared straight at us. One of them reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun. A GUN! I saw Dad try to get to his feet, but of course he couldn’t.
‘Run for it!’ I yelled. India went crashing off one way, while I did the same but in the opposite direction, banging into boxes, tripping over things, heart hammering and feeling more scared than a mouse stuck in a snake pit. Behind me I could hear Batpants howling and crashing away too.
I pushed my way into a narrow space between two piles of crates and hid. I felt SO alone, as if the whole world was after me. I took deep breaths to calm myself down. Noises came from every direction. The gang had spread out and were shouting instructions to each other.
‘You go that way!’
‘I am! Take a look in that corner. I saw something move.’
‘Why don’t we all shut up and listen? They’re bound to give themselves away.’
‘Just find them!’ someone yelled really angrily, right next to me. I jumped a mile. It was probably the boss-man, and he was just the other side of the packing cases that were hiding me.
Suddenly there was a lot of scuffling and a triumphant cry from the other side of the warehouse.
‘I’ve got one!’
I peered round the corner just in time to see a fat man dragging India out into the open.
‘Let me go, you filthy moron!’ she screamed. Wow! That made a change from ‘poppet’ and ‘sweety-pie’! She was trying to kick at his legs and even got in one or two, but he threw her on to her back, grabbed her by an ankle and dragged her across to Dad and Manley.
Fudge was getting pretty upset and tugging at her rope. She didn’t like to see her best pal India treated badly. But the elephant was tied to the iron pole and all she could do was make it shake a bit.
That was when I spotted Mum.
SHE WAS WALKING ALONG A ROOF BEAM, MILES ABOVE THE GROUND!
I’ve no idea how she got up there. She must have climbed up somewhere and now it looked like she was a mile high, balancing on a tiny metal beam, half running, half walking. No wonder she’s the world’s best stuntwoman. She made it look so easy. If I’d been up there I would have frozen with fear. I’m not very good with heights.
I held my breath. Suppose she fell? Suppose she was spotted? My heart was in my mouth. No – actually I think it had fallen right out of my mouth. One kidnapper had a gun. Maybe the others had them too. If the gang saw where she was, it would be curtains for her. I was so scared and proud – what a ridiculous feeling! My mum is the bravest person in the whole world and I wanted to be up there too, no matter how scared I was.
I had to think. Who was left? It was up to Mum, me, Zak, Finn and Batpants. Well, the last two wouldn’t be any use, so really it was down to Mum, Zak and me. I stared across at the huddled prisoners, where the gang were now tying India to a chair too, while Fudge carried on tugging and pulling at her rope, stamping her feet, flapping her ears and trumpeting. She was really fed up with those kidnappers!
I was thinking maybe I should slip out and get the police, but Mum and Zak would need my help. Besides, I reckoned I might be able to work my way round behind the gang and their row of prisoners. If I could get to Fudge maybe I could set her free. That would cause havoc, for sure!
I took a deep breath and edged out of my hiding place. I was so tense I thought I’d snap in half, but I managed to creep round behind a big generator – well I think it was a generator, it was big and metal, that’s all I remember. Zak could probably tell you what it was because he’s a boy. They know useless stuff like that.
Finally, I found myself behind the prisoners. I ducked down. If I wanted to get to them I would have to crawl across four metres of open space with no cover. The same if I tried to reach Fudge. It was a huge risk.
On the other hand – well, there wasn’t an other hand. I didn’t have any choice.
I looked up. Mum was still working her way across the roof beams, but now she had a companion – Batpants! The ape was up there with her, calmly swinging along as if it was the sort of thing she did every day. I suppose it was, in a way. The roof beams were her jungle branches.
Mum was way too busy concentrating, so she had no idea where I was and I had no idea what she was planning. As for Zak and Finn, there was no sign of them. Maybe they’d scooted for home.
And then, just as I was thinking exactly that, Finn came strolling out into the open with a big grin on his face.
‘It’s a boy!’ snapped one of the guards.
‘Hi!’ Finn answered, still smiling. ‘What are you doing?’
‘What do you mean, what are we doing?’ repeated the guard, puzzled. ‘What does it look like we’re doing? In any case, what are you doing?’
‘I want to show you my earwig,’ said Finn. ‘He’s called Thursday, cos that’s when I found him. My sister said I should call him Thursday Afternoon, but she’s stupid. And did you know, he’s got really big pincers? He looks as if he’d like to gobble up big beasties but actually he only eats plants like daisies and stuff.’
And Finn just stood there talking to them, just like that! Talk about brave! I was so proud of him, even if he did tell them I was stupid. And he just went on and on. ‘And did you know, they use their pincers for fighting each other. And did you know, they’re nocturnal which means they come out at night. And did you know –’
I suddenly realized that this was my chance. The gang were all watching Finn, completely captured by his lecture on earwigs. I crept forward as quickly as possible. Creep creep creep, slithering across the floor like a snake. Actually, it was a pretty filthy floor and it wasn’t very nice sliding along like that. I was getting very grubby.
Meantime, Finn kept the kidnappers c
hatting but they were closing round him, getting suspicious.
AND THEN A HAND SUDDENLY GRABBED MY ANKLE! I froze absolutely solid with terror, top to toe. Finally, I managed to peep behind me.
Zak! It was big bro! He must have been hiding pretty close to me, waiting for Finn to distract the gang. Now he was creeping up too. He pushed his long hair out of his eyes, flashed a grin at me, and together we wriggled our way behind the row of chairs. I started to work on Dad’s bonds while Zak had a go at India’s.
We had to duck down behind the chairs a couple of times when the gang glanced our way, but luckily nobody saw anything. At last we got the ropes loose. Dad rose to his feet, muscles tensed and ready for action. His chair scraped the ground. The guards swung round.
‘Don’t budge!’ shouted one, marching towards us. India screamed and threw herself at Zak, burying her head in his shoulder. She would! Now, all four of the gang had surrounded us. Talk about feeling like a burst balloon. My plan – Zak’s plan too – had failed miserably. We had both been captured. Great.
‘SKRREEEEKKKKKK-SKRANNNGGGGG-SKRUNNNKKKK!’
The terrifying noise made us all whirl round to look behind us. Fudge was going mad with fury. She was tugging at her rope so hard that the rusty pole she was attached to was now bending and giving way. The platform above her was threatening to come crashing down. Fudge’s ears flapped angrily and she filled the warehouse with her trumpeting.
‘BLARRRRRR-BLARRR-BLARRRRRRRR!!’
‘Don’t move!’ screamed one of the gang. ‘And someone stop that blasted elephant!’
‘You leave sweety-pie alone, you monsters!’ India shouted.
‘Shut up, girlie!’ snarled boss-man.
‘I’ve lost my earwig,’ Finn blurted. ‘Has anyone seen Thursday?’
‘Just shut up, you stupid kid, or you won’t see Thursday, Friday, Saturday or any other day of the week!’ yelled the boss.
And then –
SHREEEEEKKKKK-KER-SPLANGGGGG!!!
Batpants and the Vanishing Elephant Page 5