He laughs, and there it is.
“Lee, I’m going to taste you then fuck you. I’m going to make you forget everything that’s going on in that pretty little mind of yours. I’m going to leave you breathless and wanting more. Then when I give in to you, because I’m sure I will, I’ll give you more and leave you so exhausted that your tired and aching body will fall into a deep sleep. And all you’ll dream about is me.”
I clench my thighs together as he continues to stare at me. Bloody hell, he’s good. Really good. Seducing me with words.
I’m done for.
Logan
THE GASP THAT escapes her has me internally smiling and my dick aching. I have, I think, the same effect on her as she has on me, and this is where I see problems in the near future. She doesn’t know it, but this sexy woman underneath me has owned my thoughts for weeks. Since our very first meeting. The more time I spend with her, the further she gets under my skin. I’m not sure if that’s such a good thing.
I’m not one of those guys who wears his heart on his sleeve. Maybe I should be, but it’s not me. So many people get hurt or used for doing that. So I’m trying to keep my heart under wraps where it’s safe.
There’s a shift in the air around us. Nothing to be heard except our breathing. I watch as she struggles to draw in a breath; she’s anticipating my next move.
I don’t let her wait long to find out. I lower my body until I’m pressed hard against her, my lips on hers. Her hands grab hold of me tightly, urging me closer. There’s nothing soft or gentle about this kiss. It’s a kiss packed full of emotions; greed and need. And we’re both guilty of taking what the other offers.
My tongue brushes against hers and I swear sparks fly in all directions. Each time we share a connection, I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of emotions.
I tear my mouth from hers, put a knee between her legs, and push them apart. Her eyes are alight with an array of colours all dancing together.
“Fucking hell, Lee. I want you so badly.”
I don’t give her the chance to respond before I delve back to her mouth, catching her off guard. I take everything she offers from the kiss and more.
Lee makes me feel wanted and desired on a whole different level; something real. And as I feel her lips on me, the thought of something real, a proper relationship, scares me to death. It’s not something I’ve contemplated for years, with good reason, but a part of me would love to give it a chance. Another part of me says Lee is too good for me.
Those thoughts now firmly cemented in my head have me hesitating. As if sensing my sudden discomfort, she stops and moves her hands to frame my face. Our eyes meet and all I see is fear. Fear that I might turn my back on her. If only it were that simple. I’ve tried walking away and leaving her alone, but for whatever reason, I always end up back with her.
“I need you,” she says, softly brushing her lips against mine. This feels almost as good as the lust-filled kiss we shared moments ago.
I allow her words to sink in. “And you’ll have me, in more ways than one.” We meet in the middle, a tangled mess of hands roaming the other’s body, tongues colliding. I lower my hands to her hips, pushing down her shorts with a sense of urgency.
“God, yes,” she mutters breathlessly into my mouth. My fingers part her, play and tease before delving deep inside. She wants me and now she’s getting everything she needs.
Her teeth nip against my lip as my fingers push her close to the edge. It would be so easy to let her fall apart. She moans against me. She’s so damn close and looks so sexy. I push deep, my thumb sliding over her clit. Her eyes close and I watch as her orgasm takes hold of her.
Such a beautiful sight.
One I could watch again and again.
“Dear God.”
“Afraid it’s only me.”
Her eyes fly open and she giggles. She looks sexy as fuck but sounds too darn cute.
I ache to be deep inside her. I’m trying to slow down to savour this moment, but seriously, those little noises she’s making are a huge turn on. I still need and want to taste her, because the memory I have isn’t enough anymore.
Slowly, I kiss my way down her toned stomach. With each kiss, a soft moan escapes her. She tries pressing her thighs together, but can’t. I’m firmly wedged between them. The minute my eyes dip lower, I’m done for.
I reach under her arse, pulling her closer, the scent of her only making my dick ache more. Running my finger along her folds, I moan. I know the second my dick slips inside her and her pussy clenches tightly around me, I won’t last long.
And as much as I want that, right now, my main focus is making her feel amazing.
Before I dip my head, I steal a glance into those stunning blue eyes. All I see is want; she wants everything I’m going to give her. With a smile, I bury my head between her legs. Slowly, I lick from her clit down then back up. Her soft groans of satisfaction are heavenly. Soft and slow, teasing, then I apply more pressure, flicking my tongue faster.
She writhes beneath my touch. With added pressure, I slide my fingers back inside her. She grabs onto the bed sheets before clawing at my shoulders, trying to ease the building pressure inside her.
With my tongue still buried between her thighs, I look up; her skin glistens with a soft sheen of sweat. Her hair is a tangled mess, but she still looks amazing. But it’s the lust-filled eyes that grab my attention. I’m doing this to her. I’m the one turning her on.
I keep my eyes on hers as I lick slowly and dig my fingers in deeper. The groan from her lips makes me want to stop what I’m doing because I need to feel my release.
She closes her eyes, her breathing faint. Her whole body tightens. I lap every last ounce of her pleasure as she cries out my name.
“Please. No more, Logan.” I finally stop when I know she can’t take it anymore.
I remove my boxers before crawling up the bed until my face is in line with hers. My dick is where I want it to be, but I wait because I won’t take unless it’s what she really wants. She grabs my face roughly and, with violent passion, pulls my mouth to hers, tasting her own arousal. Fuck, this is hot. She sucks on my tongue and I can’t help but groan.
“Fuck me, Logan.”
I slide effortlessly inside her and still. Fear grips me because this feels too good. She feels good. We feel great together and this is what frightens me the most, because I don’t know what to do about my feelings.
I’m breaking my own rules with Lee.
Taking hold of her arse, I pull her closer, leaving no distance between us. I thrust slowly at first. Her eyes roll back, her lips fall open, and I have no idea what the words are that leave her mouth. But, by God, I love the sounds she makes.
I rock gently against her, but it’s not enough. I need more. More of her. More of us. Together. Without warning, I slam into her harder.
“Please!” she says.
“Hang on. Not yet.”
I pull back before slamming into her. The pace and depth is now set, and all I can do is watch how sexy she looks beneath me as I work myself up to my own release.
My eyes stay on hers which are now opened and on me. She bites her bottom lip and her eyes roll back, but she forces them to stay open.
I don’t think I’ve seen anything sexier in my life than Lee MacKay coming undone beneath me. We surrender together.
She asked me to fuck her, but that’s not what happened. I can honestly say I now know what it feels like to make love to someone.
Fucking incredible.
Lee
SEX COMPLICATES EVERYTHING.
No. Sex doesn’t. It’s my mixed up feelings for Logan that complicates things. I lay here in bed and watched him get ready, back into the kilt and shirt, and all I wanted to say to him was stay. I wanted him to stay in bed with me and wrap his arms around me so I could cuddle in, maybe even fall back to sleep in his arms. But that didn’t happen. It never does with him. When we spend time together, intimate time, I keep hoping that
he’ll feel a spark between us. The one I feel. The one that goes beyond the physical attraction I feel towards him. The one that tells him I’m all his for the taking.
When he was fully dressed, he leaned down, pressed a kiss to my lips, and said, “I’ll let you rest now. Call me if you need anything.” Like I’m going to do that. He’s the last person I would call. He just confuses matters.
He sends off mixed signals, like last night. Picking me up, having me on his arm. Was it a date? He was a bit flirty with me before we left here. But was that a ploy so he could get in my bed? Then he staked his claim on me to poor Jason. Granted, I don’t feel too sorry for Jason. I know men like him all too well. He was only after one thing and I’m sure he would’ve got it from a willing participant. I think Logan was jealous when he saw me talking to him.
I don’t know what to do. Logan is playing games. The biggest game he’s playing is with my mind.
But then he came here after I all but ran out on him after seeing him with Chantelle. I can’t stand the sight of her; she makes my skin crawl. And he stayed with me all night, without doing anything, until this morning.
I sigh and tell myself to stop thinking about him.
At least I don’t have to see him for a few days. With Fletcher and Jess away until Wednesday, there’s no reason for me to be around him. A few days to straighten my head out. Talk some sense into myself.
Now I’m lying here in bed because I have nothing better to do and I’m still feeling a bit queasy. I’ve tossed and turned for the last hour and a half since he left. If only I could fall into a deep sleep, have sweet dreams, and wake up feeling one hundred percent better and rested. Now that would be perfect, but this is me, and as I’m slowly finding out, nothing seems to go the way I want it. If it did, Logan would still be here and he would feel the same way about me as I do him.
I shake my thoughts away because they’re not helping me. Instead, I try to think of something to do. Something worthwhile to get me out of bed today. But there’s nothing. I could pop over and see Louise, Fletcher’s sister, and her adorable baby, Josh. I don’t really know her though. I’ve only meet her a few times, so I rule that out. I’m sure Jess’s parents are keeping an eye on them.
I could get up and go to my parents’, but then my mum would only start asking me a hundred-and-one questions, like why I haven’t found myself a young man yet. That I can do without that today.
I close my eyes and, for the first time ever, I feel empty. The apartment is so quiet and, today, for whatever reason, it bugs me. It’s never bothered me before, so why now?
I feel lonely and I shouldn’t. I have family and friends who I see almost every day. That’s just it. I need more. I need someone special in my life. To share good times and bad. Someone who will love me for being myself. Just me. No pretence.
Again, my thoughts are of Logan. It doesn’t matter how often I try to brush thoughts of him aside, they always return.
I know he’s not someone I should pin hopes and dreams on, but I can’t help that my mind thinks he is. He could be my someone special if he gives me the chance.
“Enough of these stupid thoughts, you silly girl.” I lower the bed covers and climb out of bed too quickly. Dizziness and nausea, like yesterday when I was getting ready. I sit back down, waiting a few moments before finally standing back up.
Better. Well, for a while. If this keeps up, I’m going to have to make an appointment with the doctor and find out what the hell is wrong with me.
Time to have a shower, wash his scent from me, and try harder to put him to the back of my mind. Easier said than done.
Like yesterday, I don’t stay too long in the shower. I usually love nothing more than a long, hot shower. There’s something about it that helps ease away stress, gives me a sense of relief and, of course, makes me feel fresher. But not today. Today I feel agitated.
I need tea. I’m sure that will help. After pulling on a clean pair of PJs, I brush through my hair and tie it back. I should put on clothes and go out and buy new hair straighteners, but I can’t be bothered. Tomorrow morning, when I’m getting ready for work, I’ll regret this decision.
Today is a day for lounging around the house, maybe watch a film and eat some comfort food. A homemade Sunday dinner; now that’s comforting. Maybe I should call my mum, tell her I’m not feeling well and get her to bring me some dinner. That thought drifts back out of my head as quickly as it entered. She would only spend time here fussing and I don’t need that.
I make myself a cup of tea with two sugars. My face must be a picture; I don’t usually take sugar, but for some reason, I want it. After the first few sips, I decide its okay, although it won’t be good for my waistline, but I’ll worry about that later. Much later.
I settle on the sofa, TV remote in one hand and cup in the other, and get comfortable. I plan on staying here most of the day.
I wake to an almost darkened room; the noise of the TV filters through. I can’t even remember what I was watching when I fell asleep. Right now, the noise is a distraction from how empty I feel again. I don’t have the time or inclination to analyse what this means. I’m certain if I did, the answers would lead me to Logan, and I’ve tried to keep all thoughts of him tucked away. But they don’t stay away for long before they resurface.
Closing my eyes again for a moment, I welcome the darkness. Everything around me is clouded but, there in the haze, I see him. He’s still lingering.
This isn’t good.
My body aches from lying curled up. I should stretch out, relieve my aches and pains, and I need to eat. I look at the time. It’s seven-thirty a.m. Bloody hell. How did I manage to sleep all night? Now I really do need to move; shower, get dressed, and eat.
I drag myself off the sofa and wander through to the kitchen. Maybe my subconscious mind is telling me to eat first. After all, I didn’t eat anything yesterday and not much on Saturday. I put the kettle on. May as well start my day with a coffee. It might help me feel human.
I’m not normally one for breakfast first thing in the morning, but today I’ll make the exception. I take bacon from the fridge and put four slices under the grill, grab bread for the toaster, and wait. I switch on my phone. There’s a missed call from my mum, two calls and two messages from Fran, and one message from Logan. I open his.
Remember if you need anything, call me. I hope you are resting.
I’ll text him later. I open Fran’s messages.
Just checking in to see how you are.
Lee I’m going to come by the office. I might be able to help you while Jess is away or it will just keep me out of trouble.
I smile at her words. I can’t imagine Fran causing trouble, but it might be nice to have some company. The toaster pops, distracting me again, so I make my coffee and sort my breakfast. The smell in my kitchen is heavenly.
The first mouthful is delicious. I put the toast down so I can take a drink of my coffee and, as I lift it, the smell hits me hard. My stomach churns. This is because you haven’t eaten.
I dash across the kitchen to the sink with my hand clasped over my mouth because I know I’ll never make it to my bathroom. That horrible feeling you get just before being violently sick strikes me hard. I turn the tap on at the same time as throwing up. When I finally stop being sick, I slowly lift my head. My body is shaking, and all I want to do is curl back up on the couch.
This was bound to happen when Jess is away. I have no one to cover for me at the office. I need to pull myself together; the office won’t run itself. Not on a bloody Monday. There’s always so much to do and there’ll be a mountain of messages on the answerphone. I take a step back from the sink but the room starts spinning. I grab hold of the work surface to steady myself. There’s no way I can go into work like this.
My phone starts ringing and it’s Fran. “Hey, Fran. What’s up?” I try to sound cheery but I know it’s not working.
“Never mind me. What’s wrong with you?”
“Still
feeling off and now I’ve been sick.”
“Are you going to take the day off?”
“I can’t. I need to go in.” Again, my stomach starts churning and I know I’m going to be sick. “Fran, can I call you back . . .” I don’t wait for her to answer before I hang up and, again, find myself leaning over the kitchen sink, throwing up.
My couch is comfortable. I’ve dealt with a few important emails, checked the office answerphone, and reset it with a message that I’m out of the office all day. That should buy me today at least to feel better. Logan has texted again this morning, but I’ve not replied.
A loud knocking at the door startles me. I want to ignore it but it might be important. Slowly, I stand, hoping to avoid the dizziness and nausea I’ve had each time I get up. This time is no different. I pad across the floor into the hallway and open the door. Fran stands with her back to me, hair flowing down her back, carrier bag in one hand and car keys in the other. She turns around and gasps as she takes in what I’m sure is my ghostly appearance.
“Lee, this is not a good look. Bloody hell. Why didn’t you call me?”
“Because . . . oh, I don’t know.”
“Come on.” She takes my arm. “Let’s see if we can figure out what’s wrong with you.”
We walk back to the living room at my snail’s pace. The room is untidy and I feel not only embarrassed about the state of it, but me. Especially compared to Fran, who looks her usual immaculate self.
“Have you been sick again since you hung up on me?” she asks as I sit back down.
“No and I’m starting to feel a little better,” I lie.
“You can tell yourself that all you like, but I don’t believe you. Now, don’t hate me.” She rummages about the carrier bag, looking for something. “Here.” I narrow my eyes and shake my head. No way. But as she hands me a pregnancy test, reality hits me like a slap in the face. It’s more than a possibility. I can’t remember the last time I had my period. It must have been months ago.
Saving the Game Page 5