by Xyla Turner
Leaving my money on the counter, I stalked off toward the men’s room. My chest felt tight, beads of sweat began to form on my forehead and my breathing seemed a bit labored. I shouldn’t have had that double bacon cheeseburger but that didn’t explain the feeling.
On my way to the pisser, I saw Shay of all people.
“Bear,” she acknowledged me, which was weird.
I blamed it on the baby hormones messing with her no-nonsense personality. My head nodded as I kept walking but she stopped.
“Bear?” she called, causing me to turn around. “Are you alright?”
“Hmm,” I grunted as I kept walking towards the bathroom.
She must have notified Bronx because a few minutes later, he came barging through the door as I was putting water on my face to calm the fuck down.
“Brother? You okay in here?” he asked with eyebrows pulled together and standing guard at the door.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Feeling like shit.”
“What happened?” Bronx asked. “You were fine fifteen minutes ago.”
Then he leaned in and asked, “This got anything to do with Dessy?”
My eyes shot to him before I snapped, “Dessy?!?”
That reaction must have explained it all because instead of concern marring Bronx’s features, a smile formed on his face.
“What are you going to do?” he asked as if he was for damn sure, it was about her. “You been pussy-footing around for what a year now. She’s not going to wait. You’re not getting any fucking younger and honestly Bear, what are you scared of?”
My heart started to beat a little faster when I heard the word scared and then it hit me.
I was fucking scared.
That little thing in there had me scared to death of moving forward. I wasn’t doing shit, no relationship or even fucking someone for that matter.
I was just plain scared and now I was moments away from losing her altogether.
Someone had made a threat that had us Guardians on guard and the women with tails following them all the time. I felt like that was me protecting her but if she left, I couldn’t do that any longer. It seemed the Vipers were laying low but those pictures of the recon they did on us told a different story. They were planning something and we needed to be ready. I needed to be ready and protecting her in Harrisburg or Mekatown would prove to be difficult.
I also knew if I got close to the sun that was Dessy, I’d definitely get burned by her rays.
This was evident but I was through waiting under the trees and hiding in the shade.
3 - Laundry Day
DESSY
Life in Manor had been great. Moving here was the best decision that I’d probably made in my entire life. Yeah, it was because I was on the run with my boyfriend at the time from some crazy bikers but my life was going nowhere.
Fast.
Once Shay let me stay with her, everything turned around and I was working two jobs, had my own place, essentially, and living the fucking dream. Without the man, of course, but still – it was a dream.
I just wished that dream wasn’t about a certain man who I had vowed to simply let go. He didn’t want me. If I learned anything from that movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, it was knowing when a man was or wasn’t interested.
It was bad enough that a year ago, I acted like a moron. One of the worst kinds, too. My mom was right, I didn’t know shit about how to pick men. If anything, I knew how to pick the wrong ones.
Fucking moron.
Here I was thinking things were about to turn around for the good and I get stood up by Bear. That was a whole year ago. In my head, he was the one that I swore would make it better. To top that off, that night the man came home with a goddamn woman who was going to give him some head to fall asleep. Oh, to put the cherry on the whipped cream, she wanted me to join.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Putting all my eggs in an unknown basket. I wasn't interested in nobody else but Bear, and not only was he a royal asshole, he wasn't interested in me. This was probably why he was pushing me away and I just wouldn't go.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I bought almost all the groceries from Weidman’s that I thought he might like and even borrowed Shay’s car to get there. Then he stood me up and like a moron, I stayed there waiting for him. Groceries on the porch, my heart broken in two and he was a no show until the skank drove up with his drunk ass. At that point, broken was no longer the issue, my heart was crushed. After the skank left, I finished putting all the food away, then I decided to snoop around. He was messy, wore boxers and clearly did not have a woman in his life. All this I gathered from the appearance of his place.
As pissed as I was, I couldn’t help but to clean it up for him. I owed him nothing but I did want to leave something he would remember me by.
I was done chasing him down because as submissive as I could be, he wasn't my Dom. Bear made it clear that he didn't want me. After hearing the stories about Lori, I didn't want that said about me. Although, they had their happily ever after, that wouldn’t happen for us.
So, I'd take the hint.
He didn't want me.
Period.
That day was solidified in my head, just like all the days following that where Bear continued to play with my emotions. It wasn’t until Shay’s wedding that I decided I was done. No more chasing, no more pining after a man who didn’t want me. Of course, I couldn’t date anyone else in the club because there was some unspoken rule that I learned about the hard way. Nobody sparked my interest anyway.
Only Bear.
He didn’t make it any better because he always came to Peppers and would sit near my section at the bar. If I wasn’t working, he’d always sit close to our table. He came to Rigor all the time but after the wedding, I had nothing left to say. I had got so used to ignoring his ass, I’d forget he was there. He didn’t engage me, nor I him. Even Shay noted that she was glad that I had moved on from Grizzly Bear. This was her nickname for him.
The truth was I had tried to move on from him. I worked hard at it but I hadn’t really succeeded. These were the thoughts that plagued my mind, until I figured a sure way to start over was to actually move and start over. I hadn’t told Shay or anyone for that matter but it seemed to be the only way. Being in Manor for the past two years allowed me to gain the confidence I needed to get my life on the right track. It wasn’t until I actually admitted to a patron that I was thinking of moving that it solidified in my mind.
I needed to move so I could be free.
I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK at Peppers or RIGOR the next day which was good because I stayed up all night researching jobs and places to live in Mekatown. I didn't wake up ‘til two o’clock in the afternoon.
It was April and I was in the mood to clean the place. Shay’s apartment was awesome and I was ever so grateful to her, so I always tried to keep it spruced up. The neighbors were great, the location was awesome, and it was a pretty modern home.
The sun was out, so instead of running the dryers, I hung the clothes on the lines Shay had installed in her back yard. Fifteen minutes into the task, I heard the roar of a bike as it came to a stop near my place. I figured it was Bronx and Shay, so I kept hanging the clothes on the line until a gruff voice broke my trance. “I didn't even know people still hung clothes on the line.”
Holy shit.
It was Bear.
Slowly, I turned toward the direction of his voice and asked, “What are you doing here?”
“Hey yourself,” he replied and kept walking toward me.
I turned back around and kept hanging the clothes on the line. This was exactly why I needed to move. He was close to me because I could feel his heat scorching my back, which felt hotter than the sun at that moment.
“Haven’t forgotten what you did,” he said after a while.
I ignored him and kept doing what I was doing.
“Wanted to show you my gratitude,” he continued.
&n
bsp; What in the hell was he talking about?
“The apartment,” he kept talking. “You cleaned it.”
My hand paused in midair with the clothes pin between my fingers.
“That was over a year ago,” I sneered without looking at him.
“Still wanted to show my gratitude,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Uh, right. Well, it's okay, Bear.” My head shook both ways. “Let's call it even. I get it now. You're not interested. We’re good.”
A low groan slipped from him, but I kept hanging up my damp clothes.
He didn't want to play games, so I wouldn't play.
“Even, huh?” he growled. “I still can't find shit. You were making your mark.”
My body jerked around to face him along with my head. “Come again?”
“Oh, you heard me, little girl.” He took another step toward me.
“I did no such thing. You're really that pessimistic?” I snapped.
“Fuck, yeah I am. I was born at night, not last night,” Bear snarled. “You want to make your mark on me? Your lipstick on my balls, your handy work in my house? I don't get to do the same? What the fuck game you trying to play here?”
“Oh my God,” I exclaimed. “Wow! For once in my life, I am not playing any games. Not a one and you're accusing me of playing with you. Are you insane? That was over a damn year ago. I don’t even speak to you. I’m playing no game here. I assure you.”
I shook my head.
He could not be believed.
“Oh, darling. You're playing one whether you know it or not. I'm just here to show my gratitude.”
He folded his arms over his chest.
“Okay, I’ve received it.” I turned back around. “Thanks.”
The man must have moved like a cat because my world went upside down as he lifted me off the ground and turned me over his shoulder for the third time since I’d known the man.
“Bear!” I hit him on the back. “What are you doing?”
He didn't answer me, just kept trucking toward the house. He placed me on top of the kitchen counter and maneuvered his big body to stand in between my legs.
“Want to mark me?” he said through gritted teeth. “Fine, but now it's my turn.”
Holy shit.
Bear’s long fingers grabbed my running shorts along with my panties; easily pulling them down while lifting me. He pushed my tank top up above my braless tits and squeezed them both, eliciting a moan from my mouth.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “You’re gorgeous.”
His eyes perused my body slowly as he took me in. A lie would have been I wasn't aroused. Another lie would have been I didn't want him to take me on that counter. The furthest thing from the truth was what I did.
“Bear,” I pushed him away. “Let's not do this, okay? You had your reasons and they're probably very valid. So, we don't want to cross that bridge. I’m not trying to play any games. Let’s just let it go.”
He stood all the way up, arched one eyebrow in my direction and then both of his hands grabbed my hips and pulled my bottom towards him. Bear’s head descended and he latched onto my sensitive clit.
Holy shit.
“Bear,” I sighed until he shoved two fingers inside of me causing me to scream.
His mouth still had my hardened clit as he licked on it like it was giving him life. Bear’s fingers were pushing in and out of me at a rapid rate. The impending orgasm took me by surprise. I usually came eventually, but within five minutes, never.
“Fuck,” I yelled and grabbed both breasts.
My fingers twisted the nipples as Bear watched me closely with his tongue flicking my nub.
“Ahh, shit,” I yelled out as the orgasm overtook me causing my body to jerk uncontrollably.
“That's one,” Bear growled and licked from my wet pussy to my tight asshole.
“Bear,” I sang, but he didn't stop.
His saliva soaked the entire area as he began to penetrate each hole with a finger.
This was some erotic shit and I was fucking loving it. My moans were loud and my fingers held his thick salt and pepper hair between them. Bear’s tongue continued to flick my clit up and down, building the momentum.
He added another finger to my wet pussy and continued to move in and out of me.
It wasn't long before I started to feel that tingling feeling of fire running through my blood. All of his movements increased in speed, causing me to explode and come apart.
All my energy drained from me and I couldn't even hold on to his hair or lift my head.
Bear pulled his fingers out and said, “That's two.”
Oh no.
I exclaimed, “No Bear, I can't.” My voice wasn't my own as it trembled with the excitement of pure shock.
“Sweetheart, I'm not finished.”
“Okay, but I can't. I have nothing left.”
“You said you were ready,” he said. “Said you'd be ready. In this world, I tell you when you've had enough. You enter in my world little girl, then you'll need to be ready.”
My head stayed on the counter as I didn't quite know what to say. He was referencing something he told me a year ago. This impromptu visit was orgasmic and all, but I just wanted him to leave me alone. Well, I didn't want that but my heart could not really handle what I witnessed that night on his porch. Him coming home with another woman who was about to warm his bed.
No.
There had been Dom’s in the lifestyle who were into those types of relationships but I would never sign up for that. The occasional sharing of a partner while the other participated was one thing but flat out fucking another chick. I couldn't do that, not even for Bear.
“Guess, I'm not ready,” I said as I tried to close my legs and turn to the side.
The tension in the room turned brisk, then my body was pulled up so I was in a seated position.
“No, the girl who stood flat foot in my face and demanded a place in my world said she could handle it. She said she was ready. Fuck, even took my punishment and got me off. So, that's not the case, now?” Bear contemplated me for a bit. Then he whispered, “Fuck. This is about Sheryl?”
I didn't reply but his grey eyes kept penetrating my soul as if he were reading my inner most thoughts.
“I've had an old lady for ten years until she left me and then I had a sub for about six years,” Bear started. “I only have the stamina for one woman at a time. You said something a while ago about the nature of bears. It fucked me up and instead of dealing, I drank. That doesn't happen often. Ask anyone. But Sheryl was driving me home. She's a little too lose for my tastes, so I wouldn't have fucked her.”
The things he was revealing to me was not common knowledge. He was letting me in or at least giving me an opportunity to make an informed decision.
“But you would have let her suck your dick?”
“Maybe? Fuck, I would have been too drunk to remember and then she would have got drunk dick, unlike you who already had me hard as a goddamn rock.”
It was my turn to say nothing again because I was not happy with that answer.
Bear must have also known that because he pulled me closer to him and he asked, “How are you going to give me the promise of you and then stop? Turn around and say you don't want it. You're mad at me, then be fucking mad. But don't act like you're no longer interested, that's what little girls do.”
My blood began to boil to almost uncontrollable at that point. “Bear. I stood on the porch for six goddamn hours because you couldn't man-up and tell me your thoughts. Don't you dare tell me what little girls do and not acknowledge your own shit. On top of that, it was over a year ago.”
“Why did you stay six hours? Any other women in her right mind would have left. What woman waits on a guy for six hours, gives him groceries and then cleans his whole fucking house?” He raised an eyebrow. “You were there because I told you to be there, because you wanted to be there. I have no fucking clue as to the reason, but you were there because
you wanted me. Also, stop this whole shit about it being a year ago. It feels like fucking yesterday. Not just for me. You too.”
My head turned away from him but it didn't stay.
“Look at me,” he commanded.
I obeyed.
“I told you there were rules and the first one is – no outside people unless we both consent. It goes for both of us.”
I nodded my head as Bear moved in and he said, “So no going behind my back to be with Sheryl.”
It wasn't clear why I erupted in laughter but I did. This was met with a searing kiss initiated by Bear that left me speechless. I tasted me and him and it was damned good. So much so that I started to suck on his thick tongue, sending Bear into a frenzy.
His low growl could be felt throughout my body as he quickly picked me up and turned us around so he was sitting on the stool and I was straddling him. Bear pulled back and said, “I'm not taking you today.”
“What?” I exclaimed.
His eyes leveled on mine causing me to shut my mouth.
“Just wanted to show my gratitude,” he repeated and I almost rolled my eyes.
“This isn't gratitude,” I commented. “It's torture. You know I want you.”
“What else do you want?” He looked at me intently. “Yeah, you like Bears and shit, but what the fuck can I offer you? What do you need, protection? You were already under surveillance. Money? Don't have none of that. You...”
“Bear, what's your deal?” I interrupted his ongoing questions. “Huh? Why not you?”
“Fuck, girl. Look at you? I mean, you're fucking beautiful. You could have any man of your pick and you come to fuck with me.”
“Bear, why not you? From what I hear you're loyal, speak your mind, are experienced and big.” I smiled. “Plus, and I can't explain it, but it's you. When I tried to approach you first, you brushed me off. Then we’ve had a few encounters, some random kissing, a flip over the shoulder and now you're here.”
My fingers ran through his long hair and grabbed his ears. “I just want you.”