by D. J. Manly
"Believe me"--Mark smiled--"I'll show you. You ever been fucked?"
He never blinked an eye--he just laughed at him.
"What? I'm serious."
"You're way out of line," the hunk shot back at him, picking up his things and walking in the direction of the house.
Mark chased after him. "You have a great ass."
He turned and looked at him. "Yeah? Well I'm going to kick yours if you don't fuck off."
Mark's balloon deflated. The man of his dreams disappeared inside the house.
The other guy who'd made a beeline for him at the same time as Mark came up beside him. "Got it bad for him, eh?"
Mark glanced at him. "He's hot. Is he into guys? Maybe he's straight."
"He can take your ass for a ride that you wouldn't ever forget."
"Oh yeah?" Mark smiled. "He likes to play hard to get though."
"He's tired of being hit on maybe. He gets it all the time."
"Why does he come here then?"
"He lives here," the guy told him. "His name is Owens, Reed Owens. He's home from university. I come here at this time every year because I know he'll be here."
"What, just to admire him from a distance?"
"No, to get fucked by him."
Now Mark was excited. "You've been with him? Are you shitting me?"
"Nope," he said, grinning. "I'm not shitting you."
Mark walked away, smiling. For the next week, he was going to make getting into Reed Owens's pants his only mission.
Mark quickly discovered that if he wanted to be close to Reed, he was going to have to get in with the gang of guys Reed hung with. This turned out to be two men Reed had been at university with, and the one who'd bragged about being with Reed that first day on the beach. His name was Keith.
Mark tried various ploys to get Reed's attention. Reed didn't really pay him much attention, but he was polite when Mark spoke to him. And then Mark made a point of joining them around the campfire after dark. For two nights, he sat there, drinking and smoking pot, having only moments of communication with Reed, but it was better than nothing.
If Reed was getting it on with those three guys, he was doing it elsewhere because Mark always ended up passing out by the fire and waking up alone.
However, one night something happened that would change his life forever. That night, he found Reed sitting on the other end of the beach by himself. Mark boldly sat beside him. It was now or never. They talked, really talked, and Reed told him that he was tired of partying with "those idiots."
"All they ever think about is cock," he said. "They've got nothing interesting to say. And they're pretty vanilla when it comes to sex."
Mark didn't dare make a move. He didn't want to fall into the same category as the others.
They ended up falling asleep on the beach, and when Mark opened his eyes Reed was lying so close to him, he couldn't resist. He undid Reed's pants and started to suck his cock. When Reed woke up he was hard and horny, and more than a little pissed off at him. But his cock ruled and Reed fucked him down there on the beach.
Mark was in love. He couldn't wait to tell Leo. He penned him off a letter right away, knowing he'd get it after Mark was home. But it didn't matter, he was bursting with it. Later that night when he saw Reed, Reed acted like nothing had happened between them. When Mark confronted him, confessing that he was crazy about him, Reed looked surprised. "Mark, it was just sex," he told him.
Mark felt Reed's attitude was callous and cold, but after he'd had time to mull it over, he convinced himself that Read didn't really mean it. He was determined to have him again. Every chance he had to get Reed alone, he increased his efforts to seduce him, and he succeeded the night before he left to go home with his family. The sex was rough trade all the way, exciting, mind blowing.
He told Reed that he loved him. Reed told him he was "out of his mind."
When Mark got home, he told his father that he wanted to work at that resort in Florida in the summer. His father was pleased that Mark wanted to work in the summer, and immediately called Mr. Owens, who was pleased to help out.
He told Mark's father that Reed would soon be running the place, and that he was intending to give it up. Mark's father immediately wired Mr. Owens some money. Mark not only would work at the resort in the summer, he would have a financial interest in it.
Reed was livid when he found out what Mark had done, and the same day Mark arrived at the resort, Reed packed his bags and left. He came back off and on, but never stayed long, leaving Mark to run the place on his own.
When Mark surprised Reed by moving into the master bedroom, Reed moved into the room down the hall, even putting a lock on it.
Several times, Reed had tried to buy him out, but Mark would have none of it. Having a stake in the place was the only way to hang onto Reed, and both of them knew it. And when Reed threatened to never come back again if Mark didn't leave, Mark threatened to kill himself.
Three times, he made feeble attempts at suicide, which brought a frantic Reed running back to him. All the while he wrote letters to Leo, telling him about the torrid love affair he was having with Reed, and how Reed mistreated him and cheated on him.
Then, suddenly, the world caved in. Reed came home but with another man; a man he said was the love of his life.
Clifford was a simple man, calm, spiritual, and ruggedly handsome. He was polite to Mark, even when Mark made it clear how he felt about him being there.
"I told Clifford everything," Reed informed Mark. "There are no secrets between us."
"Did you tell him how you fucked me and deserted me?"
"Mark, that was a long time ago, and I made it clear. It was twice. Jesus Christ, am I to pay for it the rest of my life? It wasn't love. Why do you keep hanging on to this fantasy?"
"Why did you bring him here?" Mark demanded tearfully one night.
"To make you realize," Reed had said, placing a hand on his shoulder. His voice had been gentle. "There is nothing between us. There has never been anything between us. I love him. I want to be with him, be his lover. Accept it. Move on. Find someone who will love you, Mark."
"Never! I'll never let him have you," he'd screamed at Reed, driving him out of the room.
* * * *
Tears ran down Leo's face. Mark looked at him, as if he'd just woken up from some kind of a trance. He'd told him all of this without a single tear, without much emotion at all really, as if he'd been recalling a dream. He'd seemed so far away when he spoke, recalling it like some sort of movie of the week.
Leo shuddered. "God, Mark," he whispered, his eyes wide, "you didn't kill Reed's lover, did you?"
"Yes, I did, but not in the way you think."
Leo swallowed, frightened suddenly. "What do you mean?"
"That night, I was so angry. I watched them together from the upstairs window. They were in the garden outside, heads together. The way Clifford touched him, looked at him. I wanted to kill somebody. I wanted to walk out there and pull Clifford away from Reed, and pound his face into the ground. I didn't want Cliff touching him. I couldn't sleep at night thinking of Reed fucking him down the hall. You have to understand, Leo," he pleaded, "I was desperate, depressed, suffering from lack of sleep. So when Reed went jogging one morning, and Clifford came down for breakfast, I told him that Reed had been lying to him, that we were still lovers, and had been all the time. I cried, I carried on, and he bought it. He bought every word. Jesus Christ, I'll never forget the look on his face. It's as if I had ripped out his heart with my hand. He was devastated."
Mark was sobbing now, his words coming in gulps. "He took off...in Reed's car...like a bat out of hell, tires spinning. He passed Reed coming back from his jog. Reed ran into the house and demanded to know what had happened. I said that Clifford had started screaming at me for no reason, that he was jealous of me, had accused me of all kinds of things, and he wanted me to leave. I made up some story to make myself look like the victim. Reed didn't believe me, of
course. He knew I'd said something."
"He had..." Leo could hardly get the words out. "He had a car accident?"
Mark nodded. "He went to the bar, got wasted, and was on his way back here. Maybe he wanted to confront Reed, or maybe he'd decided I had lied to him. We'll never know because he never made it. His car went off the road about two miles from here."
Leo tasted the tears in his mouth.
"After that," Mark sighed, "Reed went into a deep depression. He stayed here, and I did my best to comfort him. If he blamed me, he didn't show it. I believe he really didn't have the strength to be angry. He was so..." Mark whimpered. "Oh, God, he was so sad. I'd never seen him that way. I could hardly stand it. I would have given my life to see the old Reed, even to bring Cliff back to life if I had to. Eventually, Reed made his way into my bed. It was inevitable. He needed me. I was so happy, Leo. I didn't think about what I'd done. I had his body, and I made believe that he loved me, that I had his heart, too. But I never had his love. It might have stayed that way, Reed lost in misery, sleeping in my arms every night if," he drew a painful breath, "well, Clifford's brother showed up out of blue about a month after the accident."
"His brother came here?"
"Yes. He was so angry at Reed. He let into him something terrible, telling him that he was responsible for Clifford's death. Reed just stood there taking it. I couldn't stand it and I came out into the living room where they were. Cliff's brother saw me and he went mad. He said he couldn't believe, after what Clifford had told him that night, that I would still be here with Reed."
"Oh, God," Leo said, wiping his tears.
Mark nodded. His eyes were red. "You've already guessed it. Clifford had called his brother that night from the bar. He told him everything I'd said. Reed listened quietly as Cliff's brother recounted it all. Reed didn't say a word. Clifford's brother called Reed a couple of choice names and then, thankfully, left. I got on my knees. I pleaded and begged, but it was over. And I knew it would never be the same again. I was responsible for Cliff's death. I was the reason Cliff had taken his car that night and driven it off the road. Reed told me he hated me."
Leo stood. How could he comfort him? "Everything you told me about you and Reed has been a lie! There never was a you and Reed. You made it up in your head. You came out here and seduced him, and then refused to let him go. And all this time, you've held him hostage. How have you managed to do it, Mark? What kept him here so long?"
"Leo, you need to understand. I loved him. I love him so much that my..."
Leo shook his head. "But he doesn't love you, Mark. He wasn't lying when he told me that. He's never been in love with you."
"Why are you taking his side? You're supposed to be my friend, Leo, not his."
God, God, God, what if Reed had really cared? What if those two times they'd been together had been more than Reed just getting off? Everything he'd thought about him wasn't true, none of it. And maybe he'd left because of him, because... Oh, Reed, damn it, I think I love you.
He looked at Mark, trying to find compassion for him. It was tough, really tough right now, and he knew Mark didn't understand. The last thing he could do was tell him. That would be too cruel. "You said that you had attempted suicide?"
"Yes, but I never intended to follow through, really do it."
Leo walked over and picked up his arm. "I noticed the faint scar a while back. I didn't think much of it. This looks pretty serious."
"It was that time. I cut too deeply."
Leo dropped his wrist. "Mark. What in hell happened to you? You know, I knew about the rough sex you were into when we were in high school. I knew that you were more... Well, I was innocent compared to you. But I loved you. Did you know that?"
"I didn't want a relationship. I was looking for excitement, variety. Reed was a surprise. Here I was, Mr. Cool, Mr. I Want To Be Free And Fuck A Million Guys, and then I saw him and... Leo, I would have been with only him all my life. How in hell could I fall for someone who doesn't want me?" He put his face in his hands.
"It happens," he managed, reaching out to touch him then changing his mind. Reed. Reed. What if I never see you again? What if there could have been...no, it was crazy. It was sex, that's all, great sex, but just sex. There was no point dwelling on it.
"Mark, I need to be alone. Do you mind?"
"You're not leaving me, are you?" Mark picked up his face and looked at him. "Please, Leo. Your sister can come and... I don't want to be alone. Please, Reed is not coming back this time. He made it clear to me. He doesn't give a damn about this place. He never has."
Leo nodded. "I'll stay for a while," he said and slowly left his room.
He walked upstairs to the art room. The lounge chair sat in the corner, the red sheet that belonged to Adrian was laying on it in a heap. Leo went to his canvas. He stared at the emptiness and then picked up a paintbrush and started to paint.
Chapter 5
* * *
Mark finally crawled out of bed at six o'clock the following evening. He couldn't believe it. He'd taken two Seroquel that the doctor had prescribed for depression and they had knocked him right out.
He felt like shit. He hoped he'd made the right choice telling Leo the truth. He wasn't sure if he had a best friend anymore. He expected Leo to be compassionate, to understand and forgive him, but Leo didn't react the way he thought he would. He looked traumatized, distraught, and it really didn't make much sense.
He called out his name as he came out of the room, and went downstairs looking for him. Leo was nowhere, but then getting an idea, Mark climbed the stairs to the attic and opened the door to the painting room.
Leo lay curled up on the lounge chair, the red sheet pulled around him.
Mark leaned on the door and faintly smiled. He looked really cute sleeping there, his fair hair tousled. Leo was a great looking guy, and he had a good heart. Mark had hated it when he found out how Pierre had treated him. He wished it had been Leo he'd fallen for. Damn. It would have been so easy. But he was afraid their time had passed. Leo had been in love with him once, back in school, but not anymore. And his own feelings for Leo were more brotherly than anything.
He walked over to the easel to see if he'd done any painting. When he turned it around, his eyes widened. "Reed," he said. The painting wasn't finished but Leo had done the outline and most of the face. He'd captured him perfectly. Mark's heart ached to see that expression on his face he always wore, and his eyes, those beautiful eyes, were filled with something...desire maybe...need?
"Do you like it?" Leo asked sleepily.
"Yeah, finish it," Mark told him. "Please."
Leo nodded.
"Do you hate me?"
"Why would I hate you?"
"Now that you know what I'm capable of."
"Mark," Leo said, rising from the chair. "It's what you've done to yourself that bothers me the most."
Mark walked over and wrapped his arms around him. He held him, kissed the top of his head. "I keep telling myself this is for the best, that now maybe I can heal, knowing for sure he's not coming back. I wish I could convince myself of that."
"I'll help you," he said, rubbing his back for a minute, then stepping away.
"We have only one month before the guests start to arrive." Mark wiped the tear off his cheek. He gave Leo a robust smile. "We're booked solid. You'll help me run the place this summer? I'll pay you well and..."
Leo nodded. "Okay. But after this summer, Mark, I've got to get my life together. I want to go to New York, try to sell my work."
"I understand. Okay. God, I've got to shower. I reek. And I'm starved."
"Can we get out of here for awhile, eat somewhere?"
"Yeah, we'll go to town."
* * * *
Leo walked over to the window and looked out. The sun dipped low, and the sky was inked with oranges and purples. He wondered what the sky looked like where Reed was. Was he looking at it now, or staring into someone's eyes?
"Pathetic,"
he whispered, going over to look at what he'd painted. Both he and Mark in love with the same man, a man who didn't love either one of them; that was pathetic. He picked up the painting and turned it around so he didn't have to see it.
He walked down the steps to his room, hunting for his clothes. He couldn't turn his back on his best friend for a man who'd just walked away from him. And he really didn't have anywhere to go. He couldn't bear the thought of going home, and he had little money anyway. He'd stay because Mark really needed him to. Maybe he could help Mark to put Reed Owens behind him for good.
* * * *
Mark received the letter from Reed's lawyer a day after Leo's sister arrived. He folded it and tucked it inside his pants pocket, trying not to let Leo see how distraught he was. But he hadn't been fast enough, and as soon as Leo's sister went down to sit beside the water, Leo asked him what was in the letter.
"Is it from Reed?"
"Kind of, the next best thing." He took it out of his pants. "It's from his lawyer. God, I didn't need this now, not with the first wave of guests coming in this weekend."
"What does it say?"
Mark handed it to him.
Leo took a moment to read it. "Sounds reasonable. If you want to buy him out, you can do it by paying a lump sum or in payments. Or he'll put the place for sale and you'll get your share." He looked at him. "Why don't you sell it, Mark? This place just reminds you of Reed."
"What if he comes back?"
"He's not coming back, Mark. He told you that."
"But as long as I..."
"...hold on to this place, you hold onto hope. It's over. Sell it. Come with me to New York in the fall. Please, Mark."
He nodded suddenly. "Okay."
"Okay? Really?" Leo hugged him. "Perfect. Now where did that brat sister of mine get to?"
"I want to tell him personally though. I'm going to phone him."
"You have his number?"
"Of course I do. I have to have his cell in case something happens here. He still owns most of the place."