“Yeah, I know. I’m the bestest.”
“Hey, what about me, Skywalker?” Tyler protested.
Skye gave him a smile. “You’re the bestest, too.” She turned back to Tasha. “Tasha, I’m so glad Ty met you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him.”
“You’re stealing all my lines, you know,” Tyler teased.
The girls ignored him.
“He’s the best thing that ever happened to me too,” Tasha said, a look of contentment in her eyes.
“Jesus, can we stop with the mushy stuff now, please?” Tyler gave a groan, hoping to make Skye smile at him again.
Tasha rolled her eyes at him. “So, Skye, how about we settle in for some games and pizza today?”
“Guys, I appreciate you being here for me, but I can’t do this now. Not yet. I need time to just be. To just, I don’t know, adjust.” Skye stared at her blanketed hands.
Ty started to object but Tasha gave a small shake of her head.
“Okay, sweetie. Give us a call if you need anything.” Tasha hugged her again then stood up.
“Yeah, use that blue contraption you carry around in your pocket all the time that you call a phone,” Tyler retorted as he hugged her too.
“Very funny, Ty.”
It pleased him to see Skye roll her eyes at him. Her pallor still worried him though.
“Call us,” Ty ordered her.
Skye heard them talking to Kiera before they left. It had taken all of her control to keep her emotions in check and hide her pain from her friends. It was exhausting to act as if there wasn’t a hole inside of her.
She saw Kiera’s reflection on the glass of the window as she came up behind her.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m okay,” Skye told her reflection.
“Skye, you know you can’t stay cooped up like this.”
“I just need time. To think. To get my energy back.” Skye rested her head against the glass. “I feel so depleted.”
“Is that a ploy to get out of helping me clean the house? Because I can tell you it’s highly effective.”
A ghost of a smile touched Skye’s lips. “Should have thought of that as an excuse.”
“Oh, hon.” Kiera squeezed her in a one-armed hug. “I get it, Skye. What do you need from me?”
“I just… I need some time… by myself.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay all by yourself?”
Skye could hear the worry in her voice. “I’m sure. And I know all I need to do is call you and you’ll be here.”
“You better.” Kiera straightened up. “There’s leftover food in the fridge. Try to eat some okay?” Though she had a feeling the food would just stay frozen. “Everything will be okay, sweetie. I’ll lock the door after me.”
“Thanks, Kiera.” Skye watched as with one last hug, Kiera left. The moment the apartment door closed behind her, she turned back to the window.
Skye stared at her reflection on the glass. It seemed apt to see the rain washing through it, washing her life away. She only wished it could wash away the excruciating pain as well.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Life went on even when your world was crashing down around you.
Skye wished she could stay at home forever but even though the thought of seeing Cian almost broke her down, she couldn’t miss work.
So day after day, off to work she went. Their office was hushed nowadays, the silence almost deafening. No more arguments escalating between her and Cian, no more amused bouts of laughter from Nick and Thea.
Cian was almost eerily quiet now. They spoke from time to time yes, politely so, when it concerned their work. True to the promise they’d made to Marina, they didn’t let their personal feelings affect their work. Because of that promise, Skye couldn’t even request a change of teams.
Thea was barely civil to her, her voice as cold as ice whenever she couldn’t find a way to get out of talking to her. The rest of the time, she satisfied herself with giving her the cold shoulder.
Skye got the message loud and clear. That friendship was officially over. Thea’s apparent dislike for her burned like acid.
Nick didn’t seem to blame or hate her for that matter, god knew why. He treated her as he normally would, for which she was utterly grateful. He refused to let Thea stop him from speaking to her. He was unbearingly gentle with Skye; the sympathy in his eyes almost her undoing.
It hurt, god, it hurt so bad! It tore her heart to pieces all over again to see Cian every day, to be within touching distance of him and be unable to do so.
At least she could be grateful for small favors—she and Cian were no longer partners. To pick up the slack during Thea’s absence, Marina had absolved their partnership. Skye remembered laughing at how Cian had complained about not being able to get her ‘up close and personal’ anymore. But now she was glad for it. Being in the same office with him was already killing her, having to work so close with him would have annihilated her.
Marina knew they had broken up. She made no mention of it, though Skye could see the sympathy in her eyes. What she did do, was give them different clients which kept either Cian or Skye out of the office with her, so at no point in time were the two of them together in the office for long.
Skye could try to get another job but good ones were hard to come by. She’d been lucky to get the one she had.
The only thing she had any control over, the only thing she could do was limit the time she spent in the office when she wasn’t with Marina. The moment the clock struck twelve, she was out like a shot and didn’t get back until lunchtime was over. She mostly just hung out at the waterfront, staying in the deserted areas, more comfortable in her solitude.
By the time five o’clock rolled around, Skye got out of the office like an inmate who’d been let out of prison. Since officers had the choice to either keep late hours or bring their work home, she preferred the latter.
These days when she got home, Skye buried herself in work to the point of exhaustion. When she finally turned in for the night, it was only to lie there in bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t drum up the energy to do anything but lie there like a corpse, unable to sleep.
So, she stuck the earphones of her iPod in her ears and turned the music on loud, drowning out her morbid thoughts until she finally fell asleep.
Skye knew she was falling apart at the seams but she couldn’t seem to do anything about it. At least her inner breakdown wasn’t visible on the outside.
She knew that her friends were worried about her, but she couldn’t talk about this. She couldn’t seem to care about anything. But she tried. Oh, how she tried to get over her pain. It was so hard. Her eyes were dry and yet her tears seemed to drown her inside.
Skye understood now how a person could die of heartache. She would never have wished it on anyone. So, in the end, she did the only thing she could do to survive.
She locked it all away.
Her love for Cian, the pain over breaking up with him. She shut it all away and wrapped the shattered pieces of her heart with ice, encased herself in ice, not letting anything in or out.
Skye blocked it all away, keeping herself busy.
She buried the sexy blue shoes Cian had bought for her to the back of her closet. She hadn’t worn them even once yet but she couldn’t bear to look at them. Not without thinking of him.
Her friends didn’t ask her any questions or urge her to talk about Cian. They let her be but didn’t leave her alone. They seemed to understand that she needed to keep her mind occupied, that it was the only way she could cope. So they went out of their way to help her stay busy, giving her the comfort of knowing they were there for her, for whatever she needed.
She let Ash drag her off sometimes to spend her lunch hour with him, checking out DVDs. He made sure she ate somethin
g. She no longer had any enthusiasm for anything but she did her best to hang on even when she could feel her feet sinking in quicksand. She let herself be carted off to shopping trips with Kiera and Tasha, pretending to be fine but she knew her I’m-back-to-normal attitude didn’t fool them one bit.
Ty came over as often as they did and they hung out playing video games. He didn’t talk much other than swearing at the screen when the game didn’t go as he wished it to, which used to make her burst out laughing all the time. Now, the normalcy of it comforted Skye. He gave her the solace of his company, not demanding any questions and letting her be.
Crystal tried her best to help her by calling her often to make Skye listen to her even if she couldn’t open up to the painful feelings inside of her. Kiera had told her what had happened. She made her smile by relating the latest antics of her eight-year-old son, Dylan and how she and her husband had their hands full with him.
Skye would eternally be grateful for their unshakable support. They didn’t give up on her and it was their love that gave her the strength to keep going.
One day she was at the waterfront on one of her lunch escapades, sitting on a bench staring at the sea when Alastor found her there.
“Well, well, look who we have here,” he said gleefully when he saw her.
Skye inwardly groaned at the sight of him. “What are you doing here, Alastor?”
“It’s a public place, isn’t it?”
“What do you want?”
“I heard you dumped Cian. So how about we have a little fun together?”
Skye understood his meaning clearly. Just the thought of it made her want to puke. She knew exactly what his ulterior motive was, to hurt Cian. As if she’d let that happen.
“When hell freezes over.” Skye let him see the utter disgust on her face at which his turned mean. She stood up to leave but he grabbed her arm, stopping her. “I suggest you remove your hand right now,” she ordered in a frigid voice.
“Think you’re too good for me. You don’t have Cian to protect you today.”
“I can protect myself just fine.” Proving it, she slammed the heel of her palm upwards, connecting with his chin. His head snapped back. He swore in pain as he stumbled and let go of her arm.
“Bitch,” he hissed and tried to grab her again.
Skye pulled back her arm and decked him. She missed his nose and hit his cheek instead. He swore again. She managed to get in a punch to his stomach and he doubled over. Maybe she should have cut her losses and ran away at that point but she felt reckless, throwing caution to the wind and exulted in the satisfaction of hitting him, of letting out some of her frustration over her break-up with Cian.
She’d known the self-defence classes would come in handy one day. If Alastor thought she was easy pickings, he had another think coming.
He tried to get hold of her arm again but this time, she let him pull her into the move. Using his momentum, Skye caught his arm and flipped him on his back. He landed with an ‘oomph!’
By this time, people had gathered around them.
“What’s going on here?” a man called out.
“Miss, do you need help?” someone else said.
“Looks like the missy’s got it under control,” another man said. “Want me to call the cops, missy?”
Skye blew out her breath and turned to the man. “No. But thank you.” If Cian found out about Alastor trying to get his hands on her, who knew what he would do?
“I hear Thea and Nick are back together,” Alastor taunted.
Skye’s eyes widened as she understood what he was insinuating. “It was you? You told Thea’s father about them? You freaking bastard!” She reared her foot back to kick him, then stopped. He just wanted the satisfaction of knowing he’d gotten to her.
“You stay the hell away from them and from me and Cian,” she snapped at him.
As she walked away, Skye became aware she was shaking. Reaction was setting in. Of all the stupid things to do! It could have easily gone the wrong way for her, she could have been hurt. She’d been very lucky to have gotten off unscathed.
Skye thought of Cian as she always eventually ended up doing and wondered how she’d managed to have one more thing to hide from him. Good thing she was wearing long sleeves today. It would cover the swelling of her knuckles.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
She wasn’t eating, Cian thought as he sneaked another look at Skye. He could see she had lost weight, more than she could afford to lose. Her eyes looked bruised and shadowed.
It didn’t make sense. Skye wasn’t supposed to look like that, like she was the one carting around a broken heart. A wave of hope flickered inside Cian. Was it possible she regretted her decision? Could she miss him as much as he missed her?
He watched as she sped out of the office at lunchtime yet again. She was doing that a lot, staying out of the office as much as she could. He knew she was only trying to make things easier for him. The moment she was gone, he turned to Thea.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“What?” Thea asked.
“The way you’re acting with Skye. Why are you treating her so badly?” He heard Nick sigh.
“She broke up with you. You expect me to just let it go?”
“Thea, she had her reasons. Just because it didn’t work out between her and me doesn’t mean that she’s not your friend anymore.”
“To me, it does,” Thea objected stubbornly.
“Damn it.” Cian blew out his breath. “Nick?”
Nick shook his head. “She won’t listen to me.”
“Who won’t listen? Skye?” Vanessa said from the doorway.
Cian’s eyes narrowed with menace. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I thought I’d just drop in and see how you were doing.” Vanessa looked at her long manicured nails, a saccharine smile on her face.
“You mean you came to gloat,” Thea noted disgustedly.
“You’re not welcome here.”
“Oh, pooh, Nick, that wasn’t very nice,” Vanessa berated him then turned to Cian. “If you ask me, she wasn’t really worth it, you know. I never understood how you could have gone out with someone so dull and unattractive like her.”
At her disparagement of Skye, Cian barely reigned in his temper. “No, someone like you would never understand. Besides, you’re not the most trustworthy person to take advice from, if you know what I mean,” he stated coolly. “Not just that but you know what? Removing you from my life was the best thing I ever did. Now get your backstabbing ass out of here and don’t come back.”
“You—you—” she spluttered, then as if she couldn’t find any other comeback, settled for, “You’ll regret this. All of you!” She gave a sniff, turned around and walked away.
“Well, that told us,” Nick said wryly.
Cian just shook his head, wondering how the hell he could have ever gone out with that skank.
His thoughts turned back to Skye, as they always did. Every night Cian had to fight the urge to call her, just to hear her voice.
At work, she barely spoke at all. Her absence was like a bleeding hole in his chest, never healing, slowly draining the life out of him. How was it possible to miss someone so much when you saw them every damn day?
He could feel just how big a hole there was in his life without being able to really be with her.
Cian missed her so much, his hands literally shook from the need to touch her, to hold her.
Then there was the rage. So much fury inside him over the fact that she had just given up on them like that. Hell, Skye hadn’t even been willing to fucking try. That’s what got to him the most—that she hadn’t even tried. It wasn’t like her. He didn’t understand it.
Cian wanted to grab her and shake her until she came to her senses. He was afraid he’d end up kis
sing her senseless instead.
Why the hell wasn’t she taking better care of herself? But she was no longer his concern. She had clearly washed herself out of his hands.
Goddamnit, how could she have left him like that? Cian questioned again for what felt like the thousandth time.
Skye didn’t want him. She’d made that damn clear. But there were others who did. He’d find someone else, remove her completely from his mind and—his heart. He didn’t need her love. Love was for the weak. And Cian Hunter wasn’t weak.
He could have any woman he chose.
But not her, a voice whispered in his mind.
Shut up, Cian told it viciously. She wanted out of my life, her loss.
He didn’t need her.
Who had he been kidding? Cian thought later that night, staring at the beautiful redhead with the blue eyes and sexy curves sitting across from him. Wishing she were Skye.
His heart sank. He had been a fool to think he could replace her with someone else. All he could think about was Skye.
Her beautiful coffee-brown eyes which could drown a man in its depths.
Her smile, that unguarded full-of-wonder smile she gave him every time he brought her flowers.
The way she felt in his arms. The way she sighed when he kissed her.
Her sarcastic and abrasive nature. How she looked at him with suspicion in her eyes.
God, how he loved her! Emotion swamped Cian, stealing his breath. He loved her.
And he couldn’t stop loving her, he thought in resignation, even if she didn’t love him. He couldn’t deny his feelings for her, even if to his misfortune, she didn’t feel the same.
“Cian?”
Cian blinked, startled out of his thoughts. He looked up at his date and regret filled him for misleading her. He’d met her at a friend’s party, pre-Skye, when he’d still been dating several women. They’d gone out a few times but he hadn’t pursued her further because Cian’d started going out with Vanessa again.
In his deluded easy-to-forget-Skye scheme, her name had been the first one to pop in his head.
Holding Out For Skye Page 29