by Dani Collins
He was hovering at the entrance to an unhealthy spiral and would have to make time amid the rest of his busy day to visit his doctor for a prescription. It was frustrating and lowering, especially for a man with perfectionist tendencies. It was the best thing he could do for both of them in the long run, though.
“I do have to leave.” But he couldn’t make himself walk away without one kiss, one taste...
He cupped her face so he wouldn’t touch her anywhere else. And he tried to keep it to a teasing, tender kiss of parting, but her mouth flowered open beneath his. Her tongue swept across his bottom lip in explicit desire.
He instantly hardened, nearly overcome by sudden, raw sexuality. He took complete possession of her mouth, made love to her with his tongue. He wanted to strip them both naked and plunge into her like this, again and again until they exploded. Not a sensual seduction like she deserved, but animalistic mating that left them panting and sweaty and sated.
He jerked his head back, unsettled by how tenuous his grip on his control was. The less he showed, the less he would have. This had to stop here.
She was trembling, eyelids fluttering open, breath short.
When he dropped his hands and stepped back from her, she bit the lips he’d left swollen and shiny.
“What’s wrong?” She sounded uncertain. Hurt.
He bit back a curse at how untenable this was and grasped for the first rationale that came to him. “I have to be able to look your father in the eye.”
“My father doesn’t own my sexuality.” Her brows crashed together in annoyance.
“I still think it would be best to wait until the wedding.” He needed time to get himself back on track.
She snorted. “My father knows how babies are made. He slept with Mom before they married.”
“And how did her father feel about that?” he countered dryly.
“My grandfather was never told.” She spoke snippily, then seemed to realize that wasn’t a point that worked in her favor. She waved dismissively. “Their situation was different. My grandmother wasn’t angry they slept together. She was mad they married without permission. She wanted Mom to marry someone else.”
“In Canada?”
“In Hong Kong. She took Mom to visit relatives and meet him, but while Mom was out with her cousins, she met Dad. Grandma said it was just lust.” Ivy pressed her mouth into a line of consternation.
That small show of disquiet in her made the floor feel soggy beneath him. Was she worrying they didn’t even have that, because he wasn’t throwing her onto the bed and ravishing her? He wanted to. It was taking everything in him not to reach for her, but he was also aware it would weaken the dam holding all the emotional junk he’d bottled up out of self-preservation. He was protecting her and their combined future as much as himself.
“What happened?” He had completely lost the plot, far too aware that she was withdrawing mentally and physically, hugging herself and stepping back from him.
“Grandma tried to break them up by taking Mom home. Dad followed and married her on the sly. Grandma said he only married her to immigrate.” She moved to the window. “But they loved each other,” she said with quiet conviction.
And that was what Ivy wanted for her marriage. That’s why she had been quiet and blue and solemn all day. She was seeking reassurance in passion and turning away when he didn’t offer it.
A slab of concrete settled over his chest as he realized he had cheated her of something he didn’t know he could ever provide. He cared about the people close to him and expected he would come to cherish her the way he did the rest of his family, but she wanted the grand, romantic love that pursued someone across continents and defied parents and couldn’t be resisted because it had to be.
He pushed his hands into his pants pockets. Swallowed an acrid taste of failure.
“Your father must be sympathizing with his mother-in-law at this moment, worried about my motives. I need to do this right, Ivy.” It was the least he could do.
“Sure. Fine. Do what you have to, and I’ll wait here like a good girl. Ignore that,” she commanded, immediately throwing up a hand. “I’m freaking out. Staff, Jun Li? A house? I appreciate everything you’re doing, but how am I supposed to react to any of this? I was excited when I heard my new job came with a title.”
He relaxed a little. “You’ll get used to it.”
As he hovered one more second, he realized he wanted to draw her into an embrace and kiss her to reassure them both. It bothered him to leave her with this discord between them.
“Do you want me to tell the butler you’re lying down?” He took a step toward the door.
“Thank you.” She nodded, mouth pouted in a way that made walking away hurt like hell.
“Jun Li.”
His heart tripped as he turned back. His breath caught as he took in one of the loveliest women he’d ever seen in his life. Her hair was loose around her face, and her chin came to that adorably obstinate point. Her dress hugged her shoulders and cut low across the swells of her breasts then billowed loosely to flutter around her pretty knees. The dress’s mossy-green color made her skin look like honey illuminated by sunshine.
“You know what I’m getting you as a wedding gift, don’t you?”
“A baby?”
“A smoothie bullet.”
It took him a moment, then he recalled that was what she’d got Kevin while he’d given his old friend a house. For some reason, that very lame joke had him grinning all day.
* * *
“Your blood pressure is up a little,” the midwife said the morning of the wedding. “Not much and this is a big day. I’m not worried, but we’ll keep an eye on it.” She made a note.
The days had flown by in a flurry of meetings and interviews, fittings and meals with friends and relatives from both sides, all visiting from around the globe. Everyone was very happy for them, and several cooed quiet asides to Ivy about how lucky she was.
She was. She might have no time alone with her husband-to-be, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t ironing wrinkles from her days before she even saw them. They texted frequently, and at one point he sent her a link for a nine-hundred-watt stainless steel blender.
Says it’s also good for baby food?
She had bought it with her own credit card, despite its extravagant price tag, and had it sent to his penthouse with a note.
Make some congee. Let me know.
I’ll use it every day, he promised in a text.
Such flirts they were.
But despite learning the names of his cousins and hearing stories of his childhood, she still felt as though she was marrying blindly. Any reservations she dared whisper had been refuted by whomever she voiced them to. He was Tsai Jun Li. He was rich, gorgeous, doting and had fired one of his executives when it was revealed the man had made some derogatory remarks about Ivy carrying Jun Li’s baby before the wedding had happened.
Did she not realize she was the envy of every single woman in the world?
She had so much more with Jun Li than she’d had with Bryant. Did it matter that they weren’t in love? It would come in time. Wouldn’t it?
She had run out of time to change her mind if she believed it wouldn’t. She was dressed in a demure red cheongsam for the ceremony. She was so nervous, she thought she would shake the petals right off her bouquet of wine-red roses before Jun Li arrived to collect her.
There was a stir below, and she came to the top of the stairs as he entered the foyer. He wore an embroidered red Tang jacket over black trousers. He was so wickedly handsome, her knees threatened to give out.
His penetrating gaze swept up and found her. He stilled as though she was something that stole his breath. She thought his throat might have flexed with a swallow.
Some of her relatives had threatened to perform playful traditions,
saying they would make him earn their surrender of her, but Jun Li only had to hold out his hand. Everyone went silent as Ivy came down the stairs as though in a spell. He linked their fingers and held their clasped hands to his chest.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said breathlessly.
The trip to the government office was solemn. Their parents stood by as they spoke their vows. Ivy could hardly get hers out, she was so overcome by the power of their promises to one another.
Jun Li squeezed her hand as he spoke, as if he were trying to press each word into her skin and blood and bones. When his mouth touched hers in a brief kiss, her qualms faded away. Surely something that felt this right was right?
From there, they went to the home of Jun Li’s parents, a beautiful beaux arts villa in the Bund. They performed a tea ceremony to serve their parents. Jun Li’s mother, Mo Chou, gave Ivy a stunning gold necklace made of links shaped like ivy leaves. Some were solid, some hollow, giving it an airy, delicate look. It had a matching bracelet and earrings and was so pretty, Ivy said sincerely, “I’ll treasure this always.”
She was already wearing a gold hair ornament that had been worn by her mother and grandmother for their own weddings. Her father had brought it along with some rare coins and jade carvings that he had collected over the years for exactly this occasion, so he could gift them to her new husband’s parents.
After a light meal, they went to the hotel, where she and Jun Li were shown into a lavish top-floor suite. Ivy’s stylist had taken over one bedroom, where she had organized all Ivy’s outfits for the banquet.
She helped Ivy into an elaborate qipao with a long silk train. It was embroidered down one side with gold threads and colorful flowers. Jun Li was waiting for her when she emerged. He had changed into a different red wedding tunic with embroidery similar to hers.
Moments later, when they entered the ballroom, the wave of excitement off the five hundred guests nearly felled her.
They visited every table while the guests ate, each requiring introductions and toasts. It took hours, and they disappeared several times to change. Each time, Ivy discovered Jun Li had gifted her more jewelry and he switched to a jacket that matched her own gown.
When she put on a traditional Western wedding dress and wore a necklace of diamonds, he changed into a white tuxedo. Her dark pink gown was a foil for rubies of an intense magenta color while he wore a burgundy-colored vest over a black shirt. She switched to a mermaid-style gown in buttercup yellow, sunny sapphires falling like petals over her collarbone while he appeared in a mandarin-collared jacket of muted saffron.
Finally, after the speeches were finished, Ivy put on a sleeveless cocktail dress in midnight-blue velvet. A necklace and earrings appeared that matched her engagement ring of blue and white diamonds.
“You look incredible. Edible,” Jun Li told her. He dipped his head to press a kiss to the point of her bare shoulder.
Each time they’d entered the elevator, he’d complimented her. Each time, she had thanked him profusely for the jewelry.
This time she could only smile weakly. Her feet ached and her cheeks were sore from forcing herself to smile. Her voice hurt from talking, and she still had to get through sending everyone off with their wedding favors.
“Are you okay?” he asked, giving her elbow a squeeze.
“Just tired. But I can stay in bed all day tomorrow if I want to.”
“That was my plan.”
A blush hit her cheeks, and she looked down to hide it.
She was nervous about making love again but glad to hear some enthusiasm from him. Despite the passion that had overwhelmed her in Singapore, he’d been adamant about keeping their affection to a few tame kisses. They’d constantly been surrounded by friends and relatives, barely able to exchange private words, let alone more, but it bothered her that he hadn’t even tried. The desire seemed to be all on her side, not so much on his.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our groom has arranged a special treat for you,” a voice announced as they reappeared.
The ceiling opened to reveal the night sky. While everyone murmured with surprise, the first testing streak of fireworks appeared like a shooting star. Music began to play, and the colorful explosions were perfectly synchronized to the booms in the music. Everyone cheered with enjoyment.
Ivy stood in Jun Li’s arms, head tilted up to watch. It was beautiful, but the roof seemed to be closing in before the show was over. Jun Li’s arm tightened around her, making her feel as though he was cutting off her air because none was entering her lungs.
“Ivy!” His voice was a million miles away.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IVY WILTED IN his arms, head lolling, scaring the hell out of him.
As she crumpled, Jun Li caught her behind the legs and cradled her to his chest while he scanned for one of the physicians in attendance. As people began lowering their attention from the sky and releasing murmurs of alarm, his uncle on his mother’s side—a general practitioner—hurried toward him.
“She saw her midwife this morning. She said the checkup was fine,” Jun Li told him.
His uncle motioned to the dais. A screen had been set up behind the podium to provide a backdrop for the speakers. It afforded them a little privacy as Jun Li lowered Ivy onto the carpeted floor behind it.
Her eyes were already fluttering open in disoriented alarm. “What—?”
“Let him take your pulse,” he told her as she instinctively tried to pull away from his uncle’s hold on her wrist.
His uncle asked whether there was bleeding or cramping, questions that put a knot of sick terror in the pit of Jun Li’s gut even after she dismissed them.
“No, I’m fine. I haven’t eaten since this afternoon,” she admitted with chagrin.
“We had food in the room.” Jun Li had been snacking each time they changed and had presumed Ivy was doing the same.
“I didn’t want to risk staining any of the gowns.”
“They’re just clothes,” he muttered, but while he’d been shrugging on a new jacket, she’d been sitting to have her hair restyled and her makeup retouched.
“The midwife told me to stay hydrated, but we had so many people to meet,” she continued with apology. “I didn’t want to excuse myself every five minutes. Honestly, I’m fine. All the running around this week has caught up to me, that’s all. Now I’m making a scene and I feel like a fool. Please let me up.”
His uncle helped her sit but watched her closely. “Dizzy?”
“Mortally embarrassed.”
A waiter was hovering with a phone. He asked Jun Li if an ambulance was needed.
Jun Li sent him for a rehydration drink. “Something with protein,” he added, then crouched beside Ivy. “You should have told me you weren’t feeling well.”
“I’ve gone without eating and drinking before when I’ve been traveling or had work deadlines. I’ve never fainted.”
“Your baby is using all of your resources now,” his uncle scolded. “You have to take better care of yourself.”
“I will,” Ivy promised.
“I will,” Jun Li swore.
“Can we please go back out there? Before everyone thinks this is more serious than it is? Oh, Dad, I’m fine,” she said, looking past Jun Li.
He stepped out of the way so she could reassure her father.
The music was finishing up with a finale of explosions, but the cheering had stopped. The air of concern was palpable. Jun Li moved to the podium and waited for the last notes of the music to fade before he spoke.
“Ivy is feeling the strain of the day,” he told the crowd. “We are honored and grateful that you took this time to be with us today, but we’ll be leaving shortly—”
The crowd gave an audible sigh of relief and beamed, clapping as Ivy came out from behind the screen to join h
im.
“I’m fine,” she insisted and showed him the milky drink she was sipping. “I’d like to stay and see everyone off.”
Her color was better, but Jun Li had a chair brought for her to sit in while their families gathered around them and guests filed by to say their good nights. No one lingered, and Ivy’s soon-to-be stepsisters did most of the work in handing out the gift bags. They were shaped like sedan chairs and held handmade candies, oranges, red chopsticks engraved with his and Ivy’s names, gold pendants with the double happiness symbol, and other keepsakes.
“I thought you might want one of these,” Kevin said at Jun Li’s elbow.
Jun Li dragged his watchful eye off Ivy to see Kevin was offering a glass of scotch.
“Thank you.” Despite the many toasts in their honor today, Jun Li hadn’t imbibed. He typically avoided alcohol since it was a depressant, but he accepted the drink, appreciating the stimulating bite as he sipped. “And thank you for interrupting your honeymoon to be with us today.”
“We wouldn’t have missed it. You two should join us in Bora Bora for a few days. Ivy could use the R and R. You too?”
Kevin was the only other person Jun Li had ever told about his long ago pregnancy debacle. He understood the pressures Jun Li had put upon himself from an early age and the load he carried today. He knew how Jun Li’s drive to succeed had a downside. Any sort of failure hit him like a northbound bus.
Kevin’s new wife, Carla, was chatting with Ivy. The crowd had thinned, and everyone else was occupied in pockets of conversation. Jun Li stepped away from the line to speak more privately with Kevin.
“I saw she was looking tired, but she said she was fine. I should have listened to my gut.” Jun Li was furious with himself.
“That tracks. For Ivy, I mean,” Kevin said with a dry chuckle, holding up a hand. “Your instincts remain infamously sharp, and I’m surprised you ignored them. But when I worked with her in Hong Kong, I saw very quickly that she was the kind of person other people feed a sob story to so she would do their work for them. She reminds me of my sister. Doesn’t know how to set limits and say no.”