by Faye Sonja
All was not lost though, and that night she decided not to tell her parents her secret. And so for the rest of the week they worked the orchard and the barn at day and held secret rendezvous filled with kisses and caresses at night. She had learned so much about Joshua by the time that week ended and more than ever she was enjoying the man who opened up to her with little fear. There was a kind of trust there that she could not take lightly, and so she gave him just as much in return.
“I don’t think I could imagine my life without you again,” Joshua said to her one night as they lay beneath the trees in the orchard in each other’s arms. “And sooner or later, this will not be enough for me. I will want more.”
Jessica was surprised at her words. “I know,” she said. For she felt the same way, and that in and of itself was an entirely different cup of tea.
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10
Chapter TEN
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“ She hoped he would be something
more than just the same traditional
gentleman she was growing tired of.”
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The week slipped by in slow euphoria, work by day and love by night was exactly what the doctor had ordered. She had woken up with a small bouquet on her window ledge with a note that promised to be waiting by the river. She couldn’t wait for the day to be done. Weighing heavy on her mind though was the fact that she would be telling her parents soon about Samuel.
As she made her way back home, smelling like the noodles she had been making all day, she was dying for a bath. But she thought of the conversation they would have at the table that night. It was full time and Samuel had insisted on it earlier.
“Well Joshua,” she said out loud to the evening around her. “It is time to come clean and deal with consequences from there.” She knew that there was a need to tell her parents of her preference and she hoped that they would not shun her.
The house was in relative silence as she made her way in, everyone no doubt in their rooms getting ready for dinner. She could hear Cas playfully speaking to himself as he usually did when he played alone, and she smiled at the sound of him.
“Tell your brother dinner is ready,” her mother said to her as she walked in. “And wash up quickly.”
She did no such thing. She took her merry little time getting ready for a long night and then made her way down slowly. They were all at the table as she took a seat and the heavy silence hung thick in the air as she did so and she felt that she was the center of attention.
“Daed,” she said as the table went silent. “I have something to tell all of you and I know you will not want to hear it but it must be said.”
Her father looked at her sternly as her mother rested a hand over hers. She used to sit beside her father but recent disagreements had caused her to change her seat because she just could not be bothered with the angry stares she would get. Seems like all they had been doing lately was disagreeing over almost everything. She remembered thinking how in reverse things were for her. For Jessica it was usually her mother that fussed over marriage, but now it was her father who was eager to see her walk down the aisle. It was quite the enigma, because being Amish was all about strongly avoiding conflicts. If there ever was a prize to be given for peaceful resolutions, they would win it. Theirs was a way of life that promoted humility and peaceful resolution, but her father could not handle being defied.
“This is not the time for this Dochtah,” her father said resting his fork on the side of his plate.
Jessica sighed. “Yes, father it is, because I want to discuss this as a family.”
As she waited for her father’s approval to speak, she thought of what he would say, and she was not sure. When her father nodded she simply spoke from the heart like she always did. Her father gave a curt nod and all eating stopped as she spoke.
“I will not be marrying Samuel. I have decided tha-,” her words were cut short by her father.
“What do you mean? You have been courting for near four years now. It is time to take a husband and it has already been decided… you simply need to settle down with him and that is that!”
Jessica resented the way her father spoke about settling down. One did not simply go the market and choose one, but she did not say what she was thinking. For what was to come next was to be far graver. She had a feeling that there was no avoiding her reason tonight. She would be adamant about Samuel and she would soon demand an explanation.
“Father, I have decided and I will not change my mind. The decision as to whom I marry is my own. It has very little to do with you and Samuel and I have already agreed to move on.”
“I have already spoken,” her father said to her picking his fork back up. “It has been decided.”
“No, Daed,” Jessica said getting up from the table. “I would rather be an Englisher than to marry someone I do not love.”
A gasp went up around the table, and Jessica could see her father’s face drain of any color it had before. She knew her words saddened the family, but it was simply what it was.
“You do not mean that Jessica,” her mother said beseeching her to take the foul words she had just uttered back. She was unsure of many things in her life, but her decision now was not one of them. She might be new to handling the desires she had, but she had known for years that Samuel was not for her.
“Yes mama,” she said lifting her mother’s hand to her lips. “I mean every word of it. My happiness should matter more than father’s desire to see me married. I will not trade a life time of happiness just because he would rather it be some other way.”
“If not Samuel then who?” her mother asked and she thought for a moment that this was not the right time to tell them, but she needed to, or they would constantly be expecting her to find a man very soon.
“Father,” she said softly looking at the only man she had ever loved. “Can you please ask Cas to give us a moment of privacy so we can speak?”
He looked at her with an expression she could not quite read, but then he complied. She waited until she knew he was out of earshot before speaking in hushed tones.
“Who?” her mother’s impatience showed. “Which other young man are you so taken with that you would give away four years of bonding?”
She hoped that when she told her she would not be put out. “I have fallen in love with Joshua Ashon.”
“What are you going on about?” her father asked. His voice took on the deep guttural sound of annoyance.
“I am saying father,” she said with a sigh. “I love the young man who just came to town. He came because I responded to his mail order bride advertisement and I have been secretly courting him for almost two months now.”
They were silent before her father spoke again. “Are you saying what I think you are saying, Jessica?” her father asked and this time she could hear his heart waiting to be broken.
“I am in love with him.”
Her mother burst into tears and her father got up from the table without so much as another word. “Why?”
Her father glared at her. “He was shunned from his community and I forbid you to court him anymore.”
“I do not care what has happened in his past!” she shouted at him. “He is a good man, and if I cannot marry him living under your roof, then I will leave and do so.”
“How dare you go against what I have declared?”
She looked up at her father defiantly. “I will not marry a man I do not love just because that is your decree. I respect you father, but I will reserve the right to choose who I spend the rest of my life with. And I choose Joshua.”
Her father looked at her sadly as if giving her some time to change her mind, but she wouldn’t. When it was clear that no change would come, he spoke with words of finality.
“Since that is your final decision, according to the laws of this community you are shunn
ed.”
The words reached her ear like the death sentence it was and she could hardly breathe. Her father walked away from her and her mother placed a tearful kiss on her forehead as she followed him up the stairs.
“I will never shun you Jesse,” Cas said running to her. “And I understand if you must go. Just you be sure to be happy and write to me every chance you get.”
She held him close and cried, hoping that by morning they would have changed their minds, but she had no such luck. When she came down the stairs the following morning Cas was still asleep and there was no place set for her at the breakfast table. Her parents did not look at her and she knew that she had to be gone before the day’s end. It broke her heart.
Chrisanne was the first to come by to say she had heard the news and she wanted to give her what little money she had to help her on her journey. “Write to me Jessica so I know you are well.”
She promised she would and by three in the afternoon she hopped into a buggy with Joshua that would take them to the train station. Her farewell was devoid of words and heavy with a silence laced with sadness and regret in her mother’s eyes. Cas held onto her the longest and gave her his word that he would never forget her, and she promised to write. She somehow knew she would see him when he was older, he had the personality of a child who would go exploring and she held tight to the thought that his explorations would bring him to her new home.
The home Joshua had left but was now taking her back to.
“We will be okay.” He told her as the buggy pulled out. She held his hand tightly as the tears streamed down her cheek, but deep in her heart she was happy to be starting over with him. She had wished for something new and here she was about to get it.
“I love you,” she said to him. Her voice shaky with sadness.
“Will you marry me?” came his response, and as he pulled a small gold band from his pocket she laughed and cried at the same time. “I do not promise you perfection, but I promise I will treasure you with every breath I breathe for as long as I am alive.”
“Yes,” she whispered, happiness again flooding her heart. “Yes, I will gladly marry you.”
He slipped the ring on her finger and sealed the deal with a kiss. “I love you more than the life I have Jessica, and giving it to see you happy is a sacrifice I will happily make any day.”
* * *
Epilogue
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A year later in Radish County,
Ohio
Joshua rushed through the infirmary with Jackson, John and Clara hot on his heels.
“Which room is she in?!” he asked, not wanting to miss the birth of his first child. Jessica was delivering a month earlier than expected and he was praying there would be no complications. The couple arrived to the room just as the wiry Amish doctor sped ahead of them to where his wife screamed in pain. He burst through the door right behind him leaving the others outside and there lying in the bed, with the pain clearly written on her face was Jessica.
“I am here,” he said rushing to her side and taking her hand, ignoring the midwife who frowned at him. She screamed every five seconds, hoping the baby would come easily. Though that wasn’t the case. Jessica tried breathing just like the midwife suggested, yet, still, the contractions continued to wear her down, and he felt useless by her side, unable to do anything but pat her head with a wet cloth.
“Are you sure you want to be here for this?” the mid-wife asked him.
Joshua looked at her wondering if she really asked him that question. This is the love of my life in her most painful moment. I am not leaving her side.”
He had in fact not left her side since they had moved back to Ohio. His mother had loved her from the first day and soon she was made to feel right at home. He knew she missed her family and in the year that passed she had written home, but she would never see them again anytime soon and he was responsible for taking her on a journey that dictated that. So no, he was not going to leave her side.
The mid-wife got the point and went back to her job just as Jessica released a blood curding scream.
“It’s time,” the doctor said. “Jessica, I’m going to need you to push.”
And she listened… She pushed and pushed long and hard. An hour passed before they made any progress and Joshua never left her side even when his hand cramped from her squeezing all the blood out of it.
“You are doing wonderful my love,” he said just as the doctor nearly gave him a heart attack.
“This isn’t good,” the doctor exclaimed. He widened his eyes. “It looks like something isn’t right with her. It’s the umbilical cord… it’s wrapped around the baby’s neck.”
“What?” Jonathan grabbed his chest and started heaving.
“What does that mean?!” Jessica yelled through her pushing and pain.
“If we don’t get the baby out now, she is going to die.”
“What do we do?” Joshua asked with tears streaming down his face. “I will not lose either of them doctor. I am not done loving them yet.”
“I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to rely on faith alone for this.”
A doctor, someone who studied science and only believed in the facts, had to now rely on what he could not predict, on something that science alone could not solve. This, my friend, was also part of the prophecy. Joshua closed his eyes and between kissing Jessica’s sweaty forehead and whispering words of encouragement he prayed. He prayed to the ears of the God he served.
“I am going to throw up,” Jessica said. Her body was hot, heavy and in pain, and he knew she must be feeling like she was living a nightmare that would never end. It was as if she had gone to hell and back, though the fire continued to burn. Yes, this moment was supposed to be sweet and memorable, except it wasn’t. He wanted her pain to be gone and he knew she wanted all the agonizing to end. Right here. Right now.
“Get this child out of me!” she shouted, squeezing his hand tightly. If the baby didn’t leave her body soon, she might faint or worse.
“Can you work any faster doctor?” he asked.
The man looked up at him with a smile. “She is doing fine, just focus on her.”
“Do you need water,” Joshua chanted.
“Is the position comfy enough for you?” the mid-wife asked for the eightieth time.
“Keep pushing, you’re almost there,” the doctor reminded her.
They were all giving her directions at the same time, but nothing had really happened. All Joshua really wanted was for them to get on with it and he made a silent promise never to put her through this pain again. Jessica screamed, still heaving and pushing steadily. Then, entering the room was his mother. She quickly made her way to the bed and held up one of Jessica’s hands to help and Joshua was grateful for her.
“Joshua,” Jessica said, relieved. If anyone could brighten her day it would be these two.
“Its fine, all you need to do is keep breathing.”
“They said she has a—”
His mother shushed her. “I already know,” she said. “Just keep pushing. Don’t quit now or all of this was for nothing.”
They went on like this for a while. Breathing, chanting, and pushing. It was a repeated cycle. He knew she must have been feeling drowsy, because her eyes kept drooping as if she was beginning to pass out. Who knew how long she had left to continue on like this?
The baby didn’t seem like she wanted to come out. It wasn’t until the next long push that got the job done. Half the baby exited Jessica’s body and the doctor was able to help from this point. Immediately after the doctor cut the cord from around her neck, the crying baby girl was put on Jessica’s chest. Joshua stood close, smiling.
“She is beautiful,” he whispered in tears at the crying baby girl who was slowly calming down with the soothing feeling of her mother’s breath.
“I love you,” Jessica said, looking at her little bundle of joy. And with that, the baby went silent. No more crying, just silent coos of complete c
omfort and Jessica soon drifted off to sleep. A few minutes passed by and the mid-wife took the baby to clean her up. Meanwhile, Joshua just smiled down at the amazing woman who had given up everything to be with him. When the mid-wife handed him his daughter he took her out to meet her eager aunties and uncles and vowed on his life to do whatever it took to keep them safe.
He had finally figured out his place in life and it was right back where he had been born with the love of his life and his child by his side.
He would be forever grateful.
* * *
The Lost Ex-Amish Bride
Mail Order Ex-Amish Brides Ride West
Book 1
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b o o k 1
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When Agnes is shunned by her Amish community for bringing English medicine onto the land in order to heal her ailing mother, she finds herself on her own in a world she doesn’t understand.
Thinking of becoming a mail order bride to help her get on her feet, she would soon find herself sorely disappointed.
When she nearly dies in a burning library fire with a child in her arms, she has thoughts that the world must surely be against her, but it would soon be revealed that fate had other plans for her…
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