How Many Chances

by Beverley Hollowed

  She rode up in the lift to the twelfth floor and pray to god for the strength to stand up to her father.

  When the lift stopped and the doors opened she was greeted by yet another pretty blonde.

  “Ms Fitzmaurice,” she smiled brightly. “I am Clara, your father’s assistant. If you could please follow me, I will take you to him. He is expecting you.”

  Ally said nothing, she just followed behind the girl and concentrated on her breathing. As she walked she was very aware she was being closely watched by everyone in the open plan office.

  They reached a large set of black double doors and Clara knocked and waited for a response.

  “Come” Ally heard her father’s gruff voice, bark from inside. Clara opened the door. Ally took a deep breath and stepped into the office.

  “That will be all Clara,” he barked looking up from his laptop and staring at Ally. Clara left them alone.

  “So, to what do I owe this visit?” He asked, standing up front behind a huge mahogany desk and walking to a drinks cabinet that was against the wall to the left of his desk. “Drink?”

  “No thank you,” she replied calmly. “I think you owe me an explanation.”

  “I owe you nothing sweetheart,” he replied with a laugh as he knocked back, what looked like a brandy, in one gulp. “I am not the one who was fucking the grease monkey. That was your mother.”

  Ally cringed at his coarseness.

  “But I will answer your questions,” he said sitting back behind his desk. “Have a seat and tell me what is it you want to know?”

  “How do you know Gus is my…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the words. She choice to remain standing too.

  “You mother told me when she was diagnosed with cancer the first time,” he replied and for a moment Ally thought she saw a flicker of sadness across his face. “Well I knew they had been fucking already. I had known that for a long time. But she admitted you were his when she found out she was sick.”

  “I see,” Ally replied taking a deep breath to try keep herself calm. She hated discussing her mother or her illness with him. “Does Gus know, about me I mean?”

  “Yes,” he replied. “They had agreed to keep it secret because his sad sap of a wife was about to have a kid and your mother suddenly grew a conscience.”

  “So why didn’t you tell me when she died?” Ally asked. “Why wait til now?”

  “Your grandfather stopped that,” Fitzmaurice said and shrugged. “He said you had been through enough. And I guess he was right. Besides already hated me. Why give you another reason.”

  “I see,” Ally said her mind was suddenly blank. There was nothing else he could tell her now. Nothing else mattered. “Well there is nothing else to say then, I guess. Thank you for seeing me and answering my questions.”

  Ally turned and walked to the door. She reached for the handle and hesitated. She turned back and looked at this man that she once loved so much and would have done anything to make him proud of her.

  “Can I asked you once more question?” she said in a nervous voice.

  “You can,” he nodded and leaned back in his chair.

  “Did you ever love me?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper as she held his eyes with hers. He didn’t respond for a moment as if he was considering her question.

  “You were my world,” finally he replied sadly and stared back at her.

  “Thank you,” she smiled at him, knowing how hard it must have been for him to admit that to her. “Bye Dad.”

  She walked out the door and closed it behind her and finally closed the door on the ghost that had haunted her for longer than she could bare to think about.

  “Are you okay,” Nick, who was leaning against the car waiting for her, asked the moment he spotted her emerge from the building.

  “I am just fine,” she replied with a smile. “Let’s go and sort this bitch out.”

  Nick smiled back at Ally and opened the door of the car for her.

  Fifteen minutes later they pulled up outside the perfect little house Cole had bought for Steph and Ben. Ally looked at Nick who was watching her in the rear-view mirror.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked Ally.

  “No,” she replied honestly with a nervous laugh. She looked from Nick to the picturesque little house they were parked in front of. “But I know I have to. I have to do this for Cole.”

  She unfastened her seatbelt as Nick climbed out and opened the car door for her.

  She climbed out of the car and stopped in front of Nick and looked up at him.

  “Wish me luck,” she said and took a deep breath.

  “Good luck,” he replied and smiled at her.

  She walked to the front door and paused for a moment before she knocked on the door. She turned back to Nick who gave her an encouraging smile and the thumbs up.

  She could hear someone approaching and the latch on the door being pulled back. The door finally opened and she was face to face with Steph.

  “What the hell do you want?” Steph snarled, completely taken back to see Ally standing there. She looked every more ordinary in her baby pink tracksuit and her hair caught back in a pony.

  “Think it’s time you and I had a chat,” Ally replied and stepped into the house and past Steph, not waiting to be invited in. She wanted to show her, she meant business.

  “Who the hell do you think you are?” Steph demanded as she followed Ally to the living room of the house. Ally looked around at the house. It had the best of furniture, no doubt paid for by Cole. But it was lacking something. It didn’t feel like a home. There was no sign a baby lived in this home at all. It was more like a show house. “Turning up here and barging your way into my home. You have no right. I want you to leave.”

  “Who the hell am I?” Ally said finally turning around to face Steph. “Who the hell are you to play with people lives and emotions because it suits you? I know your filthy little secret and it ends today.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Steph demanded but the look of panic on her face told Ally she knew exactly what secret Ally was talking about. She suddenly looked as white as a sheet.

  “I know Cole isn’t Ben’s father.” Ally said looking Steph straight in the eyes.

  “I have no idea what you are talking about?” Steph replied, the panic now clear in her voice. She began to fidget nervously. “I want you to get out of my home.”

  “I will go when I have said what I have come here to say.” Ally replied her voice completely calm. “I was in the ladies the other day. I heard everything. I know you never slept with Cole. I know some guy called Damian is Ben father. I know everything. I it ends today.”

  Steph stared at her and Ally could see her mind was racing looking for some kind of comeback but she had none.

  “How can you be so heartless as to do that to him?” Ally continued. “He adores Ben. How can you lie to him? How can you lie to your son? Do you really think you can get away with this?”

  “I have gotten away with it,” Steph laugh suddenly finding her inner bitch.

  “No you haven’t!” Ally snapped back amazed at the bare faced cheek of this girl. “You really think I am going to stand by and let some money grabbing, jumped up little nobody take the man I love for a fool. You will tell him the truth or so help me god…”

  “Or what?” Steph spat back stepping closer to Ally. She smiled sweetly at Ally “I am the mother of his child. Like you said before, he adores Ben, he will never believe a word you say. I will just tell him you are just a jealous, lying little cow and you told me you were going to lie to him about Ben.”

  “Oh my God,” Ally laughed. “Are you really that stupid that you think he would believe you over me? To him you are just some stupid tart he thought he made a mistake of fucking one night while he was drunk. The only reason you are even on his radar is because of that little boy. You mean nothing to him. He only loves Ben because he is a decent, good man. You are using him. But I
will not stand by and let you hurt him.”

  “You don’t scare me,” Steph lied. Fear was very clearly written across her face and Ally knew she had her on the ropes but she wasn’t going down without a fight.

  “You should be scared,” Ally said stepping closer to Steph. “One word from me and you will lose everything. This house, the money Cole is no doubt giving you to take care of Ben. Unlike the scumbag Damian, to use your own words.”

  “What is it you want?” Steph asked knowing she was backed into a corner.

  “I want you to tell Cole the truth about Ben,” Ally replied. “But I don’t want him hurt. So you will tell him you really believed he was Ben’s father but you had made a mistake. Tell him how sorry you are and that you never meant to hurt him. Do this and I will make sure you and Ben are taken care of.”

  “And if I don’t?” Steph asked.

  “If you don’t,” Ally replied. “I will tell Cole everything and make sure you don’t get a single penny.”

  Steph stared at Ally for a moment then suddenly laughed.

  “Nice try,” she snarled at Ally. “I know what Ben means to Cole. He won’t walk away that easily. I think I will take my chances. Tell Cole the truth, he will never believe a jealous little cow like you anyways.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Cole voice came from the doorway of the living room and both girls turned in shock to find him standing there. He looked a little sick but angry as hell.

  Chapter 20

  Ally paced up and down outside Steph house. She froze every time she heard Cole’s voice raised. She felt sick to the pit of her stomach.

  When she closed her eyes she could just see the look of complete devastation that was on Coles face as he stood at the door of Steph’s living room.

  The minute she had seen him standing there she thought she was going to vomit. He looked so angry.

  “Cole,” Steph laughed nervously when she got over her initial shock of seeing Cole standing in the door way. “You should hear the crazy things this lying bitch has threatening to do to me.”

  “DON’T!” he snapped angrily pointing at Steph and she stopped talking immediately.

  He then turned to Ally and her heart almost stopped and she could feel her stomach heave. “Why didn’t you just tell me? You should have told me.”

  “I tried,” she barely managed to get the words out as her heart began to thump hard in her chest. “I really tried. But I… I couldn’t hurt you. I know what Ben means to you. And I just couldn’t be the one to break your heart. I love you too much.”

  “Ally, we promised, no more secrets,” he said stepping closer to her. Ally could feel the tears pool in her eyes and instantly trickle down her face. The pain etched on his face was too much for Ally to bear. She dropped her eyes to his chest unable to look at him any longer. He stepped in front of Ally and she could feel his breath wash across her face.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered afraid to look up at him. “I couldn’t break your heart. I couldn’t be the one to pull your world apart. It’s my job to fix it.”

  “This is not your fault,” Cole reassured Ally as he took her by the chin and tilted her face up to look at his. “I love you for what you just did. I wish you had told me, but I understand.”

  “I’m sorry Cole,” Ally repeated but he suddenly kissed her and she knew what her answer was.

  “Can you leave Steph and me alone please?” Cole asked turning and staring at Steph as the colour drained from her face. “Wait outside for me.”

  Ally wanted to protest. She didn’t want to be sent away but the expression on Coles face told her not to argue. So, without saying another word she headed for the door, glancing over her shoulder one last time before she left.

  “Ally, are you okay,” Nick said when he saw her walking out the front door. “I am so sorry, I had no idea he was even coming here today. He just pulled up behind me. He looked as mad as hell when I told him you were in there. Are you sure you are okay?”

  “I’m okay,” Ally reassured him but she wasn’t so sure she was. “But I don’t think Cole is. He looks so devastated. This is all my fault. I should have just told him the truth. I didn’t want him to find out like this. This is not what I wanted.”

  Suddenly tears trickled down her face again as the realisation of what just happened hit her. She heard Cole shouting once again and her stomach heaved. She turned to go back in but Nick stopped her.

  “Ally, don’t,” he begged her. “Leave him, don’t get in his way.”

  “Oh God!” she exclaimed as her hands flew to her mouth. “What have I done?”

  “Ally, you did what you thought was the right thing to do” Nick replied as he nervously rubbed her arm trying to comfort her. He watched the door the whole time. “You didn’t do this. She did. This is all her. She is the one who lied to him. He was always going to find out. These things always come out in the end.”

  Ally paced up and down, trying her hardest to keep her breathing even and calm. But every time she heard Cole’s voice shouting her heart stopped.

  Suddenly the door of Steph’s house slammed shut making Ally jumped with fright. She turned around in time to see Cole storming towards his car with a face like thunder.

  “Cole!” she called out but he turned and held up his hand, stopping her in her tracks

  “I am okay,” he said not making eye contact with her and her heart sank. “I just need some space. Please, just go home with Nick.”

  “Let me come with you.” she pleaded.

  “I need some time,” Cole replied but he still didn’t look at her. Instead he looked angrily at Nick. “Nick, take Ms Brody home, now!”

  “Yes sir,” Nick replied and took hold of Ally by the arm.

  Without saying another word Cole turned and climbed into his car and sped away so fast Ally held her breath. All she could do was stand and watch his car as it disappeared out of view. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. He hadn’t blamed her when she was in the house but then he suddenly wouldn’t look at her. What had Steph said to him?

  She turned and marched straight toward the door of Steph’s house but Nick grabbed her arm tighter.

  “Don’t Ally,” he pleaded as if he knew just what she was thinking. “Leave it.”

  “I need to know what happened,” Ally begged looking up at Nick.

  “And you will,” he reassured her. “Mr Thomas will tell you, he just needs some time.”

  Ally just stood and stared at him, feeling completely helpless and broken.

  “Please,” he pushed her. “Let me take you home.”

  Ally knew she had no choice. It was with a heavy heart that she headed back to the Rover and climbed inside before Nick closed the door behind her.

  Ally sank into the back seat and couldn’t hold the tears back and she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

  Nick never said a word the entire drive back to Cole’s apartment. When they reach the car park of the building Ally climbed out and followed Nick to the lift without saying a word or even looking up at him.

  They rode up to the penthouse in the lift in complete silence. Ally had managed to stop crying but her heart felt heavy and the nauseous feeling in her stomach had returned. She was completely stressed out.

  “I will make you some tea,” Nick said surprising Ally as they walked into the penthouse together. “You need something warm and sweet. You have had a shock.”

  Ally just nodded and followed him to the kitchen without saying a word. She sat on the highs stool at the breakfast counter and stared into space.

  She wanted Cole. She needed to know he was okay. She closed her eyes and all she could see was the look of anger on his face as he told Nick to take her home.

  “There you go,” Nick’s voice snapped her out of her daydreams. Then to Ally surprise he sat down next to her with a cup of tea for himself.

  “Thank you,” she said as she lifted up the cup and brought it to her lips. They both sat in
silence.

  “He will be back,” Nick said, finally breaking the silence. “He just needs to calm down.”

  “You didn’t see his face,” Ally said sadly as the memory of Coles face as he stood in the door way of Steph’s living room crashed into her mind and her heart ached.

  “Cole is a very proud man,” Nick said and Ally was surprised to hear Nick refer to him as Cole. “But he loves you Ally, of that I have no doubt. He just needs some space. And a chance to calm down. Process what has just happened.”

  Ally didn’t reply. She just quietly finished her tea then stood up and picked up her handbag off the counter.

  “Think I will just go lay down,” Ally said as she placed her cup into the dish washer. “Thanks for the tea Nick. And for today.”

  “Ally,” Nick called as she was almost out the door. “Things will work out. I promise.”

  “I hope so,” she replied with a sad smile before she turned and walked out. She made her way to the bedroom. She walked to the edge of the bed and sat down. She stared out at the city. Ally knew Cole was somewhere out there but she had no idea where. Or if he was okay.

  She reached for her bag, she had thrown on the end of the bed and pulled out her phone. There were some missed calls. She went through them quickly. There was two from her grandmother, and one each from Hannah and Caitlin, but nothing from Cole. She called up her contacts and scrolled down to Cole’s number. She pressed the call button. She willed him to answer but it just went straight to his voice mail. Ally took a deep breath and waited for the beep.

  “Hey, it’s me. Please call me and let me know you are okay. I’m worried. I understand you need space. Please just let me know you are okay. Cole I’m sorry. I love you.”

  She pressed end on the call and held the phone. She waited and waited for a call to come but none came.

  She kicked off her boots and reached for the pillow on Cole’s side of the bed and brought it to her face. She could smell Cole on the pillow and her heart ached. She wanted him. She wanted to know he was okay. She needed to know they were okay. She curled into a ball on the bed and held his pillow close to her and sobbed into it. She finally closed her eyes and gave over to the exhaustion that had suddenly took hold.