She curled her hand into the front of my shirt and I ran mine down the length of her body as she draped her other arm around my neck. Melissa stood on her tiptoes as I captured her lips again, but it wasn’t enough, I needed her closer. I gripped the backs of her thighs and lifted her body in one, fluid, swift motion. Her legs closed around my hips, and I walked her to the bed.
We were falling, lips together, hearts aligned, and when her back hit the mattress, the weight of my body, my need, it held her still beneath me. She pulled at my shirt, and I lifted it over my head with one arm, keeping the other wrapped around her. I brought my mouth back to hers as I raised her sweater. I kissed her belly, her hip, and my fingers folded around the waistband of her pants.
They slid off her legs, revealing everything to me, and after I tossed them to the ground, I pressed my lips to her inner thigh. She whispered my name, and it was the first word uttered over the past five minutes. It filled the quiet space of her apartment, and I liked the sound of it, as if my name belonged to these walls. From between her legs, I watched the way her mouth opened as I tasted her. The feminine scent, it was all Melissa, and it flooded my tongue as I savored and licked. She lifted her hips, fighting my rhythm, fighting against the torture of my slow feast, and when her hands ripped at my hair, I slid two fingers inside her.
I won deep, breathless whimpers, her pleasure was a drug, and I could listen to her pant all night long.
“Kieran,” she begged. “Come here.”
She tugged at my hair, and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I kissed a path up her body. I pushed her sweater over her breasts and was more than happy to see she didn’t have on a bra. I brought the dark peak of her right nipple into my mouth as she pulled her sweater over her head and threw it.
She raised onto her elbows, and I took a moment to admire her. The light from the lamp created deep shadows across her tan skin. Goose bumps lined the teardrop shape of her breast as I drew circles around the tight nipple with my tongue. Every inch of her skin was flawless, and if I hadn’t already seen it, I wouldn’t have even noticed her surgical scar.
The tips of my fingers traced the barely raised skin and her eyes closed.
“I like this.”
“It’s a scar,” she said as she tipped her head back.
“I’m nervous enough as it is, just looking at you…. you’re everything I imagined… everything…” Melissa’s eyes popped open. “We all have something that makes us who we are. It’s ours and ours alone. This scar... it makes you human.” She sat up and I leaned back onto my jean-clad calves. Her eyes glistened and I worried if what I said had upset her.
“What makes you human?” she asked. Her whisper felt small and fragile as her big brown eyes appraised me.
“You.” I cupped her cheek and she smiled. “You make me feel like a man.”
She swallowed, and the glitter I’d seen in her eyes had disappeared “You make me remember how it feels to be worth something.”
She was worth so much more than she gave herself credit for. I’d only known her a short while and I could already see how fucking amazing she was. “With me… you’ll always know, Mel, always. You’re worth so much more than you know.”
She shifted onto her knees without a word. The silhouette of her body was lined by the buttery lamp light. The thick, dark waves of her hair fell over her shoulder, and as I trailed the pads of my thumbs over the silk skin of her hips, she lowered her lips to the corner of my mouth. Her kiss was tender at first, but as her tongue parted my lips, the kiss became a run-on sentence. Long strokes and no time for a breath.
She situated her body just to the side of where I was kneeling and my grip fell from her hips.
Her gaze held mine and her steady hands unbuckled my belt as she said, “Lie down.” It wasn’t a command, it was an offer.
I took it.
My back hit the mattress as I lifted my hips enough to pull off my jeans and boxer briefs. Melissa shoved them onto the floor and straddled my thighs. Holy shit. My throat closed as our eyes devoured each other’s naked forms. She was an hourglass, and my pulse was a deep bass beat. Her hand gripped the length of my dick and a shuddered breath exhaled from my lungs. I grit my teeth as she worked her grip in a lazy rhythm, pumping her small hand up and down.
There wasn’t much in the world I would die for. My brothers, and maybe even my God, but the way Melissa’s thumb swept the head of my dick, the way she was teasing me with easy strokes… I’d die to feel relief, to be inside her, to fill her up, watch her fall apart above me.
She leaned across my body and released her hold. The tip of my dick brushed against her, and I almost lost it right then and there. I closed my eyes when her lips touched mine, the sweet taste of her mouth calmed the stirring waters inside me, the wild rapids only she was capable of conjuring. She kissed my cheek, my jaw, and whispered into my ear, “Do you have a condom?”
No. No, I did not.
I exhaled a sharp breath.
“I don’t.” I hoped she couldn’t hear the stuttered desperation in my voice.
She sat up, and just the sight of her—her caramel skin—it was all on display, and I felt like a kid denied his one wish on Christmas.
She ran her hand through my hair and giggled. “You look so sad right now.”
“I wouldn’t say sad.” I gave her my best lopsided grin even though inside I was slowly dying.
“Hear me out.” She bit the side of her lip and I nodded. “I’m on the pill. And I’ve been tested. So, technically…”
“We don’t need a condom.” Anxiety trickled into each beat of my heart as she nodded and lowered her mouth to mine again.
Every performance fear a man could have ran through my head. All my inexperience rattled inside my ribcage with each irregular beat of my heart. But the way she felt, her skin, her hands in my hair, our bodies pressed together, it felt right, natural, and the panic faded into the feel of her lips on mine. Our kiss became urgent as my hands moved down her waist, past her hips, and between her thighs. She moaned and broke away, lifting the heat of her body from my chest.
Melissa took my hands, guided them back to her waist as she hovered just above me, and when her fingers gripped my length, a low growl vibrated inside my chest. Her eyes were locked on mine, her touch held me prisoner, and as she positioned her body, she allowed the tip of my dick to slide slightly inside her. My eyes tried to close, but I wouldn’t allow it. I wouldn’t let myself miss this. I wouldn’t succumb to the loud rush of blood in my veins. The rise and fall of her chest was heavy as she lowered herself, as I slid into the slick warmth of her.
The world as I knew it had come to an end.
She didn’t move, and neither did our eyes. She was watching me, and I was falling. Falling for the pink of her cheeks that dripped down onto her chest. Falling for the wet heat of her body and how it grounded me. Falling for the way her mouth was open, her perfect lips unable to hold back her soft moan as I filled her completely. Every breath I took connected her to me. We were one in the same, and when she finally rocked her hips, my fingers dug into her flesh.
“Melissa.” Her name strained past my lips. I was in agony and I never wanted to be cured.
The palms of her hands rested on my chest as she moved once, and then again. The muscles in my stomach burned as her mouth crashed into mine. She kept moving, but I couldn’t find the words to tell her to stop. My teeth nipped at her chin. My hands failed to guide her pace. She was too tight, felt so good, and I sensed that build at the base my spine as I growled for her to stop.
“Fuck.” I groaned and sat up bringing us chest to chest.
She adjusted her legs to the new position and we both took a minute to breathe.
Her body consumed me fully as her heels dug into the flesh of my lower back. Buried inside her, my eyes fell to where our bodies were connected, and I sucked in a strangled breath when she rolled her hips.
“You’re trying to end this before we even get started?”
I asked and her overly pleased smile made me laugh.
Her fingers tickled the nape of my neck before they traveled to my shoulders. “Touch me.” Her whisper was warm against my mouth and the heat of it fed the building ache, the impatience of release begging for attention.
She fell back onto the palms of her hands, the angle pulling me in even deeper.
I stopped breathing entirely.
If I moved one muscle I was done. After I silently counted to five, I was able to take three even breaths, but it did nothing to ease my furious pulse. I wasn’t ready for the end. I couldn’t let go.
I kept a firm grip on her hips as I moved both of our bodies at once. She fell onto her back and when our connection broke I stifled another groan.
She was splayed out before me with a soft smile. I massaged the muscles of her inner thighs as I pulled them apart. My teeth pinched the skin of her thigh as I moved up her leg with my lips. Our scents had blended together, and I took my time memorizing the new taste, sucking on that sensitive bundle of nerves that would eventually have her crying out my name if I allowed it.
My lips touched her, tasted her, kissed her thighs, her stomach—her mouth. Each part of her was a prayer offering me release. Touching Melissa was like praying the rosary. She was the new prayer I would learn and memorize and worship. Being with her like this had the same effect on my heart, on my soul, as when I’d knelt each night with those familiar beads between my fingers. She held a power over my heart, the ability to break it, own it, and as my lips whispered her name against the skin of her temple, I pushed inside her.
There was no shame in her eyes. No guilt in my heart. We were meant to be linked like this. I pressed deeply, digging for more as our mouths bruised and bit. Each one of her breaths belonged to me as our bodies let go of control. My hands framed her face, and I held her stare as I moved above her. The muscle in my jaw tensed as my shoulders went rigid. Melissa’s nails raked across my back, and I growled into her mouth. Her fingers pressed into the muscles of my hip eliciting another low growl as her legs wound tightly around me. Sweat beaded on my forehead and along my back. I wanted her to have it all, give her everything she was giving me as I slipped my hand between us and touched her.
“Oh, God,” she gasped as her body clenched, and shuddered, and drew my climax to its end.
I swore when the flash of heat lit my spine. The rope that I’d barely been holding snapped and I became pure fucking feeling.
There were no syllables.
No words.
There was no heaven… no hell.
There was only her.
Just… her.
Heat and a divine heaviness surrounded me as the weight of Kieran’s body held me underneath the blanket of his scent. My chest fell with shallow breaths as I sipped from his reverential mouth. His limbs trembled under the slow graze of my fingertips and once his lips parted from mine, they spread into a vivid smile. I’d always had two fractured halves of a heart floating inside my chest. Both parts swollen and bruised, but as his hand drifted down my face, his thumb leaving its print along my cheek, I began to feel the muscle being pulled back together. His touch was love and soul. After tonight, after being with him, I had a new high to chase.
His deep blue eyes connected with mine and lifted every hair on my body. And, when my mouth split into a broad smile, his muscles relaxed as his cheeks filled with pink. I brought my fingertips to the strong line of his jaw and he shut his eyes.
“You look different,” I whispered softly, and his eyes opened on a chuckle.
“Yeah?”
“Mm-hmm. Less… burdened. A little lighter, I think.”
“I feel…” He dropped his face into the crook of my neck. When he spoke, the heat of his breath tickled my overheated skin. “I should be able to describe it, but I can’t… I just feel it… feel you.” He was inside me, his release still flickering in his eyes when he looked at me again. “That was… I’m so glad I waited.”
Kieran’s nose skimmed along the length of my shoulder with a long inhale, and I giggled lightly. “Why? Was it bad?”
He lifted his head, his eyes round, his brows raised. “Hell no, that was the single most amazing experience of my entire life, but I’m glad I waited because I got to share it with you.”
My heart squeezed out two achingly perfect beats. I wanted to sink inside that declaration, but the cynical half of my brain told me I couldn’t. I shouldn’t fully fall in love with what he’d just said. I knew the truth. I’d taken his innocence like a thief in the night. He didn’t really know me. He only saw what I’d shown him, and underneath the façade, I was nothing more than a liar with a wicked lure.
He rolled his body in one graceful turn and settled onto his side. His hand splayed across my belly and his fingers began to draw long lines up and down my flesh. He nervously chewed on his bottom lip—his silence a shroud.
“You’re making me nervous. What are you thinking about?” I asked.
His throat worked on a swallow. “Did I… I mean, it felt like you…” Kieran’s face flamed and the sweet color of his cheeks pulled me from the threatening shadows.
“You want the truth?”
He frowned. “Shit… maybe sugar coat it?”
I laughed and his smile became the last bit of sunlight I needed. “Kieran…” I licked my lips and let the gallop of my heart rate mow down a few of my own defenses. My face sobered and I sat up, placing my hand on his arm. “The truth…” The roar of blood behind my ears made it hard to hear my own shaking voice. Honesty shouldn’t be this scary. But it was. “It was perfect. You… are perfect.” I shrugged. “I’m honored that you shared this with me. I’ve only ever been with my ex, and he was always high.”
Pity dulled the brightness in his eyes, and my stomach soured with shame. I didn’t deserve those sad blue eyes. He dusted his fingers across my cheek, and I fell into his touch. “He was?”
My eyes closed and then opened in what felt like slow motion. I wanted to say the words. I wanted to tell him just one simple truth. He deserved it. But he was perfect, and it’d been forever since I’d known what it was like to be happy. I was weak. A selfish, awful coward. And I loaded up another half-truth.
“Yeah.” I broke away from his intense gaze, too afraid to read the disgust in his features. “It was the only way he could get in the mood…” The only way either of us could. “And, after a while, I think we both forgot what it was like to feel… I’ve been numb for so… so long.”
“Hey… look at me.” Kieran’s tone was a soft demand without a hint of judgment.
My eyes singed with tears that had forced their way to the surface as I met his gaze straight on. Every last breath I owned vanished. The way he appraised me, his stare was filled with calm, azure waters and an understanding etched across his dipped brows. His eyes held me in silent vigil and they whispered across the small space, you mean something to me.
“Don’t shut down... not now… not after—”
“Some things shouldn’t be dredged up, Kieran. They should stay forgotten. I can’t—”
He leaned up onto his elbow and brought his mouth just inches from mine. His lips kissed the corner of my mouth, my cheek before he made his way to the sensitive spot just below my ear and whispered, “I never want you to feel numb again.”
All the nerve endings in my body danced. “I don’t think it’s possible for me to feel anything but fire when I’m next to you.”
He leaned back, his confident smile sitting proud on his face as his hand palmed my cheek. Kieran’s tongue wet his full bottom lip, and the motion pooled low between my legs, desperately aware of what that tongue was capable of. I watched as his arousal deepened his breathing, hardened his dick, and made the clear color of his eyes flash with need.
I stopped thinking about the dragon in my veins and how his memory was ancient. How, at any moment, my war against addiction could be lost. How it might’ve already been forfeit. I was clearly addicted to the feeling
s I had for Kieran. He was all that mattered. He had no idea how easily I could fall for him, and how fast I could destroy everything he’s ever wanted. But, even though I was a liar, I hoped that I could make him happy. I could give him what he needed. My history would never be rewritten, and as Kieran’s hand slid down to my neck, his strong fingers pulling me in, I made up my mind.
He never needed to know.
He didn’t have to know.
It was like that old saying, what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, and I never wanted to hurt him. Who I’d been wouldn’t define our future. He was here, alive and wanting, and I could give him what was left of me. What was left of me could be good enough.
My mouth explored his as my hand wandered shamelessly down the hard muscle of his defined chest. He fell onto his back with a quiet hum as I delicately folded my fingers around his length.
“Tell me what you want. Let me make you happy.” The words in my head tumbled out of my mouth, and he closed his eyes with a groan as his hands fisted into my hair.
I savored the sensation of his soft skin as I worked my hand up and then down, stealing his ability to speak beyond a roughly gasped “fuck” and “just like that.” I admired the tightening of his stomach muscles, the desperate look in his eyes when he finally opened them. His hold on my hair dropped suddenly and fell to my hip. He reached his other hand to grab me in a quick motion that had me straddled over his thighs in less than ten seconds. His strength, the way he tossed me around like I weighed nothing, made me feel fragile, but in a good way.
I bent over and tasted the tip of his cock. Playing with him a little. When he hissed and lifted my chin with his finger I smiled.
“You’re teasing me.”
“I am.” I sank my teeth into my bottom lip.
“I like it…” His fingers dug into the flesh of my hips as he lifted my body and aligned himself at my entrance. “But this is so much better,” he said. His blue eyes turned dark as he gave himself over to the storm and lowered me onto his body.
Poet Page 19