Remember When...

by Scarlett Finn

  Why was he touching her again? Shane was always touching her. “I’ve not been alone,” she said, fixated on their linked hands. “Calvin helped.”

  “With midnight feedings and diaper changes?” Owen asked.

  She sensed tension from Shane. “Kind of,” Ginger said and shook her head. “We’re not here to talk about that. We have to be quick.”

  “Right, yes,” Owen said, sitting up straighter. “Ginger needs new cards for all her accounts.”

  With his hands spread flat on the table, Shane nodded once. “Ok.”

  That was it? Ginger was surprised, Shane didn’t even blink, he was just fine and relaxed. “My accounts,” she said, pressing a finger into the back of his hand. “Just my accounts, you understand? Not yours. Owen said I was paid a salary. I must have put that money somewhere.”

  “You were paid a salary,” Shane said, turning her hand over to cup it in his, then he frowned at Owen. “Did anyone ever take her off payroll?”

  When Owen shrugged, her jaw sank. “What?” Ginger gasped. “You can’t pay me for work I didn’t do!”

  Shane smiled and leaned down to meet her palm with his lips. “I’m kidding. I’m sure we terminated your contract the day of the accident.”

  Taken aback, she found that particularly cold. “Really?” she asked.

  Typical that Shane should smile. “I have no idea,” he said, tracing the lines on her hand, but she pulled it away.

  It didn’t matter how many times she told him not to touch her, he was always doing it. But it felt nice, good, and she relaxed wondering if it could really hurt to let him stroke her like that.

  No! Ginger tensed and mentally chastised herself. She wasn’t doing things just because they felt good, not anymore. She was not giving in to childish impulses. She was being sensible, smart, and rational.

  Ginger reminded herself by asserting their connection aloud. “Father of my child,” she said.

  But Shane didn’t get it. “Yes, mother of my child?” he asked, folding his hands in front of him. Right now it was like nothing could faze him, he seemed so at peace.

  “Is this a sexy thing you do?” Owen asked like he didn’t get it.

  Shane smiled at him. “It’s actually a major turn on to see her with Cam… I never figured it would be, but it is.”

  This conversation was edging toward the slippery slope, and was beginning to sound like flirtation. Ginger couldn’t figure out how it had happened. “No,” she said, waving at each man. “I meant, you are just the father of my child. You’re not supposed to be holding my hands and kissing me.”

  “Ok,” Shane said, but she wasn’t sure he was listening.

  He infuriated her… again. “Don’t dismiss me,” she said.

  “Please don’t fight again,” Owen groaned. “I don’t like having to witness your foreplay up close.”

  Shane got serious. “Do you want me to transfer the savings to your checking account, Bit?” he asked. “And there must be half a dozen credit cards in your name, do you want them all or just the black one?”

  Ginger didn’t know what the black one was but before she could ask, another thought hit her and she sat upright. “Oh my god, are they overdue?” Was she in sixteen months of debt?

  “No,” Shane said and she thought he might be laughing at her. “I know for a fact they’re all at zero.”

  “How do you know that?” Ginger asked.

  Owen answered, “Because he pays the full balance on all the cards every month. And we had to keep checking if there was activity on any of your cards.”

  “You thought I ran away?” she asked. “Like Sleeping with the Enemy? Do you have scary sex music?”

  Again, Shane sniggered. “No, but we knew if you were picked up there was a chance someone could coerce you. If you needed money, I wanted to make sure it was there.”

  “Shame she never remembered her PIN or maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

  Now her brother was implying that Calvin could’ve been paid off, she wasn’t even going to entertain their jibes, they didn’t have time. “So I got a salary, but you paid the bills?” she asked. “How did that work?”

  “Always worked for us,” Shane said. “It’s not like we have any huge bills. We live in an apartment.”

  “You own the top two floors of the most coveted high-rise in the city,” Owen said and Shane hissed at him like he shouldn’t play it up.

  Being where they were and knowing how much Shane liked the outdoors, she kind of couldn’t picture living in an apartment. “We don’t have a yard?” she asked, then shook her head. “I mean… you don’t have a yard?”

  “You own the roof,” Owen said. “Pool terrace and everything. It’s beautiful.”

  “The roof?” she asked, her concern switched to her son. “You’re going to put Cameron on the roof of a skyscraper?”

  They weren’t supposed to judge each other here, but she couldn’t imagine for a second how that could be safe. He’d be up there, in the wind… there could be a railing, but—

  “Yeah, it’s me.” Glancing round Ginger saw that Shane on the phone, she hadn’t even seen him take it from his pocket, but she’d been too busy imagining the worst. “Yeah, yeah, been a while, we’re great…” Shane said into the phone. “Listen, I want you to sell the penthouse.”

  This guy was determined to give her a heart attack. She’d just been a person talking and he was… she didn’t even know what. Grabbing Owen’s wrist, Ginger hissed, “What’s he doing?”

  Owen looked up from his notebook to Shane and then at her. “Making you happy,” he said like it was obvious, he’d been infected with the nonchalant bug too. “It’s what he does.”

  “Yeah, I need something with land,” Shane said, still on the phone. “I don’t care… yeah, send pictures… no, not the cabin. We like the cabin, we’re keeping that… but I need something near the office. Something…” His eyes flicked to her and then he twisted away to lower his volume. “Something kid-proof… Yeah, you heard me… Nell, don’t give me shit, just do it, please… thank you.”

  Shane disconnected the phone and put it back in his pocket as Owen laughed. “Ah, you’ve set the tongues wagging… she’ll never let that go.”

  “Nell’s good,” Shane said, drawing a fingertip down the line on the table where two planks met. “So are we done? I’ll get the cards couriered to us, you can have them tonight.”

  Still in shock, Ginger started to feel guilty. “You didn’t have to sell your house because… because of one comment.”

  Owen’s arm touched hers. “One comment from you, Gin. He’s made bigger life decisions based on your expression after something he’s said.”

  “Ok,” she said, overwhelmed, she took a breath and held up both hands. “Are you both listening to me? This is a business meeting, official, you get it? Shane is Cam’s father. That’s it. I am not making decisions for him. We do not make joint decisions. We do not have a relationship.”

  The men were looking at her, but it didn’t seem to matter how stern she was, they just ignored what she was saying. Owen proved that when he took a big breath and turned to Shane. “How do you feel about sperm donation?”

  “If I’m donating to Ginny, I love it,” Shane said, locking his fingers behind his head. Gritting her teeth, Ginger growled aloud, but the men just smiled and carried on. “Why?”

  “I was thinking we should set something up,” Owen said. “Ginny is worried her kids won’t like each other unless they’re all yours.”

  Shane’s interested brows went up and she was left gaping. “Wha…?” she gasped. “I never—uh—”

  “Do you want more children, Mr. Warren?” Owen asked, licking the tip of his pen and then theatrically posing to write.

  Like he was in the midst of an interview, Shane was concise, “A bunch. My wife and I spoke about having four or five.”

  “Hmm,” Owen said like this was interesting and he started to write something.

  Ginger tr
ied to peek at his notepad, but her brother pulled it away and curled an arm around it. “What are you doing?” she asked, trying to tug his arm out of the way. “You’re supposed to be writing about Cameron’s care.”

  “We are,” Owen said. “Any parental contract should always include the provision for further children. What if you write this now and then have another four kids and they’re not alluded to? That could cause all sorts of legal problems.”

  These guys were enjoying riling her and she was being stupid enough to give them the satisfaction of a reacting. Slumping back, Ginger folded her arms. “I’m getting my tubes tied,” she muttered.

  “That’s pretty much the only way to be sure you won’t be having more of Shane’s kids,” Owen said, again suggesting she’d get with Shane, which he seemed to enjoy doing too.

  “Guardianship,” she said, appealing to them. “Can we at least cover one serious thing before you two have more fun?”

  “Guardianship?” Shane asked. “What if—”

  She sat up. “Who do we want to care for him if we’re both dead?”

  It was obvious that Shane didn’t like the morbid thought because he sneered. But given what had happened to her, she was more cautious. “She has a point,” Owen said. “If it had been both of you on that boat a year later with Cam on shore…”

  “I don’t think we’ll be attending many social functions together now,” she said, smirking at them both. “But Shane does enjoy some risky pursuits.”

  “I don’t climb half as much now as I used to,” Shane said. “We do spend a lot of time together in the domestic wilderness though… I guess anything can happen out there.”

  More reference to them being together, Ginger was struggling against an urge to scream. “We don’t have to die at the same time,” she said. “It’s good to have in black and white what we both want in case one of us goes after the other.”

  Owen nodded and repositioned his pad. “Yes.”

  “Do we have to sign something to say the other gets him?” she asked. “You know, if I die tomorrow, should I sign something to say Shane gets full-custody?”

  The men shared a look she didn’t understand. “Does Calvin have a problem with that?” Owen asked.

  Oh, shit, she hadn’t considered how Calvin would react. “I… I don’t think he’d fight for custody,” she said, trying to play that future through in her mind.

  “If you’re still planning to marry him, he might,” Owen said. “This could be years down the line. If Cam has been living with him and going to school in his area, Calvin might have a claim… Especially if you sign something to say you want Cam to stay with him… Does Calvin travel for work?”

  This was going to be far more complicated than she’d originally thought. “Sometimes,” Ginger said. “Not much… But he does put in long hours.”

  “Shane spends all day goofing off,” Owen said and Shane threw him a mock laugh. “But he does travel quite a few times a year, that would go against him in a custody hearing.”

  But Shane was quick to emphasize, “If I had Cam, I wouldn’t be going anywhere.”

  She exhaled and flopped again. “This was supposed to be the easy part.”

  “It is easy,” Owen said, taking her hand. “I can write a contract, if you want Shane to have full-custody in the event of your death, then that’s all we need. If anything happens to you, we present that to a judge as your wishes.”

  Her brother began to write. She lowered her chin and fixated on the table wondering how this would go across with Calvin. “Ginger?” Shane asked, a thread of severe wariness wavered though his tone and she lifted her eyes while coiling a strand of hair around her finger. “You will sign it, won’t you?”

  She winced. “I’ll have to talk to Calvin.”

  Shane smacked a palm on the table and surged to his feet, turning his back on her to stride to the window. Owen leaned in. “You can’t want Calvin to have full-custody, you can’t want him to have any custody,” Owen said. “Do you think he and Shane will be able to work out amicable visitation?” That would be a joke. “You’ve seen how Shane is with Cam. He’s a great father. You shouldn’t worry about—”

  “I know he’s a great father,” she said. Her hesitation wasn’t about Shane’s suitability. “I told Shane that. I don’t doubt he’ll do what’s best for Cam.”

  “So what’s the problem?” Owen asked.

  She sighed. “I just… with everything else that’s going on… Calvin… he’s insecure and I… I don’t want him to think we’re plotting against him.”

  Owen tapped the pen on the desk. Ginger got chills, feeling for Shane who still hadn’t turned or said a word. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. All she seemed to do these days was hurt people.

  “You know,” Owen said to her in low volume. “I can write it and you both can sign it and Calvin never has to know… I can keep it in a file somewhere and the three of us, we’ll never mention it to anyone. I can have it anonymously notarized. The chances of anything happening to you are slim, and once Cam is a teenager the court will listen to his wishes about where he wants to live. If, God forbid, something does happen to you, Shane and I will deal with the fall out with Calvin and you—”

  Shane spun with open arms. “Why the fuck are we even talking about this?”

  Owen squeezed his pen. “I know it’s a difficult subject, but it’s smart to be prepared,” her brother said, “especially if we think there might be a challenge to your guardianship. And if we can get the mother’s support from be—“

  “No,” Shane said, coming to the table. He dropped both hands onto it, and keeping his arms straight to bear his weight, he fixed his stern eyes on her. “I love you, Bit. I love you. I don’t know how many other ways I can say it.”

  Oh, God, this again, she tensed and then relaxed because after panic came pity. “Shane—”

  “No! We’re going to be together,” he asserted. “I know it. Owen knows it. Murph knows it. Hell, I think even Cam knows it.”

  Invoking their son was not a wise move because it squeezed a raw nerve and all she could do was react with instinctual anger. “Do not bring him into this!”

  “You don’t think he wants his parents to be together?” Shane asked, returning some anger of his own.

  “He wants us to be happy.”

  “The only way I’ll be happy is if we’re man and wife again, in every way.”

  Ginger sat back, stretching her legs in front of her beneath the table, she crossed her ankles. “So this is about sex again?”

  Shane squinted and bowed his head, shaking it once like she was insane. “No, fuck sex, this has nothing to do with sex… This whole conversation is pointless because Bishop is a non-factor in our lives. He’s not going to be around when Cam is a teenager. Hell, I’d be surprised if he makes it to Cam’s first birthday.”

  That was just a matter of weeks away and an insult. “I don’t—”

  “You guys are late for therapy, maybe you should take this upstairs,” Owen said. “I feel… underqualified.”

  But she could be confident in her return, “I’m not late,” she said. “Shane is. It’s his session… and he hasn’t asked me to be a part of it.”

  Shane grabbed the baby monitor then came around the table and took her hand to haul her up to her feet. “Everything in my life is about you,” he said. “You’re coming with me.”

  He pulled her up the stairs and into Guinness’ office where the doctor got a heated recitation of what had happened downstairs. They came to no conclusions before Shane announced he was going to tell her everything that he’d heard after she left him with Calvin, Boyd, and the divorce papers.

  The story was… shocking to put it mildly. At least it was at first until he carried on and on and got so ludicrous that it became entertaining. Ginger had no choice except to become incredulous. Was he really so desperate to get her away from Calvin that he would concoct this tale with his brother to poison her mind against Calvin? It was
just so… fantastical.

  The doctor’s bedroom was good for these private meetings. The doctor’s view was over the side of the building. He had two chairs arranged next to each other at one side of the window with his own chair opposite, it was like a real couples counselling session. She and Calvin had joked about it during their session that day. She didn’t feel much like joking now.

  With her legs crossed and her arms folded, Ginger was just waiting for Shane to talk himself out. The doctor asked questions, and showed signs of concern as Shane answered them. In fairness, Ginger was concerned too, for Shane’s sanity.

  “These are quite shocking revelations,” Guinness said. “Ginger, how do they make you feel?”

  “Feel?” she asked the doctor. “It’s ridiculous… and insulting.”

  It irked her that she saw pity in Shane’s expression. “I don’t know if Bishop loves her now,” Shane said to the doctor. Her so-called husband was leaning forward, with one hand curled around the other fist, his elbows on his knees. “Murphy’s convinced that he doesn’t. I… I can’t understand how any man could live with Ginny and not love her.”

  “But you do think that he is still interested in money?” Guinness asked. “Forgive me for saying, but the divorce settlement was… modest given what you could provide Ginger with.”

  But this crazy person she’d apparently married didn’t let that truth dissuade him from his fantasy. “Maybe it was an opening bid,” Shane said. “I could provide more, yes, but it’s likely if they married I would be a source of financial support for Ginger… I would never say no to her.”

  “Hmm,” the doctor said like he might be considering that as an actual possibility.

  “No,” she said, slapping her hands on the arms of the chair. “This is crazy! Forget about the money! Even if Shane’s right that Calvin’s in it for the money, who cares about that! He’s accusing Calvin of sinister… evil plotting! I’ve lived with the man for sixteen months, I’ve seen him almost every single day. How could he know that whole time exactly who I was and never tell me?” It was just insane. “And Shane says there were doctors involved as well! How can that be possible?”