The alcohol flowing through my veins makes me feel so free. I’m dancing around, completely carefree and not worrying about a thing, until I see him. Mason. He’s watching me. Feeling extra daring and just not giving a damn I flip him off before whipping around and laughing.
I feel hands on my hips and turn to see a hot guy behind me. Score! I grind into him enjoying the feeling of having someone this close to me. Scott never liked to dance with me, he said it was too juvenile.
“Jules, get me pizza!” She cocks her eyebrow at me not even bothering to respond. I see a look of shock on her face before the guy I am dancing with is gone. I look back to see Mason standing in front of me looking pissed.
“Let’s go.”
“Screw you!. Ima shake my thang.” I turn around hitting him in the face with my hair and shimming over to Jules.
“Girl he looks like he is about to blow a fuse.” She says into my ear trying to be heard over the loud music.
“We are leaving.” I hear his voice before I feel his arm pulling me toward the exit.
“You getting me pizza? I’m hungrier then a nun at a strip club!” I stumble as he continues to pull me but he catches me before I hit the floor. “Damn Tarzan, just fucking club me over the head next time!”
“Don’t tempt me.” He looks down at me and my smart comebacks cease. His eyes burn a hole through me and all I want to do is hide behind something. That bouncer is big maybe I could—Mason tugs me once again and we exit the club. We walk towards Brian’s truck and he takes the keys out of his pocket, I guess this whole dragging me out by my hair shit was planned.
“You know I don’t need your alpha asshole bullshit.” I cross my arms in protest. I don’t want to leave. I want to go dance, and get some pizza.
“Yea, and I don’t need your smart ass mouth but I still have to fucking listen to it constantly.” Without another word he picks me up as if it’s nothing and places me in the truck. Dickhead. As he starts the car I turn toward him ready to lay into him when he blasts the radio. I reach for it only to have my hand smacked away like a child. I seethe as I sit there wanting to rip him a new asshole.
We pull up to my apartment and Mason walks me to my door. “You know I don’t need you to be my daddy, unless that’s the type of shit you’re into.” I wink at him as I unlock the door and stumble inside. “Is that what you like Mase you want me to call you daddy and let you spank me?” I bend over rubbing my ass with my hand. What the hell am I saying? Shut up! “No, you like that caveman shit. ‘Take me Tarzan. I yours. Give me big dick.” I proceed to walk around my living room like an ape, scratching myself and laughing hysterically.
I don’t even see him move but within a second he has me backed against the wall. His hands are holding mine above my head, and his face is just inches from mine. When he grinds into me I immediately stop laughing.
“Laugh now. Tell me how funny it is with my dick pressed against your pussy.” He stares into my eyes and I’m wet just from his words. I have wanted to be in this position with Mason for a while. “No smart ass comments?” He arches his eyebrow at me daring me to speak.
I can’t speak, but my body makes no mistake of showing Mason how much I want him. I grind into him moaning at the contact.
“It’s too bad that I don’t have anything on me, I can tell how bad you want it.” He loosens his hold as if he is about to back away from me.
“I’m on the pill!” I pant out. I want this. I want him. It’s been so long since I had someone want me.
“You need to understand if we do this it doesn’t mean shit. I’m not gonna sugarcoat this Lacey. I want nothing but tonight. You will get nothing but tonight.” I nod at him showing my understanding for his conditions.
A low growl sounds from his chest before he picks me up by my ass carrying me into the bedroom. Before I know it I am flying through the air landing on the bed and Mason is hovering over me. His hands are everywhere ripping the tiny dress I’m wearing in half before throwing the scraps onto the floor. My panties are next, luckily I’m not wearing a bra.
He pulls his shirt over his head then stands up to take off his jeans. I watch his muscles ripple as much as I can see in the darkness of the apartment.
“You better find something to hold onto, I’m gonna tear you apart.”
Holy shit.
Chapter Three
My eyes widen. I am suddenly hit with a wave of soberness. I open my mouth to reply but his hand clamps down on it. “That smart mouth is done talking for the night.” His hand snakes around my neck pulling me toward him until I am kneeling. “I have a much better use for it.”
I look down to see him stroking himself. I lower my body and inch closer to him. His hand releases his dick and fists in my hair. I open my mouth taking him in and letting him guide me. As he moves my head up and down his shaft I tease him with my tongue. I love it that he isn’t afraid to take control and to show me what he likes. His hands tighten in my hair as I continue to work him with my tongue, savoring him like he is the sweetest thing I have ever tasted.
His hands roughly grip my shoulders lifting me so that I’m eye level with him. “You’re fucking dangerous woman.” I smile at him hoping I look as sexy as he makes me feel. His hands roam down my body, finding my pussy and I gasp the instant he makes contact. His fingers dip into me and I grasp onto his shoulder digging my nails into his skin. He freezes at my contact.
Before I can ask what is wrong he spins me around and presses my ass against his dick. He moves my hair to the side before I feel his tongue tracing the nape of my neck.
“I meant what I said before, you better hold on.” He pushes me roughly and I catch myself with my hands. When I look up I see my wrought iron bed frame and wrap my fingers around it. I can feel him staring at me, examining me, almost as if he is memorizing me. My entire body heats and I squirm under his gaze.
His hands gently rub my ass before I feel him at my opening. I push back begging him to give me what I need, what I have wanted for months. When he enters me I yelp. My body needs a second to get used to him, but he doesn’t give it to me. He starts to drive into me so hard I am flying forward before he yanks me back against him. The force of his thrusts are making my knees weak as my insides clench from the intense pleasure rolling through me.
I tighten my grip on the bars afraid if I let go that I will end up flying into the wall. I scream with each thrust, as Mason’s fingers grip me tighter. I tighten my muscles thanking the Kegel Gods when he groans in appreciation. His speed picks up and I explode screaming his name and almost collapsing. One of his arms catch me around my waist holding me to him as he continues his sweet torture. I swear I almost pass out, then I hear the most animalistic sound rip through his throat.
We both stay there panting, and trying to regain our bearings. “Fuck woman, you’re like a goddamn drug. I already want more.” He stands up and I turn around to see him starting to get dressed. Damn, it’s like that? I stand up wrapping my sheet around me, not like it really matters cause he was just all up in my goodies. I suddenly feel so self conscious and vulnerable. He has a way of taking me from the highest high to the lowest low.
“You’re really leaving already?” I can’t see his face in the dark so I flip the light on.
Before I can even see him he turns his back on me quickly reaching for his shirt and pulling it over his head. “I made it very clear. This was sex. This was not some shit where I was going to stay and cuddle with you after.” He walks my way stopping in front of me, since I am standing in the doorway. His eyes stare into mine and for a moment I see something but it disappears too fast for me to figure out what it was. “You need to move.” His tone is cold and unemotional. It hits me like a bucket of ice water.
I sidestep and he walks past me. I’m frozen in shock at his behavior and it’s almost as if I expect him to pop back in and say ‘just kidding I’m not a total fuckwad!’ Of course he doesn’t, because he’s a total fuckwad. I should have expected this unf
ortunately I’m an idiot that like to hold out hope for people to at like human beings.
As much as I wanted Mason, being used never feels good. I mean I felt like my whole relationship with Scott had been him using me. I sure as hell don’t need someone else to do it. I let out a screech of frustration for being so goddamn easy. I mean sure it’s been so long since I’ve been laid that I might have grown my damn virginity back but am I really that desperate? Apparently so.
I hate that dick so much. Well I definitely don’t hate his dick, but I hate him. I wish I would have said something witty when he left instead of just standing here like a jackass. Maybe something like, ‘I’ve had better’, or ‘my neighbors dog lasts longer then that!’ I laugh at myself before realizing how crazy I am for not only talking to myself, but laughing out loud at my own thoughts.
Next time he won’t get away so easy.
Next time? Why in the world am I even considering a next with him? He doesn’t deserve me. I don’t deserve to be treated like that. I shouldn’t want him again.
I’m so fucked.
Chapter Four
I call Jules and agree to meet her for lunch. We decide to go to a deli that’s right near the bake shop that she owns. When I get there we order and grab a table.
“So where were you the past few days? I haven’t talked to you except for a few short texts since Saturday.” I haven’t even told her that I hooked up with Mason yet. I’m a sucky friend.
“Umm, life has been pretty boring.” Just found out not only is my cancer back and I let douchebag Mason fuck and forget about me. Real classy.
“Well, how did things go with Mason?” I look at her in confusion. “He took you home on Saturday. I haven’t seen him that pissed at you in a while.”
“God, he just needs a damn prosaic.” She laughs but looks at me expectantly knowing there is more to the story. “Okay Sherlock, he took me home and then things may have gotten a little out of hand.”
“Out of hand, how?” Her eyebrow arches.
“I may have been taunting him a bit, and he found a damn good way to shut me up.” I can feel my face turning red as I remember how his hands felt on me.
“Shut up. Are you serious?” Jules mouth drops open a bit at my confession.
“Close your mouth ho, before you catch flies. Yes, I’m serious. We did the dirty and then he left like his junk caught on fire.” He had warned me that it would just be sex but I wasn’t prepared for how cold he was to me afterward.
“I’ll cut it off. He does not get to do that shit to you Lace. I don’t care how screwed up he is.” I laugh knowing that Jules could probably take on Mason, she may be little but the girl is crazy.
“Stop it Rambo. He told me before anything happened that nothing would come of it. I guess I just expected a little consolation cuddling or some shit. God forbid, he is able to carry a conversation. I don’t want you to say anything to Mason or anyone else. I’m a big girl and I need to deal with my own shit.” Like trying to make it through this hell again.
“Well if you change your mind let me know, Brian has a machete in the garage.”
I laugh so loud that the people around us turn to look. When I finally catch my breath I look up at her. “Why the fuck does Brian have a machete? I mean I don’t like waxing either girl but you should tame the jungle before it gets to that level.”
She chokes on the water she is drinking. “You asshole, I’ll have you know my shit is clean. Don't ask me why he buys all the stupid shit he does. The boys went to a bunch of yard sales looking for different things for the houses they are flipping, and Brian said they passed this one house with this old war vet. He had all kinds of crazy shit and my fiancée chose to buy a fucking machete.”
“Whatever you say girl.” I shake my head at her as we start to laugh again.
“So what are you going to do? I mean are you gonna hook up with him again?” She is like a kid in candy store, it’s been a while since either of us had anything juicy going on.
“I have no idea. I mean I think it was just a one-time, drunk, mind-blowing, slam session.” Would I say no to more of Mason? Hell no.
Chapter Five
Well today is the day. D-day, the big bang, the day my world fucking stops. It’s the start of chemo, again.
On Monday I came in to have a full blood workup done and now I’m here. Sitting on this cold leather bench waiting for my life to be altered, but hopefully to continue going. My hands grip the cushion as my nerves spike to unhealthy levels. My doctor comes in with my chart in his hands.
“Hi, how are you feeling today?”
I have fucking cancer, AGAIN. How do you think I’m feeling? As much as I want that to be my response it isn’t. “I’m okay.” A nervous tremor takes over my voice.
“Well, we have something to discuss before we can proceed with your treatment.” I look at him in confusion. “Your test results came back. They show that you are pregnant.”
“Shut the fuck up.” My hand covers my mouth quickly in embarrassment. He must be fucking kidding me. There is no way. Not only am I on the damn pill but it’s also really hard to get pregnant when you have uterine cancer. If this is true I better get canonized because this is a damn miracle. I look back at my doctor and his eyes are wide, no doubt in shock at my choice of words. “I don’t know how this is possible. I’m on birth control, aside from you telling me when I was married that it would be hard for me to conceive.”
“Have you been having unprotected sex regularly?”
“Ha! Nope until Saturday I haven’t been laid since Clinton was banging Monica.” He gasps in shock but right now I don’t have the control to use my filter. Pregnant? What the fuck.
That’s when it hits me. Mason. It is his. Well shit, could this get any worse?
“Miss Hunt?” I look up at the now blushing doctor. “The reason that this needs to be discussed is that we cannot go through with your chemotherapy if you are pregnant. Chemotherapy can harm the fetus, especially if it is given during the first trimester of pregnancy when the fetus' organs are still developing. During the first trimester it could cause birth defects or even the loss of the pregnancy.”
Loss of the pregnancy. Birth defects. The words keep repeating in my head. “What about after the first trimester? Like if I waited until the second trimester, and then went through with the treatment. Would the baby be okay?”
“I can’t give you a clear answer on that. Chemotherapy in the later stages of pregnancy may not directly harm the baby, but it may cause side effects like malnutrition and anemia in the mother that may cause indirect harm. Also if it is given during the second and third trimesters it sometimes causes early labor and low birth weight, both of which may lead to further health concerns for the mother and the baby. The baby may struggle to gain weight and fight infections, and the mother may have trouble breastfeeding. Seeing as this is new information I’m sure you’ll need some time to weigh your decision.” The look on his face is solemn as he stares at me.
My stomach drops. It’s a choice. An either or. For me there really isn’t a choice. “I’m not doing the treatment.”
I see the apparent shock in his face. “Miss Hunt, I strongly suggest that you rethink this decision, or at least take some time.”
“I don’t need time. I’m guessing that I need to go see a different kind of doctor now. Thank you.” I walk past him feigning confidence and hiding a paralyzing fear.
I head straight for the parking lot and once I get to my car I just sit. I don’t think anything has really sunk in.
I’m pregnant.
I’m pregnant with Mason’s baby.
I have cancer.
I can’t get treatment.
I want to call Jules, to talk all of this out with her. I can’t. She will tell me to get the treatment. I have wanted to be a mother for so long. Scott always told me it wasn’t an option and with my low chances anyway I accepted that. I stuffed my dream deep down inside and forced myself to forget how mu
ch I wanted it. But now I have it.
I look down and my hands are placed on my stomach. There is a life in there. One that I created. Whether I did it knowingly or not, I created it. Is it possible to be in love with someone who you just found out existed?
I know that if I told anyone my choice that they would think I was crazy. Maybe I am. One thing I definitely am now is a mother, and I’m not willing to give that up. I’m not going to tell anyone, at least not right now. I want to live in my little, irrational, blissfully ignorant bubble. I know that avoidance isn’t the best path to take when dealing with a problem, but it’s the one I choose.
I refuse to give up this baby’s life for my own.
Once I get home I sort through the take out menu’s for all the shit I could never eat before. Screw dieting and exercise, bring on pizza and ice cream. I am going to enjoy this shit. My happiness is only masking my true feelings.
I’m scared out of my fucking mind.
Chapter Five
Pregnant.
How could that one night amount to this? I mean what the hell are the chances. Jules has been calling me since yesterday but I haven’t answered her. She can usually see right through my bullshit and I know I’m going to have to work on my acting skills to pretend like everything is fine. In reality I’m freaking out. I have no idea how I’m going to hide this. Not only is the cancer going to start to make me sick, but the pregnancy might too. The doctor’s words keep rolling through my head about weighing my decision.
I don’t regret immediately telling him what I wanted. I know that no matter what happens, I want to see this pregnancy through. I want the chance to be a mother and to have a child. It may be unrealistic but I think that this was meant to be and that in the end it will all work out. Things will turn out the way they are supposed to. For some reason unknown to me I was meant to get pregnant. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and that people are put in your life for a purpose.
Saving Her Page 2