CHAPTER XLIV
For a man of Lester's years--he was now forty-six--to betossed out in the world without a definite connection, even though hedid have a present income (including this new ten thousand) of fifteenthousand a year, was a disturbing and discouraging thing. He realizednow that, unless he made some very fortunate and profitablearrangements in the near future, his career was virtually at an end.Of course he could marry Jennie. That would give him the ten thousandfor the rest of his life, but it would also end his chance of gettinghis legitimate share of the Kane estate. Again, he might sell out theseventy-five thousand dollars' worth of moderate interest-bearingstocks, which now yielded him about five thousand, and try a practicalinvestment of some kind--say a rival carriage company. But did hewant to jump in, at this stage of the game, and begin a running fighton his father's old organization? Moreover, it would be a hard row tohoe. There was the keenest rivalry for business as it was, with theKane Company very much in the lead. Lester's only available capitalwas his seventy-five thousand dollars. Did he want to begin in apicayune, obscure way? It took money to get a foothold in the carriagebusiness as things were now.
The trouble with Lester was that, while blessed with a fineimagination and considerable insight, he lacked the ruthless,narrow-minded insistence on his individual superiority which is anecessary element in almost every great business success. To be aforceful figure in the business world means, as a rule, that you mustbe an individual of one idea, and that idea the God-given one thatlife has destined you for a tremendous future in the particular fieldyou have chosen. It means that one thing, a cake of soap, a newcan-opener, a safety razor, or speed-accelerator, must seize on yourimagination with tremendous force, burn as a raging flame, and makeitself the be-all and end-all of your existence. As a rule, a manneeds poverty to help him to this enthusiasm, and youth. The thing hehas discovered, and with which he is going to busy himself, must bethe door to a thousand opportunities and a thousand joys. Happinessmust be beyond or the fire will not burn as brightly as itmight--the urge will not be great enough to make a greatsuccess.
Lester did not possess this indispensable quality of enthusiasm.Life had already shown him the greater part of its so-called joys. Hesaw through the illusions that are so often and so noisily labeledpleasure. Money, of course, was essential, and he had already hadmoney--enough to keep him comfortably. Did he want to risk it? Helooked about him thoughtfully. Perhaps he did. Certainly he could notcomfortably contemplate the thought of sitting by and watching otherpeople work for the rest of his days.
In the end he decided that he would bestir himself and look intothings. He was, as he said to himself, in no hurry; he was not goingto make a mistake. He would first give the trade, the people who wereidentified with v he manufacture and sale of carriages, time torealize that he was out of the Kane Company, for the time being,anyhow, and open to other connections. So he announced that he wasleaving the Kane Company and going to Europe, ostensibly for a rest.He had never been abroad, and Jennie, too, would enjoy it. Vesta couldbe left at home with Gerhardt and a maid, and he and Jennie wouldtravel around a bit, seeing what Europe had to show. He wanted tovisit Venice and Baden-Baden, and the great watering-places that hadbeen recommended to him. Cairo and Luxor and the Parthenon had alwaysappealed to his imagination. After he had had his outing he could comeback and seriously gather up the threads of his intentions.
The spring after his father died, he put his plan into execution.He had wound up the work of the warerooms and with a pleasantdeliberation had studied out a tour. He made Jennie his confidante,and now, having gathered together their traveling comforts they took asteamer from New York to Liverpool. After a few weeks in the BritishIsles they went to Egypt. From there they came back, through Greeceand Italy, into Austria and Switzerland, and then later, throughFrance and Paris, to Germany and Berlin. Lester was diverted by thenovelty of the experience and yet he had an uncomfortable feeling thathe was wasting his time. Great business enterprises were not built bytravelers, and he was not looking for health.
Jennie, on the other hand, was transported by what she saw, andenjoyed the new life to the full. Before Luxor and Karnak--placeswhich Jennie had never dreamed existed--she learned of an oldercivilization, powerful, complex, complete. Millions of people hadlived and died here, believing in other gods, other forms ofgovernment, other conditions of existence. For the first time in herlife Jennie gained a clear idea of how vast the world is. Now fromthis point of view--of decayed Greece, of fallen Rome, offorgotten Egypt, she saw how pointless are our minor difficulties, ourminor beliefs. Her father's Lutheranism--it did not seem sosignificant any more; and the social economy of Columbus,Ohio--rather pointless, perhaps. Her mother had worried so ofwhat people--her neighbors--thought, but here were deadworlds of people, some bad, some good. Lester explained that theirdifferences in standards of morals were due sometimes to climate,sometimes to religious beliefs, and sometimes to the rise of peculiarpersonalities like Mohammed. Lester liked to point out how smallconventions bulked in this, the larger world, and vaguely she began tosee. Admitting that she had been bad--locally it was important,perhaps, but in the sum of civilization, in the sum of big forces,what did it all amount to? They would be dead after a little while,she and Lester and all these people. Did anything matter exceptgoodness--goodness of heart? What else was there that wasreal?
Jennie Gerhardt: A Novel Page 44