by KM Lowe
Lisa shifts in her seat and she sits back with her coffee cup in hand. Her eyes focus on the fruit bowl in the middle of the table. I try to get into her head, but she’s learning to keep her walls up.
"Joel is one of us, babe. You can be honest here. No one is going to judge you," I say through our mind link.
She looks up slowly to me. "I don't know. It doesn't help that I haven't seen my wolf." She rolls her eyes.
"What, you don't believe you’re a wolf?"
"I don't know. I believe you all think I'm a wolf. I believe the story about my birth parents, but I don't get what use I am to my birth father. Why now? None of it makes sense. I can't connect the dots, and each day just makes it more and more complicated."
Joel looks between Jasper and me, clearly wondering what the hell he has to say now. This is the most Lisa has opened up, and none of us want her to clam up again.
"Okay. Jasper, you have a lot of work on your hands. It’s one thing training a wolf, but training a wolf that doesn't believe she’s a wolf is going to be impossible…"
"Wait a minute,” Lisa interrupts. “I didn't say I didn't want to train, or learn about your pack. I'm just sceptical. Wouldn't you be if you got this information dropped on you like a bomb? I've always had strong feelings for Markus, but this mind link thing is new. This deep connection is new."
Joel pushes his plate away and pushes his chair out, scraping it across the wood flooring. "How? That's the only link that Alphas have, or mated wolves... You're not..." Lisa shakes her head and puts her cup down. "Come with me. Markus, I'll be back for you in ten minutes." Joel stands up and abandons his coffee.
"Wait. I've not got clothes on," Lisa protests.
"And? You've got more on than some people in the pack. Get a move on."
Joel isn’t taking no for an answer, and Jasper just sits back and watches the scene unfold. I want to object, but I don’t want to be one of those overbearing wolves that speaks and acts for his mate. Of course, I want to rip Joel's throat out for touching Lisa, but I know I need to let her find her way.
The moment Lisa leaves the cabin, I turn back to Jasper and lift my hands in the air as if to say what was that all about?
"Lisa's fine with Joel. My guess is that he's going to start her education on wolves."
That's my concern. What if she isn’t ready? She has a way of shutting down or hiding her emotions when she comes to something she doesn’t want to hear.
Let the fun begin… Or not.
Chapter 13
Lisa
"Joel, where are you taking me?" I shout as I jog beside him.
I'm out with just short pyjamas and flip flops on. My thin robe isn’t hiding much flesh, not to mention that it's a fresh morning out here.
"I'm taking you to talk with Morag, my guardian. She is old school. She will blether with you all day if need be."
"What good is that going to do? Let's face it, I'm not exactly willing to believe I'm a wolf unless you can make me shift. Then I'll believe it."
"Oh, I intend to show you your wolf before the week is out."
What?
I jog to keep up with Joel, and exercise at this time of the morning isn’t my forte. How can he be so alive and energetic? Joel stops dead and I crash into his back. I peer around his shoulder and take in the small cottage. The wild flowers and bushes are starting to bloom. It’s very homely.
"Here's my boy. Come and give me a hug," says Morag as she rounds the corner of her cottage.
"Hey. Anyone would think you haven't seen me for weeks."
"Two days. Forty-nine hours. I'm getting withdrawal symptoms." She brushes her hands down Joel's shirt to straighten it out and looks over to me. I felt insecure being around strangers. I wasn’t the type to be open and mingle willingly, and right now, my palms are sweating, even though it’s freezing out here. I don’t want to impose. I wish I could vanish away from prying eyes. "Who do we have here?"
"Morag, this is Lisa. Jasper's wee sidekick. Anyway, I need your help. She needs your help. God. We all need your help." Joel is getting flustered and I can’t stop myself from smiling at his irritation.
"What's wrong?" asks Morag.
"Can you talk with Lisa today? Discuss the pack, what we do, and persuade her that she's a wolf?"
"Wow!" Morag waves her hands in the air and looks at Joel like he’s crazy. "Back up. I'm lost."
Joel sighs, takes my wrist, and makes me stand in front of him, in between him and Morag. "Lisa hasn't shifted before. She is the mate of Jasper's laddie. She has the mind link connection, but has never been a part of a pack before. Never mated. She’s new to this life. She’s going to need all the help she can get."
Now his irritation has rubbed off on me. "I can speak for myself," I snap, and shake my head with annoyance. "Hi. I'm Lisa." I shrug my shoulders softly.
"And Jasper knows you're here?"
All I can do is nod, because the last thing I want to do is open my mouth and offend older pack members.
"Okay. Come in, my dear. Joel, get away with ye. I'll take care of little Lisa."
Little Lisa. What is it with everyone calling me that?
"Be nice," Joel says over my shoulder.
I’m about to turn around and give him a piece of my mind, but I see he was talking to Morag, not me. When he backs away from us, I turn back to Morag and she looks into my eyes like she can read me. It should creep me out, but I feel calm and relaxed.
"Come on, hen. I'll make us a brew."
I’m rooted to the spot as Morag walks into her cabin. I shake my head in disbelief that I’m standing here. The whole scene feels like a book I would pick up and read, but instead, this is reality. There’s nothing fictional about any of this.
***
The first couple of hours I've been here with Morag, we talked about me, my life, what I know about my birth mother, my concerns. It was just a get to know me session, and it relaxed me. Strangely enough, I feel like I've known Morag all my life. One thing I love about wolves is that they seem to be accepting. They're friendly. Warm. Open. All the characteristics I love in a person.
"So, Lisa. Tell me what you hope to gain from being here?" asks Morag.
I take in a deep breath and exhale slowly. "Apart from ceasing my father’s existence, I don't know. Will I ever be able to live a normal life again? My parents have done so much for me over the years. They've never treated me as anything less than their own child. I don't want to lose them." I will my tears to stay away.
"Why would you lose them?"
I shrug and look out of the window. I hope all the answers will come to me and I'll be able to live happily ever after. Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?
"I just don't see how I can have it all - the family, the wolf, Markus, and Jasper. Something will have to give and I can't choose. If what everyone keeps telling me is the truth, Markus is my mate. "
"That changes things slightly..."
"Why?" I sit up straighter and concentrate on Morag.
"Well, if Markus is your soulmate, you can't not be with him. If you decline your mating, your bond, your wolf will take over you. You’ll go crazy."
And here was me thinking things couldn't get any crazier.
"Thanks for that info, Morag. Okay. Hypothetical question. I know I love Markus. Everything has happened so quickly this week, but he has been there for me all my life as a friend. Now we've crossed into a sexual relationship, there will be no going back. However, if we did walk away from one another, how long would it take for us to... lose it?"
"There is no definite answer, my dear. From what I've heard from others, it depends on how strong you are as a person. It depends how long you can fight your wolf. You seem to be repressing your wolf for some reason. Have you spoken with Stracey, our pack healer?"
I shake my head. "What does a healer do?" I keep hearing about a pack healer, and apart from what I've read in books, I have no idea what the right terminology is.
"A pack healer is s
omeone dedicated to treating our wounded or ill wolves. Our pack healer is extra special because she carries a lot of power. Healing power. Stracey is best to ask, but from what I can gather, her ancestors go back many, many centuries. She learnt her craft from the best, and there is nothing she can’t heal.”
"I keep expecting to wake up at any moment. Wolves, witches, spells, healing... I've even been told there are dragons and vampires. I'm not sure I want to find my wolf, Morag." I laugh with nerves, not with amusement.
"Of course you do. Having a wolf is a gift from the Goddess. She will appear when she's good and ready, but come with me and I'll introduce you to our healer."
Morag stands up and opens her front door. She looks back at me and I stand up slowly. I'm scared to meet the healer. Thinking about spells and witches makes my mind go into overdrive. They can do crazy things with their minds, and I don't stand a chance in human or wolf form.
"Don't look so worried. Stracey is a lovely person. She'll do anything to help any of us. Her powers are phenomenal. That's why Julian keeps her here. We see all walks of life come through our pack because we're so close to the council. Stracey helps them no matter what their background is. However, she has a special friendship with Jasper, so she will do anything she can to help you."
I need to get out of my own head because in any reference I've come across where witches are concerned, they aren't always portrayed as nice characters. Now here I am going to go face to face with a pack healer. "If anyone can help you find your beast, Stracey is your woman."
I smile softly, but deep inside, I’m terrified. I know if I have half a chance of killing my biological father, getting my revenge for my mother, and showing this pack that I'm more than capable of looking after myself, my wolf needs to make her appearance. Quickly. Saying that, I'm stuck in a catch twenty-two, because, on one hand, I'm desperate to see my wolf in real life and not in my dreams, but on the other hand, I'm a bag of nerves. Of all the people this could happen to, I should be one of the last people considered for this role. I'm the complete opposite to how a wolf shifter should act. The only things I have going for me are my attitude and mouth. Anything else, I'm lacking.
"Here we are. Stracey!" Morag calls from a few feet away from the healer’s door. There’s no answer and a part of me hopes she isn’t home, but that isn’t the luck I have.
"Morag. To what do I owe this pleasure?"
I jump out of my skin and turn to see a small young woman walking towards us from the forest area. She has a basket over her arm covered in cloth. Her long red jacket trails down to her ankles, and her long dark hair flows over her shoulders. She reminds me of Little Red Riding Hood. I laugh to myself, because what a coincidence that I'm surrounded by wolves, and here is a young woman who represents a fictional character that gets eaten by the big bad wolf.
"Hello, my dear. I'd like you to meet, Lisa. Lisa, this is Stracey, our healer."
"Hi." I hold out my hand to her and she shakes it gently. "Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you over the years from Jasper..."
I freeze.
My body tenses and I feel faint. Not because Jasper has spoken about me; I wish it was. No. This is... weird.
My world is spinning.
I’m dizzy.
My vision is gone.
My wolf.
A large, grey beast stands in front of a lake. A beautiful lake surrounded by wild flowers, trees, and mountains. The wind blows against my fur, and I inhale the rich scents of the forest. Everything seems so much stronger as a wolf. I feel alive. I feel powerful. Confident. None of those things are me as a person. This beast is everything I'm not. She's the other half of me. Together we're one.
I look over the water’s edge and see my reflection staring back at me. This is really me. She’s beautiful. Blue sparkling eyes gaze back at me, but the water ripples, and my reflection fades slowly.
"Give her some space."
I hear voices around me, but my head is heavy. I try to open my eyes but pain shoots through my head. I feel electrical currents behind my eyes and every part of my body is pulsing.
What the hell is happening to me?
"Lisa!"
I hear Markus, and heavy footsteps approach me. His warm hand on my cheek makes me crack my eyes open. "Baby, what happened?"
I try to look around myself, but all I can see is blue sky above me, and Markus and Stracey watching me. "I don't know. Where am I?"
"You fainted, honey," says Stracey, running her hand over my forehead. "How do you feel?"
"Okay. I think. My head is sore, but I want to get up." I hate lying on the cold, dirty ground, but before I can do or say anything, Markus scoops me up into his arms and I hear someone tell him to take me inside. Right now, here in his arms, it soothes my soul. The pain in my head eases and I feel better. More than better. Something has changed.
"Let her lie down here for a little while. Morag, make some sweet tea, please."
Markus lays me down on a couch and kneels beside me. Jasper leans over the back of the couch and lets his hand rest on my cheek. His fatherly touch means a lot to me right now. "How are you, sweetheart?"
"I saw my wolf, Jasper. She's grey. She's... beautiful."
Just saying those words freely has my heart pounding in my chest. I want to see her for real. Not just in some crazy vision.
"That's a good sign. What happened?"
"I'm not sure. I was introduced to Stracey, shook her hand, and the next thing I know I'm waking up to all of this. We were at some lake. It was beautiful. The scenery. The scents. I wish I knew where it was."
I feel like I’m in a dream-like state again as I think about my vision, but I catch Markus looking at Jasper with concern on his face. I lift my hand and place it over his cheek. It breaks his stare-off with his dad and makes him smile at me. "What is it?"
"Nothing. I think I know where your vision took place, and I'll take you when you're feeling up to it..."
I start to sit up quickly but Markus doesn’t move, and he lets his spare hand rest on my chest to make me lie back down. I’m getting excited over a place I saw in my head. How sad am I? "I'm okay, Markus. You don't understand. All my dreams have been in the same forest... here. Why? It clearly means something. How would I know about this place before? I've not been here before. It means something, Jasper."
Jasper nods and stares through me for several seconds before saying, "We'll figure it out."
"The lake isn't going anywhere. We'll get Stracey to check you over. You can rest, have some sweet tea, and then we'll see about going out to the lake. It isn't far from here, but it's far enough if you're feeling weak," says Markus.
"You don't get it." I huff like a petulant child. "I don't feel weak. For the first time in my life, I feel like I could take on the world. My wolf is everything I'm not. I will learn from her." I beam up at Jasper and he turns and sits on the back of the couch. His smile is so bright.
"Here we go, Lisa." Morag hands me a cup of tea and I carefully take it from her. "I loved the Lisa I spent the morning with, but something has shifted. You seem... different. You told me not an hour ago that you didn't care to meet your wolf. This is a magnificent change." She beams at me.
"Thank you, Morag. I feel different. This is good, right?" I look up at Jasper for conformation, but he holds his hand out to Stracey and she stands in front of me and stares through me for a minute.
"I think it is good, yes. Do you want me to tell you what I think happened?"
I nod and take a sip of the tea. By God, it’s sweet. Morag would have been as well giving me the sugar bowl to eat.
"You haven't been brought up as a wolf. You've suppressed that side of your life. In a pack, from when young pups can walk and talk, they get made to understand what we are, where we come from, and what we do. You haven't had that. Being here has made you think about yourself. It has opened your mind up to the possibilities, but when you shook my hand, I had my barriers down, which I shouldn't have, but my hea
ling power jolted your wolf. The fact that you could see her and feel what she was feeling was good. Your wolf is lying dormant. We just need to find a way to fully waken her."
"I was still thinking as me, though."
"Come by tomorrow morning at nine, and we'll try another healing session. Controlled this time, so you don't faint. Only this time, I want you to communicate with your wolf. Get to know her. Is that okay with you, Jasper?"
"It is, but you need to ask Lisa if she wants to do that."
I was ready to jump down Jasper’s throat for acting on my behalf, but then he gave me the chance to speak myself. He listened to what I want, and I feel love and pride radiate from me. "Thank you, Jasper. Yes, I think I would like to do that, Stracey. If one vision can make me feel so happy and alive, I can't wait to meet my beast."
Every set of eyes is on me and I find myself fixed on Markus as he caresses my hand with his.
"What happened?"
We all look to the door way where Carlos stands. He looks like he’s been running.
"It's okay. Lisa fainted, but we think it was all down to the healing powers of Stracey," Jasper explains to the Alpha.
"What? Jasper, have you lost your mind? Healing powers help, not make people faint."
"Come with me and I'll fill you in." Jasper turns back to me and lifts my chin to look at him square in the eye. "Do as you’re told. I don't think my heart can take anymore frights this week."
"I'll try." I laugh. "Go!" I push his hand off me and I can see he’s torn between staying here with me and filling the Alpha in.
"Markus, tie her to the damn bed if she doesn't stay in it," Jasper says as he pats Markus' back.
"Thank you, Morag. You have really helped me today. I'll never forget that." I beam.
"Nonsense. You did it all yourself. I just told you what you needed to know. I suggest these airheads don't hide anything from you as well."
"Morag!" Joel screeches and holds his hand over his chest as if his guardian ripped his heart out. "Airheads. Really?"