by Moore, E. M.
So, the vamps were scared. What could we do to show them there was nothing to be scared of? That would be a hard thing to do without coming clean about everything going on. Without throwing in their faces that people had already defied the laws and done whatever they wanted, anyway. In any case, I was finally coming to the conclusion that I needed to be more proactive. Sure, the Ravanas had the power, but what about us? Couldn’t we become the mouthpiece?
With that thought, I propelled toward the finish line and threw myself over, landing in the grass as if I’d just sprinted all out. In reality, I guessed I had. My heart beat like mad in my chest. My breath came out in short gasps. I stared up at the protective mesh above me and smiled. It wasn’t until Samuel walked by that I realized I’d finished first. In that moment, it hadn’t really mattered. I’d given it my all.
“That a girl,” Samuel said, then continued by.
I hoisted myself up and followed after. Train. Graduate. Change the law.
21
When I walked into the gym after our run, I almost took a step back. T.J. stood at the front of the room twirling a wooden stake in his hand. His dirt blond hair with hints of platinum streaks gleamed in the artificial lighting. It stuck to his forehead while moved the stake around like a ninja. He made the dangerous movements into an art form, sometimes throwing the stake up in the air and catching it as it arced down at exactly the right time. Sometimes making big, sweeping movements disguised in beautiful dance-like poses that were really just kill shots.
Students streamed around me on either side, and it was only then that T.J. looked up. He caught my eye and winked. “Ariana, hey. How’s it going?”
He spurred my feet to move. I walked up to him cautiously even though he wasn’t twisting around the stake anymore. “What are you doing here?”
He smiled, but it wasn’t as big as some of the ones I’d seen him use. He shrugged. “Samuel asked me to step in for stake class. I thought, hey, why not? It’s not like I have anything better to do.”
I frowned at that. He did have something better to do. Last I knew, he was keeping the Ravana Estate safe from the rogue vamps.
I glanced down. He’d trapped the stake between two fingers, moving it from his pinky all the way back to his thumb and around again like I’d seen kids do back in high school with a pencil. “You’re pretty good at that,” I said, loving the fact that we were going to get a human guard up in here to show us some stuff. Not only that, but T.J. had real skill. I’d been out on a mission with him before and witnessed it in the flesh.
He gave me a wink. “Wait until you get done with this class; the stake will be like an extension of your arm.”
I liked the sound of that. My fingers itched to touch it, to be as badass, yet graceful at the same time, as he was while wielding it.
T.J. stepped back and told everyone to move to the front and take a seat on the mats. He gave a brief introduction of himself including telling everyone he was a retired guard at twenty-nine. Though my mouth dropped at that, it didn’t faze anyone else in the class like it was old news to them. He’d been the youngest I’d heard of retiring. In retrospect, I’d understood that retiring at upper-twenties and thirties made sense in the vampire world. If thirty-five was a ripe age for them, I could imagine they wanted what they would deem young, fit guards. But realistically, it was amazing they even had enough guards to cover every vampire family.
T.J. had charisma. The whole class was practically lapping at his feet after he gave us a brief spiel. Where Samuel used authority and even an elevated air to get us to listen, T.J. just used his personality. I liked him straight away. Even more now than when we were together at the Ravanas’ Estate.
“Can’t wait to start this class,” a voice spoke up from the back. “I think the stake art will come in handy soon.” With the toneless, almost dead tenor of the voice, his meaning couldn’t be mistaken.
The whole class stilled. I had a feeling I knew who’d said it and only because I’d literally just spoken to him. A quick peek behind me told me I was right. Rick was grinning from ear-to-ear, his jet black hair still damp around his ears from the run.
T.J. even blanched, then looked at the ground briefly before meeting the younger, cockier kid’s face. It was like the age old balance hanging in the ether between us, youth versus wisdom. Strength versus knowledge. My bets were on T.J. through and through. He crossed his arms in front of himself and pierced us all with a hard stare. When he spoke, his voice was somehow more authoritative. He wasn’t playing the good guy anymore, or the jovial one. He was playing the classical one. When he spoke, we wanted to listen. “It’s a shame what has been happening lately. I’m like every one of you.” He tapped the stake against his chest, his gaze flitting over all of us, stopping briefly on me. I leaned forward to hear what he would say. In too many ways, I was still a child in this environment. Here was someone who had lived through all this and came out the other side with great stories and a sweet setup thanks to the vamps. This was who we should all be listening to. He held the stake up from end-to-end between two fingers. “With this weapon comes power. With power comes responsibility. Someone, please tell me why we’re guards.”
T.J. looked around the room, but no one spoke up. Some just blinked at him while others just looked down into their laps. Several thoughts nestled at the tip of my tongue, but once again, that fear of being found out crept up my back, silencing me.
He shook his head, smirking. “This isn’t a test, guys. I want to know, why are we guards?”
Zeke’s deep, gravelly voice spoke up, making my skin crawl. “To protect the vamps.”
“They don’t even need it,” Rick called out. “They’re faster, stronger, and if you listened to them, ten times smarter than us.”
T.J. whirled on Rick again. “So, tell me, why are you here? Why are we guards?”
Rick’s eyebrows furrowed. He spared a brief glance at Shelby, then squared his shoulders to the front of the room again. “That’s just what we do. It’s our job.”
“And if we didn’t have this?” T.J. pressed. The room was silent for a few moments. T.J.’s face was earnest as he stared Rick down. I couldn’t look away from it. “You’re looking at me like I’m crazy, but I want to know. I want you to tell me. What if we didn’t have this?”
Rick laughed. It was short and derisive. “There is no other option. If you don’t make it as a guard, you go into slavery.”
T.J. pointed the stake at him. “Why are you training to be a guard then?”
A quick glance back told me Rick’s fury was about to boil over. He didn’t get what T.J. was trying to do. I wasn’t even sure if I got it completely, but it was a good question. Why were we all here?
It was an easy answer for me. One-by-one an image of each of my princes floated before me. There was Nicolai with his dark smirk. Christian and his pensive expression that made me want to think more, take a deeper interest in things. Connor and his soft blond hair, a knowing twinkle in his gaze. And Stephan with his green eyes that always saw everything in everybody. “Because there are some things worth fighting for.”
T.J. turned toward me, the stake following his movements so it was pointed directly at my heart. I blinked at it, T.J.’s earlier words coming back to me. Weapons were power. Knowledge was power. With power came responsibility. Rick would have us believe we were doomed to the whim of a small group of vamps. But not really. There were good ones out there, too. While there were still good ones, didn’t we all have something to fight for?
T.J.’s brow raised almost undecipherable as he stared at me. Finally, his stake moved away, passing over the crowd. “Anyone else?”
A girl’s voice in the back spoke up. “To make my mom proud.”
“Excellent. Who else has an answer?” A smile crept up T.J.’s face. With the smile, the mood in the room lifted from the gloomy one that Rick started when he opened his mouth.
“To protect people who can’t—won’t—protect themselves.”
T.J.’s eyes flashed. He made waving motions with his fingers. “I need more. Give me more. Why are you sitting here right now? Tell me. I want to hear it.”
“Our own pride,” Zeke said. I caught his gaze for the first time in a long time. A muscle pulled in my stomach, a little tug in my competitive spirit. I knew what he meant. I wanted to take him down this year. I wanted that top spot.
“To protect innocents,” Shannon said, her answer finally tearing my gaze away from Zeke’s dark eyes.
“Bullshit,” Rick erupted. “None of the vampires are innocent.”
Shannon turned around. “What about that new Rajyvik baby, huh? What has he done other than being brought into this world?”
Rick bit his cheek, his throat working. It was clear he still disagreed with her, but he was wise enough to keep his mouth shut. A baby couldn’t protect themselves, and there was no greater innocence than a small child.
A hand slowly raised in the front, drawing T.J.’s attention. He pushed the hand down and smirked. “Just shout it out. What’s on your mind?”
“Why did you want to be a guard?” the girl asked.
Her voice was calm, steady, but the minute the words were out of her mouth, my heartrate skyrocketed. I stared at him, waiting for his reason. Waiting for something akin to a revelation. His eyes gleamed as he stared down at her. He threw the stake in the air and then caught it, his fist grasping the thick side and carefully avoiding the pointy end. “A little of everything mentioned here so far, but I’ll add in this. There’s a difference between right and wrong and good and bad. Sometimes that difference is as plain as the sun on a cloudless day, and sometimes it’s like a rain-spattered windshield. We are the enforcers of that difference. Call me crazy. Call me delusional, but I think being the enforcers of something as ordinary, yet extraordinary, of such a simple, yet complicated notion as good versus evil to be an amazing thing. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
My breath caught in my throat and goosebumps spread over my body. Holy sh— I wasn’t prepared for that. It was like I’d taken a big shot to the chest and was completely knocked on my ass. My ears even started to ring. The bodies around me started to stand and move about the room with a purpose, but I was still down, lost in my own thoughts. T.J. stepped forward. The room parted for him and then went about their business, but my gaze stayed fixed on him. He moved to the back and caught Rick by the arm. Words were exchanged. Looks were given. In the end, Rick pulled his arm from T.J. and stormed out of the room.
I blinked, trying to make sense out of all this, but my brain was still in mid-processing function. Good versus bad. Right versus wrong.
A voice broke through the haze. “I’m coming over to you, Ariana.”
I shook my head and looked to my right. Evan was right there smiling, his hands in the air.
He snickered and looped his fingers into the waistband of his pants. “Didn’t want you to kick my ass again.”
As soon as the ringing ceased, I rolled my eyes. T.J.’s words had given me power, a purpose I hadn’t yet considered before and I was high from it. “You sure? It was kind of fun last time.”
“Not saying I didn’t get a little thrill out of it, but I’d rather not be embarrassed in front of the whole class.” I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. He just laughed at my lack of caring. Then, he continued to make his way over to me. “Want to be my partner?”
I took a step back. “What?”
He hiked his thumb to point at T.J. “We’re supposed to pair up. You want to work with me?”
Jesus, I scolded myself. Way to freak out over nothing. “Sure,” I said. “Thanks.”
T.J. made us all pinpoint where the heart was on our partners and then pulled out a few examples from the class. Shannon and Zeke were at the front, a major difference in their heights, which made a significant difference with where to aim the stake. Where one would pierce the heart for sure, the same spot on Shannon would go right through her neck. Sure, it would cause some damage, but it wouldn’t kill, especially not with a vampire’s superhuman healing powers. If you were ever unlucky enough to fight one, you better make your first shot count because it was unlikely you’d ever get a second.
The whole class struck a chord with me. It was a shame Rick was either kicked out or left on his own volition. Protection against rogue vamps was important right now. They’d all heard the story about what happened at the Ravana Estate. If it could happen there, it could happen anywhere. I wished I’d already taken this class when we came across those three vamps in the alley. I might’ve been able to incapacitate mine. Then, we could’ve brought him back to the estate to interrogate him. Instead, all three got away, leading to the attack on the estate itself. My heart lurched in my chest. I hoped wherever the princes were, they were being kept safe. The rogue vamps seemed to be only going after humans at the moment, but that didn’t mean we all shouldn’t be cautious.
T.J. made the rounds, stopping at each pairing to offer advice and correcting technique. When he got around to us, he smiled down at me and squeezed my shoulder. “You’re lucky with this partner,” he told Evan. “Saw her take out a vamp myself a few days ago.”
A flurry of heat swamped my cheeks. I looked at Evan immediately and shook my head, my embarrassment deepening at the awe in his eyes. “I didn’t kill him.”
“No, she just knocked him on his ass.”
Evan’s hand automatically moved to his lower back. “I know how that feels.”
T.J. walked away laughing, but Evan fixed me with a stare. “You fought…the rogue vamps?”
I nodded, still wary of drawing too much attention to myself. Who knew if Zeke was still gunning for me, and I definitely didn’t need to add a problem with him to my already long list of stresses. I stepped forward and whispered. “Can you keep a secret?”
His lips twitched as he followed my lead. He bent his head closer to mine. “Well, yeah.”
“T.J.,” I said, motioning to our instructor, “And Lex, and—”
“Lex? The Ravanas’ guard?”
I nodded. “Yeah, her and T.J. and another guard took me out to scour the closest city for rogue vamps while I was up at the estate. We found three.”
I whispered it like it was a secret when really, I had no idea if it was or not. It served my purpose anyway. There was no way I wanted any kind of spotlight on myself.
“Wow. They took you on a mission? My dad didn’t mention that.”
I shrugged. “He probably didn’t know.”
“What was it like?”
My mind tried to grasp onto a few words. Exhilarating. Terrifying. Amazing. None of them seemed to accurately portray the right kind of emotion. “It was something else,” I finally said, absently rubbing at the tiny scars on my arm.
Evan followed my movements, so I clamped my hand there, not giving him a chance to see anything. His eyebrows lowered. It was a tiny movement reminiscent of Christian that sent a pang through my heart.
“What?” I asked, knowing that he was thinking about something.
The tops of his ears turned a little pink. “I’m curious…” he said, letting his voice trail off. “You’re so new to all this. You were brought here without a choice. Why are you still here?”
Maybe I had a choice at first. I didn’t think I had, not really. But now it wouldn’t have mattered. I wasn’t leaving my princes—my life—behind. No way in hell.
I shrugged, trying to sound all casual when he’d just asked me the most important question there was. “I think it’s important to protect the good things in this world.”
22
By the time lunch rolled around, it was as if I had a second stomach and each one of them was growling with hunger pains. That would serve me right not to eat breakfast again. When would I ever learn that I needed to fuel my body correctly when I was going to work out like that? It was like Guard Training 101, yet the concept always seemed to escape me. Especially of late.
Evan seemed to be taki
ng over the role of guide dog all day today. Not only did we eat lunch together again, but he’d somehow finagled it so that instead of sitting on the opposite side of me like at breakfast, he was seated to my left by the time I sat with my lunch tray. Shannon and Liv wiggled their eyebrows, but for the love of God, I had way more important things to think about. Evan shouldn’t have even been on my radar.
He droned on next to me as we walked across campus and was still mid-story when we crossed the threshold into an actual classroom in the main building. I vaguely remembered it as the room I’d first talked to all my princes in. The small table still sat at the back. I remembered Nic sitting on the actual table when Christian escorted me in. I remembered how he’d loped toward me with his sly, dark expression. How he’d kissed my hand, and I didn’t flinch one bit, never occurring to me that I should be afraid of them.
Why this room?
I slunk forward after a hand fluttered close to the small of my back. There was definitely no need for touching. Sooner or later, I was going to have to talk with Evan about this crush thing. I’d tell him I was too preoccupied with my guard duties for now to start up a relationship with anyone. Then maybe it would spread through the class like wildfire to avoid any future attempts at flirting. I wouldn’t mind a friend right now, but to have to constantly avoid someone because you were afraid every word, every touch meant something more to that person than it did to you was exhausting.
I took the closest seat, just to try to get away. It wasn’t until I looked up that I realized I was in front of the class. I turned around, but the back seats had already been taken. Figured. I was never one to like the front of the class in regular school, but who knew? Maybe I’d get used to it here. Evan, of course, sat on my right. His attempts at getting me to talk were becoming ridiculous. It was hard to think of one-word answers just to fend him off. By the time footsteps sounded in the hall, I almost couldn’t wait for this vamp-human politics class to start. I stared down, feeling a little off. Maybe it was just from my normal high school experience, but I felt a little naked at not having anything on my desk. No notebook. No pen. Were we supposed to take notes here? I quickly looked around and saw that everyone else had come in the same as me—clear desks, no writing utensils.