Holding Out For Skye

by McKade, S. R.

  “Let it get this far? Do you even hear yourself?” Then something struck at Cian. “You didn’t think she’d do it, did you? Give me up.” The look in his uncle’s eyes told him he was right on the money. He gave a humorless laugh. “You don’t know her very well. Goddamnit, I have to get to her.”

  “Cian, wait. I am sorry for hurting you both. It was never my intention. I was only trying to protect you.” His uncle did look contrite but Cian wasn’t willing to forgive him.

  “You thought it wouldn’t hurt. Give me a break, Uncle Lee. If you think that will sway me, you’re very wrong. She’s hurting because of you, because of me. She’s hurting and I thought nothing of it. I let her go without a damn fight. I’ll never forgive myself for that.” Cian raised tortured eyes to his uncle who flinched at his pain. “I won’t be coming here again and you’d do well to stay away from me and Skye. You can say my goodbyes to Stephanie and Aunt Sylvia.”

  “Cian—” his uncle started but Cian cut him off.

  “Don’t. You’ve done enough.” Cian turned to go but Nick stopped him. He stared at his friend, cursing him for preventing him from leaving. “Damnit, Nick.”

  Nick nodded in acknowledgement. “If you’ll give me a moment, I’m coming with you.”

  Thea stirred. “Nick—”

  “Be quiet,” Nick told her sharply, rendering her speechless. He turned to her father. “Mr. Chan, I love your daughter and I always will. She’s the most precious thing to me in this world and I would have done my best to keep her happy. If that isn’t satisfactory to you, I don’t know what is. But I don’t want our relationship like this, not at the expense of someone else’s. A friend’s at that. So I’m leaving your daughter alone. You don’t have to worry anymore about her being with me. You can rest assured that it won’t happen now.” He turned to Cian. “Let’s go.”

  Thea caught his hand. “Nick, please, don’t do this. Don’t leave me.”

  He gently removed her hand. “Cian made her happy, Thea. She gave him up for us. How can we be happy from her sorrow?”

  Thea seemed to fold in on herself at his words. Her breath hitched on a sob as she watched him walk out of her life.

  She turned to her father with devastated eyes. “How could you do that, dad?” Her face crumbled as she remembered how badly she’d treated Skye. “Oh my god, I treated her like scum.”

  “Honey, I was just looking out for you,” her father said, eyes full of regret.

  “What am I going to do now? Nick left me.”

  “Don’t cry, everything will be alright.”

  “How?” she wailed.

  “I’ll fix it.”

  “Like you fixed things before?”

  “No. I swear this time will be different. I promise you.”

  Lee Chan had never seen his daughter so brokenhearted like this. He rounded his desk and took her in his arms. She hung on tightly, crying as if she’d lost everything. God, he had committed so many mistakes lately, first by keeping Nick and Thea apart, then Skye and Cian.

  But he was going to fix it. He had to.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  At her apartment, Cian raised a hand to knock on the door but then stopped. What if she refused to let him in? Knowing her, that’s what she’d probably do. And he did know her. Better than she knew herself.

  Cian understood now why Kiera had called him an idiot at the restaurant. He should never have accepted the bullshit Skye’d doled out to him about being better off alone. Why the hell had he given up? It wasn’t like him to give up without a fight. So why hadn’t he fought harder for her?

  He remembered the weary look on her face when she’d broken up with him. He’d thought then that was what she wanted. That it was hurting her more to stay with him. That’s why he had given up without a fight. How easily she had fooled him!

  Cian raked a hand through his hair in frustration, causing it to stand up in spikes. She wasn’t getting rid of him so easily this time, he thought with a rush of fierce determination. Skye’d better prepare herself for a hell of a fight.

  He stared thoughtfully at the door for a moment, then smiled thinly. She’d never see it coming. He pulled out his wallet and removed the two pieces of thin metal wire that he’d always kept in it.

  You never knew when you needed to pick someone’s lock.

  Cian looked around cautiously, making sure no nosy neighbour was watching his every move. Slowly sliding the two wires inside the lock, one in each hand, he carefully moved them around, feeling for the lock to give way and looking up every few minutes to make sure no one caught him.

  If he got busted, he’d have a hard time trying to explain why he was jimmying the lock of a young woman’s apartment. His family would never let him live it down if they had to come bail him out of jail. If it were up to Skye to post bail, she would, of course, leave him there for a night or two.

  Couldn’t have that now, could we? He couldn’t get Skye to admit she cared about him from behind bars.

  With a tiny click, the lock turned. Giving a sigh of relief and hoping she hadn’t put on the dead-bolt chain, Cian turned the knob.

  The door opened easily and he made a mental note to give her a stern lecture about making it easy for any creep to break into her apartment. They were also going to have a talk about the flimsy lock she had on the door.

  He slid the wires back in his wallet and with another cautious look around, stepped inside, closing and locking the door as quietly as possible behind him.

  Cian took a few steps into her small living room, alert for any sign of her. She was nowhere in sight. If she wasn’t here, he decided, then he was going to lie in wait for her until she got home.

  Cian inched to her partially open bedroom door. He caught a glimpse of her through the slit.

  Good thing it didn’t squeak when he pushed it farther but even if it had, Skye would never have heard him, with earphones hooked to her ears.

  The drapes of the bed had been pulled back, giving Cian a clear view of her sitting in the middle of it, wearing only a long-sleeved thigh-length dark blue T-shirt that covered her like a mini-dress. Her hair was in disarray around her shoulders and her coffee-colored eyes were fixed to her laptop as if obsessed. With the earphones hooked to her ears, she looked like a mad scientist.

  To Cian, she was the most beautiful sight in the world.

  Looked like she had been in bed all day. He wanted to grab her and wrap his arms tightly around her and never let her go.

  Instead, he grimly controlled himself and stayed where he was. Skye looked up, somehow sensing something amiss. She’d always been able to sense his scrutiny. She blinked at the sight of him and her eyes widened in alarm.

  A wall of hurt stood between them as they stared at each other. Something flashed in her eyes. Cian recognised it as the same pain he saw in his own eyes every day in the mirror ever since they’d separated. He called himself a fool again, for having let her go so easily.

  His heart twisted as he took in the sight of her face, which due to her weight loss looked haggard. She had dark circles under her eyes and she looked too pale. Her raccoon eyes told him she’d probably not been getting much needed sleep.

  She looked as unapproachable as a star, thousands of million light years away.

  Cian knew he didn’t look any better either. Damn her soft heart for putting her friends first. Damn him for having taken her aloof stance to heart when he had known from the beginning that it was only a front.

  As if a signal had been given, Skye snapped out of her trance and hurriedly pulled out her ear buds. She had the volume on high and Cian could hear Greenday’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” from where he stood.

  How apt. The song definitely applied to their situation.

  “Hello, Skye,” Cian said in a low voice, his eyes drinking her in hungrily.

  Skye jolted a
t the sound of his voice and tried to keep her face blank but couldn’t quite manage it. She was stunned to see him here, in her room. What was he doing here anyway? He was watching her so intensely with those piercing eyes of his that her hand went to her throat in a nervous gesture.

  “What—what are you doing here?” Skye frowned. Come to think of it… “How did you get in?”

  Cian smiled grimly. “I picked the lock. We need to have a talk about leaving the safety chain off and that flimsy excuse you have for a door lock.”

  Skye’s eyes widened again, with disbelief this time. “You picked the lock? How?”

  “We all have our secrets, don’t we? Some more than others. Wouldn’t you agree, Skye?” His pale gray eyes, narrowed to slits, glittered dangerously at her.

  Skye swallowed. Hard. With his pale gaze fixed on her and his shadowed jaw, Cian looked dangerous. Coldly furious.

  He knew. Somehow he knew the truth. That would be the only reason he would have gone to such extremes to get her cornered. How had he found out?

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Skye hedged.

  “Oh, I think you do.” Cian strode to her and snapped her laptop shut. Startled, she was late to react and by the time she did, he’d already placed her laptop and earphones on the window seat.

  “Hey!” Skye scrambled back as he made a grab for her. She shot up out of the bed but he cornered her against the wall. He looked angry, furious actually.

  He towered over her and Skye felt small compared to him. Wrapping one hand almost gently around her throat, he leaned in so close she could feel his breath on her face. She shivered at his touch. The focused intensity in his eyes told her there was no way he was letting her go, not until he’d gotten what he came for.

  Skye should have been scared of him and yet she wasn’t, even after the manner he’d entered her apartment. Who would have thought suave, sophisticated Cian Hunter knew how to pick locks?

  “You’re not going anywhere,” Cian confirmed in a soft menacing tone. “What the hell were you thinking agreeing to Uncle Lee’s terms? Did you think Nick would thank you for your sacrifice? Thea didn’t.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Skye repeated, sticking to her I-don’t-know-anything attitude.

  “Oh, you know perfectly well what I’m talking about, love,” Cian drawled. “You’re a damn fraud. Pretending you don’t care about people when you damn well do. If you’re wondering how I found out, the truth came straight from the source’s mouth. So you can definitely consider your word to Uncle Lee null and void.” His gaze didn’t waver from her face. “Oh yes, I know damn well you would have given your word to keep your little deal a secret.”

  Cian saw her eyes widen at his knowledge. “You see, I know you so well. I should have seen right through to your little pretense but I didn’t.” Pain flashed in his eyes. “But that’s on me.”

  “Cian—”

  “Don’t. I’m so furious with you. Damn you.”

  Skye flinched at the pain and anger in his voice.

  So she was going to keep acting clueless, Cian thought. They’d see about that.

  “I think you should know, Nick broke up with Thea when he heard about your little deal with Uncle Lee.”

  “What?”

  Cian heard the shock reverberating in her voice. That got to you quick enough.

  “Yes,” he corroborated. “Nick didn’t want to have anything to do with the deal you made.”

  “Oh, no,” Skye whispered, distraught.

  “So you see, your martyr act was for naught.”

  “But he loves her. He can’t break up with her.” Skye looked completely shaken.

  “Like you did? And how are you going to fix that? By making another deal?”

  Skye went still at his words. Cian saw the pain in her eyes. For the first time since they’d broken up, he could read her emotions again. He could feel her hurting and it ate at him.

  “Was it so easy to let go of me? To break up with me?” Cian demanded in a soft tone that hit her with the impact of a shout. It was worse than if he had shouted at her.

  “No. No, it wasn’t.”

  “So why did you, damn you? Did I mean so little to you?”

  “No!” Skye’s heart ached with his every word. He meant the world to her.

  “What did I mean to you, then?”

  Skye’s heart ached. How could she tell him how she felt about him?

  “Damn you.” Damn her for having such heart-breaking eyes. So he did the only thing he could do.

  He kissed her.

  If his kisses had been potent before, this one annihilated her. It swept her defenses away like they were nothing. The intensity of his kiss shook her to her core. In that one instant, Skye understood just how careful he’d always been with her. All those times he’d kissed her before, he’d been cautious with her, careful not to scare her away but he wasn’t holding back anymore. The full force of his emotions floored her senses and left her shaking in the aftermath.

  Cian tore his mouth from hers. Triumph swept through him at the dazed look in her eyes. “Say it, damn you.”

  “I love you,” she admitted helplessly, her eyes flooding with tears.

  The sight of her tears quickly banished his anger. “Don’t cry,” Cian said somewhat desperately, trying to stem her tears with his fingers. His arms came around her as he tried to comfort her.

  “I’m not crying,” Skye denied irritably, in spite of the evidence to the contrary and pressed her knuckles to her eyes.

  She made him smile through his jitters over her tears. Cian swung her up in his arms and moved to the bed. He lay back against the headboard and pressed her face to his shoulder, his heart aching as she fought the sobs that racked her body.

  “Yes, you are,” Cian pointed out exasperatedly.

  She hiccupped on a sob. “No, I’m not.”

  “Let it go, love. I’m here now. Just let it go,” Cian urged in a gentle voice.

  As if a dam burst inside of her, the tears simply flooded out, drowning Skye. The pain of the past weeks, of watching Cian every day and knowing he probably hated her. The pressure of having to keep up the farce that she didn’t love him. She cried as if the hurt went so deep, her tears could fill up a lake. She hung on tightly to him, unable to believe he was really here.

  Cian held her just as firmly, his own heart suffering. He felt powerless against the onslaught of her tears. Intellectually, he knew it was better for her to let it all out. But god, he’d do anything to stop her tears.

  After what felt like ages, her sobs finally lessened. Cian wondered if her heart felt as bruised as his did. He let out a breath of relief when she went quiet and handed her the box of tissues from the nightstand.

  “I’m sorry I blubbered over you and wet your shirt,” Skye rasped as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

  “You should be sorry,” Cian muttered. “For causing us both so much heartache.”

  “You could have just said it was nothing, like a gentleman,” Skye groused.

  Oh, his prickly ray of sunshine was back, Cian thought with a smile. He knew what she was doing, trying to downplay her breakdown. “And let you get away with hurting us both like that?”

  “I said I was sorry.”

  “So you did.”

  “Alright, what?”

  “I want your damn word you won’t do anything like this behind my back ever again.”

  Skye sighed. “I promise I won’t go behind your back again.”

  “Or do or promise anything without my knowledge.”

  He was neatly boxing her in. “Cian—”

  “Your word,” he said firmly.

  “Fine. I give you my word I won’t do or promise anything without your knowledge.”

  “Good.”

 
“Where did you learn to pick locks anyway?”

  Cian thought of the many jams his brothers, Nick and he had gotten into when they were kids and smiled enigmatically. “Maybe I’ll tell you one day.”

  “Why not now?”

  “Because.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  Cian grinned at the pique in her voice. “No, it’s not.” He lifted her chin so their eyes met. “For the record, I love you too.”

  “You do?” Disbelief clouded her brown eyes.

  “Oh yes, I do. You better believe it.”

  “But… why?” Skye’d never expected he’d love her back. Had not even hoped for it.

  “Why I love you?” Cian took hold of her hand, slid his fingers through hers. “Well, there’re so many charming things about you. Your sarcastic, kick-ass attitude for one,” Cian teased. Watching her face fall, he smiled and pulled her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss on her fingers. “I love every prickly, sarcastic, stubborn, abrasive part of you. I love how you smile at me when you think I’m not looking.”

  “I don’t,” Skye refused, unnerved.

  “I know for a fact you do,” Cian countered with a smug smile. “I love how you disagree with me on everything, how you look at me with suspicion in your eyes. I love your soft heart, which you hide so adamantly. I love how you’d go to bat for the people you care about, for me. I love the way you make me laugh, how you make life so interesting and fun for me. I love how you look in your autumn colored dress. Heck, I’d love the sight of you even if you were wearing a brown sack. I love how you look when you’re plotting something, so sexy and enigmatic.”

  He grinned when she blushed. “I love your eyes, how they make me feel like I could drown in them. I love every little thing about you. You’re the only one I want.”

  Skye’s eyes filled with awe at the heartfelt litany, chasing away the shadows. Her heart fluttered in her chest, the beats quickening with joy. He loved her! Cian really loved her.

  A luminous smile lit her face and in that moment, she looked utterly beautiful to Cian.

  “You love me,” Skye breathed in wonder.