by Moore, E. M.
“Dance?” I asked, almost choking. I looked around briefly before I shook my head at myself. This was what we wanted to accomplish for tonight, wasn’t it? To show the vampires that we were more like them and not some species to be afraid of. I shook the weirdness off and told him, “Sure. Just so you know, I’m not very good though.”
He leaned over. “I’m not either so let’s hope they don’t judge us too harshly. I mean, you would think they would much rather us be good at saving their lives than having a right and a left foot.”
I laughed and followed as he led me onto the outskirts of the dance area. The chandelier in the middle of the room shone off the glass casting sparkles and diamonds all over the place. The room held a magical quality because of it. Something I would’ve dreamed about when I was younger, like an actual princess at a ball. It was definitely something I never thought I’d be a part of. The feeling especially set in when four sets of eyes landed on me. Not just any sets of eyes either. Eyes that belonged to those I loved and knew would love me in return no matter what. When my mom died and I was passed around the system, I often thought I’d never find one person to love me, let alone four.
T.J. placed his hand around my back and took my hand in his other. I allowed him to lead me around the room and soon we found a rhythm that didn’t shame us. “It’s kind of hard to pull you away from the princes. They act like you’re their pet.” I frowned, my eyebrows furrowing. Was that what people thought? Or was T.J. just jealous? “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “That wasn’t nice. They just kind of act like you’re theirs, which I guess is kind of true. I just don’t remember them ever doing that to Lex is all.”
“I guess we are pretty close,” I said, looking to the sidelines and finding Christian staring at us. I gave him a small smile, and then returned to talking to T.J. “Probably a product of them bringing me here. They didn’t just get the best guard in the trainee class, they actually brought me here for them. There’s a bond there that Lex and them probably didn’t have. Just speculating.” I smiled, hoping I hadn’t said too much. He seemed to take it for what it was, and we didn’t talk anymore about the Ravanas after that. We went right into other important things. “Why do you think Soren wanted to talk to me? He seems preoccupied with the fact that I’m going to be the Ravanas’ guard. Do you think that’s it? He’s told me more than once now that I was going to die because of it.”
T.J.’s features twisted. “Lex and I were trying to figure the same thing out. It’s almost as if he has some sort of empathy for you, which is odd for someone who wants to take out the family you’ll be working for. Not sure I quite understand it yet.”
“Well, I’d like to talk to him again tomorrow if it’s okay with Lex. If I can get him talking, hopefully he’ll reveal something he didn’t mean to.”
“We were thinking the same thing. That was the most he talked in a week. In fact, the first thing he asked when he came to was whether or not he’d killed you. I don’t think he expected you to jump in front of his stake.”
“He obviously doesn’t know me very well then.” I searched the room. Vamps stood and talked in groups. I’d met and spoke with all of them tonight and not one of them held an air of superiority and all seemed genuinely thankful for “my service” they called it. “What do you think about tonight?” I asked.
T.J. chuckled to himself. “It’s definitely something different. This is unprecedented. On one hand, it actually feels like progress is being made. On the other, I’m kind of just looking around waiting to see what this is all about. Stupid, I know, but when you’re not used to being recognized for something you’ve done, this kind of celebration is out there.”
“I get it,” I told him. T.J. wasn’t the first one to express those kinds of thoughts with me. The Ravanas were radicals for their time. I truly believed they were trying to bring about change for their world. “Whatever it is, I’m glad we’re a part of it.” I looked up to find his eyes focused on me. I recognized that look and quickly started talking to cover it up. “I mean, whatever change we can help bring about for guards is a good thing.”
Thankfully, the song ended. Just as the last note was being played, Christian showed up at my side and asked T.J. if he could cut in for the next song. I breathed a sigh of relief when T.J. smiled and nodded. The beginning notes of a new song started, and Christian pulled me close. In his arms, I felt much more comfortable. The steps, and the movements, came much easier this time around, and for once, I actually felt like I was dancing, not just stepping across the floor.
Christian squeezed my hand to get my attention. “I think you might have to tell that guard that you’re not interested in him. Nicolai’s talking about punching him again, and I can’t say I’m discouraging it.”
“Jealousy?” I asked, truly wondering. “You don’t strike me as the jealous type, Christian.”
His face reddened. “I guess I’m usually not. I’ve actually been thinking about this lately, trying to understand why I just don’t like him.”
“Have you come up with anything?”
He shrugged. “It’s not that I worry about you having feelings for him. At first, that’s what immediately came to my mind.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he silenced me with a quick squeeze around my middle. “Like I said, that was at first. I think it comes down to the fact that he has a lot more in common with you. We’re two different species, Ariana. At least he’s like you. He also has the same interests as you.”
“You mean he loves you guys too?” I asked, fake sincerity in my voice. I couldn’t help but tease him.
He shook his head. “I mean training and protecting people.”
“See, I think that’s where everyone gets it wrong. It’s not just about helping people, there’s something deeper too. It’s about having a reason to do all that. A reason that’s not selfish. Mine is you guys, the bonds we share, and the fact that life was nothing when you weren’t in it. Maybe that’s why the vampires always get it wrong. You’ve said before vampires are all about self-preservation, but when it’s only for you, it’s not a good enough reason to fight.”
Christian chewed on his lip. His blue gray eyes scorched mine. “You are a genius, Ariana. It’s not just about basic survival.”
“Exactly. What was I doing when you guys saved me from my previous life? Just surviving. That’s not a life, Christian. That’s waking up and going through the motions. That’s staying stagnant in a world that continues to move whether you’re there or not. If you, or your parents, or your brothers, can’t get everyone to understand that there’s more to live for than just preserving, then none of this fighting will have meant anything. We’re going to lose.”
Christian removed his hands from mine and clasped his hands at the back of my neck. “If I could right now, I’d kiss you. Remind me later.” His eyes took on a determination. “Right now though, I have to go find my father.”
He released me and slipped away through the crowd. I watched him go, my chest tightening with pride.
5
Dinner at the Rajyvik’s house was spent schmoozing with more vampires who acted like I was more of a sideshow than an actual person. I didn’t take it personally though. This was a different experience for everyone. A lot of these vampires never treated their guards like anything other than servants so to have one be so well thought of, was basically a novelty. For my part, I smiled and talked and did everything in my power to act as if we were just like them, just trained for a specific purpose. Most of the time, I really enjoyed talking to them. I liked hearing where they were from and meeting their guards. Everyone lived so differently that it was fascinating to hear the intricacies of their lives.
After talking to one clan who lived up in Saskatchewan, I turned to find Shannon and Liv. Both were dressed formally, but the differences in my dress couldn’t be ignored. Mine was just so much more out there that they gawked at me. “Damn, Ariana,” Shannon said. “I can’t believe you’re the same girl who first got h
ere. You’re like two different people.”
I shrugged. “Same person, I’m afraid. Just better dressed.”
“Something like that,” Liv said. “So, uh, did you hear we’re having another party after this one? Strictly for guards and young vamps.”
Of course I’d heard about it. Another attempt at joining the guards and vamps. It was Connor’s idea. If we could change the young people’s minds, the hurdle of vamp-guard relationships would get smaller. “Oh yeah, I’ll be there,” I told them. “Probably not in this dress, but I’ll be there.”
“Cool,” Liv smiled and turned away, but Shannon moved closer.
She grabbed my hand at the wrist. “Hey. I just wanted to tell you how awesome it is that this is happening. More vampires have talked to me this evening than in my entire life. They all want to know what we do at The Fort and if we’re all like you and T.J. It’s kind of amazing.”
Happiness curled in my chest and flowed outward until I was full-on smiling. “That’s great, Shannon.”
“See you at the afterparty,” she said, turning and following Liv through the crowd.
Connor came up behind me and dropped a hand around my shoulder. “More fans, Princess?”
I elbowed him playfully in the gut. “It was just Shannon and Liv asking if we were going to the afterparty.” His eyebrows raised expectantly. “I told them, ‘Duh’.”
He laughed and swung me around before setting my feet back on the floor. “Do you want to know how many vampire families have come up to me today and told me that we’re so lucky to be getting you as a guard? I think some of them are secretly hoping to buy you out.”
“Tell them good luck. I’ve already found the place I want to be.”
“Speaking of…” he said, pulling me to the edge of the room, almost in the shadows. He lowered his voice even though we were close to the cellist and not even vampire hearing was that good. “Nic and I were talking about a certain special occasion you might’ve talked to him about.”
My stomach lurched and another warmth spread through me. “You want to talk about this right now?” I asked, looking back at all the vampires in attendance.
“Why not?” he said, his mouth teasing into a smirk. He shrugged while he laughed. “I just wanted to let you know I wholeheartedly volunteer to be the one.”
His finger bopped me on the nose, and I gave him an exasperated sigh. “Did you tell Nic that? Or the others?”
“Well, no,” he said, staring at the ground. “Not exactly. I just wanted to let you know where my head was at.”
“Nic thinks we should all sit down and talk about it.”
“I think it should be a spontaneous thing. Like, it just happens no matter who it’s with. Maybe we could go up to my room right now and—”
“Connor!” I fake yelled at him. “You are so bad. There are hundreds of vampires here, including your mother and father.”
“Mom and Dad don’t care.”
“That might be possible, but I bet you someone else would.”
Connor’s blue eyes turned soft. He reached down for my hand and squeezed it. “You know I’m just joking, right, Princess? I’m good with whatever you want to do. I can say I’m more than a little excited you’ve decided to take that step with us. Whenever we get to, I know it’ll be special.”
I entwined my fingers through his and gave a quick squeeze. “I know so too. I—”
The lights dimmed and then sputtered to life, effectively cutting me off. For a brief second, my heart turned over, but then Gregor’s voice boomed through the speakers and I immediately relaxed. “It’s time,” Connor said, pushing me through the crowd until we were right in front of his father.
With the microphone perched easily in his hand, Gregor began talking about the blessings they, as vampires, had. Superior abilities, the fountain of youth and life, and to culminate his pretty speech that made me jealous to be only human, he looked at myself, and T.J., who had somehow worked his way to stand next to me, and said, “Along with the security provided to us by our human friends, the guards. Today, we’re here to recognize two superior guards who risked their lives for others, but we could just as easily say that for the other guards too, even the ones living under your very roofs. No matter the relationship you have with them, they are just like the two we’re celebrating tonight. If you didn’t bring your guard with you, please take the time to thank them when you return home. If you did bring your guard with you tonight, I ask that you take a moment or two to turn to them and tell them how grateful you are for their service.” He paused, allowing a myriad of conversations to start up around us. A lady with long, dark black hair tied back in one single pony tail approached T.J. Though her lips moved, I couldn’t hear what she said. I guessed it must have been a member of the clan he was placed with.
“Now,” Gregor said, his voice booming around us. “I’d like to move on to the reason why we are here. A lot of you asked ‘why now?’ Why single out two guards now? Well, the most obvious answer is because we hadn’t needed such a reason in all my years of leading. We are coming upon a time of great threat to our way of life, and in front of you stand two people who not only dealt with one threat but ran into it to save their own and our own. To them, there was no difference. To them, there were only lives that needed saving. Ariana Stuart even threw herself in front of a stake to save the females of the Rajyvik clan. She injured herself for their sake. In theory, we can all say, ‘Well, of course she did. Isn’t that what she’s supposed to do? Isn’t she supposed to risk her life for our own?
“Yes, she is. But let me ask all of you that same question. Would you risk your life for someone? Hers is a bravery some of us would not recognize in ourselves. It is a single reactionary measure that only speaks to the type of person Ariana is. Notice I didn’t say guard, I didn’t place a label on her. She is a person, and she risked her life for another person.” He turned toward the corner of the room as my heart beat like mad in my chest. Wow. I had no idea he thought that way. When someone put it out there like that, when they announced it like that to the world, I sounded pretty damn awesome. “Christian, please bring out the medals.”
I blinked. Medals? Was he serious?
Christian came forward with a wood box. In a plush of blue velvet sat two round, bronze medals. T.J. stiffened beside me, and my heart leapt in my throat.
“These are the first Medals of Valor our world will ever bestow. With people such as those around us, you need only to look right beside you to see others that might be standing up here in a few months or a few years. I know these two won’t be the last. T.J. Carson. Please step forward.”
T.J. moved in front of Gregor. As Gregor listed his activities of bravery, Isabelle Ravana stepped forward to pin the bronze medal to his chest. The whole room applauded, and the sound mixed with my manic heartbeat in my ears. Next, he beckoned me forward, and I saw his hands waving at me more than heard him call my name.
“Ariana Stuart, I give you this Medal of Valor to congratulate you for your selflessness, for your bravery in the time we needed it most, and for your quick-thinking actions that saved lives.” The intensity of his stare burned his words into my heart. Whatever Gregor had thought of me before, I’d changed his mind. I saw nothing but a fondness for me there. I had finally proven myself to him. He was no longer afraid of what kind of problems I would bring to his sons, but what I could do to help not only them, but all of his kind. To see that kind of change in someone, not just any regular old vampire, but Gregor Ravana, tears pricked my eyes, threatening to slide down my cheek and betray my bravery. I cleared my throat and blinked hard to hold them in check as Isabelle pinned the medal to my dress.
In the background, I heard cheers, picking out four voices I would know anywhere the most. When Gregor motioned for me to turn around, Natalie’s mother was right there. She bent forward and kissed my cheek. My mouth dropped open, stunned at the public outpouring of praise. At this moment, the words Gregor said were true. We weren�
��t two different species. We were just people. Just persons celebrating one another.
“I have one more thing to share with you all before we celebrate the rest of the night,” Gregor said. I turned to move to his left again, giving him center stage. He gave me a small smile and then addressed his guests like the king he was. “My son Christian shared something with me earlier that hit in me a way I’m hoping will impact all of you, too. He shared with me a conversation he had with Miss Stuart, a conversation in which she was speaking about how she became so brave. A conversation in which she talked about what guided her to throw herself in the path of a weapon she knew would hurt her only to save someone else.”
I searched for Christian on the opposite side of the stage. He stared at me, his face carefully controlled as he still held the now empty wood box with the blue velvety interior. He swallowed and nodded, and I once again turned my attention to Gregor.
“Some of you might ask yourself what spoke to her to do that, and I mentioned up here about her selflessness and bravery, but what she shared with Christian all of us can relate to, I think. All of us need to relate to it if we want to survive these times. While we continue to receive the attacks of the rogue clans, or humans spurred on by these rogue clans, I want you all to think of one thing. What are we fighting for? Ask yourself right now, what are we fighting for?”
“Now, let me tell you what one trainee said, a trainee who hasn’t even been in our world six months told my son. She said, it’s not about self-preservation. There’s something more. It’s not about basic survival. If we were just fighting to breathe another day, that’s not a good enough reason. You know what is? Fighting to love another day. Fighting to hug your children another day. Fighting to look at your mate in the eyes and know that there’s nowhere else you would rather be. Fighting to protect those around you. Fighting to love those around you. Fighting to secure another day on this Earth to live the way we want to live. That’s what’s worth fighting for.”