by Callie Blake
Wincing, Peyton wondered how long it would take for her to forget – for her to feel remotely normal again.
“You’re still sad, are you?” Sofia asked carefully. “About the writer?” She tilted her head to meet Peyton’s roving gaze, her slender hands cupped daintily around her saucer. She was a single woman a bit younger than Peyton – the wide-eyed daughter of the couple that owned the B&B. She had “never been in love before” but claimed to date “all the dashing heroes” in her books. “I can tell you’re sad because your eyes are so far away.”
Peyton managed a little smile. “I am. And I will be. But at some point, I think I’ll be okay,” she said, though in that moment, she didn’t much believe it. Sipping her cappuccino, she gazed out the kitchen window. “I was thinking of taking a drive to the sunflower fields today.”
“To do what?” Sofia asked.
“Just to look at them,” Peyton laughed. “They’re so beautiful. They make me happy.”
“Then you should!” Sofia said enthusiastically. “Who knows – maybe you will find a handsome prince there.”
Peyton burst out laughing. “I don’t know, Sofia. I don’t think handsome bachelors just hang out in Tuscan flower fields. I think you’ve been reading too many of your books.”
“Ah, you tease me, but didn’t you know that art imitates life?” Sofia sassed.
“So I’ve heard,” Peyton smiled, finishing her cappuccino and nodding toward the front door. “Wanna come with?” she asked Sofia, who giggled. “I could use your help finding those handsome princes.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Schaffer, but she’s not coming out of her trailer.”
Connor could tell by the frazzled state of the second A.D that Kensie had probably been locked in her trailer for a good chunk of time now. Peering around set, he could see more than a few people mentioning her as they talked a mile a minute into their headsets, their voices breaking from exhaustion.
“Do you mind if I knock on her door to see if she’ll answer for me?” Connor asked. The A.D gave a shrug that appeared to exhaust the last of her energy.
“I don’t know. Go for it. She wouldn’t open up for her own dad, but go for it,” she mumbled miserably before scurrying off to tend to some other disaster.
God, Connor had forgotten what chaos movie sets were. Exactly why I’m a writer, he thought as he made his way to the big, white trailer with Kensie’s name on the door. Standing at the top step, he took in a deep breath.
This wasn’t his forte. Dealing with tears or emotions – whether they belonged to him or someone else – was something Connor actively avoided. A month ago, he would’ve never volunteered to spend his own time coaxing an actress out of her trailer.
But for Peyton, he was quickly learning he’d do anything, so mustering up the courage, he finally knocked on the door.
“Kensie?” He paused to listen for sounds. “Kensie, it’s Connor. Schaffer.” When silence followed, he waited a couple seconds before trying again. “Kensie. I know you’re in there. I really need to talk to you. Please.”
Another quiet minute passed, but just as he was about to give up, the door opened. Connor’s eyes fluttered in surprise as he stood there staring at Kensie Cohan, her eyes swollen and her false lashes hanging half off her eyelids.
“Hi. I’m sorry I look like a crazy person,” she said in a small voice. With that, she retreated back into the trailer, letting Connor follow. The way she was wrapped like a burrito in her giant robe made her walk like a sad old lady, and somehow, that tugged at the heartstrings Connor barely knew he had.
“Kensie…” he started unsurely, watching her plop onto her couch, avoiding eye contact as she tore open a fresh box of Samoas.
“You don’t have to tell me. I know you were sleeping with Peyton,” she mumbled, her voice scratchy. “My dad said Blake told him.”
Yeah... Connor nodded as he clenched his jaw. That sounded about right. Eyeing Kensie, he treaded lightly.
“Kensie… I’m sorry if we in any way hurt you. That wasn’t either of our intentions. No matter what your dad might’ve said, you know Peyton would never do anything to hurt you. She loves you. More than anything.”
“I know. I’m not mad at her if that’s what you think,” Kensie said quietly, surprising him. “When I heard that you two were… a thing… the first thing I did was burst out laughing ‘cause I was so happy.” Her glassy eyes fluttered as she stared into space for a second. “But then I was embarrassed.” She frowned deep as she hugged her knees to her chest, perching her pointy chin on top of her knees. “I felt like I let Daddy down. Like he was going to be mad again because I screwed another thing up, and I just felt so stupid. But honestly, I always feel stupid, and the worst part is I can’t even tell what I did wrong. Like right now. I know Daddy’s mad about something, Peyton disappeared and you’re all worried… and something tells me it’s all my fault.” She blinked away tears as she looked at Connor. “But I’m just too stupid to understand why.”
“It’s not your fault, Kensie,” Connor said gently, but she ignored him to laugh bitterly at herself.
“Honestly, why did I ever crush on you?” she asked. “You’re smart and I’m not. You’re successful and I’m good at nothing. Why would someone like you like me?”
“Enough, Kensie,” Connor said firmly. “The more you say those things, the more you’ll convince yourself they’re true, and they aren’t.”
Kensie shook her head. “I thought if I ended up with you, Daddy might be proud of me for once. But he’s never going to be ‘cause all I know how to do is fuck up.”
Connor watched Kensie stare emptily into her box of cookies. Jesus. She looked so pitiful that he suddenly understood why she was Peyton’s weakness.
“Listen, Kensie.” Moving some wrappers aside, Connor took a seat on the couch beside her. She blinked with surprise when he took her hand and held it in both of his. “You have to stop living for some guy’s approval. You’re beautiful, you have a good heart, and once you stop chasing all these things your dad says you should want, everything will fall into place.”
“What makes you think that?” Kensie asked.
Connor gave a crooked grin. “Peyton said something like that to me once, and it made me feel a lot better,” he admitted, making Kensie smile. “But I did believe her, which is why I’m telling you the same thing. Yeah, you might be a bit of a mess now,” he laughed, catching the false lashes that fell on cue off her face. “But you’ve got plenty of new chapters ahead of you. Things are going to change. You don’t know where or who you’ll be in a few years, so don’t lose hope now.”
Kensie’s gaze floated into the distance as she thoroughly processed his words. And when she did, a fresh batch of tears sprung to her eyes.
“This is usually what Peyton does for me,” she smiled as Connor handed her a tissue. “She’s like, the queen of making me feel better.”
“She’s pretty fucking great, isn’t she?”
“The best,” Kensie whispered. Then with a gulp, she looked up grimly at Connor. “I’m sorry I don’t know how to stand up to my dad.”
“Why are you saying this?”
“Because I don’t know what he’s gonna do to you if you really go looking for Peyton.”
Connor clenched his teeth. He swallowed away the dryness in his throat as he considered the many ways in which Russell Cohan could destroy him. Realistically, he’d barely have to lift a finger. It was precisely why no one in Hollywood dared to say no to the prick. If you wanted to keep your job, you’d make sure Cohan was happy.
But for Connor, there was no being happy without Peyton.
“Kensie, do you remember the name of the place in Italy you went with Peyton?” Connor asked suddenly. “When you were kids? It was the place where you played in the sunflower field. Do you remember?”
Kensie chewed hard on her lip as she put her mind to work. “Tuscany?” she finally said.
“Yes, but Tuscany is a big region. Do you k
now where in Tuscany?” Connor asked, though before he finished his sentence, he knew it was hopeless. Even if Kensie narrowed down exactly which province in Tuscany, it would take ages to locate Peyton. By the time he called every hotel or B&B to see if they’d booked a Peyton Greene, she could already be on her way to the next location. “I know this is a long shot, but did she talk about any specific cities to you recently? Places around the world she wanted to visit?” Connor asked weakly.
Kensie looked panicked as she massaged her temples. “No. Nothing.”
“Fuck.”
He generally prided himself on his problem-solving abilities, but right now, Connor was just about sure he was screwed.
“Wait!” Kensie suddenly gasped.
Lifting his face from his hands, Connor looked over to see a dazzling smile suddenly spreading her lips.
“Holy shit, Connor,” she said, looking at him urgently as she grabbed his hand. “I might not be so stupid after all.”
27
To neither Peyton nor Sofia’s surprise, there were no handsome princes or bachelors of any kind at the field yesterday.
Of course, there didn’t need to be. Just approaching the never-ending sea of gold from the car was enough to make Peyton’s heart beat fast. She felt a crescendo of adrenaline as she parked her Fiat, rushed out the door and burst like a rocket through the field with both arms stretched out wide.
“It’s so beautiful!” she squealed, grinning so hard her cheeks actually hurt. It was just so unreal. Every direction she turned, there was yellow – hundreds, probably thousands of brilliant flowers swaying peacefully in the breeze. Peyton could swear they had personalities, too. They were just so bright and happy. They looked like they were dancing with her.
Oh, Kensie.
In that moment, Peyton flashed back to when she and Kensie were kids. All those years ago, in that Tuscan field where her obsession had started, they had pretended to ballroom dance with the flowers. The stalks were so much taller than them back then – it just seemed like the natural thing to do.
“Peyton! Look!”
Thankfully, before Peyton could drown in too many Kensie-related sorrows, Sofia had called her over to where she stood – right next to a perfectly circular patch in the middle of the field. She pointed down at the breadcrumbs and bit of orange peel that lay at their feet.
“Someone was having a romantic picnic. Shall we do the same tomorrow?”
“Hell, yes,” Peyton said eagerly.
So this morning, she headed off to the market while Sofia stayed home to greet the new arrivals at the B&B. At noon, the girls agreed to convene at the bare patch in the field, where they would dine on fresh fruits and charcuterie, and sip from a carafe of wine that Sofia would bring from home.
“And I will bring my books, of course,” she had said. “So we can be joined by some handsome men.”
Peyton smiled at the memory as she weaved through the field in her white sundress, a tote bag full of goodies slung over her shoulder. When she got to the patch, the first thing she did was take out Sofia’s striped picnic blanket and lay it smooth on the ground. Then slipping out of her flats, she knelt down and started unpacking the food.
“You’re early, too,” she remarked with a smile when she heard the sound of rustling behind her. “Hey, I hope you brought utensils, because I just realized I forgot all about the – ”
Peyton’s mouth snapped shut when she turned around.
“Oh my God.”
The apple in her hand rolled across the blanket as she rose to her bare feet. Lips parted, heart pounding, Peyton tried not to pass out as she laid her unblinking eyes on the vision standing before her.
“Connor?” she breathed, unable to say anything more.
Is this real? Fluttering her lashes, Peyton tried to blink him away, but she couldn’t. He was real, he was there, and he was wearing a crisp white button-up with that gorgeous smile that could bring any girl to her knees. His dark blonde hair was gently slicked back, moving lightly in the wind, and he looked at her in a way that actually screamed the words I missed you.
“Peyton.”
She burst into tears when he said her name.
“I’m sorry,” she blurted straightaway, wishing she had the words to say how fucking happy she was to see him. She could barely breathe as she felt her cheek rest against that warm chest she had missed so fucking much.
But just as quickly as she melted into him, she pulled back.
“Wait.” Peyton squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. Pain seared through her chest as she forced herself to stand far away from him. “Wait. Just stop for a second. You can’t be here.”
Connor frowned deeply. “Why not?” he asked.
“My uncle,” Peyton whispered, looking up at him with shame and guilt, and every emotion in between. “He’s going to ruin you if you choose me.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yes, you do,” she argued in a panic. “If you so much as see me, Connor, I swear he’ll end your career. He can and he will. I’ve seen him do it to others, and I can’t be the reason you lose everything. I can’t play that role again – especially not with you.”
Connor’s face twisted with confusion. “The only way I lose everything is if I leave here without you.”
“You don’t mean that.” Her face in her hands, Peyton started crying again. “Please, Connor. I’d rather just be a good memory that you miss than the girl who destroyed everything you worked for.”
“You don’t get to decide that for me,” he said firmly. “I’m not just going to leave. I’m not giving up on you.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying right now,” Peyton argued stubbornly, her pink cheeks streaked with hot tears. “You’re in the heat of the moment, but think about five years down the line. What if you don’t have work? Assuming you’re even with me by then, you’ll hate me. You’ll resent me for everything I took from you – I know that you will!”
“I won’t,” Connor said heatedly, pulling her in close. He held her firmly when she tried to break free. “I mean it, Peyton,” he growled, grasping her arms. “You think you know what you’re talking about because you saw what resentment did to your uncle with you. But I’m not him. I’m sure the tabloids claim otherwise, but I’m not heartless like he is, and I can’t just forget about you – I love you.”
His blue eyes blazed into her, melting her as he uttered the words. They sounded too good to be real, but before she could tell herself she’d imagined it, he said them again.
“I love you, Peyton. I can’t stand when I’m not near you. I didn’t know I could be as happy as I am when I’m around you, and I can’t live without the way you make me feel,” Connor said. “And trust me,” he added sternly. “I’m not a person who prides himself on needing anyone but himself. But I need you. I know that I do.”
His speech stole the air from her lungs but Peyton shook her head, hell-bent on resisting.
“You’re saying all this because you’re already here,” she said weakly. “You don’t want to feel like you wasted the trip, so you’re saying whatever you can,” she spoke over his protests, “to get me on a plane back home, but I can’t. I can’t do it, Connor. Trust me, I’ve imagined a world where we’re back together – a million times. But I’ve also imagined you resenting me, despising me, and I can’t survive that, okay?”
With all her might, she pushed away. Her chest heaved as she stood back from him. She could almost swear the sea of flowers around her had stilled – that they had stopped swaying out of respect for her fury.
“The fact of the matter is that this is a fling,” Peyton said, her stomach turning as she watched Connor’s features contort with hurt. But she forced herself to press on. “This was a whirlwind or whatever the press calls it when they write about you. It’s always the same. You meet the girl, you sweep her off her feet, and by the one-month mark you’re done. That’s the script. That’s how you roll,” she said harshly, pained by her o
wn words. “So you and me, Connor? We’re only three weeks in. Give it another seven days, and you’ll be done. I can bet you on that,” Peyton said, trying to sound confident. “Just trust me, okay? A fling isn’t worth sacrificing your career for.”
“I know what flings are, and this isn’t one of them,” Connor countered. There was gravel in his voice as he took a step toward her. But she took a step back.
“What makes you so sure?”
“The fact that you’ve already changed me in ways I couldn’t do myself,” he fired back. “The fact that – in just the time that I’ve known you – you’ve turned me into a better man.” With his stare pinned on her, Connor drew closer again. “You’ve made me a better person, Peyton, and it’s made me want all the things I thought were impossible before. It’s made me think that maybe a family isn’t that far out of my reach.” He gave a bitter laugh to himself. “Trust me, I’d already accepted the reality that I might be sixty before I could find someone who made me want to be love and be selfless. But since I’ve met you, I’ve seen real selflessness. I’ve seen the way you care for people, the way you make their lives better, and it’s made me want to give that same love and care back to you. It’s made my fantasies go from money and women to planning weekend trips with you. To figuring out little things I can do to make you smile, because I fucking live for that smile.”
Connor’s heartbeat raced as he watched Peyton slowly break. He exhaled when he was close enough to touch her again, and this time, he refused to let her go.
“I want to see what it looks like five, ten years from now when I’ve made you happier than you knew you could be,” he said eagerly as his forehead rest against hers. “I want to see just how good a man I became at your side, so please, Peyton. Come back to me. I swear, we have so much more to see together. I know you think we had a good run, but we haven’t scratched the surface yet – I can promise you that. And in five years, I can’t wait to tell you that I won that bet,” he said, breaking into a grin. His heart swelled when he watched her wet eyes finally crinkle into the sweetest laugh. “So are you in?” he asked breathlessly, cupping her face and holding her smiling lips an inch away from his.