by Moore, E. M.
A high-pitched whistle pierced the air. I had only a second to recognize the sound before springing into action. I kicked out, thankfully kicking the stake that was aimed right for Soren’s back out of the air and onto the ground. I came to a rest on all fours only to see Soren lunging for the center of the arena where Dumont stood, his cocky grin not wiped off his face yet. I tried to reach out, but Soren was too quick. His pants slipped right through my fingers. “Get him!” I yelled.
It was Christian and Nicolai who sprang into action. Christian was the fastest so he got to him first, and wrestled with him until Nicolai wrapped his arms around him and they both brought him back to our side.
Dumont dropped the weapon to the ground and shrugged. “Gregor, please do tell your soldiers that the fight is to the death. If death hasn’t happened, it’s not over. Hopefully we can avoid these types of faux pas in the future. I do believe that’s one to one.” He inclined his head. “’Til tomorrow then.”
Dumont disappeared and his lackeys were close on his heels, a blur of green leaves and white streaks as they ran through the path in the forest to get to the house they claimed as theirs.
“Heartless,” Gregor said. He shook his head, staring out into the outcropping.
No one moved for Samuel’s body. Shock still twisted in my mind. It wasn’t until a cry as human as I ever heard fell against the dark skies that spurred people to move. Samuel’s mother pushed through the crowd.
Gregor intersected her and took her hand. “Let us clean him up. Then you may see him. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Samuel was the best of men.”
I blinked, not moving until strong hands gripped my hips and led me away. Stephan stood in the open walkway that led to the makeshift arena as if he’d come out of his triage tent to do something, but there was no one to save this time. No injuries to heal. The area reeked of death. Not in the physical sense, but in the ghastly nightmare of the aftermath when all you wanted to do was wake up, but you never would. Words were spoken behind me and I saw Stephan swallow and then focus on me. He came forward and took my hands, leading me further and further away from the crowd, from the pain of reality.
When I blinked, I saw the car crash in my mind’s eye. I saw the emptiness, the silence, and the blood. That was exactly what Samuel’s family was feeling right now. That altered state where you knew nothing would ever be the same again. Sure, you would get over it in time, but you would never forget. How could you? It was like a raw scab on your life.
Stephan led me into the training rooms until he forced me to sit with my back against the wall. Christian and Nicolai brought Soren in next, placing him next to me. He was much calmer this time, but he was tight like a drawn bow.
When they left, he turned toward me. “Thank you, Young One.”
It took me a second to remember what he was even thanking me for. Then I saw it all in my head again. Samuel being run through with the stake. His dead eyes. Falling to the ground. Then, Soren’s rallying speech, and that one bleached stake soaring in the air aimed right for Soren’s back. “Like you said, you can’t trust them.”
He put his hand on my knee and squeezed. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” I was about to shrug when Soren spoke again. “I think you should know that they wanted you to fight, Ariana. Samuel told me yesterday. He said they chose you, but you were needed elsewhere so they changed their mind. He wanted you to fight.”
My mouth dropped, a silent, longing ‘o’. The last words I spoke to him were in anger. I thought he didn’t believe in me. I’d thought he was treating me as Zeke did, as someone who didn’t belong here. I shook my head. “No. They didn’t choose me. They chose Zeke.”
“They did. I don’t know what happened, but I do know they originally chose you, Young One. Since he’s not here to tell you anymore, I thought you should know.”
Others walked in so Soren and I fell silent, my mind fumbling with what I’d just learned. I was cruel to Samuel. We fought. And all this time, he really had believed in me.
My throat constricted. I swallowed, but nothing helped. Stephan stooped down to my eye level. “Do you feel okay? You look a little pale.”
“Fine,” I said.
He looked up, catching someone’s attention. “Can we get some water over here?”
Stephan caught two bottles, handed one off to Soren and then unscrewed the cap from mine and offered it to me. I took it and drank it gratefully. A howl sounded, and my body locked up. It was Samuel’s mother again, her wails echoing down the estate stone-lined walls like a bad memory.
How did this happen? Not that I didn’t understand that something like this could happen, but in this world, the good men lived and the bad ones died. In the real world, good people died all the time, but not in this one. Not in the one I fought for. What was this world coming to when things like this happened?
Stephan said something else to me, but I only saw his lips move. I couldn’t concentrate enough to actually hear what he said. It was too tough to latch onto the present, mainly because I didn’t want to.
Samuel was dead. And we now had two more fights—at the very least.
A shroud of reality pressed down on the shields I didn’t even know existed. It cracked my armor. It shook my core.
“That wasn’t supposed to happen,” I said.
Soren blinked at me. “No, it wasn’t.”
14
Flashbacks.
Even though I was young, I still remember my mother’s funeral. The somber church music, an organ’s loud notes of impending doom. The way the church looked like a vast, empty wasteland, too big for my little self.
A representative of the state brought me. There were exactly five people in the church. Me, my escort, the priest, and two people who sat in the back who I’d never seen before. Even at that age, I kind of just thought they’d wandered in by accident and stayed because they felt bad someone had died and no one cared enough to show up.
The truth was, there was no one to care. No father. No other family. No best friends. And so I wept silently, hot tears tracking down my pink cheeks while the woman from the state with the black stockings sat like a rigid dummy next to me. She wasn’t unpleasant, but she wasn’t the warm and cozy type either. She was there to do her job, which she did, and straight to the letter.
That was nothing like what was happening now.
Samuel Rajyvik, respected head of the Ravana Clan’s guard training facility, was mourned by many. I didn’t know many of these people, but at least there were people to commiserate with. The ones they couldn’t fit inside the Council room stood outside, hands joined as if the whole clan was in unity tonight. Not even the fights had brought us together as much as this sad event had. In our sadness, we connected. In our shared grief, we came together as one unit.
Even though I stood staring at the Rajyvik coat of arms draped over Samuel’s casket, the events of the last few hours still didn’t seem real. Samuel had won. He’d beat his opponent. The Dumont Clan cheated. They took more than just a win away from us, they took a good soul. They took a man with a family, a man who had an integral position within the clan, and the way this world ran. A man who was respected and looked up to by many—especially me.
I swallowed the sudden onslaught of feelings as they threatened to take me away. I’d been so selfish lately. Pissed off at not just Zeke, but those who’d made the decision to not let me fight. It wasn’t just the last words I’d said to Samuel that bothered me, it was my last thoughts, too. They proved just how selfish I was. Me, me, me. Why Zeke over me? Why wouldn’t they send me in? I recognized I wanted all those things for good reason, but Samuel was absolutely right when he said the decision had been made and I should’ve made the best of it. I should’ve taken on the duties of helping the others without another damn thought about myself. But I didn’t.
My gut twisted. And to think that was Samuel’s last impression of me. Not the strong warrior he’d intended to nurture, but a selfish, spoiled brat who, amongst
everything else going on, including her instructor’s own training for his upcoming fight, demanded to know why she hadn’t been sent in. But no, not only that. I’d also had the gall to tell him he was wrong. Because that’s what everyone wanted to hear right before they were about to fight for their lives.
Connor put his arm around me and pulled me close until we were hip to hip. He was like my shadow these past few hours. I swear he had a sixth sense about the emotions my body had. Every time my thoughts started to swirl, he’d give me a gentle touch, a warm smile, something to pull me back in. He was like a beacon of light. One I didn’t deserve.
How was I going to make this up to everyone?
Even Zeke. He was right to call me out yesterday. I should’ve jumped at the chance to help him. Other thoughts aside, he was the one who was putting his life on the line. In a couple days, even as early as tomorrow, I could be standing in this exact same spot at his funeral. They were giving the ultimate sacrifice, not me. I needed to wrangle my pride in, stuff it in a box, and only reopen it when this awful mess was over. I’d have to make an attempt tomorrow to help him. No matter what. Even if he called me a blood whore again, I’d have to grin and bear it. Just because he didn’t like me didn’t mean he deserved to die.
My throat started to close and my eyes watered. Not because I was going to cry. Oddly enough, I couldn’t. My eyes were just dry and tired from not blinking as I stared at the Rajyvik coat of arms, that fierce dragon. That was Samuel. He’d fought that way too. He’d been amazing. He’d done everything right, and he certainly didn’t deserve to just be gone. He’d won.
A figure stepped into my line of sight, taking away the view of the dragon. I worked my way up to the face and swallowed when I saw Samuel’s sister standing there. She held her hands clasped in front of her and before she could even ask for quiet, the room silenced anyway. “Thank you,” she said.
Connor reached for my hand and entwined our fingers. I squeezed him back.
Up at the front of the room, Natalie stood stoically. She rose just a little above us all on the raised dais in the Council room. They’d been able to rearrange the room for the viewing until Samuel’s family could take him home again. She glanced back at the casket which was flanked on either side by flickering candles. “I just wanted to say that Samuel loved what he did. He was honored to have been chosen to fight for this clan, and if he had to cease this life, he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He enjoyed training the new guards, but more than that, he enjoyed the fight. He wasn’t done with this life, but he would be proud that he left it as a winner, and with honor.”
Her voice started to crack as she struggled for words. Alex, her newly-turned husband, reached for her hand. She took it and he helped her down the step to return to her family.
I didn’t know why I’d found it so odd Samuel was chosen to fight to begin with. He obviously knew what he was doing. He’d been training the new guards for years and stayed in good shape throughout. He wasn’t just good at teaching guardianship, he was good at it as well. Maybe he was like Nicolai. Destined to stay on the sidelines with the current rules when all he really wanted to do was get out there and do it himself. If that was the case, I felt sorry for him.
Connor tightened his grip around my hand. “Samuel was a boxer, you know.”
I blinked. “A boxer?”
He nodded, a smile growing on his face. “His parents—human parents—started him when he was young. He grew up in a rough neighborhood and they thought it would be good for him to learn how to protect himself. It turns out they were right. His parents were murdered and that’s when the Rajyvik’s found him. He was an orphan so they took him in. When you think about it, it was kind of meant to be. Rajyvik needed someone to take over the training facility and here was this kid who needed a home who already had the drive to fight and the skills to back it up.”
I took a deep breath and tried to process everything. Samuel had been an orphan—like me. To Connor, I said, “That’s why he was using his fists a lot during the fight. It felt like a brawl out there.” I looked up at him and half-smiled. “Now I know why.”
Squeezing my shoulder, Connor said, “He was a good guy.”
Nodding, I looked ahead again. Through the gaggle of people, I saw Christian lean down and give Samuel’s sister a hug before spotting Connor and I. He moved toward us afterward, his face somber. When he reached us, he brushed a thumb down my cheek. “How are you holding up?”
I shrugged. It didn’t matter how I felt. “How’s Natalie?”
“As good as can be expected, I think.”
Naturally. Funerals were awkward. There were no right things to say. “Will she take over guard training now that…?” I didn’t want to even finish the question considering what it meant. Beyond that, it hardly seemed likely because she’d given up her class to Christian just this year.
Christian looked back over his shoulder. “She’ll have to. The duty falls on her now.”
I looked past Christian to Natalie’s slight, yet strong frame. I hadn’t met her very many times, but the times I had, I didn’t get the same impression of her that Samuel gave off. She didn’t seem like the type that would like to run The Fort. What she really wanted was a family and to be a mom. It was odd to see her so pale and drawn like she was now. She’d looked so happy during the party to celebrate her bringing her child into the vampire world. “I hope if she doesn’t want to take it over that your father won’t make her. She should be able to do whatever she wants.”
Christian’s lips tilted up as he stared at me. He cocked his head and then shook it. “I agree,” he said, even though he sounded surprised. “It’s always been that the Rajyvik’s handle the guard training, but I suppose after all this, if Natalie doesn’t want to, why should we make her?”
I nodded my head once. It only seemed appropriate to me that someone who actually wanted to train the guards should do it. Otherwise, the training would be sub-par. We needed someone with heart, someone who lived and breathed it. Someone just like Samuel Rajyvik. “What happens now?” I asked, looking up at Christian and Connor. “I mean, about the next fights…”
Christian rubbed his cheek. “This doesn’t change anything. We didn’t give them any time to mourn their fallen warrior so tomorrow will happen just like today. The Rajyvik’s have said they’ll wait to return Samuel home until after this is all done. Lex is already in the training rooms. She only stopped by for a little while to pay her respects. Rajyvik has even said that the best way to honor Samuel is to defeat the Dumont Clan.”
A hot flash shook my body quickly followed by a cold burst. They were absolutely right. The fights hadn’t changed. The goal certainly hadn’t either. If anything, it only secured the outcome we needed in my mind. Someone who trained his fighter to cheat and to win at any costs, even when they had lost, definitely did not deserve to be in power. They needed to be stopped.
Connor placed my hair behind my ear. “You want to go to the training rooms now, don’t you?”
My hands turned to fists. “If I can help in any way...”
“You are a marvel, Princess. I know you’re thinking Samuel must have been disappointed in you, but that’s just not possible. No one could be.” I started to shake my head, but he grabbed hold of my wrist and squeezed. “I’m not fooling around. Months ago, you didn’t even know this world existed, so whatever you give us is an added bonus. Not many people would’ve been able to do what you’ve already done, and continue to do.”
I heard what he said, but to me, it didn’t matter. I could’ve done more. I knew it. We all knew it. Because of that, I felt like a failure. It was all about the clan, not the individual people within the clan.
I nodded as if I agreed with him and then all three of us made our way out of the large room. Once in the empty hallway, we turned toward the training wing. That’s where I could make the most difference. It didn’t do good to dwell on what happened to Samuel right now. Mourning him wouldn’t bring him
back, but we could let his death stand for something. We could win the rest of the fights, and give him back the world he loved.
15
Hours later, I left the training room in a sweaty mess. Out of all the hours I’d spent in a room like that, those were the most intense. No one spoke. There didn’t seem to be any real training plan, just guards wailing on focus mitts and heavy bags, and throwing weapons as hard and as fast as they could.
Believe it or not, it helped. Focusing on technique and training was like a balm to the soul after Samuel’s death. We sweat out the feelings. We trained in the way he showed us. The whole time, his words played in the back of my head, reminding me how to hold the focus mitts while Lex punched and kicked them. He told me how to help her just like he’d helped me through the transition into this life from my old one. I felt closer to him in training than I ever did in that Council room with his coat of arms draped over the casket. That wasn’t to say others wouldn’t have appreciated that way more. Training was just how I knew Samuel, and to be doing what he taught me to do, felt like he was still here. It felt like he was still rooting us on. All of us.
Just before midnight, Lex told me she needed to get some sleep, but wanted my help tomorrow as well. We said goodbye to one another in the hallway as I crept up the stairs and she lingered down a side tunnel. Christian and Connor had left a long time ago, but to be honest, I wasn’t even sure when. I barely even looked up the whole evening. I just remembered seeing them and then not seeing them. It was one of those instances where time was infinite and impossible to pin down. For all I knew, they could be asleep up here.
But no. I walked in and my vampire princes looked up as if I’d startled them. It was virtually impossible for a human to surprise a vampire because even when we were trying to be stealthy, we were basically clumsy messes. On top of that, I could say with one-hundred percent certainty that I wasn’t even trying to control my tired body as I brought it up the stairs and to my room where I knew my princes would be waiting. Something else was going on.